Thursday, November 29, 2012
Today is day 274 of my on track streak!
Yesterday I was feeling a bit overwhelmed about things... worried that I wasn't making progress fast enough, and fearful that people would think I wasn't trying hard enough. I was really stressing about the scale....and I don't even own one, lol. I have a Wii Fit, and I can weigh myself with that if I want to....but I DON'T want to. I haven't weighed myself since September 3rd and I don't have any plans to weigh myself again this year.
I'm glad I posted a blog about my feelings yesterday, because it really helped me to get things off my chest. I was feeling so insecure and stressed, but as always my wonderful Sparkfriends were there for me. Thank you to everyone who commented on my blog. I appreciate your support, encouragement and wisdom.
My Sparkfriends reminded me of WHY I started my streak. It wasn't really about losing weight. It was about gaining health! And you know what? I am a success in that! My health has improved so much since I started my streak. Yes, I've lost weight. I'm not going to say that losing 71 lbs isn't important or that it doesn't matter to me. I am thrilled that I've lost that much weight!
But I'm even more thrilled by how much healthier I am, and by the many non-scale victories I've had. Since starting my streak, so much has changed in my life! I no longer have high blood pressure. I have only had GERD once since March. I am strong, I am flexible, and I have endurance. I rarely have plantar fascia pain anymore. My heart doesn't pound when I walk across the room. My knees don't ache when I go up and down the porch stairs. (I can actually SKIP up the stairs now!) My stomach doesn't touch the steering wheel anymore.
When I wake up in the morning, I don't have that awful feeling of disgust and regret over how much I ate the day before. I wake up with enthusiasm for the day, because I know that every day is another chance to push myself closer to my goal. Some days are only baby steps. Some days are giant leaps! (And to be honest, some days are barely a crawl.) But every day is a new chance to make progress, and every little bit of progress adds up.
So in the end, who cares what the Wii Fit might reveal when I finally do weigh in? Whether I've lost ten pounds or twenty pounds...or even less...I have made progress and I am proud of myself for it. And I am so grateful to all my Spark friends who have supported and encouraged me along the way. You guys rock!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Today is day 273 of my on track streak!
Confession time...I am feeling overwhelmed and a little embarrassed. I'm so afraid of letting people down, and I have been putting so much pressure on myself.
As many of my Sparkfriends know, I started this streak on March 1st, and I stayed off the scale for months. My streak has been about getting healthy, with weight loss as a bonus. I have been eating between 1200 to 1500 calories a day, and also working out every day. Staying off the scale was the best thing I ever did, because it allowed me to not worry too much about numbers. Focusing solely on my heath has helped me to stay on track, because I could see progress almost every day.
When I started my streak, I could barely get through a 15 minute workout! I would be so exhausted, and I'd be covered in sweat...but I felt so good and so proud of myself! I would tell myself "I did it...and now I know I can do it again tomorrow." And as the days and weeks passed, I got stronger and better. My endurance increased, and I was able to add to my fitness minutes. When I weighed myself on September 3rd, I'd lost 71 lbs! But more importantly, I was healthier than I'd been in years, and fitter too. It felt great!
I've had so much support and encouragement from my Sparkfriends, and it has meant the world to me. It has helped me to stay strong and to keep going. But....there is pressure too. I sometimes feel like I'm just not doing well enough. You see, I've been at a plateau for a couple of months now. I am still on track...still eating right, and still exercising. I'm drinking my water. I'm staying active throughout the day. I am switching up my exercise routine every two weeks. I'm not weighing myself, but I can just tell that I have not lost much weight since September.
I'm not discouraged, though. I know that plateau's happen, and I'm willing to keep on working even though I am not feeling like I'm losing weight. After all, I am still making progress. I am still getting healthy, and getting healthy is what my streak is all about. I have NSV's (non-scale victories) fairly often, and I celebrate them. When I am able to do one more pushup than I could before...when I am able to hold a difficult yoga pose longer....when I am able to walk long distances without becoming completely exhausted...when I have more energy and stamina than I did before...I KNOW I am making progress. Even if the weight loss has stopped for now, I know I am healthier than I was this time last year.
But I worry that I will disappoint people. I have said that I will weigh myself again on New Years day, but I sure hope no one will think I'm some kind of fraud if I haven't lost a huge amount of weight by then. I don't want to let anyone down. Sometimes I feel like running away and hiding!
Well, I feel better now that I've gotten that off my chest! I am not at all discouraged that the weight doesn't seem to be coming off because I know that if I just keep going, it will happen eventually. And I know that I am healthy, and that this has truly become a lifestyle for me. I don't want to ever go back to my old ways...eating tons of junk, and sitting around all day. That way was just leading me to the grave. I love my new lifestyle! I feel so much better now, and I will never stop being amazed by that.
