Friday, December 07, 2012
Today is day 282 of my on track streak!
You know, I feel like an athlete now! I do my best to eat right every day. I have eliminated processed foods from my diet as much as possible, and I never starve myself....and I never binge. I think of food as fuel now, not as something to comfort myself with. I workout every day, and I push myself as hard as I can.
When I go to the grocery store, I park at the furthest end of the parking lot as I can, just so I will get extra steps. When I shop, I read the labels...not just the calories and serving sizes, but also the sugars, sodium, protein, etc. The majority of my time in the grocery store is spent in the produce section...no labels there, lol.
At home when I workout, I try to always give it 100%, and I don't quit when I get sweaty, tired, or when the workout is really challenging me. (This is a far cry from the way I used to workout! In the past, I would just do a half hearted, easy workout, and never break a sweat or even start to breathe a little harder!)
I've become so much stronger and healthier, but I know I still have such a long way to go. I FEEL like an athlete, but I know I sure don't LOOK like one. Sometimes I wonder if people look at me and just see a fat chick. Do they judge me? Do they think I am lazy, or that I eat junk food all day? The old me WAS lazy, and I DID eat junk food all day. But not anymore! I'm so different, but it doesn't really show.
People who know me (like my Spark friends) know how hard I've worked, and they've seen my progress in my pictures. But strangers don't know how far I've come. They can only judge me on what they see. And although I've worked really hard and come a long way since I've started my streak, the truth is that I am still overweight. Although I've lost 71 lbs so far, I still have a big belly and big arms. I have muscles, but they are still covered in the fat layers that I'm working so hard to melt off.
Today when I went to the grocery store, I stopped first at Dash In (convenience store) to get gas. As I was going in to pay, there was a group of about 6 or so people standing out front with their bicycles, drinking water. They were wearing those skin tight bike shorts and shirts and those special shoes, and helmets. They looked so darn healthy and in shape and athletic! I was intimidated to walk past them. Although they didn't say anything, I felt like they were looking at me and judging me. Maybe they were...or maybe it was just my own insecurity messing with my head. But I felt like saying "I'm not really what you see! I'm an athlete too!"
Sometimes I feel intimidated and insecure even here on Sparks. I blog and talk about how hard I workout, and then someone will leave a nice comment on my blog...and when I go to look at their page to thank them for the comment, I see they are thin, with a low body fat, and that they run marathons or something like that! It makes me feel like "oh, I'm not as good as she is! She probably thinks I'm just a silly old fat lady and that my workouts are just a warm up for someone like her!"
I need to remember that this is not a competition, and I'm not doing this to impress anyone but MYSELF. I am working out and eating right in order to be healthy, and to save my life. NOT because I need to be like anyone else. I just want to be the best that *I* can be. I may not look like an athlete now, and maybe I never will. But I am going to keep working hard, and make every day as healthy as I can. I may never be able to ride my bike for miles, or to run in a marathon...but I can be the best version of me!
I wish you all a great day! Keep working, keep pushing yourself, and do everything you can in order to be the best version of YOU that you can be! You are worth the effort!
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Today is day 279 of my on track streak!
Well December is off to a great start for me...how about you? I have made a plan for what I'm going to do this month, because I know that the work I put in THIS month will decide who I am NEXT month! And I sure do want to get to January feeling healthy, strong and PROUD of myself for doing my best in December!
I've been on track since March 1st, and aside from losing at least 71 lbs, I have made SOOOO much progress! I feel completely different in so many ways....I'm not the same person that I used to be. The old me was depressed, unhealthy, and slowly dying from obesity. The new me is optimistic, strong, flexible and getting healthier one day at a time. I am changing my life. My progress may be slow sometimes, but I will never stop working for it.
When I started my streak, I was only able to workout for 15 minutes at a time, and even that was a HUGE struggle. I wanted to quit so many times! But I pushed myself to just keep going. I posted motivational quotes on the edge of the TV, so I could see them everytime I worked out. I'd change them up every week. They were sayings such as "Train insane or remain the same" ..."Results or excuses? You can't have both!" ....and "HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?"
