Friday, July 18, 2014
I got up bright and early this morning to go grocery shopping with my youngest son. I had my list written out, and I was ready to only buy healthy foods. No junk!
But as I walked up and down the aisles with my son, it seemed like at almost every turn, there was some "treat" that was calling my name. My determination to stay on track started to fade, and I thought "I'll just buy one treat....and I'll track it, so it'll be okay."
Well, a funny thing happened. As I shopped, I picked up various treats, and then read the nutritional information on the package. And I would say "Nope, I don't want that, the portions are so small and the calories are enormous" or "hmmm, the calories aren't so high, but look at all that sodium!" or "Yikes, too many sugars in that!"
Finally I decided that if I was so concerned about calories, fat, sugar, sodium, etc....then I'd be better off without such a "treat!" I don't want to put garbage like that in my body. Eating junk food isn't really a treat, after all. The real treat is that little bag of Ranier cherries that I got for myself instead...healthy, low calorie, and most important of all, REAL food!
I'm not going to call junk food "treats" anymore. I'm going to call it what it really is... junk!
I'm proud of myself because I didn't buy JUNK food at the store this morning, and that is my NSV for today!
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
When I gave up the scale three weeks ago, I posted an index card on the refrigerator that says TRUST THE PROCESS in bold red letters. My hubby asked what it meant. Well, to me it means that I am going to trust that if I eat right, measure my portions, drink my water, exercise and stay active, I will lose weight.
But it really means more than that. Because I'm not in this just to lose weight...I'm in this to gain health, get stronger and improve the quality of my life overall. I'm 53, and I'm determined to make the rest of my life the BEST of my life!
So for the past three weeks, I've been doing my best to stay on track and to make each day as healthy as I possibly could. I've been eating right and getting plenty of exercise. I wasn't even thinking about weight loss at all. I just kept doing "all the right things", and at the end of each day I felt so strong, because I was sticking with my plan. I haven't been perfect, though. I've messed up a couple of times by over eating. But....when I overate, I didn't use it as an excuse to just keep on eating and eating. Instead, I have been able to stop those binges pretty quickly, and get right back on track. In the past, I would think "Oh, I ate two donuts, might as well go have something else to eat because today is already ruined." But now I think "Those two donuts were okay, but that was way too many junky calories. I'm going to eat healthy for the rest of the day." I'm really proud that I have found the inner strength to stop a binge and get right back on track!
And now I have a great NSV (non-scale victory) to share! Yesterday when hubby and I were in the kitchen cooking dinner, he suddenly grabbed the back of my pants and said "These pants are getting looser on you." Believe it or not, I hadn't even noticed it until he mentioned it! But he was right, those pants were looser on me. Not so loose that I had to keep hiking them up or anything, but there was definitely a little more room at the seat and at the waist!
Once he pointed that out to me, I suddenly realized that I've had some other NSV's, too. Ones that don't show up in how I look, but in how I FEEL. (And to me, thats the most important thing.) I feel stronger now. I have more endurance for my workouts and I can move better when I do yoga. I've even started using heavier weights when I do Les Mills Pump!
I will never have a bikini body, and no one will ever call me a beauty queen or a cougar. (Thank God for that.) But I still feel good about my body. I may not look like an athlete on the outside, but I feel like one, and I'm happy with that. I'm going to keep on doing my best to make each day as healthy as possible, and I'm going to trust that as long as I don't give up, I will continue to make progress.
Wednesday, July 09, 2014
I made a mistake, but I'm glad I did because I learned from it!
When I began my journey back in 2012, I got my starting weigh in, and then I literally threw my scale in the trash. I'm not a wasteful person, but I knew that getting rid of the scale was the right thing for me. I know its not for everyone, but tossing the scale out made it a lot easier for me to focus on my health as opposed to obsessing about my weight.
Some people can get on the scale once a week or once a month (or even every day) and then get on with their lives. Not me, unfortunately. When I get on the scale, bad things happen. I can weigh myself and discover I've lost 5 pounds in one week, and then get totally derailed. I think "oh, I've lost so much weight, I am going to reward myself." And then I start to over eat, and I undo all my hard work. Or I'll weigh myself and find out that I've gained a pound or two. That propels me into an all out binge, to console myself. And no matter what, when I own a scale, I tend to weigh myself a lot. A whole lot...like several times a day. Its just not healthy!
