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January 2013!! Wow, really?

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Is it just me or does 2013 sound really futuristic to anyone else? Can't quite believe it, but then I think this every year I guess!

Anyway, I decided not to make a HUGE long list of New Year's resolutions like I have done other years. I have only one real goal and I think we all know what that is (hint, we're on a diet site) There are of course lots of other things I want to continue working on and improving, but basically life is good to me and there is not much else I want to change, apart from recognising more often just how good life is!

However, I thought that I might do a monthly setting goals type of post, to give me something to work towards! Some of these things are events that I have coming up to enjoy and a simple reminder to myself of exciting things that I have coming my way. Some are going to be weight / diet / fitness goal orientated. Here goes-

Upcoming events this month:
1. My daughter turning 16 (13th)
2. Visiting Paris for the weekend on my daughter's birthday (11th-13th)
3. Going to watch Les Miserables at the cinema (18th)

Other things to do this month:
1. Read! I'm currently reading In Cold Blood, then Les Miserables, which I'll hopefully finish before the 18th, then 2 more books to choose from by the end of the month.
2. Pamper. I got lots of lovely Christmas presents and I plan to make use of all my bath bombs, lotions and potions.
3. Cross stitch. This makes me sound old, but I am currently working on an amazing Batman cross stitch, although I haven't picked it up for over a month.

Health orientated goals:
1. Track my calories EVERY day no matter how good or bad.
2. Stick within my spark calorie ranges for 25 out of 31 days.
3. Exercise. I plan to complete the January jumpstart challenge, so best I get started!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEARTSCRY 7/21/2013 10:33PM

    Hey! I don't know if you remember me but I finally have reliable internet and I'm back. How are you? Hope all is well. Wasn't Les Miserables wonderful?

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LORT-C 1/5/2013 7:18PM

    All goals sound good. Enjoy Paris--our kids grow up so fast.

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LIMAFOXTROT0 1/4/2013 2:39AM

    Woah, weird. I have to finish Les Mis by the 18th too. And I have a strawberry cross stitch patten waiting for me. (:

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ROBYNROSE26 1/3/2013 1:38AM

    Awesome goals, and seriously you don't look old enough to have a 16 year old daughter!!

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MYRTROSE 1/2/2013 8:13PM

    What a cool 16th birthday present! Lucky girl!
I love the goals, best not to over-do it. Keep it simple. I know I always get bogged down in feeling like I have to spend a lot of time on here, and that's part of my excuse to stray from my program.
Maybe I should try the jumpstart challenge. I still haven't gotten off my butt to exercise!

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CHERKYLE 1/2/2013 2:13PM

    I agree - how did we get to 2013!

The birthday plans for/with your daughter sound great!! I am not far behind - My baby will turn 15 in May!!

I love to cross stitch but havent in so long!!

I should have joined the jump start with you - I haven't done ANYTHING in over a month!!!

Best wishes! Keep me posted!!

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New Year's Resolutions 2013

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

1. Lose weight (that is all)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROBYNROSE26 1/3/2013 1:36AM

    You can do it!

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ALIGIRL07 1/2/2013 1:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

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HANDYV 1/2/2013 1:45PM


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starting over, starting over, starting over

Saturday, December 29, 2012

I feel like this is a recurring blog post for me. I disappear for 6 months or so, then come back and make an "I'm back!" blog post admitting how things have slipped further and setting out my goals for the weeks to come.

I started on spark in January 2009 weighing 224lbs, then lost lots of weight that year, gained a bit back the next and the next. I re-started on spark last January 2012 weighing 224lbs again and although the past year has brought losses it has ended in gains and once more I find myself starting yet another January at 224lbs!

I have lots I could say about what I have learnt, or analyse how things went wrong, or how I plan to 'get back on track' but it wouldn't be anything I haven't said before.

Mostly I feel ashamed of myself for putting all that weight back on. I don't often come on spark because I see my old 'successful' spark page staring at me and taunting me with images of my slimmer happier self.

I don't like wallowing in self-pity but that is how I feel. I truly believe that gaining or losing weight is an extremely complex process, more so than I could ever have imagined. It's not that losing weight is hard, it's not, it's really really simple, but long term losing HUGE amounts of weight and keeping it off is complicated. There is balancing what to eat, how much to eat, whether to listen to your body and hunger cues, or stick to a prescribed plan. Do you cut carbs, fats, sugars, or none of the above. Should you snack through the day, eat small regular meals, or 3 main meals with no extras. I have read a LOT about weight loss, diets, foods, nutrition, health and all that goes with it. I have tried calorie counting, reducing carbs, eating a paleo style diet, exercising and a whole host of other not so healthy methods. Yet here I am 4 years later, having lost over 100lbs and feeling great about myself, only to be right back at square 1 and seeing 224 on the scales again. The ironic thing is that it's not even a 1lb difference each January, not 223, or 225, but 224, like the scales are laughing and saying ha, look at all that hard work you've done, for what, nothing, cos you're EXACTLY where you started all that time ago.

