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day 4

Friday, October 01, 2010

today was more wiring, insulating, setting up appointments with drywall guy, flooring guy, starting in on rrof vent for fan,,
Monday and tuesday are drywall, thursday is florring guy here to place underlay, Friday is prime and paint day, Oct 11, the following MOnday, is hanging cabinets,
Pooky's doctor called while I was at the salon for a cut:Pooky's ashes are ready for us to bring home..
had to hear that message when I walked in the door..


we have no power in kitchen at all, microwave in living room keeps snapping teh circuit breaker, crockpot cooked us a trukey breast , ON TOP OF THE WASHER IN THE BASEMENT.. I carried it upstairs and it is on the floor in the kitchen,, we are sitting here in the dark so micro will finish our dinner!

back to moms tomorrow, buy paint and supplies, order new draperies for living room and look for new drapes for patio door,,,

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBIEANNE1124 10/1/2010 10:05PM

    Ya could have cooked in moms stove or oven. (runs)

It will all be done soon and your power back on hopefully.
Enjoy your weekend.

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BECKA525 10/1/2010 6:03PM

    Been there done that. Hang in there it will be worth it when it is done.

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DOLE10 10/1/2010 5:58PM

  emoticon

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Day one

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Everything is out of kitchen, some soffits are gone, but dan is bringing his grinder tomorow to get it done more efficiently, space for my 15" cabinets above refrig is cut out of wall..
got to get rid of old stove,,

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OCTOBER2842 9/28/2010 7:28PM

    Great project to keep you going and having something to look forward too

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DEBBIEANNE1124 9/28/2010 6:55PM

    Have fun and don't work too ahrd.

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NORASPAT 9/28/2010 6:26PM

   
YaY Linda---

Tomorrow !!!!!,


Woo hoo, its time to get it done. keep us posted, and can you take some pics too, I do hope so Pat in maine. wou;d love to see your drem come true kitchen Pat

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cannot sleep again

Sunday, September 26, 2010

upset that I am alone without my Pookster, not comfortable doing OUR walk at 3:30 am alone,,
started to tear up old flooring yesterday, got one third of the room done, discovered that there are two layers of linoleum, one of underlay,, on top of the subfloor, so called Dan and he told me to just let it lie, he would finish the floor.. today is emptying the remainder of the cabinets, hauling it all to the basement, organizing the conter inthe basement with our everyday needs for the nest month, microwave on cart is plugged in in the living room, IN MY FRONT WINDOW!
dining table in there also, along with a chair,, 2 captain's chairs in Lodge room, one in my bedroom next to the bed..

Something I have looked forward to for 25 years,(this new kitchen,) is now just a chore.. wish I could get excited about it like I have been for years,,

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 9/27/2010 7:12PM

    Try immersing yourself in the progress of your kitchen renovation. Redirect the energy that lies within . . . Are you taking progress pictures so that you can look back to see how far you have gone?




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KILLERANGEL47 9/26/2010 9:36PM

    Don't worry, it wll get done smoothly. Getting kitchens redone is always a hassle. We had our kitchen done too and we had to take EVERYTHING out, including the sink! It made a great big mess. But we got it done. Soon you will have a nice new ktichen to enjoy. emoticon emoticon

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DEBBIEANNE1124 9/26/2010 1:26PM

    emoticonHopefully it will get better in time.

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HADYDADUBR 9/26/2010 11:30AM

    Give yourself time....the excitement will come back.
emoticon

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NORASPAT 9/26/2010 10:56AM

    It's always a mess and a stress but once it is all accomplished you can relax in it.
It seems as long as I have been reading your blogs it has all been very hard work and stressful. Hopefully you will have your home in order to enjoy it through the holiday season and winter.
You are still mt special person Linda, I truly hope this all comes together soon, Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GEMINI-SKY 9/26/2010 9:58AM

    I DON'T want to be your neighbor. (Microwave in the Front Window ! ! ! ) LOL
When we did our addition,(that I could not wait for) All I did was complain. We lived in saw dust, drywall dust, paint fumes, electricians, plumbers ad nausium....for 1 1/2 years. When we were DONE, I was at a loss. I got so bored that I thought I'd go crazy. BUT, I LOVE my addition(Kitchen, Family Room, Master Bedroom and Master Bath) The picture on my page is the porch on the family room/ kitchen.
Any Hoo, It seems that anything worth while usually ISN'T Easy and we appreciate it even more...
AND YOU DID IT ! ! !
Thank you for the comments on my pictures and you can be my neightbor any time...
Hell, Come on over for a cup of coffee ! ! !
OXOX


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COOLGRANDMA03 9/26/2010 9:41AM

    Take one day at a time. It will be exciting when its done.

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MISSWINGS1 9/26/2010 7:29AM

    It's much more fun to plan renovation than to actually do it. We've done three: kitchen, master bath and guest baths and kitchen floor again. Each one with a different person/company. Te last one lasted the longest because the workers tore up our wood floor and it took twice to fix it properly. That lasted from early November to after Christmas and was a mess many times over. We have learned somthing each time. The third time we stayed in our room over the garage to avoid fumes, dust, etc. No, it's not pleasant DURING construction, but afterwards... It's sort of like childbirth!