I would sweat and pant like a dog during those workouts, and there were lots of times when I had to modify the moves or go at a slower pace, but I didn't stop. And slowly, I built up my strength and endurance. There were times when I literally surprised myself with how much better I was getting! I started increasing my exercise time, and then I started looking for a new workout to do.
I thank God that I found DDP Yoga! When I first heard of it, it was through a very motivational video I saw on Youtube, of a man named Arthur Boorman who completely changed his life by doing DDP Yoga. The video brought tears to my eyes, and made my heart beat faster. I thought "I want to try that! I want to do that yoga too!" Here is the Arthur Boorman clip, its really worth watching. Its one of the most inspiring things I have ever seen, and although I've watched it many times since I first saw it back in April, it still inspires and motivates me.
In May, hubby bought the DDP Yoga workouts for me, and I began to do them right away. I loved the workout...but boy was it hard! To be honest, when I first started doing the workouts, I thought I'd never get good at it. But I stuck with it, modifying the moves whenever I needed to. And as time went by, I got better and better! I'd found a workout that I absolutely loved, and to this day I still love it. Here is a sample clip of a DDP Yoga workout;
By the way, if you want to know what Arthur Boorman looks like today, he's in that sample clip. He's the guy wearing the maroon shirt in the background at :16 and :19.
I'm not trying to promote DDP Yoga. It works for me, and I love it. You might not. The important thing is to find a workout that you enjoy, because then you will actually do it!
Have a healthy December, everyone. Keep pushing to reach your goals. Don't wait to get started. If you start today, you will reach your goals one day sooner!
Saturday, December 01, 2012
Happy December! Today is day 276 of my on track streak!
Its a new month....and also the last month of the year! So what are you going to do with it? I've read that the typical weight gain for the holiday season is around 5 pounds. I don't know if thats true or not, but I do know that the holiday season brings extra temptations and extra struggles.
In the past, I would treat December as a free pass to eat, eat, eat! After all, there are so many goodies around now that are not around at any other time of the year. So I always felt that I just had to have them all, and in huge amounts!
But this year is going to be different. I am NOT going to graze and graze all month long. Yes, there are special treats around, but that doesn't mean I have to have them all. I don't need to gorge myself. I'm not going to throw away any of the progress I've made since March. I've worked too darn hard for it!
I'm not saying I won't have a treat here and there. But I will stay strong. I will limit the amount of treats I have, and I will continue to exercise every day. I will track my food, and I will try to eat as healthy as I possibly can. I am going to enjoy this holiday season, but I am also going to remember that its not just about the food.
What is your plan for December? Whatever you do, don't throw in the towel and turn this month into an all you can eat buffet. Do your best to stay on track. Even if all you can do is maintain your weight this month, then do it! On January first, you will be so proud of yourself for staying strong!
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Today is day 274 of my on track streak!
Yesterday I was feeling a bit overwhelmed about things... worried that I wasn't making progress fast enough, and fearful that people would think I wasn't trying hard enough. I was really stressing about the scale....and I don't even own one, lol. I have a Wii Fit, and I can weigh myself with that if I want to....but I DON'T want to. I haven't weighed myself since September 3rd and I don't have any plans to weigh myself again this year.
I'm glad I posted a blog about my feelings yesterday, because it really helped me to get things off my chest. I was feeling so insecure and stressed, but as always my wonderful Sparkfriends were there for me. Thank you to everyone who commented on my blog. I appreciate your support, encouragement and wisdom.
My Sparkfriends reminded me of WHY I started my streak. It wasn't really about losing weight. It was about gaining health! And you know what? I am a success in that! My health has improved so much since I started my streak. Yes, I've lost weight. I'm not going to say that losing 71 lbs isn't important or that it doesn't matter to me. I am thrilled that I've lost that much weight!
