Wednesday, April 06, 2011
HealthyMe47, this is a response to your blogs about Calah, her "little sister" sorta', through the group Bolder Options.
I just love what you're doing, Laura, and wanted to share some of my experiences, particularly about finances for the needy.
I agree that you are keeping with Bolder Option's guidelines--not spending tons of money on her. This will put your mentorship on a more equal footing.
May I suggest taking Calah to a thrift store for workout clothes? She might be able to afford something there herself. If not, you could get a note from BO explaining the programs. Our YMCA thrift store here has given us BAGS of clothing to take to Guatemala.
Another source of inexpensive clothing is a rich high school's lost and found at the end of the year. They donate that clothing, generally. If you ask at the right time, you could get some clothing for her there. If Calah helps you sort through that lost and found, and haul it off to a thrift store, than she has "earned" her pick of the clothing. (I have done all these things---I am bold and goofy!)
From my perspective, I might encourage an arrangement where Calah paid at least a portion of the cost of the clothing at a thrift store. It teaches her the value of money...budgeting, chosing, etc. And I feel it empowers her as well. Just a thought.
If she has not cash, would it be against BO rules to hire her to do some chores? It could take creativity to set up. If she is not allowed to see your home, you might pick a church where she could do some jobs. This would further empower her, and allow her to value her energy and strength and abilities. It would show her that others value her work, too.
I would go with whatever BO advises, but let me tell you why I suggest work/responsibility...
I am a "Representative Payee" for a mentally handicapped friend, E. This means I receive her Social Security disability checks for her. I keep her accounts, pay her bills, and pay her a weekly allowance from the SS money. Since impulsivity is part of her disability/diagnosis, she has never saved money for long.
Various organizations have handled her money in the past, but charged her for the service--only $25 to $50 per month, but that's a lot for an income of $637 per month!
I don't blame them. But my time is worth more to me, so I donate my time, if that makes any sense! :)
Anyway, that money has added up. Plus I have been very stingy with E. when she is getting manic. So where SS used to give her $100 here, $100 there, when she pressured them for spending money, I made her save.
I also paid off her credit card so she would not owe the HIGH interest. She did pay me back the capital, but I did not want her going further in the hole for interest.
My condition was that if she EVER signs up for a credit card again, I WILL QUIT. Period. She has agreed and has stayed out of debt for several years now.
E. used to get a little frustrated with me when I would not give her random spending money, but we love each other and she trusts me...so she put up with it. Plus she knew I was trying to help her. So I would just joke and tease her out of getting angry. That does not work with everyone, but we have a good relationship.
And eventually came the payoff...she has been without a car for about 5 years. She could not afford the repairs on her clunkers.
Soooo....E. just bought a used car with her savings a few months ago! Another missionary friend, who is a mechanic, found a great deal on a low-mileage but old and half-painted Volvo for E!
She has so much more independence again!
And since that car purchase went through, she has never bugged me for spending money again! Delayed gratification... MAJOR delay....but it had a huge payoff!
Now we are saving up to repair the small rust spots and large area on the hood & roof where the paint has worn off. Plus we keep money back for repairs.
A side benefit? She wants money for gas, so I think she has cut back on her smoking a bit.
What does all this have to do with Calah?
I used to give E. work to do at my house, and I would pay her a fair rate. She could not do heavy work, due to bad knees & back.
Also our church often hires a member who is out of work to do office work or cleaning or yard work.
Once I had a yard sale at my home & let E. sell stuff here. Other times I just gave her stuff to sell from her apartment. That did not work as well. She kept most of the stuff, which she does not need. :) Trial and error!
Odd jobs could give Calah some spending money. She would also have the pride of learning pay-worthy skills. Many young teens do not get this chance. She might even be able to help out her mom a bit.
I may sound harsh and "child-labor-ish." But think how many of our young teens get hired to babysit. Mow lawns. Pet sit. Chances are she does not have those opportunities in her neighborhood. But I believe they are empowering opportunities.
I don't hire E. any more. I became her payee instead, putting her on a better financial footing. Now she cooks for me sometimes to thank us for helping her. This works out really well. She is a great cook. And she always has more food than she can use, from local food pantries. It gives her a way to thank me and to contribute to our family.
That way my work for her is not all "charity." She can give to me as well. It puts us on more equal footing.
Some say that when a beggar receives money, he loses pride, which he hands over to the giver.
I learned a good model of service from Sun Eagle, a Mattaponi Indian leader and poverty minister near here. He taught that giving and receiving should be circular, back and forth.
This is also taught by a ministry called Sister Parish. SP does not allow the N. American church to become Santa Claus to their sister church in Central America. Then they can stay equals, sisters & brothers in Christ.
