Wednesday, October 21, 2009
My last class - the one with the junior thugs - apparently was not well-behaved yesterday, when I was absent. The substitute teacher, who usually enjoys my classes, said they were throwing bits of tile. Not just the "bad" kids, but the ones who usually behave, too.
I warned the students that if they continued to throw tile (they do it when I'm there too, but they're sneaky), then the whole class will be off the mural project and working on paper. With other projects. Boring stuff. (I'll make it boring.)
Today's the day.
They have three days this week to show me that they can behave. If they do, we'll try the mural again. If they don't, they can look forward to art on paper and art in books for the next three months.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I'll admit, I like medicine. I like the field of medicine. I find it fascinating, how the body works, the mysteries of what could go wrong and how to diagnose it. I like medical shows on TV. I do, however, get grossed out by blood and guts and what we call kishkes, and I block out that part of the TV with my hand. Which explains why I never pursued medicine as a profession.
So when something isn't functioning normally in my body, of course I look it up. On the internet, in books, whatever. I like to be an informed patient.
So my liver has been hurting. How do I know it's my liver, you ask? Am I just over-reacting and being a hypochondriac?
Well, I had liver parasites in Africa. I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Liberia, I swam in the wrong place, I had little parasites crawl through my skin and go through my bloodstream and make themselves at home in my liver and intestines. Where they caused symptoms. So that I became quite familiar with my liver, and how it feels when it hurts.
Reading up on liver pain is not a good idea. There are too many serious things that could be wrong. Of course, there are some minor things that could go wrong, too, but of course I don't focus on that. Only the horribly awful things. So I'm worrying. And worrying.
But DH came to radiology with me, I had an ultrasound, and then we spent the rest of the day on St. John - with a wonderful ferry ride, a nice lunch.
And hopefully my dr will call with the results, so I can stop worrying.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Whatever is flexible and flowing will tend to grow; whatever is rigid and blocked will wither and die.
- Tao Te Ching, Lao Tsu's teachings
That was today's quote of the day. "Change is the only constant" is a quotation from a BF, years and years ago.
I hope I'm flexible. I like to think I am. I've known too many people who want to establish a routine and stick to it, no matter what. I actually have a friend whose DH has a weekly menu, and just repeats that every week, month after month. When I visit, if I offer to cook dinner, it needs to be within his menu parameters. Because the world will fall apart (his world) if he has steak in the middle of the week, or fish on the weekend, or whatever. And I totally don't understand that kind of thinking, or the need to control one's life to that level.
I think that's why I like teaching - every year, every day, is different. I could do the exact same work year after year, but there are different students, different materials, all is in flux, all changes.
Or travel, when you never know what adventure lies around the next corner.
Life changes. We change. Life changes us. And the only way to survive is to (as we said in the 60s and 70s) go with the flow.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Okay, so I've weeded. And watered the outdoor plants. And watered the porch plants.
My candlestick plants are getting nice and big, and need to go into the ground. As do the lantanas. All purchased for the butterfly garden I've been establishing.
Link to candlestick plant:
But the landlord's maintenance guy was putting in a walkway for downstairs lady, and tore up the area I was going to use for the butterfly garden. And bought bags and bags of concrete, which he never used, and left out in the rain. Yup, now we have a stack of bags of concrete, which are solid instead of powdered.
So I don't have the space for the garden. It's under bags of concrete, or waiting for someone to put in the walkway. I don't want to put in my plants, only to have them be removed when someone finally finishes the walk.
Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Maybe I should pull out some of the weeds by the driveway and plant there.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
I was thinking about all my favorite songs - they all have a similar theme, of yearning, love, often unrequited love, and the ultimate aloneness we all face.
Which is so odd for someone who is essentially happy and cheery - it takes a lot for me to be depressed, sad, and I somehow always manage to find the one bright way of looking at something.
Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Viva La Vida
Walk Away Renee
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Most of Midge Ure (of Ultravox)
I could go on and on. Part of it is the melody. Part of it is the imagery of the words. Part of it is I like a song that tells a story, makes me think.
And, well, maybe I'm just more existential than I realize. More philosophical. Of the opinion that we're born alone, we die alone, but life is all about experiences and relationships, and trying to leave something positive behind before we go.
I don't know. I've just been thinking about this lately. Looking at the music on my iPod, thinking about themes in life.
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