Sunday, October 11, 2009
About 30 minutes ago, I was reading message board posts, tracking my calories, and getting into the Being On Track mindset. I've been struggling with my food cravings for days now, and I'm trying to stay on top of it. I used one of my 20% off-track days yesterday while I went to a scrapbooking party, but I was on-track for today.
Then my husband comes in the door with 2 boxes of Halloween Peeps for me. He was so proud of himself; he knows how much I love them and they've been out of stock everywhere in Tucson lately. He gives me the boxes, and I should have put them down, but I didn't. I ate them. Not all of them, but 1 box completely and 1/2 of another. The thing was, I really didn't even enjoy them because I was agonizing over their calorie count with every bite! I KNEW I'd have to use another one of my off-track days (leaving only three for the rest of the month) but I couldn't put them down.
Now I feel sick, because I rapidly consumed so much sugar and I didn't plan on being off track today. And I'm scared that I won't be able to meet my Sparktober goals with only 3 off-track days left. But I have to. I WILL. I want to stay on track. I need to stay on track! I have goals to meet by the end of the month and by the end of the year. If I throw it all away without even trying, what does that say????
The peeps have been eaten, another off-track day has already been used. Now its time to move forward. I will move forward! I WILL meet my Sparktober goals. I WILL stay on track 80% of the time!!
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
I haven't been blogging much since I started the Sparktober Challenge on the message boards! I've had a great start to October, and I'm so proud. I ended September on a high note, meeting my goals, and getting my reward. YAY!
My Sparktober Challenge carries over my September goals and adds a huge one for me: tracking and staying within a calorie range. I've done really well so far. I also adopted the 80/20 rule: stay strictly within my goals 80% of the time, and allow for some deviations 20% of the time. I decided to calculate that in days; I can have 6 days this month where I go off of my goals; this will usually mean I've gone over my calories.
I makes me uncomfortable to say "I'll allow myself to go over my calories 6 days this month", I feel like that's bad to even allow it at all. I'm such a perfectionist, and I have to realize that LIFE HAPPENS, going over 1400 calories happens. And like I've mentioned before, I have never ever stayed on track during the fall or the holiday season. Never. Nor have a made a plan, a really solid and do-able plan. So in essence, pre-allowing 6 days of overage is far better than just going at it blind with no plan.
One of my 6 days was my birthday, which was last Sunday. I knew that I'd allow treats, and I had them. But do you know what else I did on my birthday? I WORKED OUT. I always work out on Sunday afternoon, and it felt weird not to work out. I was so proud of myself for sticking to my workout on my birthday. I don't think I've ever worked out on my birthday! I indulged in some treats, but I also stuck with my exercise routine.
If I meet my goals 80% of October, I'm treating myself to either a facial or a pedicure. I'm leaning towards a facial, but I've never had one :) It would be something special. So far, I'm on track for Sparktober. GO ME!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I feel like I've had this huge AH-HA moment recently.......I always used to feel deprived when I turn down treats and actually get excited at the thought of eating as many sweets as I want. But lately, I've felt so awful afterwards, that those thoughts don't appeal to me anymore.
It was so strange this past weekend - I was in a bad mood, I had a package of Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches burning a hole in my freezer, and I knew where DH "hid" my extra box of Halloween Dots. I was ready to eat as much sugar as I wanted. But my mind kept telling me no! Evil Mishelle always used to be in my mind, telling me that eating loads of sugar would be fun and great, but she wasn't there.....Good Mishelle was. I ended up eating 2 ice cream sandwiches (140 cals each, not a big deal) and stopping. My body wanted to keep going because that's "normal" for me, but my mind didn't. I broke into the Halloween Dots later, because I WANTED to pig out and was ignorning what Good Mishelle said, and I ended up throwing half of them away because I just didn't want them.
For me, this is major progress. Yes, I consumed additional junk calories. Yet I really only did it because I felt like I should want to because thats just what I usually do, even though I truly didn't want to this time....I'm sure this makes no sense to anybody else, but it was a huge step in the right direction for me!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Wow - September is almost over already! Not to jinx myself, since I do have 3 days left in my challenge, but I'm going to get to claim my first reward all year!!!
I always set goals of # of pounds lost, and I'll get a rewards for 10, 15, 20, etc.....and I never achieve them. Don't get me wrong, I've made TONS of progress since I started, and I've lost a lot of weight with SP, but I've never followed through with a challenge like this one before. I always change up my plan, or fall off the wagon all together....
So on Friday evening, when I go to Sports Authority to finally get those black/white/pink sports headbands, I'll know its because I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I already have my Sparktober challenge ready to go. I posted it in the SP Challenges message board this time to get some support and see if others were interested. I'm not sure what my reward will be if I make it this time.....still thinking!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Ugh. I made the mistake that everybody knows not to make: do not let the scale effect the way you feel about yourself. I have a doctors appointment next Wednesday, where I know I'll have to face The Scale. I wanted to be prepared for what I'd see, and I was feeling cocky. After doing so well for what felt like so long, and also feeling like there was NO way I hadn't already dropped 5+ pounds, I decided to hop on the scale. I knew it would be great news, and it would only motivate me more.
I was so wrong.
The first problem was that I hadn't weighed myself at the start of my September Challenge because I was afraid of what the scale would say. I had my own assumptions of where I was at the start, but who knows how accurate that was. I was expecting to see something in the low 240s. So when I saw 251 on the scale, I think my eyes bugged out of my head.
I was very disapointed to see that I wasn't where I felt I was, or where I should be. But honestly, I have no idea how much weight I'd loss because I don't know where I started. I just know my expectations were very different than reality. Then I had to check myself, that I'd only been on my September challenge for about 2 1/2 weeks; and while that felt like forever, its not like I could have lost 20 pounds already. So I just had to move on, decide to keep meeting my goals instead of drowning my sorrows in junk food.
I really hate the scale, I really should never use it. I was feeling SO GOOD about myself, I felt the progress I'd made. Not just in my head, but my body felt better. Then I allowed that one stupid number to let it all crash down around me. I need to learn to let it roll off my back!!!
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