Sunday, October 18, 2009
The time: 1999. The place: the track at my high school.
It was 1st semester of my senior year, and I'd put off taking my final required gym class until it was almost too late. I hated PE. It was always a painful experience, being overweight. I'm actually not bad at sports; I played volleyball for years, and was I had already lettered in track and field (although I stuck to the field events only!). I just hated the whole idea of working out against my will in a class full of skinny, beautiful people.
My best friend and I decided to take "Weight Training for Women" and get it over with. We could lift weights, no problem. Wrong. The class SHOULD have been called "Running With the Occasional Lifting of Weights for Women". At the beginning of every single class, we'd hoof it outside to the track, where Mr. Penzinger would give us a 1/4 mile head start before he'd start power-walking after us. If he caught up to you, you'd be punished back in the gym. This man was like 7 feet tall, skinny with the longest legs in history, and could walk faster than I could run.
He caught up to me EVERY SINGLE TIME. It was mortifying.
The thing was, my feet always killed me when I ran, so I was tried to walk reallllly fast. It wasn't the pain I'd get from standing up for an 8 hour shift at the mall, it was specific to one area on the outsides of both feet and it HURT. I'd never had this problem before. Of course, Mr. Penzinger thought I was making excuses, just the fat girl who couldn't pick up the pace. As soon as I got back to the gym and could take my shoes off, the pain would go away. I tried using different shoes, different socks...nothing helped. After this continued all semester, my mom started to get worried that there was seriously something wrong with my feet. She took me to the doctor, who perscribed physical therapy. They took molds, gave me exercises to do, eventually made me custom orthodics and set me free. But nothing really ever worked. I did discover that Nike shoes worked better for me than Adidas (the only two options available in my small hometown!).
For the past 10 years, I've struggled to find athletic shoes that didn't cause me pain and thought I'd just have to live with it. As I continued my health journey, I really wanted to take up running, so I bought a treadmill, determined to push though the pain. It went alright, but the foot pain was still holding me back. Then a couple weeks ago, I was idly perusing my husband's Eastbay catalog, looking at the running shoes, and something caught my eye in several of the newer shoe descriptions, someting I'd never heard of in all my extensive shoe-shopping.
"What's a 'neutral runner'?", I asked him, "Is that somebody who isn't great, but doesn't quite suck?". He laughed and said "No, its about how your foot strikes the ground - if you run on the outsides of your feet, its called over-pronating or something. Neutral is when you run in the middle". Instantly, it clicked in my head. I asked him how I could tell what I was, and he went to the bedroom and pulled out my latest pair of running shoes, turning them over.
"That's easy - you're definitely an over-pronater. Can you see where the outer nubs of the sole are worn down, while the insides aren't?". Why was this the first time I was hearing this? Why, in all my researching and treatments for what the heck was wrong with my feet, did nobody notice this? I had noticed, but didn't know there was a term for it - I always hated watching myself walk or run because I thought I looked so weird as I walked on the outsides of my feet. I'd always thought it was another bummer of being fat. I began researching shoes for over-pronaters and going into stores to try them on.
Let me tell you - its SO HARD to go into an athletic store and identify which shoes are for which type of runner!! I had to go to asics.com and print out their stock list for over-pronaters, and take that to the store to see which stores carried which ones. The only brand of shoe that identifies neutral/over-pronater on the shoe or on the box is Under Armor. I wanted Asics. This weekend, I purchased my first pair of Asics, designed with stability for my over-pronation, along with addional cusioning that over-pronators lack because they don't strike the ground correctly (apparently this explains why I'm also very prone to shin splints!).
I just got done with my very first run in my new Asics - there aren't words! I can feel the difference - I can feel the shoe's construction and how it encourages my foot to strike the ground correctly. Finally, after TEN YEARS of searching, I've found a shoe that doesn't make my feet hurt. I've found the source of my foot pain! My name is Mishelle, and I'm an Over-Pronater. I am baffled that I had to discover this on my own, that nobody told me, that I'd never even heard that word before. I'm assuming that the physical therapists knew this about me - and this was the point of the orthodics - but they never shared this word with me, and the orthodics weren't great anyway! My beautiful Asics are my new best workout friends :)
Sunday, October 11, 2009
About 30 minutes ago, I was reading message board posts, tracking my calories, and getting into the Being On Track mindset. I've been struggling with my food cravings for days now, and I'm trying to stay on top of it. I used one of my 20% off-track days yesterday while I went to a scrapbooking party, but I was on-track for today.