So when I got rid of my scale in 2012, I felt free! And not having a scale made it so much easier for me to make my journey all about health and self improvement. I knew that if I ate right, tracked my food, measured my portions, drank my water and worked out....I'd lose weight. And thats what I did. I made it a challenge to myself to make each day as healthy as possible. Even though I didn't have a scale, I could tell I was losing weight because I was going down in clothing sizes. But even more importantly, I could tell I was getting healthier, and that was so amazing! I'd been obese and unhealthy for a long time, and I'd gotten used to always being tired and achy. But after 6 months of eating right and exercising, I felt like a new person. I decided it was time to weigh myself again, but since I didn't have a scale anymore, I had to do it on the Wii Fit. I was so shocked and thrilled to discover that I'd lost 71 lbs....and I was quite happy to put the Wii Fit away again. I didn't plan to weigh myself again anytime soon.
But as time went on, I started to notice that my clothes weren't getting looser anymore. I was still working out and eating right, but my progress had completely stopped. I know plateaus are normal, so I tried to hang in there until it ended. But it got frustrating, and I started to slack off a little bit. I had times when I'd go a few days without working out at all. Or I'd have binges. Then I could tell that I'd gained weight back, and I'd renew my resolve to get on track. It was just a vicious circle, and I was stuck in it for a year! I eventually ended up gaining back 36 of the 71 lbs I had lost.
A few of my Sparkfriends were suggesting that maybe I should quit being so stubborn, and go ahead and get a new scale. I resisted for a while, but in May I finally gave in. I got a scale, and committed to weekly weigh ins. I had high hopes that this would be what it took to get me back on track for good. But....I was wrong!
After just a couple of Monday morning weigh ins, I realized that getting a scale was a mistake for me. I was starting to obsess about it. I was able to stay off the scale except for my scheduled Monday weigh in, but I THOUGHT about the scale all the time. You might think that having the scale constantly on my mind would keep me from overeating, but it didn't. All it did was stress me out. So after just a month, I decided to stop weighing myself. No more scale for me! I didn't throw it out this time, though. I just took the batteries out, and then put it in a closet. Its just a tool, and someday I will use it again.
But not now. For now, I am back to focusing on my health and on NSV's, and it is working. I am finally back on track and feeling great. For the past 14 days, I have not missed a scheduled workout. I have been drinking my water, and weighing and measuring my food. I haven't been perfect, but I am still proud of how well I've been doing. I re-found my motivation! I knew it was there somewhere, I just had to keep looking for it.
Even though buying a scale was a mistake for me, its a mistake that I'm glad I made, because it reminded me that I am more than a number, and that being healthy is what is most important. For me, this journey isn't about being a certain weight or clothing size. Its about being as healthy as I can.
I had a non scale victory a few nights ago. It was late and I was having trouble falling asleep. I ended up in the kitchen, ready to binge. I got started eating....but I was able to stop myself. Usually, my binges are around two thousand (or more) calories. But this time, I was able to stop after just 400 calories. I stopped mid bite and asked myself "Do you want to be healthy or not?" The answer was "Yes, I do want to be healthy!" And then I proved it by dumping out the rest of the food. I wrote in my journal instead of eating anymore.
I'm never going to be perfect, and I know there will be times when I mess up and get off track. But I'm determined to never give up on myself. I am strong and I am going to keep getting stronger, healthier and better. I will always do my best to be my own hero.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
I haven't blogged much lately, but I know I need to get back to a regular blogging routine, because the accountability of blogging helps me to stay on track.
In May, I went ahead and bought a scale. This might not sound like a big deal to most people, but it was a big deal to me! I much prefer NSV's (non scale victories) to measure my progress. But I've been stumbling for a long time, and a lot of people were suggesting that perhaps it was time for me to get a scale. So I did it, and decided that I would weigh myself once a week. Well after just three weeks of Monday weigh ins, I'd had enough. I found that I couldn't stop thinking about that scale just about every waking minute of the day. It was stressing me out. And even though I THOUGHT about the scale so much, it didn't do anything to help me stay on track. I still had the same amount of good days and bad days as I'd had before buying the scale. The only difference was the stress!
When I first started my journey in 2012, I was doing great. I was getting smaller, stronger, fitter and firmer. I was going down in clothing sizes, and going UP in energy and stamina. After 6 months of being on track, I weighed myself on my Wii Fit and discovered I'd lost 71 lbs.
