Friday, December 21, 2012
Today is day 6 of my on track streak!
I originally started streaking on March 1st, and I managed to go for 290 days before breaking that streak. When that streak ended, I was disappointed, but not as much as I thought I would be. Mostly, I was just proud of myself for lasting so long...and I was especially proud of myself for starting over instead of giving up once it ended.
When I started my streak in March, I got a starting weigh in and then I stopped weighing myself. I stayed off the scale until the Rootin' for Ruby Labor Day Pound-a-thon challenge in August. This morning, I got a Sparkmail asking me how I managed to stay off the scale for so long, so I thought I would blog about that today.
Staying off the scale should have been difficult for me, because I have always been scale obsessed. Even when I wasn't actively trying to lose weight, I would weigh myself a LOT. At least once a day, and sometimes multiple times a day. If I was trying to lose weight, I would get on that scale and if I didn't like the number, it would ruin my day. I would console myself...with food! If I liked the number, I would be happy and I'd reward myself...with food! If I wasn't trying to lose weight, I'd still get on the scale and then beat myself up for how high the number would be. Then I'd go console myself...with food!
So when I started streaking in March, I decided to just forgo the scale as much as possible. Once I got my starting weight, I was done with weighing in all the time. Instead, I just decided to focus on my health. I challenged myself to make each day as healthy as I possibly could. This involved all the obvious things, such as drinking water, tracking my food, and working out. I also eliminated processed foods as much as possible.
At the beginning of my streak, I worked out for 15 minutes a day. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it was all I could do. I was working out with a video game for the Wii, called My Fitness Coach. I pushed myself hard during those workouts, and although I had to modify the moves a lot, at the end of those 15 minutes I would be drenched in sweat and completely worn out. I was actually shocked by how out of shape I really was. I had always told myself "For a fat girl, I'm in pretty good shape." Wow, what a lie! I had been living such a sedentary life, even just walking across the room would leave my breathless, but somehow I had convinced myself that I was "in pretty good shape." Now I was facing the reality....I was in terrible shape! I weighed 286 lbs and a 15 minute workout was exhausting to me! But I knew that if I kept working out every day, those 15 minutes would increase.
So every morning, I would get up and do my 15 minute workout. After a couple of weeks, I added a second 15 minute workout in the evening. I began to notice that my clothes were getting a little looser, and that the workouts weren't quite as exhausting to me. I increased my workout time to 30 minutes, twice a day. I was still working out with My Fitness Coach, but after about 6 weeks of that, I was getting a little bored. I knew I had to find another workout to do. I eventually discovered DDP Yoga, and I mentioned it to hubby. He surprised me by ordering it for me!
When I got the workouts, I was so excited, and so eager to try something new! But boy, when I first tried that workout, it was harder than I thought it would be. I had to modify the moves a LOT! And even with that, the workout was still so difficult for me. But I knew I had to keep pushing. I knew that if I kept at it, I would get better. So I stuck with it, and I did get better and better. As the weight came off, not only did I go down in clothing sizes, but I went UP in energy, strength and stamina. As the inches melted away, I was able to get deeper into the yoga poses, and my flexibility increased.My workouts increased from 15 minutes a day to 30 minutes a day to where I am now, at 90 minutes a day (broken up into three workouts.) What awesome non-scale victories!
When the Pound-a-thon challenge started on August 13, I was finally ready to weigh myself. To be honest, it was hard for me to step on that scale! But I did it, and I was so happy to see that I'd lost 65 lbs. And at the end of the challenge, on Labor Day, I weighed again and found that I'd lost 6 more lbs, for a total of 71 lbs lost since March first!
I haven't been on the scale since then, though. I find that it is easier for me to stay on track if I don't have to worry about weighing myself. For me, what works is focusing on being healthy, not on weight. I do feel that I am at a plateau, because my clothing size has not changed in a while. But I'm fine with that, because I STILL have NSV's all the time! I can do so many things now that I couldn't do when I started my streak. I have so much energy, and I feel so much younger! I feel HEALTHY. And I know that this plateau won't last forever. I know that I will eventually reach my goal, to be a size 8. Right now I'm a size 14, so I'm close!
Maybe staying off the scale isn't for everyone, but its what works for me.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Today is day ONE of my brand new " on track " streak!
My previous streak ended yesterday due to a binge. I had been on track for 290 days! Wow, what a huge number, huh? And I am very proud of myself for it. But you know what? I'm even more proud of myself for TODAY! Yes, its only day one of my new streak, and 1 is such a small number compared to 290. But I'm proud of that lovely little "1", because of what it represents.
In the past, a binge would mean that I was totally off track. One bad day would ALWAYS lead to two bad days....or a week of bad days...or a month of bad days....or even several months of bad days. Falling off the wagon always meant a huge struggle to get myself back on the wagon again, with lots of self disgust and anger...and then giving up for a while.
