Saturday, November 30, 2013
Today is day 2 of my on track streak!
Yep, I had to start my streak over, after 47 days. No big deal! Thanksgiving was a special day, and I gave myself permission to indulge a little. It was just one day, after all. Its a long holiday season, and there's no way that I will be perfect during it! I'm not even going to try. I figure its totally acceptable to splurge a little on Thanksgiving, and again on Christmas day and New Years day. It's okay to enjoy a holiDAY, as long as you don't let it turn into a holiWEEK or holiMONTH!
So on Thanksgiving, I ate more than I usually do, and even had some dessert. And guess what? It was delicious! I really enjoyed it. I think I actually enjoyed it MORE, simply because it was a treat, and not something I do on an every day basis. But it felt great to get right back on track the next day, and start my streak over. Now I will keep working hard, and do my best to stay on track until Christmas day...when I'll allow myself to have another little indulgence!
Healthy holidays, everyone!
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Today is day 44 of my streak!
As of today (November 26) there are 35 days until New Years day, and I am feeling so determined to stay on track and to make as much progress as possible in that time. In the past, I would go completely off track during the holiday season, and gain at least 5 lbs...usually more! Then on New Years Day, I would make a bunch of resolutions to start eating right, exercising and losing the weight.
But I don't want to start 2014 that way. I want to make progress NOW! And I am thrilled that some of my Sparkfriends who feel the same way have joined me on a private Healthy Holidays Challenge team. Their support has really helped me to stay on track!
One of the threads on the Healthy Holidays Challenge team is for posting NFR's (Non-Food Rewards.) This thread was inspired by a blog written by my Sparkfriend Susan (PGHP31CK). Thanks Susan!
Last week, to give myself a NFR, I ordered a new workout DVD, and it should be here tomorrow. I sure look forward to getting it! Its a Pilates workout with a mini ball;
You know, its kind of amazing that I am actually looking forward to getting a workout DVD...and that I consider it a reward! I used to be obese, unhealthy, lazy and a couch potato. How incredible it is to me that I am no longer that person! I'm 52 years old, and I'm more physically fit NOW than I was ten or even 15 years ago. And it started with making the choice to get up off the couch and to start working out, even though it was difficult and uncomfortable.
There were so many times when I wanted to quit, but I pushed myself to keep going anyway. It wasn't easy, and there were so many things I couldn't do. But I gave myself permission to be a beginner, and I gave myself time to get better.
I've lost 71 lbs so far and I have about 70 more pounds that I still need to lose. I still struggle with workouts, but I truly accept that my struggles only make me stronger. I am going to keep fighting, and I will do my best to stay on track throughout this holiday season.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Today is day 39 of my on track streak!
I started a Healthy Holidays team and I am blessed that some of my Spark friends have joined me there. We are supporting each other as we work hard to stay on track this holiday season, and to make as much progress as possible by New Years Day. As of today, there are 40 days until New Years Day!
Today on the Healthy Holidays team, we are discussing progress...the progress we've made so far this year, and the progress we'd like to make by the end of the year.
My weight loss has pretty much been at a stand still this year, and to be honest...its my own fault. I have days and weeks when I'm fully on track and doing all the right things. I eat right, I exercise, I drink my water, and I stay committed to being healthy. I lose a few pounds....and then I go off track. I have wasted most of this year losing and regaining the same few pounds, over and over.
But yet...I can also say that I've made plenty of progress this year! My progress might not show up on the scale, but it shows in other ways. It shows in the fact that I am so much healthier than I was before I started my journey. I am fit and strong. I have endurance. That is progress!
I have also learned to love myself enough to make my health a priority. I have almost completely silenced the negative voice in my head that used to tell me "You can't do it." You know what? I CAN do it. I believe that I can do just about anything I put my mind to, and that is progress, too!
My clothes fit better. My body is firming up. I can do yoga...I can move my body in ways that used to be impossible for me to do. I am determined to keep improving, and I don't allow myself to ever give up. I am stronger than that! And yeah, thats progress too!
What progress would I like to make by the end of the year? I just want to keep my current streak going. I know there will be days that are not as good as others, but I know that as long as I have more good days than bad ones, then I am a success. I am worth my best effort!
Monday, November 11, 2013
Today is day 28 of my "on track" streak!
I am mostly a positive person, and I am a big fan of positive self affirmations. But this has not always been the case.
For most of my life, I had a huge inferiority complex. I did not love myself or value myself. My family didn't value me much either. I was always reminded that my sister was the pretty one, and my brother was the smart one. I never felt wanted. I was usually ignored, and I was fine with that because whenever my family paid attention to me, it was usually to say something hurtful. I never felt good enough.
I married my first husband shortly after I turned 18. Then I spent the next 14 years being verbally and physically abused by him. I had no friends, no one that seemed to care for me. I sure didn't care about myself. I was the Queen of self hatred. I never believed that I was deserving of love and happiness.
The years went by, and my self esteem got lower and lower as my weight went higher and higher. Food was my best friend...and my worst enemy. I used food as comfort when I was sad, but the truth was that it was just making me fatter and fatter. Sometimes I would consider going on a diet, but then I'd think "Whats the point? I'll still be me...stupid, ugly, worthless me."
One of my hobbies since 1985 has been penpalling. One day a couple of years ago, a penpal sent me a little card that said "What you say to your mind is your roadmap to the future.
Each word takes you to a specific destination. Make sure your self-talk is positive so it takes you where you want to go."
-David J Abbot
To be honest, it seemed kind of silly to try saying positive things to myself! But the card was very pretty, so I tucked it into the corner of the bathroom mirror so I'd see it every day.
Then in 2012, I'd finally had enough with being obese! I knew I was slowly killing myself with my unhealthy lifestyle. It was obvious to me that I'd have to lose the weight if I wanted to live. But I had so much self doubt! Could I really rescue myself from myself? I'd tried so many diets before, but they never stuck. I felt in my heart that this might be my last chance to steal my life back, so I knew I had to do something radically different this time.
So...why not try positive affirmations? It might help....and it certainly couldn't hurt, right? So I started on March 1, 2012. I told myself "I deserve to be healthy and fit." I repeated this throughout the day. I started working out, and when the workouts got tough and I wanted to quit, I said "I am strong enough to do this, and if I keep doing this I will get stronger."
When I was tempted by junk food, I said "I love my body too much to give it junk food. I love my body and I will eat healthy today!"
Many times when I said these things, I honestly didn't believe them. But I kept saying them. I kept telling myself "I am worth my best effort" and "I love my body and I will work hard to make it better, stronger and healthier every day."
I challenged myself to write a positive affirmation in my journal every day. At first, I struggled with it. Sometimes the negative thoughts would creep in, but I worked hard to push them away. And slowly, I started to believe that I really was worthy! I started to honestly love myself enough to keep working hard to improve myself.
I didn't start loving myself because I lost 71 pounds. I lost 71 pounds because I started loving myself first!
Although I am only halfway to my goal now, I know I will get there someday, because I believe in myself and my strength. I love who I am right now, but I know I can be even better. And because I love myself, I will work hard to improve myself each day...because I'm worth the effort!
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