I know right now that I am not happy with my body. I am not happy with how unfit I feel when walking around. I am not happy that I don't look so good in my clothes and that I don't fit into most of them. I am not happy with seeing 224 on the scales. I can change this, I know I can, but I want the changes to be long term, not a quick fix and I wonder if I ever really will be capable of doing this.

(Poor me, poor me, poor me, self-pity does not sound good, so I guess it is time to make those changes again)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SFFTCHRISTY 1/25/2013 3:21PM

    I too go away, come back, go away....welcome back sister. Good luck with everything!!!! I have at least 17-20lbs I want to lose - so we'll see if I can make it there!!!!!!!!!

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QUIDDITCHGRRL 12/31/2012 1:18PM

    I agree with the other posters here - be kind to yourself!

Sometimes we get into a rut of self-punishment and self-pity, letting negative feelings and emotions spiral into destructive and defeating behaviors.

Look at your page, take off anything that doesn't feel positive to you, then put some lovely things that make you smile. Practice kindness from the soul out. :)

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ROBYNROSE26 12/31/2012 11:51AM

    I am right there with you, but we want to make the change, and coming back means we're not giving up!

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IMKFOX 12/30/2012 9:22PM

    We've all had set backs - and then had to shake ourselves off and get back on the horse, so to speak. Just remember, we're cheering you on the same way you've cheered us on when we've questioned whether we can do this or how we slid back. You can do this and you will do this. Just keep putting 1 foot in front of the other, with your eyes on the goal you've set for yourself. And we're both on the January Jumpstart Team to kick off 2013 in a great way!

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IXCHEL23 12/30/2012 7:03PM

    You're not alone. emoticon I'm in the same boat and I also feel guilty when I look at my page, and the 'sparkpeople motivator' emblem is on there. I've regained 20 lbs of the almost 40 lbs I lost a few yrs ago, and 20lbs away from my highest now. emoticon
I know what to do..YOU know what to do to lose the weight, it's just maintaining or continuing to lose those last 10-15lbs (the latter is my problem) is the difficulty, challenging part. emoticon
I believe I have a food addiction, and need that immediate gratification that food gives me when I'm upset, stressed, etc. Just as I like to shop unnecessarily then feel guilty and I return the items to the stores. I can't do that with food I've eaten.
(We do know that we CAN eat in 'moderation' as fellow sparker SLIMKATIE does, enjoying what she eats with calorie counting and her running to keep her intake/outtake in check)
A video of hers:
For me food makes me feel good, calms me, when I'm stressed it helps me.. I know that is totally wrong and unhealthy. I've decided with the new year to keep a journal and write my feelings down when I'm upset before reaching for food. I need to find the joy again of exercise as I know the endorphins helped lift my spirits. I also need to think of my priorities such as my children they need a healthy mother, I can't keep procrastinating my good health. I'm going to next week attend a 'Overeaters Anonymous' meeting, being hopeful it helps.

Make a list of how you are feeling now, and how you felt at your best weight/size. Another list with advantages & disadvantages at both times. I find it's very helpful! emoticon

I know emoticon emoticon If you need a buddy on your journey I'm here!!
PS (I agree with JACKES, zumba is lots of fun!)

Comment edited on: 12/30/2012 7:05:10 PM

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JACKES 12/30/2012 6:29PM

    Hi Its great to see you back. I have not been on here a lot lately, have just been catching up on everybodies progress. Like you I have put all and probably more back on, at moment I have not had the courage to step on the scales!! I feel disgusted about myself I feel ashamed when I look at myself in the mirror. Its so frustrating because I know what to do but just can't get myself motivated and just keep putting it off!!
You should not be so hard on yourself you are not alone, if it was that easy sites like this would not exist. With the start of a new year in a couple of days time, we should use this as a fresh start and leave the feelings of regret behind. I have made one small step and have started a Zumba class on a Friday, I was a bit reluctant so start with but its fab!!! Have you tried it? If not I'm sure you would love it!!
Have a great New Year Eve in whatever you have planned!! I am going to be on here a lot more to record how I am doing, so I will be looking forward to seeing your progress and hopefully we can keep each other motivated!!

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WATERMELLEN 12/30/2012 5:58PM

    Like TINAJANE, I really feel your pain and have been there too: as high as 230, and then losing and regaining and losing and regaining -- but I've maintained pretty steadily now since about 2001.