So when I weigh in on New Years day, I am going to be happy no matter what the scale says. I just hope no one is disappointed in me.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Today is day 271 of my "on track" streak!
I love the feeling of being on track. That doesn't mean that I am perfect! I certainly am not. There are days when I don't workout as hard as I should, and there are days where I eat something that is not very healthy, or I am very close to going over my calories. But although each day isn't perfect, there are good moments in every day!
As many of my Spark friends know, I'm not a big fan of getting on the scale. I weighed myself when I started my streak on March 1, 2012, in order to get my starting weight. (And it was a horrible shock to see that I weighed 286 lbs!) But after getting my starting weight, I said goodbye to the scale. I'm not trying to lose NUMBERS. I'm trying to lose SIZES. I'm not trying to get thin. I'm trying to get healthy. Thats what my streak has been all about. It was never about getting to a certain weight. Its always been about saving my life and being as healthy as I possibly can be.
So every day, I do as much as I can to benefit my health. Some days are better than others. I'm sure you've all heard that its important to take steps towards your goals every day, even if its just baby steps. Well, there have been days when I couldn't even take a baby step...I just crawled! But I never STOPPED, and I never took a step backwards. I'm proud of that! (But even if I had taken a step backwards, I know I would not give up. I would just start over.)
The funny thing is, once I started focusing on my health, the weight started coming off! At first I had no idea how much weight I was losing, because I wasn't weighing myself. But I sure did have a lot of NSV's (non scale victories) to celebrate! My clothes were getting looser...and I was able to wear smaller and smaller sizes. I remember the day I packed up my size 3X clothes for donation, because they just hung on me. I couldn't stop smiling all day long! And it was the same way when I "un grew" my size 2X clothes! I went from size 3x to XL without stepping on a scale, and it felt great.
When I did finally weigh myself for a team challenge, (on August 13) I was thrilled to see that I'd lost 65 lbs. At the end of the challenge (3 weeks later) I weighed in again and had lost 6 lbs more, for a total of 71 lbs. I was so happy about that, but you know what? It was just a number, and although I was proud of it, it didn't mean nearly as much to me as my NSV's have.
I've had so many NSV's since I started my streak last March. Prior to my streak, I must confess that I basically lived in nightgowns. I was so obese, I didn't feel comfortable in anything else. But now I get up in the morning and get dressed in my workout clothes right away. (I call it my Warrior Gear, lol.) Its an absolute thrill to be able to wear size Large t-shirts! They look so small to me, and when I put them on I still marvel that they fit me. And I feel so proud of myself because I know...I worked hard to be able to fit into them! My next goal is to move down to a size Medium t shirt.
And there are other NSV's. The fact that I have so much stamina and energy now is a HUGE non scale victory! I literally used to get out of breath just walking from the bed to the en suite bathroom...but not anymore! When I go to the grocery store, I used to park as close to the entrance as possible, but now I park as FAR AWAY from the entrance as I can! I don't get out of breath, and I don't limp from plantar fascia pain. I walk without pain, and with a bounce in my step!
But my favorite NSV is the closeness with my hubby. Before my streak, my stomach was so huge...when hubby would hug me, I'd try to suck in my gut, but there was still way too much of my belly in between us. I would always feel embarrassed, so I would avoid his hugs as much as possible. I didn't feel like a woman...I just felt like an enormous blob. But now, I love hugs! His arms can go all the way around me now, and I feel like a woman again.
I will probably weigh myself again on New Years day, and I know I will be happy with whatever number I get on the scale. But it won't matter to me as much as NSV's do!
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Today is day 259 of my streak!
I'm still doing three workouts a day, and really enjoying it. In the morning, I do my strength workout. This morning was core body. I workout with a video game called My Fitness Coach for Wii. It really is a good workout and I enjoy it. Depending on my mood, I do either 30 minutes or 45 minutes.
Then in the afternoon, I do cardio. I've started doing cardio kickboxing workouts, and I love it! It makes me feel like a tough girl, lol. I have these pink weighted gloves (1.7 lbs) for the workout;
I'll have to get hubby to take a picture of me wearing my gloves, maybe for my next blog.
Then in the evening comes my favorite workout, DDP Yoga! I look forward to this workout all day...I think of it as my treat for doing the other two workouts. Here's little Youtube clip of a DDP Yoga workout;
Before I started my streak on March first, I always looked for an EASY workout. If a workout made me start sweating or breathing hard, I would think "Oh, its so hard...I can't do this...I'm so tired...I want to stop." I never pushed myself to see just how much I really could do. But now I know that a workout SHOULD be a bit challenging. After all, the first part of workout is WORK!