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FATHINSN 9/26/2010 6:52AM

    that's impressive, doing your house job by yourself, not hiring other people to do it. The nearest thing I know DIY is helping my dad do his DIY, hehe.

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SLIMTHICK2 9/26/2010 5:55AM

    I've had the renovating stress experience, and I can't stand it emoticon, but focus on the joy of having your place the way you always wanted emoticon this will pass soon enough and you'll feel emoticon.
Enjoy the rest of your day.

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From the bottom of my heart,,

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Thank you to all my wonderful spark friends who took time out of their lives to comfort me in a time of profound sorrow,, Still not easy, still crying, but still going on.. Bless your hearts

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSEWCI 9/24/2010 8:06PM

    emoticon

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KILLERANGEL47 9/24/2010 7:54PM

    You are very welcome! emoticon We are all here to support you during this difficult and painful time. emoticon emoticon

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TERRIEJO53 9/24/2010 7:41AM

    Lin ... I'm so very sorry for your loss. I've been there and it's not a happy place. Like you, I held both of my furry son's during the procedure. They both went peacefully and it was their time. I know that in my heart because they each told me so in their own way.
emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/24/2010 7:42:12 AM

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OCTOBER2842 9/24/2010 6:06AM

    You are special to me and a good Spark Buddy, and I don't like to see you hurting. When you are hurting we hurt too. Take care and have a relaxing weekend. emoticon

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HADYDADUBR 9/23/2010 9:59PM

    I know it isn't easy. Give yourself some time to grieve.
emoticon

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NORASPAT 9/23/2010 7:27PM

    LINDA,I am so thankful you are handling your loss so well. Grieving is needed to help recover from the loss and pain. Take care of yourself, stay in touch. You are Special to me Pat in Augusta Maine

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GEMINI-SKY 9/23/2010 7:04PM

    Bless You and Big, Big Hugs....
OXOX
I wish I could share a cup of Coffee with you and make it all Better.
emoticon

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DEBBIEANNE1124 9/23/2010 7:00PM

    Blessings to you, too, Linda.
It's hard but you will be alright.
Even though I didn't know Pookie he was in my heart through you./

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Empty house, empty heart,, broken heart.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Yesterday was a very hard day.. We gave our little Pooky Bear back to her Maker. My poor little baby girl was filled with fluid, a tumor, could not see well, hear well, could not walk, was having problems breathing,, so I did something I said I could never do: I ordered her euthanasia.
We stayed with her to the end, praying she would not hate me, I held her in my arms lovingly, guiltily, and painfully, stroking her , whispering to her, massaging her to relax her, but once the anesthetic was injected, she was out of her misery in 5 seconds. I am completely overwhelmed with grief, could not function at work today, they sent me home early, for me to drive in my driveway only to see that her trusting face was not there in the window to greet me and wait for her treat, something she did every day for 11 1/2 years, unfailingly.

Growing up,. my dad made the decision for our dogs and I was out of town.
I have never felt so much profound grief since my aunt died,, even when Dad died with ALzheimer's, I was so happy for him to know that his wishes were being observed, but this, this is a gift to us to give us love, trust us, unconditional love, and having to control that life, makes me feel like a sneak, a betrayer, even in my head, I know she needed to leave her pain, my heart hurts so much, my BP is sky high, my blood sugar is off too.. I am a big baby when it comes to uncontrollable pain and deaths..

I will never be the same person again......
My 15 year old Pooky Bear licked my tears off, nudged me when I was sick, and listened to everything I dumped on her,, loving me all the time,,

I rescued her at age four, with all her health problems, spent many hundreds of hours medicating her, and at the vet, diapers, teeth removal, infections, thousands of meds, but 11 1/2 years of doggie joy that is now gone..




  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COOLGRANDMA03 9/24/2010 6:05PM

    I am so sorry to hear this! You gave her a good life and loved her.

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ASPENHUGGER 9/24/2010 11:06AM

    I'm so sorry, and I know that ache of an empty place all too well. She doesn't hate you, she's grateful to be out of pain and running in the sunshine.

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Love you, Pickie
emoticon

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JOHAL52 9/24/2010 9:32AM

    Oh Lin, I am SO sorry I missed these posts!!!! I understand how you feel and wish I could be there to hold your hand.

