500-999 SparkPoints
PHANTASMAGIRL's Recent Blog Entries

This is the day the Lord has made ...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I would do well to remember that.

Cheers to all!


When I get bored, I get stupid

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I must keep myself occupied. I've been a little manic lately. I'm slowly getting my place together. The new painting I did looks great over the fireplace and really enlivens the living room. Socially I have been busier than I have been in years. Still no dates. But I have a feeling that will not be so for long.

I have never really dated. Now having said that, I just ended a relationship that was on and off for several years. Of course, we dated but we got serious pretty quickly. With the exception of him, I have never really been asked on a date. How does that work? How in the world do people get together? It would be nice to feel sexy and smart and have someone who is NOT weird or unstable or lecherous, etc. interested in me. It would be great to have dating fun. Must stay focused on continuing to do things I enjoy and keep making friends. But dating ... Please. Nobody say they met the love of their life when they weren't looking for them. It's like saying "Your so fat but you have a pretty face." True or not we've heard it before and it does not need to be repeated.

So where does the boredom come in? Not so much boredom but anxiety. The anxiety is not just or so much the dating stuff. Just general work and all stuff. I have been eating more than usual. I think it is probably a combination of anxiety and dehydration. I'm still keeping kosher so today I had eight fish sticks, peas, pickled beets, a Skinny Cow chocolate ice cream bar, a grape juice bar, a chocolate pudding cup with whipped cream, some cherry white cheddar cheese, three crackers and 10 cherries. This in addition to lemonade, apple juice and a cup of hot tea. Seeing it all listed it looks like an odd combination of foods. Yesterday I had seven slices of pizza with mushrooms and black olives along with three! Mountain Dews. That was what ate all day. And played Age of Empires III and watched The Space Giants. Yesterday I hibernated in my geek cave. :')

Tonight I did some push ups, a couple of Yoga poses and then lay on my back staring up at the ceiling while stretching (sort of). I seem like I'm trying to slide into something funky and that is NOT okay.

I think I might like a steak. Eating meat is kind of chore because I avoid dairy on days I eat meat. So I mostly don't eat meat.

Maybe a boiled egg will do.

Maybe its late and I should go to bed. Because lack of proper sleep can lead to depression and overeating; two things I don't want.

Just have to stay focused on loosing 20 pounds by September and getting to the 250s by Fall. Ah, Fall. Your cool weather and stylish outfits I adore.

Wish me luck on the dating, dieting, work, family, friend-making, having fun fronts. I wish you all the same. ;')

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SASSISPRING 7/19/2010 12:45PM

    Okay I won't tell you that you'll meet someone when you least expect it, I'll just share that I did. I met him online playing cribbage and neither of us were looking for a partner. We enjoyed playing cards, got to talking on the phone, led to a trip together and we had 2 great years. I can't say that I have actually been asked out, well there was one time by a guy back in my twenties but it didn't work out. Usually I just met the guy through friends or living in a mutual area/mutual connections and we "fall" into going out. I guess what I'm saying is don't overthink it. Just get out, do your thing and it'll lead to meeting folks which leads into meeting more folks and stuff can happen. Go to MeetUps (search google for local MeetUps). Volunteer. Join a class. Do things for yourself and the rest will fall into place. Good luck with it all. :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
KKLENNERT809 7/19/2010 12:05AM

    Try to find yourself some hobbies-something you enjoy doing so you won't get bored. Boredom does lead to overeating..........Good luck on all other areas you have addressed. Get out of your Geek cave and make some new friends. Other people can be very stimulating and influencing on a positive note. Have a great week!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAVBLOGS 7/18/2010 11:19PM

    Hello, I enjoyed reading your blog=) I agree, boredom can lead to overeating, so when I get bored and the opportunity presents itself....I go to sleep!!! LOL I always say, when I'm sleepin', I ain't eatin'!

Good luck in all you do=)

Report Inappropriate Comment

Let's Get Personal

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Tonight was kind of tough. I am so grateful (glad, thrilled ...) that I am loosing weight. The down side is that I think I look a little older because I am loosing weight from my face as well.

I'm sure (and praying) that it's just a matter of my skin's elasticity catching up. I have lost 30 pounds in less than two months ...15 of it within approximately two weeks.

So ...tonight I tried to take some pictures of myself for a personal ad and well ... I wasn't thrilled with any of them. Then I switched to a top I was more comfortable in (i.e. black instead of the bright colors that supposedly one is supposed to wear because supposedly men like bright colors if they're toddlers.) Then the photos were okay.

Most of what made tonight tough is relationship, or lack of relationship, stuff and not weight-related stuff. Going out with some new people was kind of a fizzle and thus started the pity and dissatisfaction festival.