Then my husband comes in the door with 2 boxes of Halloween Peeps for me. He was so proud of himself; he knows how much I love them and they've been out of stock everywhere in Tucson lately. He gives me the boxes, and I should have put them down, but I didn't. I ate them. Not all of them, but 1 box completely and 1/2 of another. The thing was, I really didn't even enjoy them because I was agonizing over their calorie count with every bite! I KNEW I'd have to use another one of my off-track days (leaving only three for the rest of the month) but I couldn't put them down.
Now I feel sick, because I rapidly consumed so much sugar and I didn't plan on being off track today. And I'm scared that I won't be able to meet my Sparktober goals with only 3 off-track days left. But I have to. I WILL. I want to stay on track. I need to stay on track! I have goals to meet by the end of the month and by the end of the year. If I throw it all away without even trying, what does that say????
The peeps have been eaten, another off-track day has already been used. Now its time to move forward. I will move forward! I WILL meet my Sparktober goals. I WILL stay on track 80% of the time!!
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
I haven't been blogging much since I started the Sparktober Challenge on the message boards! I've had a great start to October, and I'm so proud. I ended September on a high note, meeting my goals, and getting my reward. YAY!
My Sparktober Challenge carries over my September goals and adds a huge one for me: tracking and staying within a calorie range. I've done really well so far. I also adopted the 80/20 rule: stay strictly within my goals 80% of the time, and allow for some deviations 20% of the time. I decided to calculate that in days; I can have 6 days this month where I go off of my goals; this will usually mean I've gone over my calories.
I makes me uncomfortable to say "I'll allow myself to go over my calories 6 days this month", I feel like that's bad to even allow it at all. I'm such a perfectionist, and I have to realize that LIFE HAPPENS, going over 1400 calories happens. And like I've mentioned before, I have never ever stayed on track during the fall or the holiday season. Never. Nor have a made a plan, a really solid and do-able plan. So in essence, pre-allowing 6 days of overage is far better than just going at it blind with no plan.
One of my 6 days was my birthday, which was last Sunday. I knew that I'd allow treats, and I had them. But do you know what else I did on my birthday? I WORKED OUT. I always work out on Sunday afternoon, and it felt weird not to work out. I was so proud of myself for sticking to my workout on my birthday. I don't think I've ever worked out on my birthday! I indulged in some treats, but I also stuck with my exercise routine.
If I meet my goals 80% of October, I'm treating myself to either a facial or a pedicure. I'm leaning towards a facial, but I've never had one :) It would be something special. So far, I'm on track for Sparktober. GO ME!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I feel like I've had this huge AH-HA moment recently.......I always used to feel deprived when I turn down treats and actually get excited at the thought of eating as many sweets as I want. But lately, I've felt so awful afterwards, that those thoughts don't appeal to me anymore.
It was so strange this past weekend - I was in a bad mood, I had a package of Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches burning a hole in my freezer, and I knew where DH "hid" my extra box of Halloween Dots. I was ready to eat as much sugar as I wanted. But my mind kept telling me no! Evil Mishelle always used to be in my mind, telling me that eating loads of sugar would be fun and great, but she wasn't there.....Good Mishelle was. I ended up eating 2 ice cream sandwiches (140 cals each, not a big deal) and stopping. My body wanted to keep going because that's "normal" for me, but my mind didn't. I broke into the Halloween Dots later, because I WANTED to pig out and was ignorning what Good Mishelle said, and I ended up throwing half of them away because I just didn't want them.
For me, this is major progress. Yes, I consumed additional junk calories. Yet I really only did it because I felt like I should want to because thats just what I usually do, even though I truly didn't want to this time....I'm sure this makes no sense to anybody else, but it was a huge step in the right direction for me!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Wow - September is almost over already! Not to jinx myself, since I do have 3 days left in my challenge, but I'm going to get to claim my first reward all year!!!
I always set goals of # of pounds lost, and I'll get a rewards for 10, 15, 20, etc.....and I never achieve them. Don't get me wrong, I've made TONS of progress since I started, and I've lost a lot of weight with SP, but I've never followed through with a challenge like this one before. I always change up my plan, or fall off the wagon all together....
So on Friday evening, when I go to Sports Authority to finally get those black/white/pink sports headbands, I'll know its because I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I already have my Sparktober challenge ready to go. I posted it in the SP Challenges message board this time to get some support and see if others were interested. I'm not sure what my reward will be if I make it this time.....still thinking!
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