But not this time! This time my binge was just one bad meal....not one bad day. I was angry and frustrated with myself for giving in to the junk food, but I picked myself right back up and got right back on track again. I didn't beat myself up for the slip. I didn't starve myself for the rest of the day to make up for the binge. I forgave myself and realized that it was just one moment of weakness. I realized that one bad moment didn't have to lead to one bad day.
When I woke up this morning, I had almost forgotten all about yesterdays binge! (I was reminded quickly, though, when I logged on to Sparks and saw that my blog from yesterday was a featured blog, lol.) But I didn't feel any regret for what I did yesterday. I actually felt optimistic and eager to start on my brand new day one!
This is my lifestyle now. Its not just a temporary diet. There will be bad days from time to time, but I know that I am strong enough to get back on track when those bad days happen. I know I will never give up on myself and my quest to be as healthy as I possibly can. I have no idea how long this new streak will last, but in the end it doesn't matter. As long as I keep putting forth my best effort to have more good days than bad ones, I will reach any goal I set for myself.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." (Henry Ford)
On March first, I started streaking, doing my best to make each day as healthy as possible. At that time I weighed 286 lbs. I was living a very sedentary lifestyle and living on mostly junk food. Every day was full of pain; the physical pain of obesity from sore knees, hips, feet and everything else...along with the emotional pain of being embarrassed by how I looked and by my own lack of control over food. When I finally just got so sick of myself that I couldn't stand it anymore, I decided to make a change. I just wanted to try to do as much as I could to reclaim my health and self esteem. So I decided to start streaking. My goal was to just make each day as healthy as I possibly could.
When I started my streak, I had no idea how many days in a row I would be able to go. I thought for sure I would have to start over...and over...and over. But a funny thing happened. I found that with each successful day I had, I gained strength and determination to just keep going to the next day, and the next. I would wake up every morning feeling proud of myself for the hard work I'd done the day before. Each workout made me feel strong and confident that I could keep going, that I could do more. Each time I ate a healthy meal, it felt like my body was thanking me for treating it with respect. As the days turned into weeks, I started building up my workout time, from 15 minutes a day to 45...to 60...to more.
I was losing weight and inches, but more importantly, I was gaining LIFE. I've said this before but I'll say it again...as my body got smaller, my life got bigger! I stopped thinking of this as a streak, and started thinking of it as a lifestyle. I became a completely different person...not just thinner, but happier, more confident, more optimistic, and healthier. I was thinking that it would be possible for me to make my streak last for an entire year!
Unfortunately, my streak ended today. I let stress and money worries get to me, and I binged...a HUGE binge! Afterwards, I felt so remorseful and sick. The weight of that disgusting junk food in my stomach made me feel physically ill. It amazes me that I used to binge like that all the time! How did I ever live that way? It does not feel good to gorge yourself on food.
So my streak has ended...but a new one is starting. Am I disappointed that my streak has ended? Yes, I am. But I'm not beating myself up about it. It was a mistake...and I have learned from it. I've learned that I do not EVER want to go back to the old me. I know what I want...I want to be healthy, fit, and trim. And I know what I need to do in order to make that happen, so I am getting right back to work. I have a light, healthy dinner planned. I am not going to starve myself to make up for that binge. I'm just getting myself back on track, and looking ahead.
I am never going to give up. This was just a setback, not the end of the road.
Sunday, December 09, 2012
Today is day 284 of my on track streak!
I'm celebrating another NSV!
In 2007, hubby surprised me with a beautiful wedding and engagement ring. Nothing huge or fancy, but it meant the world to me, because it was the first wedding and engagement ring set I ever had! This is my second marriage (my first husband was killed by a drunk driver) but I've never had an engagement ring or wedding ring before.
Anyway, hubby was so proud when he presented me with the rings back in 2007, and I was really touched. I wore those rings with pride...but then I started gaining weight, and the rings got tighter and tighter. Eventually it got to the point where I just couldn't wear them anymore, because they were so tight that it hurt! So I sadly put the rings in my jewelry box. I could tell hubby was hurt and disappointed that I had to stop wearing them....and I felt very ashamed of myself.
In March, when I started my streak, one of the things I most looked forward to was the day when I would be able to wear those rings again. I started trying them on once a month or so, and always felt a bit disappointed when they just didn't fit. At first, I couldn't even get them back on my finger at all. But as time went by, I was able to squeeze them back on, but they were still just too tight for me to wear them comfortably.
The last time I tried them on was at the end of October, and they ALMOST fit. I was tempted to wear them, but I knew they'd just cut off my circulation! So I reluctantly put them back in the jewelry box.
Well, I guess you know where this is going, right? This morning I decided to try the rings on again...and they fit! They fit perfectly! Not too tight at all! I can wear them comfortably, and I think they look darn good on me! So that is my NSV for today...I can wear my rings again!
I actually had another NSV. When hubby saw that I was wearing the rings, his face lit up. He looked so happy, and so proud of me! Seeing that look of pride on his face just made my day!
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