But I'm even more thrilled by how much healthier I am, and by the many non-scale victories I've had. Since starting my streak, so much has changed in my life! I no longer have high blood pressure. I have only had GERD once since March. I am strong, I am flexible, and I have endurance. I rarely have plantar fascia pain anymore. My heart doesn't pound when I walk across the room. My knees don't ache when I go up and down the porch stairs. (I can actually SKIP up the stairs now!) My stomach doesn't touch the steering wheel anymore.
When I wake up in the morning, I don't have that awful feeling of disgust and regret over how much I ate the day before. I wake up with enthusiasm for the day, because I know that every day is another chance to push myself closer to my goal. Some days are only baby steps. Some days are giant leaps! (And to be honest, some days are barely a crawl.) But every day is a new chance to make progress, and every little bit of progress adds up.
So in the end, who cares what the Wii Fit might reveal when I finally do weigh in? Whether I've lost ten pounds or twenty pounds...or even less...I have made progress and I am proud of myself for it. And I am so grateful to all my Spark friends who have supported and encouraged me along the way. You guys rock!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Today is day 273 of my on track streak!
Confession time...I am feeling overwhelmed and a little embarrassed. I'm so afraid of letting people down, and I have been putting so much pressure on myself.
As many of my Sparkfriends know, I started this streak on March 1st, and I stayed off the scale for months. My streak has been about getting healthy, with weight loss as a bonus. I have been eating between 1200 to 1500 calories a day, and also working out every day. Staying off the scale was the best thing I ever did, because it allowed me to not worry too much about numbers. Focusing solely on my heath has helped me to stay on track, because I could see progress almost every day.
When I started my streak, I could barely get through a 15 minute workout! I would be so exhausted, and I'd be covered in sweat...but I felt so good and so proud of myself! I would tell myself "I did it...and now I know I can do it again tomorrow." And as the days and weeks passed, I got stronger and better. My endurance increased, and I was able to add to my fitness minutes. When I weighed myself on September 3rd, I'd lost 71 lbs! But more importantly, I was healthier than I'd been in years, and fitter too. It felt great!
I've had so much support and encouragement from my Sparkfriends, and it has meant the world to me. It has helped me to stay strong and to keep going. But....there is pressure too. I sometimes feel like I'm just not doing well enough. You see, I've been at a plateau for a couple of months now. I am still on track...still eating right, and still exercising. I'm drinking my water. I'm staying active throughout the day. I am switching up my exercise routine every two weeks. I'm not weighing myself, but I can just tell that I have not lost much weight since September.
I'm not discouraged, though. I know that plateau's happen, and I'm willing to keep on working even though I am not feeling like I'm losing weight. After all, I am still making progress. I am still getting healthy, and getting healthy is what my streak is all about. I have NSV's (non-scale victories) fairly often, and I celebrate them. When I am able to do one more pushup than I could before...when I am able to hold a difficult yoga pose longer....when I am able to walk long distances without becoming completely exhausted...when I have more energy and stamina than I did before...I KNOW I am making progress. Even if the weight loss has stopped for now, I know I am healthier than I was this time last year.
But I worry that I will disappoint people. I have said that I will weigh myself again on New Years day, but I sure hope no one will think I'm some kind of fraud if I haven't lost a huge amount of weight by then. I don't want to let anyone down. Sometimes I feel like running away and hiding!
Well, I feel better now that I've gotten that off my chest! I am not at all discouraged that the weight doesn't seem to be coming off because I know that if I just keep going, it will happen eventually. And I know that I am healthy, and that this has truly become a lifestyle for me. I don't want to ever go back to my old ways...eating tons of junk, and sitting around all day. That way was just leading me to the grave. I love my new lifestyle! I feel so much better now, and I will never stop being amazed by that.
So when I weigh in on New Years day, I am going to be happy no matter what the scale says. I just hope no one is disappointed in me.
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