The At Goal and Maintaining: Transition to Maintenance Team is a great resource RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING of weight loss because of course it's about learning how to maintain, not about losing (which, as you say, is NOT the tough part).

In addition, I found Dr. Judith S Beck's book, "The Diet Solution: Learning how to think like a thin person" really helpful. It's a 6 week program to apply the principles of cognitive behaviour therapy to weight loss. Any diet will work: but no diet will keep weight off until we learn how to think like a thin person. She truly teaches the techniques. There is a Beck team here at Spark too.

All best to you. It's absolutely the case that 2013 can be the year you lose the weight AND keep it off, so that in 2014 you won't be in the same place. This is a great place to learn how to keep weight off.

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TINAJANE76 12/30/2012 5:47PM

    Wow, do I feel your pain. I've been as high as 260 and as low as 140 in my adult life and truly understand the pain, frustration and humiliation of regaining all your hard-fought losses. The good news is that it is possible to lose and keep the weight off for good, even if you've failed multiple times in the past. It took me half a dozen tries before I was finally able to lose and keep the weight off for good and there wasn't any magic bullet for me--just lots of trial and error in finding what worked for me and staying connected to my support networks even when times were tough and I didn't feel like staying on the wagon.

You can do it too and I also suggest connecting with groups of people who can give you extra support to maintain your losses once you get back to goal again. I'm a leader on the At Goal & Maintaining + Transition to Maintenance team here and welcome you to come check us out. We've got lots of members who aren't at goal yet, but who want to develop the skills they'll need once they get their so maintenance can become a permanent state for them once and for all.

Good luck getting started up in your journey again. You are worth it!

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TEACHINMOM 12/30/2012 9:46AM

    Hmmm, I just posted the "I'm back" blog myself and I told the husband the other day those EXACT same thoughts! I hate how I feel, how I look, that my clothes don't fit anymore, the stinky styles I buy (VERY hesitantly) now versus when I was 50 pounds thinner. It's a loooooong haul and there's only one way. I want that healthy, long term, REAL fix as well. The lifestyle change!! We've both done it before and we can do it again. Let's both stay here, stay strong and get it done!! (Yeah, I know, it's not just that easy - but WE still CAN!)

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LORT-C 12/29/2012 7:38PM

    First let me say I am glad to have you back. There are not many of us that have not struggled one way or another. I finally re-did my old sparks page off and started again. It was helpful to me. No have I taken it off as fast as I would like--no-but it is working. I have not gotten on the scale since Christmas and waiting until the first but lets make this a successful 2013 together. Hope to see you around lots.

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GREENAPPLES19 12/29/2012 7:36PM

    I am on the same road, I had great success 2 years ago and now am heading straight back to where I started. I never reached a weight I was completely happy with and I think that was the problem, the feeling of never quite having made it. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life, again. But honestly, it is. I can do this and you know you can do this. Learn from your mistakes everyday and DON'T LET THE DEMON BEAT YOU!

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CHERKYLE 12/29/2012 6:34PM

    You have been an inspiration to so many people-including me! I feel your struggle and pain. Like you said, losing is easy, you got that! I have not made it any where near maintenance yet, but i know that's the hard part. I am here for you!

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ME_THE_REMAKE 12/29/2012 5:33PM

  I completely feel your pain! I'm going to add you as a sparkfriend so please message me if you think you could use some support.


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MYRTROSE 12/29/2012 5:14PM

    You're motivated, don't let that negative old rag inside you take this away! You deserve a fresh start!
Comparisons are great if they're motivating, but if you're feeling shamed by those pics, maybe you take them off. If your friend was trying to lose weight, would you paste skinny pics of her everywhere to get her motivated? Treat yourself kindly! You can do this!
My suggestion is to prepare for what lies ahead. There are some great groups out there that can greatly advise you on how to get to goal and how to handle the transition. Start now!

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What I need to do this week...

Monday, May 14, 2012

Last Friday I weighed 15st 1.4lbs or 211.4lbs, my goal is to weigh under 210, so basically a 1 and a half lb loss by this Friday. My weekend was indulgent, so I'm just playing around with deficits and numbers to see exactly what I'd need to do to hit my goal by the end of the week.....

So far -
Friday -636
Saturday +271
Sunday +1431
Monday -620

which is a total of 446 calories ABOVE my BMR, or about a gain of 1/7th of 1lb so far.

Hhmm maybe it's not realistic to hit my goal this week after all. Based on my BMR of 2047 I would need to lose those 446 calories, PLUS another 5250 calories (for 1 and 1/2lbs), so that's shaving off 5696 in 3 days! If I ate 1200 daily calories that would save 847 per day, or 2541 calories. Leaving another 2709 to be earned through exercise - 903 calories worth each day. NOT sure I'm up for that or that it's really do-able unless I attack things like I'm on the biggest loser.

