Saturday, October 26, 2013
Wow, I have really been struggling for the past week or so, at least I felt out of control with my eating. I won't go into great detail but I honestly felt like I was overdoing it. I was tracking most of the stuff, not everything, I ate and it was too much. I also didn't walk as much as I thought I should have.
But, despite all of that, I lost one pound each of the past two weeks. I honestly thought I would gain.
I do know that I have been eating much cleaner than I used to... no junk food, no diet soda, I have been cooking at home, simple food like beans, rice, homemade soup, oatmeal, mostly... So I think that is what made the difference. I'm just guessing here. Maybe I just FELT like I ate too much.
I know I have a fairly distorted relationship with food, satiety, hunger and in general with how much I should be eating. This has been a problem for me for many, many years. Also I am very hard on myself.
I am probably just overthinking this again... I lost weight and I'm going to be happy about it!
And I'm going to continue on and try my best every day and stop beating myself up!
Monday, October 21, 2013
Thought I'd just jot down what I'd like to do this week, making lists helps me so much!
1. Walk every day
2. Track all of my food every day
3. Drink 64 oz of water daily
4. Start on my Halloween costume (I'm making a papier-mache pumpkin head mask)
5. Paint some Halloween rocks
6. Post on Spark People daily
7. Get started with the Beck program (Beck Diet Solution, a cognitive thinking program for losing weight)
I am feeling pretty good. I ate too much yesterday, so I will do better today!
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Today was a pretty good day, despite me being in a crummy mood. My schedule was different, which threw a monkey wrench into everything, but despite that, I was on track with my eating and exercise. Yey! I decided I really need to turn it around, and not let the idiots and mean people get me down. I have to take care of myself. I have worked too hard to start gaining weight back.
The weather here in Oregon has been absolutely beautiful lately... crisp but sunny and dry, my favorite. Perfect walking weather. All of the leaves are turning such beautiful colors, so getting out for a walk really helped. I need to appreciate and enjoy the good weather while we have it... It won't last long!
So here is to another good day tomorrow!
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
First of all I want to thank everyone for the great, supportive comments on my last blog!
I feel a little better and I am still trying to get back on track... it's going okay, but not great.
I went for a walk and have been drinking my water today, which is good, baby steps. We won't talk about the giant burrito I had for lunch...
Tomorrow is another day, another chance to turn it around, and I can do it!
I WILL NOT GIVE UP!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
The other day I had to make a very hard decision and it has left me very depressed. My sister's husband has been a jerk to me since they got married, but lately his drinking and moronic behavior has gotten much worse, and he has finally crossed the line. Friday night I went out to dinner with them, and he was drunk as usual, and he started berating me, calling me "the WORST person", the meanest Aunt, saying I was scaring the kids by answering their questions about Frankenstein... He actually slapped my butt in the parking lot saying I needed a spanking. And it wasn't playfully. This follows an incident a few weeks ago where someone from the restaurant called the police on him for spanking my nephew, and he almost got arrested. Made for a lovely dinner, as you can imagine.
I just can't take it anymore. I love those kids to death, but I cannot stand their father. He is a drunken idiot. There, I said it.
So, I have decided to remove myself from the situation and no longer babysit for them or visit, unless he is not going to be there. I am also removing myself from the kid's Halloween party I had planned. This is very, very sad for me, but I feel I have to make a stand. My sister has got to do something about her situation... and I can't make her.
It has left me very depressed. The highlight of my week was babysitting and interacting with the kids. But life is too short to put up with this crap.
SO....yeah, I have been eating too much and I laid on the couch all day yesterday and most of today. I am supposed to be starting a challenge as of last Saturday and I am finding it hard to get enthusiastic about it.
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