But after about 10 months of doing well, I started to flounder. I was not making as much progress as before. I was struggling to stay on track. I began to have more bad days than good ones. I hit a plateau, and eventually I started to gain weight. I didn't have a scale but I knew I was gaining, simply by the way I felt and looked, and by how my clothes fit.
I tried to figure out where I was going wrong, but the truth is this....I really wasn't feeling very motivated anymore. I got lazy, and allowed myself to overeat and to skip workouts or not workout as hard as I could. When I bought that scale in May, I found out that I'd re-gained 36 of the 71 lbs I'd lost. Disheartening, but not the end of the world. I resolved to get back on track, and I thought that weekly weigh ins would help. But that wasn't the answer. So I've decided to stop weighing myself. I've packed the scale up and put it away.
I'm going to go back to judging my progress by NSV's. This has worked for me in the past and I know it will work for me again if I am really committed. I'm going back to what worked for me in the very beginning. Not just looking for NSV's, but also focusing my efforts on getting healthy as opposed to getting thin. When I first started my journey, my goal was simply to do my best to make each day as healthy as possible. Somewhere along the line, I lost that focus. I started to think about losing weight instead of gaining health. Of course I want to lose weight, but that will just be an added benefit as I work to be as strong and healthy as I possibly can be. Thats where my focus is now, and I'm looking forward to making progress again!
(Picture of my *mobile* home. My friend Debbie bought me the porch umbrella as a birthday present. Thanks, Debbie!)
Thursday, June 12, 2014
I (purposely) missed my weigh in last Monday.
When I bought that scale in May, I said I would weigh myself once a week. So I got my starting weigh in...and discovered that I was 5 lbs heavier than I thought I was! Not the best news, but I was glad to know where I really was, weight-wise. After weighing in, I got down to business....eating right and working out, doing my best to have a good week. Unfortunately, towards the end of the week, I had a binge. When Monday rolled around again, I dreaded my 2nd weigh in because I knew the scale would be up a bit. Wrong! I'd actually lost .6 of a pound!
Losing that .6 of a pound spurred me on to do even better for the week. I ate healthy foods, I weighed and measured my portions, and I worked out every day except for my rest day. That Monday, I got on the scale thinking that I must have lost at least a couple of pounds, right? Wrong again! I'd gained a pound!
No wonder that when Monday came around again, I was less than enthused about getting on the scale. Yes, I know its just a number, and that the scale is just a tool. But I just did not want to weigh myself. So I didn't. I think that from now on, I'm going to just weigh myself once a month. I know I SHOULDN'T get all caught up in the numbers, but knowing and doing are two different things. So its best for me to not weigh myself so often.
I do have a great non-scale victory to share, though! For Christmas, my hubby bought me Les Mills Pump. It came with a barbell, two 5 lb weight plates, two 10 lb weight plates, and 7 workout DVD's. I started using it on New Years day, but I never got into the rhythm of following the workout plan that also came with it. It seemed like something was always coming up to prevent me from doing the workout. Yes, sometimes I was just making excuses, but sometimes I had real REASONS for not doing it. (Such as when my husband was so ill and then in the hospital with a ruptured appendix.) But after a couple of months of just piddling around with it, I finally did get into the rhythm and started following the workout schedule.
I was doing pretty good with the workout schedule...I started with Pump Basics and moved on to the Pump Challenge....then on to the next DVD which was Pump and Burn. It wasn't easy, but I got through it. Then I tried the next DVD which was Pump and Shred. Its a 45 minute workout and right from the start it was pretty intense for me! I actually couldn't do the whole workout at once. I'd have to pause the DVD at the halfway point and then recover for a few minutes before I could start it back up. I was proud of myself for doing the workout, but my goal was to do it all at once, with no pause in the middle.
On Monday, instead of weighing myself, I said "Today is the day I do that whole workout without stopping!" I didn't know if I could really do it, but I'm a believer in the power of words, so I told myself that I could do it, and that I WOULD do it. So I got started. And when the halfway point came, I was so tempted to stop and rest, but I pushed myself through it. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get through the whole workout, but I told myself "Slow down if you have to, but don't stop!" And to be honest, there were a couple of times when I did have to slow down, but I kept going and I finished the workout! That was my first time getting through the whole Pump and Shred workout, and I'm so proud of myself! To me, that is proof that I am making progress and getting stronger. I'll take a non-scale victory like that any day!
My personal mantra is "Be your own hero!" I felt like a hero when I finished that workout, and I will continue to do my best to be my own hero every day.
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