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Pooped out

Monday, September 17, 2012

I was prepared to work my regular hours this morning, but a co-worker need to leave early to take her poor, sick Golden Lab to teh vet, so I stayed an extra two anda half hours. I had forgotten how old my body is and never gave it a thought to say yes when I heard it was for her 11 year old dog, Buddy.
About an hour before I went home, I was wishing I WAS Buddy and getting my head scratched by the vet, even getting ear drops and other meds.
Big joke on Linda, making her old body scream in pain at work..

Yesterday was visiting mother and chewing her out for not elevating her legs on the ottoman I bought for that purpose. Her legs and ankles are still edematous,, but we hauled the ottoman out to the TV room and I stood over her until she did it, then told staff, it is not a choice for her, she WILL elevate her legs to stop the swelling..
doc ordered further blood work today,, I told her she will end up in hospital again if she is stubborn...
Took her some salt sense ,even though she does not really use a shaker,,
it seems like we have a problem with her house or bills or house contents, or insurance,, go through the hassle of that and then she starts doing something.. never one day of no problems..

I told DD to drop me off on a stranger's doorstep if I get like that.. If only we could stop the course of events that make us senile or mean or ill... Dreams.....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAAK 9/17/2012 9:34PM

    get some rest

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NORASPAT 9/17/2012 5:52PM

    LINDA, do you think Mother is doing this to get attention. Does anyone else go in to see her.
Does she like animals, I know our local nursing homes take animals in to let patients stroke them for a while, they say they have good results.
You have to work so there must be some way to interest her in something. Any ideas that you have not tried.
I know how it is I promise you, I was 11 when i looked after my Gran but we did have much in common, I lived with her. No nursing homes around and no-one to come in to help but we had neighbors who helped me out. My Mom had to work and I usually saw her on Fridays. PLEASE take care of yourself, stress and fatigue are miserable bullies to our bodies, we have to avoid them whenever we can HUGS LINDA, take care.

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DEBBIEANNE1124 9/17/2012 5:11PM

    LOL Pleae take good care of yourself.

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BOSS61 9/17/2012 5:07PM

    Aging sucks, it is said. But it also is said that it beats the alternative.

Sometimes old folks benefit greatly just from time spent with them. . Easier said than done in our busy lives, but still...

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22 years

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Yesterday marked 22 years I have been at THIS job. Five more to go. If I had stayed at the hospital(and gone insane) I would have 42 years plus there. It seems like a lifetime, but then, most of my lifetime has gone by, so that is about right!
Life without working, to me , is as foreign as Saturn, or another galaxy.
I started out babysitting three very young children(three weeks, two years and four years) a the ripe old age of ten, for fifty cents an hour,, built up to having about fifteen customers, babysat seven days a week,, all for the same price, some families with eight children, three of them in diapers(no disposables back then) and two of THEM on bottles!! 'I never had just one job at a time either, full-time at one, maybe tow part time jobs on the side..

I saved every penny to buy my cars, clothes, medical care, trips, etc. I still do that today, but for different reasons,, silly things like food, utilities, taxes, medical care, charities.

One likes to think they have lived a noble life, but hopes that they at least touched on the lower end of that nobility by the time they draw their last. I pray that at least my motives were noble and hopeful for the other person.
Sometimes our life gets selfish, in the way of our previous plans, and we end up back-pedaling to catch up to our goals before we meet our Creator. Today I reflect that my Creator knows my motives, my traumatic situations, family background and forgives me for at least one of the three.

Only HE knows if I still have time to pedal that bike to achieve some goals that help others.... if not, then I deserve whatever payment from HIM that I receive... faith keeps me sane...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAAK 9/16/2012 8:14PM

    My first job was babysitting for 35 cents an hour for a family of 5, so I can relate.
I really enjoy what I do so have no plans fore retiring.

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DEBBIEANNE1124 9/16/2012 3:42PM

    I'd give anything to trade places with you and be the one that works the hard long hours andyou stay home and veg.

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NORASPAT 9/16/2012 9:52AM

    LINDA There was no way to earn money in my formative years simply because there was none about. Paid babysitters were non existent. My gran and I used to check on sleeping kids while their mothers did things. Most of the menfolk were not home usually in the pub.
When BINGO came to the Catholic church women flocked there and actually left babies in cribs home alone. It was common place. Kind of like some primitive tribes who leave babies alone even now in foreign countries. I think Americans were raised with baby sitters but in the 1940's in my hometown there were lots of babies since the men came back to no work and no money so they made lots of babies since they automatically got child assistance and of course there was no family planning.
My schools had 40 kids in the classroom with one teacher and you rarely left your desk. Such was life but I knew nothing else since TV was never imagined. HUGS Pat in Maine.
You are a wonderful person and I hope some day we might meet. HUGS Dear emoticon emoticon spark friend Pat in Maine.

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JUDYAMK 9/16/2012 9:00AM

    I have 22 years on my job in Nov will be 23. I cannot wait until I retire I will be 62 this Christmas. As you I started working at a young age.I ache with my back all the time so I cannot handle some days . I push forward only missed 9 hours in a year for illness, I push forward & ask God to help me.Take care

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Saturday, September 15, 2012

So many grand plans for eh day, but fatigue and a half pain pill took over. I did manage to get some things done in the house, but no hedges trimmed today. Got another call from assisted living place.. mother's pitting edema still the same, she refuses to use the new ottoman I bought for her to elevate her legs. She never adds salt to anything, they cook almost naked there, but she is very inactive. I told nurse that if they did not make her be more active, I may have to take steps, however, now, they cannot force anybody to do anything,, shed is lazy and stubborn, as she has always been, so I will have to go out there and threaten her with going back to the hospital,,she hates that.. I told nurse to tell her that I am very angry that she is refusing to move or raise her legs while sitting around doing nothing,, she has this kind of fear of me for some reason,, the roles have reversed I guess,,
she used to beat me and scream at me on a daily basis, now I guess she feels threatened by me...
her doc has ordered some more blood work to see why the diuretic has not worked, but she does not care about anything, so we will see..
I finally get my blood pressure down from work stress, and she manages to perform to get attention again.. my BP no longer goes high from her anymore,,,,

more will get accomplished tomorrow...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LECATES 9/16/2012 9:13AM

    Sounds like she is doing it for attention---yours probably---hope things improve after you go over there.