When I first started my streak, I could only workout for 15 minutes at a time, and it was such a struggle. In the past, I would just give up...but I was determined not to give up this time. I knew that if I just kept pushing myself, I would get better and stronger. So I hung in there, and slowly I did get better, and able to do more and more. I could see and feel the progress I was making, and it made me so proud!
I'm so much stronger now than I used to be. I have muscles, I have stamina and I have balance. I also still have a lot of fat and extra skin, but that fat is slowly melting away, and the skin is tightening up somewhat. At my age (51) I know that my skin won't firm up the way it would if I was in my 20's, but I'm okay with that. I'm not losing this weight to look good. I'm doing it to feel good, and to be healthy. I'm doing it to save my life.
I just thank God every day that I finally got started and that I stuck with it. I am not at my goal yet...I still have a lot more work to do, but I am ready for the challenge! I know I WILL reach my goal next year, and its a very exciting thought. It will be awesome when I get there, but in the meantime, I am making my life NOW as awesome as I can.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Today is day 257 of my "on track" streak!
NSV report! I am wearing a shirt today that I was not able to wear just a couple of weeks ago! Its a cool Ron Jon Surf Shop shirt that I got when I lived in Florida back in 2006. I was at my goal size back then, and I wore this shirt a lot. When I started gaining the weight back, I held onto all my "thin" clothes...and I'm so glad I did! Now that I'm back on track, I am slowly fitting into my old wardrobe. Its great to be wearing this shirt again! In the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit...the shirt was a little loose on me back in 2006. It doesn't fit me loosely now, it fits me just right. But I can wear it again, so I'm very happy! (And besides, its going to be loose on me again soon!)
I actually have TWO non-scale victories to report today, but first I want to update you (if you're interested) on my progress with my goal for this month. Have you ever heard of
S. M. A. R. T. goals?
My SMART goal for this month is to be able to do 5 to 10 pushups with good form. To achieve this goal, I have been doing wall pushups every time I go into the kitchen, and doing upper body strength exercises 3 times a week.
I can do pushups, but they are a struggle for me, and my form is terrible. So I've really been working on it, and today I did a self checkup to see if I've improved. Well...not very much, lol. I was able to do two pushups with good form, but no more than that. Even with all the upper body strength workouts I've been doing, I still don't have the strength to do more than two pushups with good form. But I'm not discouraged, and I'm not giving up! Last week, I couldn't even do ONE pushup with proper form! So the fact that I could do TWO today shows that I am making progress, and I'm proud of myself!
My plan for the rest of the month is to just keep doing what I've been doing. And if I don't reach my goal by the end of the month, I'll just give myself a little more time, and hopefully I'll reach that goal by the end of December.
To help with my progress, I am going to amp it up a bit. I started the month by doing 5 wall pushups every time I went into the kitchen, and then slowly built up to 7. But now, instead of doing wall pushups, I'm going to do incline pushups against the kitchen counter, and I'm going to do 9. Hopefully next Monday I'll be able to do THREE real pushups with good form. Wish me luck!
Yesterday I went to the grocery store, and fell right into temptation. They had these cute little boxes of dark chocolate non-pariels for sale, and they looked so yummy. I gave in and bought a box. I figured that I could just treat myself to one a day, for about 30 calories. Well, I should have known better! For me, chocolates are like potato chips...no one can eat just one! (Remember that old commercial?)
So last night about an hour before bedtime, I had one little chocolate....and then I couldn't stop thinking about them! When hubby went outside to walk the dog, I went into the kitchen and sneaked a handful of chocolates into my bathrobe pocket! And I started nibbling! I was counting the calories in my head as I ate them....30....60...90...120....and then I stopped. I realized that I wasn't even enjoying the chocolates. I went into the kitchen and emptied my bathrobe pocket into the trash can before hubby came back in.
I hadn't gone over my calories for the day but I'd certainly pushed myself to the higher end. And for what? A few little chocolates that weren't even that good! I was really mad at myself. I told myself that in the morning, I would just throw the rest of the chocolates away.
When I woke up this morning, I thought of those chocolates, and I decided I'd just have "one more for the road" before I threw them away. But guess what? I didn't do it! I didn't have any chocolate this morning...I just threw the rest of the box away, and then I took the trash out. I was so proud of myself for doing that...getting rid of that temptation without one last taste! I am stronger than chocolate, I am stronger than temptation. I am stronger than I was when I started my streak in March!
I didn't feel guilty for throwing that food away, either. I hate to waste food, but I'd rather WASTE it than WAIST it. So that is my 2nd NSV for the day.
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