Instead, SP does a lot of cooperative work. Say the village in Guatemala makes crafts, and friends here sell the crafts in our consumer market. Then that cash goes back for school fees in the same Guatemalan families. Or maybe the village buys a corn grinder, with an interest-free loan from the North. Villagers pay to have their corn ground. The loan is repaid, and profits go for needs of the village.
It sound like BO is already thinking outside of the box. Excellent! If they want to avoid chores for Calah, they know what they are talking about, I am sure. I just wanted to share with you some of what we have done to be creative about finances.
Monday, April 04, 2011
I am missing my favorite blogger, ANN777. She and I have been out of motivation for the last two months.
So I went wild for her today, and for myself. I decided to do things I have never done before.
Today's DOUBLE DOG DARE:
A Masai Warrior Jumping Dance.
Click on the link and imitate. But don't click til you are standing, ready to jump! It takes less than 2 minutes.
What are you waiting for?
#1 To earn this dare, you must chant along with the warriors. Pick a warrior to follow and jump when he does. I am the guy in the tall fur hat. (Mwaaa haaa haaa!)
#2 Respond to this questionnaire:
A. I jumped as high as---(You will win points for creativity, humor, and joint-defying acts.)
B. I sounded like---(Points for species and volume)
C. As a result of my jumping...(Extra points for broken housewares, flights booked to Kenya, runaway pets, etc.)
D. I **Did** or **Did Not** have to stretch my thighs at the end. If not, perform the challenge again! :)
E. My legs do not work, so I performed this with my arms, and looked like....(Triple points here, but only with a doctor's note.)
I have other fun links to send, but 5 people must meet this challenge first. If we really get going, I will video myself challenging ANN777 to all manner of ridiculousness!
Now go click that link! And start hopping!
Monday, January 17, 2011
I have asked myself why I overeat in general, and why I overeat at night in particular.
I have heard several answers that seem to fit:
#1 Eating feels good...It tastes good. It reminds us of earliest memories of when food and survival and Mom were all connected.
Is there something else that can make you feel that way? A good book? A hot, cozy bath or blanket? A toy from childhood--I mean it. Photos from a happy time? Call a friend? (Okay, I know it's late.) BLOG! Get help from friends here--good choice!
#2 I am tired and still want to stay up for some reason, so I go for a sugar boost. After dark I feel less responsibility to get things done, so I like those hours of relaxing. Maybe I am just trying to make those hours longer with a sugar boost.
A tiny bit of exercise will actually boost your energy without a crash. And falling to sleep is helped by exercise a couple hours before bed. Even something small.
#3 I am sad. You and I both know food will not help, but we keep trying it anyway. (See #1--it feels good.)
Solutions: Try something else that makes you happy: singing, dancing (see #2) even if you feel stupid doing it! Stupid is the new cool! :) Laugh at yourself.
You and I are conquering our enemy, "who roams around like a roaring lion, seeking whom to devour." (1Peter 5:8) So laugh at your enemy! He HATES that! It reminds him that we have victory in Jesus.
1 Cor 15:7--"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.")
Romans 16:20 "The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. "
Now that is GOOD news for us and BAD news for overeating! It will be crushed. I want to crush it now while I am still able to exercise and to control my eating. (I have read blogs of bed-bound members who have a much harder uphill battle than I do. Also I have had breast cancer but am healthy now. Now is the time to get even healthier.)
There are lots of lines to tell yourself when you want that stale donut--and believe me, I have eaten more rediculous things!
--Save it for tomorrow if I really want it. I'll have calories to spare then.
--Better yet, promise yourself a tastier one tomorrow. Only one!
--Gotta have it? Count the calories. How much exercise will it take to "buy" that donut. Is it worth it? Then do the exercise before eating the donut.
I am glad I am not in this alone!
I wrote this as a response to ANN777's blog entry
"Seriously, This Night-Eating Really Has to Go!"
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
I am so encouraged to be using this website...particularly to gain the support of other Christians seeking better health! Thank you, all!
God gave me insight today. I feel like He is answering my prayers from November & December when I could see my weight continuing to rise to a past high. I prayed often for His mercy and self control. And now His mercy is all over me and my eating and exercise!
I see it this way lately: self-control is a fruit of the spirit.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. (ESV)
So we do not supply it for ourselves, but gain self-control only by dwelling in the vine. Self control is a fruit we bear by dwelling in Christ:
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
He is actually helping me WANT to eat the fresh foods and WANT to exercise. So I am rejoicing. Please pray for me that it will continue, and I will do the same for you, if you ask.
I pray desperately that this will last...but even as I pray, God is showing me it is not that terrible to be overweight, either, or to be dieting.
On a silly note for newbies like me--have you noticed that when you are first dieting, you get to eat more calories and still lose weight? ;) It makes the first few weeks the easiest. So let's enjoy that, shall we?!
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