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CHLOE453 9/23/2010 6:35PM

    There are no words right now for me to really say other than you were an excellent mommy and she passed being loved so much. emoticon emoticon

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CINDY1TWO3 9/23/2010 9:51AM

    I am sorry about the loss of your pet. That is a very hard thing. We had a cat euthaniazed after 18 1/2 years and a dog that left us after 12 years. It takes time to recover, just don't use food as a replacement. Remember you did it to ease the pain she was in, not to hurt her, and she is no longer in pain! emoticon

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STEMON 9/23/2010 8:36AM

    Probably the hardest thing an animal lover ever has to do it to make the decision to release a beloved companion when the time finally comes. For those of us who surround ourselves with lives shorter than our own, there is always a feeling of betrayal and guilt - have we done enough? You have done every possible and maybe a bit more. May it ease your grief over time to realize that Pookie was ready, and that you gave her the best possible life for her time here with you. emoticon

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OCTOBER2842 9/23/2010 6:05AM

    So so Sorry, but she is out of her misery and will still always be with you, memories are great. emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/23/2010 6:06:07 AM

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KILLERANGEL47 9/23/2010 12:51AM

    I'm sorry for you have to go through this. emoticon But you have no reason to feel guilty. emoticon You did the right thing, even though it was and is very painful for you, it was the right thing to do for her and it saved her a lot of suffering. There comes a point where it is just way to cruel to let a beloved pet suffer like that and the best thing to do is end his/her pain. She does not hate you and she knows that you have and will always love her. Just remember the over 11 years of love and joy you have given her. emoticon emoticon

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GEMINI-SKY 9/22/2010 10:35PM

    I think Joy said it All and Beautifully...
I know your pain and I can only say that Pookie was so loved and so thankfull she came into your life. To share her fun times and for you to take care of her health issues. What would she have done without you...The loveand Trust you 2 shared as you looked into eachothers eyes is a Joy You can hold onto Forever.
Hugs to you.

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HADYDADUBR 9/22/2010 8:54PM

    So Sorry for your loss.
Healing takes time.
I will be thinking of you.
emoticon

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WYOBZM 9/22/2010 8:06PM

    You always did what you thought was best for her. It is such a sorrowful and painful experience. I am so sorry for your loss and grief. Keep crying and the healing will come in time. You are in my thoughts. emoticon emoticon

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JOYSGARDEN 9/22/2010 8:05PM

    Pooky knows you loved her, and your final act, allowing her to rest, without pain, was the ultimate act of love for her. I know how your heart is aching tonight, but if she were still here, she'd bite you in the butt for not taking care of yourself. So to honor her, and the love between you, do take care of you. You took care of her for 11 1/2 years, years she might not have had without you coming into her life. So grieve, remember her with love, and take care of yourself. Remember the funny things she did, the silly things, and know she is running around, playing, healthy, and will meet you at the Rainbow Bridge some fine day. Hugs to you....Wish I could deliver it in person, but this will have to do for now... emoticon

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SHARON10002 9/22/2010 7:42PM

    "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. "
~ Anatole France

I am so sorry that you had to experience this. Take comfort in the fact that Pookie is in a place with no pain, and hold the happy together times close to your heart.

Healing from grief is not the process of forgetting, it is the process of remembering with less pain and more joy." ~ Malinda Hill

emoticon
Sharon

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WILLITWORK1 9/22/2010 6:58PM

    what a special, sweet, kind caregiver you are.

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ROSES4UN4ME 9/22/2010 6:43PM

    AWWW That is awful you had to experience that loss...but i do feel your pain i had a hima and he died of a urinary tract infection even after they did the surgery....my daughter and i cried for a week the hurt is just like he was family...some people say oh well its just a animal oh well pets have feelins too but you cant ponder the hurt if your not a animal lover....so hang in there G F and keep yourself busy take it out on the treadmill or elliptical.....

my thoughts are with you

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STARTINGALLOVER 9/22/2010 6:16PM

    You were with her to the end..she was not alone with strangers. You did not make her end her days with pain..but with her beloved family in a safe warm place..your arms. You loved her enough to let her go.. she knows that with all of her heart. You are a wonderful parent .. you knew when her time had come and you can let her go in peace..
You never betrayed her..she loved you, and needed you to watch out for her..so that when she was in pain and sick, she knew you would rescue her from that.
You did the right thing.. she is free from that pain.
emoticon

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HARROWJET 9/22/2010 6:15PM

    I am sorry for your loss. I know there is an empty place in your heart. emoticon

Judy emoticon

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DEBBIEANNE1124 9/22/2010 6:01PM

    i LOVE YOU, FRIEND. dON'T BE FEELING GUILTY. yOU DID ALL YOU COULD FOR HER. lOOK AT ALL THE TIMES YOU TOOK HER TO THE VETS TO SAVE HER AND KEEP HER MORE COMFORTABLE. SHE LOVED YOU AND KNOWS THAT. sHE'S WATCHING OVER YOU. sHE'S RESTING IN PEACE WITH NO PAIN. Oops sorry for the caps.
I'm here if you want to talk you know how to reach me.

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ROSEWCI 9/22/2010 5:58PM

    I am so sorry for your loss.

emoticon Rose

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TBVALEGIRL 9/22/2010 5:56PM

  Pooky Bear may be gone physically, but I'm sure you had lots of good memories.

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NORASPAT 9/22/2010 5:51PM

    Pickie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I cannot think of anything else to say to console you. You need to grieve for pookyI know, but do take care of yourself. PLEASE.

You did all you could for your trusting friend and when you had to let her go you held her tight. Thinking of you with a heavy heart. Pat in Maine.

You are SPECIAL !

Pickie, MY emoticonGOES OUT TO YOU WITH LOVE. Pat.

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