Tuesday, February 05, 2013
For the past month I've not been doing well with eating or exercise. I could list all the reasons but that's all they'd be. Reasons aren't helpful. Motivation is, and I've lost that momentarily. But I don't feel like giving up. I don't know what it means to keep going but I'd kinda like to find out. I'd at least like to start getting some exercise again. I walked yesterday and climbed stairs (out of necessity, and got winded) today. Tomorrow I'd like to walk again, just one mile. Friday if the weather is good I'll go to the indoor pool. (Yeh, weather does affect my ability to get there and it's being open or not.) That's my start. That's all I've got right now but it's something and it's in the opposite direction of giving up. So I'll take it. I would add, "I wish this weren't so dang hard" but complaints are a waste of energy that could be put to much better use. :) (Yeh, still smiling. Weight loss may not be going well but life is so good and I'm thankful.)
Friday, January 04, 2013
I've finally solved a dilemma. Most of my overeating has taken place at night, and largely because I couldn't make my schedule work with a healthy dinner.
Here was my situation:
(1) I get hungry around 6pm.
(2) I teach classes most evenings, starting at 6pm.
(3) I'm working before class time and don't feel like eating dinner yet.
(4) What I really enjoy is unwinding after class with a good meal and a movie ... but 8:30 is a long way after lunch.
I knew I could snack but I've never been a big snacker. I enjoy eating a nice, full, leisurely meal.
Because of this dilemma, every day, from late afternoon to evening, I was in a freefall. This led to desperate, chaotic and poor food choices, caused me to feel miserable, and often resulted in my eating more than one full dinner ... which really put on the pounds!
So ... here's what I finally figured out.
I usually start dinner with a salad. I thought maybe I could have the salad really quickly before class and enjoy the rest of my dinner later. That's not quite enough to sustain me. So I decided to drink a cup of soy milk with the salad. Yay! It works!
I've tried it the last two night's and thoroughly enjoyed both meals, felt energized for class, and had no desire to overeat or make desperate and bad choices.
Dinner dilemma solved. I'm so psyched! :)
Monday, December 31, 2012
I was reading the SP article today, "Take the Stress out of Weighing In" by Dean Anderson and a light bulb came on. It's a great article; I recommend it, especially if you've gone through any scale anxiety like I did recently (see my previous blog post). The author mentions how the number on the scale simply represents what a person weighs at that moment. How amazing is that! I can't count all the times I've stepped on the scale, looked at the number ... and I'm off and running with this dialogue in my head of all the things I think that number means. When really, it just means that's what my physical body weighs at that moment in time. Wow!!! FREEDOM!!!!!! It all comes back to the same thing: If I'm doing what I should be doing, it shouldn't matter what the scale reads on a given day. The author goes on to talk about how the scale can be a helpful tool over time, and I agree with that too. But today, I am reveling in the freedom from the tyranny of the scale. The number just means that's what my body weighs at that moment. If I know I'm doing the right things, and I'm feeling healthier and stronger all the time, the number can't take that from me. Woohoo!!!!! :)
Friday, December 28, 2012
I just learned another lesson and I'm blown away.
It's been three weeks since I weighed myself. Three weeks of being sick and injured, which put a dent in my exercise schedule ... as did the holidays. Three weeks of being surrounded by Christmas goodies ... and not saying "no" to all of them.
I was afraid to get on the scale again, afraid to see the damage I'd done.
However, unhealthy fear is something I don't allow in my life anymore. Fear like this has always been my downfall. I'll put off doing something because I'm afraid, only to find out later that if I'd just done the thing I was afraid to do, everything would've been fine. By delaying, things get worse, and the fear becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This is exactly what derailed my weight loss in the past. I messed up. I made an assumption (never make assumptions) that it was too late. And I gave up.
NOT THIS TIME!!
I got on the scale today. Even though it's midday and I normally weigh in the morning before eating. I got on the scale because I wanted to send Fear packing! I needed to know where I am so that I can just keep on moving forward.
I'm blown away. In the three weeks since my last weigh-in I've lost one pound!
I don't know how. Must be the grace of God. My only hope was that I hadn't regained all of the 12 pounds I'd lost since the beginning of November.
Turns out I didn't regain any. And I lost another one.
I'm thrilled! About the weight, yes! Even more so, I'm thrilled that I defeated fear by stepping on the scale. That was huge for me, a big turning point.
This is the first time in my 20-year history of weight-loss attempts that I'm still standing on the other side of a difficult month. Not just standing, but taking the next step forward. Have you ever swum through breakers out to a sand bar? You know that moment when you know you've pushed through the waves pulling against you and that you'll find footing soon? That's how this feels. I've reached the first of many sandbars on this journey and it feels amazing. I've never reached this sandbar before; I've always turned back. Woohoo!
I give God credit first for every kind of healing and breakthrough in my life. But I also know that all of you in the SP community have played a huge role in this, just by being here and by continuing to show up. You've inspired me to do the same. Y'all are making a huge difference for me. Y'all are why this is finally working for me.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Whenever I've tried to lose weight before, I always focused on the end goal. I got discouraged whenever I did anything that pulled me from that goal. No wonder I never reached that goal.
I've been reading a lot on SP lately about focusing on small steps that add up to bigger steps and that impact other areas of healthy living. That sounds less overwhelming than focusing on a long-term goal. It also sounds like the only way to achieve that long-term goal.
I think too about what will happen when I reach that goal. If I reached it by obsessing over it, I don't think the end result would be sustainable. But if I reach it by spending the next year taking one small step at a time, then I can reach my goal weight and sustain it by those same steps.
So ... I'm going to start today with something as simple yet powerful as vegetables. I know I need to eat more of them. When I eat them, I feel better and less hungry. I'm less inclined to snack on not-so-good things. I don't crave vegetables (the only time I did was right after surgery 4 years ago, when my body knew exactly what it wanted and needed). But when I eat vegetables, I enjoy them more than I ever think I will. So ... I'm starting with one small goal. I'd like to eat 2 servings of vegetables with dinner, and make that something I look forward to every night. THAT sounds manageable and actually sounds like an enjoyable thing to do.
I know that eating these 2 servings of vegetables every night will set out the stepping stones on the path to my long-term goal. Instead of wondering how I'll ever get there, now I know ... I've got the first set of steps laid out.
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