So my options are kill myself working out and burning 900 calories, while eating only 1200 calories each day for 3 days, OR plan to lose only 1/2lb this week and hopefully reach my goal the following week.

To lose 1/2lb I only need to shave off 2196 calories by Friday....and I've just worked out that sticking to 1200 calories with no exercise should leave me with a deficit of 2541, which would equal 1/2lb lost!!

Phew, this blog was basically so I could write down the numbers for myself and work out what I plan to do, but if you read it and made it through all the numbers then give yourself a huge pat on the back and have a rest with a cup of tea :-)

My goal doesn't seem as unreachable now, it might just take me another week!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYRTROSE 5/17/2012 10:41PM

    Hope it's going well for you, and I'm glad you revamped your goals.
It's taxing to try to be perfect, but impossible to be more than perfect!

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KERRYMONIQUE 5/15/2012 8:56AM

    That's a lot of maths emoticon Eek!! You are super-goal oriented and doing a great job. A few days on the lush side of calories is okay because you're getting back on track. Be careful not to swing too far into the other direction - that's a yo-yo waiting to happen, not to mention hard on your spirit and your body. Sometimes we need to adjust our goals - life is ever-evolving and you gotta roll with it sometimes. Great progress overall!!! emoticon

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JAMIELOGICAL 5/14/2012 10:23AM

    Just keep in mind that it's "unsafe" to have a deficit of more than 1000 calories a day. So don't try to overdo it with some crazy combo of extremely low calorie intake coupled with super high calorie burn. That would not be good for you in the long run, even if you do make your weight loss goal for the week.

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KEL_BEL_FX3 5/14/2012 8:56AM

    It sounds like you have it all worked out! Having a plan is always helpful!

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SWAZY33 5/14/2012 8:34AM

    having plan is always a great start to each week :)

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3rd week results and goals for week 4!

Friday, May 11, 2012

Last week's goals were this -

Track foods every day - DONE
Stick within my 1200-1550 calorie range - all except one day over
Allow for treats and higher calories (still under 1550) at weekends - DONE
Meet up at least once with a friend - went out with family instead
Finish reading my book - NO!

My calorie deficits look like this -

Friday 4th -503
Saturday 5th -504
Sunday 6th -664
Monday 7th -120
Tuesday 8th -843
Wednesday 9th -760
Thursday 10th -861

This totals -4255 calories under my weekly BMR, which again should equate to just over a 1lb loss, but I actually only lost 1/2lb, although I don't mind. I know the scales don't always reflect how well or how badly you have done over the week, so it's the general monthly trend that I'm more interested in!

My goal for next week is to lose 1 and 1/2lbs, which would take me into the 14 stones (209lbs) which means a lot to drop into the next stone bracket as this is how we weigh in the UK!

Other than that my goals are all the same -

Track foods every day
Stick within my 1200-1550 calorie range
Allow for treats and higher calories (still under 1550) at weekends
Meet up at least once with a friend
Finish reading my book

Still no planned exercise for me because I don't want to! I am planning on generally moving more during the day though - walking to work, not sitting down on the computer for too long etc.

That's all for now :-)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYRTROSE 5/12/2012 7:26AM

    In my experience, if I have a good week with a small loss it's followed by a big loss the next week. I'm betting that you'll not just cross that 14 stone threshold but be well into it!
Keep it up babe you're doing great!

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PORTIA31982 5/11/2012 8:48PM

    Well done!!

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ROBYNROSE26 5/11/2012 4:59PM

    Good Job!

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KERRYMONIQUE 5/11/2012 8:30AM

    I like your plan girlie! It looks like it was a really good week emoticon I am most impressed with your attitude on the half pound loss - I always get sucked into the perfectionism with numbers and the body doesn't always work numerically! I also like your goals that are not weight loss related and just quality of life related. Very nice! I might have to copy off that emoticon

Keep up the great work! Your numbers look solid, I'm impressed that doesn't include any exercise. emoticon

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TWINSMOMMY607 5/11/2012 8:03AM

    Small steps, great job!

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JACKES 5/11/2012 4:44AM

    Good to see you are doing well and pleased with your losses. I'm about a stone heavier than you at the mo, so working get under the horrible 16st! Its silly when I get into the 15st and under it does not sound that bad!! Hope you have a another good week and get into them 14 stones!!!

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ELISA322 5/11/2012 4:17AM

    Nice job! I think it's great taking one step at a time. Good luck meeting your next goal!

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