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NORASPAT 9/15/2012 9:31PM

    LINDA, you can do it I know you can.
I am sorry it has to come to this but it is for her own good for sure.
I wish it was easier for you I really do. I hope you are able to help your mother but sometimes they just want to exist instead of living. It has to be a tremendous effort when the body is not wanting to work.
PLEASE do take care of yourself. HUGS and thanks for your friendship Pat in Maine.

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PATRICIAAK 9/15/2012 6:41PM

    I wish you the best as you work through this.
Can the doctor order physical therapy for your Mom?

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IACTA_ALEA_EST 9/15/2012 6:06PM

    debbie ann made me laugh....but I didnt have the guts to say the same.

I use firm now youre gonna do this, but a lot of nursing staff fear residents will report them to state.

My heart goes out to you. mom daughter dances aint always fun...ugh.

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DEBBIEANNE1124 9/15/2012 5:30PM

    Mama needs a spanking.

Same with R's om. he threatened to not get her any more diet pepsi if she didn't start moving around more and she got active.

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Freakout Friday

Friday, September 14, 2012

Did you ever have one of those days when every person you encounter makes you feel inferior? Or is snarky, sarcastic, and condescending? No matter what or how much or how fast you complete a task, it is not good enough? Today was that select day, more than usual for me. The bad part is, when I get frustrated, angry I feel like crying. I had to force myself to NOT cry for three and a half solid hours, non-stop. It was one of the most physically draining experiences I have had in a long time. I have had this job for 22 years(tomorrow) and each week seems to fluctuate between sheer dread and okay, I will have fun today, kind of thoughts.

I still need to stick around for over five years, so leaving is never an option. It is a highly stressful and physically demanding job, so at the ripe old age of 65 I can retire and still have health insurance.. Otherwise, I would never go back there, never missing a person that works there. Medicare seems SO far away...
I Do meditate every day, I Do pray every day, I do bite my tongue every day, I have made it a practice to say something nice to every single person in the building every day and so far it has made me realize that I want to do this ,I want others to feel that somebody appreciates what they do, no matter how small the task. It started out as a Lenten thing I did ,, now it has become second nature and I love it,,

Today was just awful and the best part was, I started work later than usual and left earlier,, it still was bad..

I am now finished venting, and feel better, not good enough to go back tomorrow(I do not work weekends anymore LOL) It is done, I have purged, I will wipe that slate clean and beat the erasers clean, over the weekend and mark off days until I can have a joyful and peaceful life without a job,, I have worked, for the last 49 years and I can stick this out for another five,, tick tock.. there are people that are way worse off than me, so I whine to vent..

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLEMIDG 9/15/2012 12:57AM

    Sorry to hear about all your problems at work. We are here for you. You can vent all you want. Enjoy your weekend and hopefully things will be less stressful for you next week.
Take one day at a time. I will be praying for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NORASPAT 9/14/2012 7:52PM

    So sorry about the nasty people that is too bad. They are probably not raised to be polite. I am so glad i was raised that way. People who do not have manners are missing out on the kindnesses in this world.

You have to appreciate that you are actually better than they are because you are a much nicer person. I can vent on Spark and mostly I get very good support here that is why I stay with the program. I feel good talking to people I never see but feel i know they are good people. HUGS LINDA, I am here for you if you ever need to vent some more HUGS Spark Friend. Take cared and make sure you enjoy your weekend. Pat in Maine. (((((HUGS))))) emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DEBBIEANNE1124 9/14/2012 3:35PM

    If that was a boss doing this have a talk to that eprson and let them know who you are and what theya re doing.

I hear ya on the stress though.

Hang in there Lin you are strong.

(I get people here on Spark people who get that sarcastic and nasty and put me down all the time) It literally sucks and makes me feel low)

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MYBABYGIRLS 9/14/2012 3:23PM


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Why NOT me?

Thursday, September 13, 2012

I was reading some people's blogs yesterday, read the comments, and some of the blogs were very sad. I have been through what a lot of the people have been through, but I remember thinking back to when I first started maturing when painful things came along. I USED to say and think, "Why me?" Why did I have to go through that pain and heartache, physical pain,etc..?

After about a million years and a LOT of misfortunes, I realized, "Why NOT me? Who do I think I am to even dare to think that I am special, that I am more worthy of protection from bad things or pain than anybody else? It is plain ignorance, vanity and immaturity. I was all three..

There is only one human who was ever that special and He decided to endure more than I could ever imagine, let His mom do the same, and still love me enough to let me grow and learn.
Now I think, "Why did He wait so long to show this to me?"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIAAK 9/13/2012 9:47PM

    I've walked in those shoes, too, and am so grateful He loves me through it.

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NORASPAT 9/13/2012 7:06PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon ((((HUGS)))) Pat emoticon

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DEBBIEANNE1124 9/13/2012 6:15PM

    Miserable people make others miserable. Life is too short for Misery. We gotta smile through it all if we can

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DIANE7786 9/13/2012 5:59PM

    I giggle when people say, "Why me?" in times of adversity but never say "Why me?" when something good happens. It's good to know good and not so good happens to everyone.

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