Actually, the kick off for the festival was two days ago when I found myself traveling to a place I didn't want to got to (for work) and doing things I was not thrilled about doing. It wasn't that bad. At least I am employed and have a job (that's actually a pretty cool one) to travel to places I don't won't to go to for. I am looking forward to Fall. I will loose 20 additional pounds by then and I have clothes to look forward to. I'd better start exercising before everything's hanging all over the place and making me look older.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANITAWPG 7/17/2010 9:45AM

    don't worry about the bright colors rule etc - instead - wear what you are comfortable in/look good in
you don't want to go "high fashion" with hair/makeup - but certainly a good do/look for you

Sexycool is right - you want to be looking slightly up at the camera. If I look up or even level I am good, but if I have to look down then my still there double chin appears - and the typical thing seems to be for the person taking the pic to kneel down to stabilize themseleves, so we look a bit down to the camera lens

I had to do a pic in 2008 for a family reunion album - I wound up kneeling at my office boardroom table, elbows on table, chin in hands - looking slightly up at our exec secretary who tookt he pic for me - the kneeling part doesn't show in the pic - but the upper torseo does - and it looked really good - it is on my spark page if you want to see the final result

EJIT01 also hit the nail on the head - moisturize!! and do so in an upward sweeping motion - if we rub in to hard and down we can actually over a long time damage and pull skin cells into a downward droop - so I make sure to try to rub lightly and sweep upwards - I have read (& heard at the occasional makeup party) it is also supposed to help with skin shine versus matte look

for long term I don't think the firming creams really are worth the money - it is more the massage action of you putting on a lotion - so save your money and get a decent store brand etc that you like - without paying huge money for the so called specialized firming creams

good luck on the ad - there are lots of game players out there - don't let them get you down, and don't let them waste your time - there are really great quality people on there as well

my girlfriends J as well as C met their hubbie's that way, as did I, and a few other people on sparks I have chatted with also met that way

and way to go on the weight loss!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LHLADY517 7/17/2010 8:30AM

    You'll make it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EJIT01 7/17/2010 8:13AM

    your skin will catch up with your weight loss in time. You lost an amazing amount in a short period of time, so be patient and you will get the rewards for it. Moisturise like there is no tomorrow and dont forget your gran told me that and she had amazing skin and hardly any wrinkles. Good luck with the 20lbs, im sure you will do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEXYCOOL* 7/17/2010 4:31AM

    Photo taking tip - Make sure you are holding the camera up or that the camera is at least six inches above your eye level so that you can up into the camera. For some reason, pictures where you are holding your head back slightly look better....well, at least mine do.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEDYFAY 7/17/2010 3:04AM

    I think men are attracted to different things. Although they can fool us sometimes, I think they are a little more advanced than toddlers... Wear something you feel comfortable with, that is the most attractive thing!

As for the feeling of looking old, you have lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time. You skin needs some time to catch up! You might go past a pharmacy and ask if firming creams might help, if you want to. I do not know whether or not it will, just occured to me that you could at least ask.

Good luck with the next 20 pounds - you can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment

now ...

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Every spring, for the past five years, my boyfriend and I would break up. Typically, by Fall we were friends or dating again. Five of the last eight years. Eight years. Eight. This time, the annual spring breakup event was initiated by me. And this year, though I have my bad moments (what if the next guy is crazy or worse? Better the devil you know than the the devil you don't. What if the next isn't wonderful in the ways that ____ actually was? What if I've made a mistake? What if ....? And if ...? And if ...?), I believe this time will stick. For one thing, I don't have that little feeling about the next time I see him. I do not believe there will be a next time. I've altered my prayer from "I hope I never see him again." to "Heavenly Father and Lord Jesus Christ, I pray that I only see ____ if we are meant to be." Then there was tonight. I logged in and took a spin on the spark points wheel. I said to myself "If I spin the wheel and get 5 points or higher, _____ and I are not meant to be." I spun a seven. When have I ever spun a seven? If I have, I don't remember. And if I don't remember it doesn't matter because the point I am taking this as a small sign, as if eight years of an emotional spin cycle is not enough, the he and me will never be. So I said "Thank you." for the seven. Seven. Seven. And that's all I have to say about that.

Now goal is to loose 20 pounds by the end of June. I am halfway there. I have to step up my efforts because I really would like to reach this mile post. It would be a wonderful morale booster. My weight inhibits me. Yes, I know that I ultimately inhibit me because I should be comfortable with who I am, etcetera. But I have never been comfortable being this heavy. Plus the swelling ankles, plus the potential for future health concerns, plus the not feeling at ease in my own body. So, it's not about what the world dictates is attractive. It's about how I feel about myself.

Woohoo for me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWCREATION2DAY 6/20/2010 1:17PM

    Dont give up this sounds like a good time for you to be able to focus on you and decide what really makes you happy. I am at a high point right now with my weight but when I lost weight before I learned so much about myself because I had to fill all the time I filled with food and thinking about food with other things. I pray God shows you the way. For he is the way the truth and the light. Sometimes everything seems so complicated God has a good way of being able to help bring us to a place of peace concerning things. Just remember you are valuable and God loves you and has created you for a purpose.

Report Inappropriate Comment

I'm not sure if it was the right thing to do ...

Sunday, January 03, 2010

I logged 24 minutes on the Wii Fit yesterday. I have been feeling like I'm catching a cold for a few days now and last night after I exercised it showed up in full force.

I wisely skipped today.

I've borrowed a Wii and Wii Fit from my boyfriend as sort of a try before I buy. I'm not sure if it was because I wasn't feeling 100% or not but I feel as though I could get bored with it pretty easily.

And ... honesty time. My right knee has been bothering me on and off for a few months. I wonder if strength training like leg raises would strengthen the muscles around my knee and give me better stability for a proper gait. I've actually started to lumber. Bleh!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LHLADY517 1/4/2010 11:18AM

    I've seen articles about exercises that help strengthen the knee. I don't remember what they are now, but I'm sure you can do a web search and find some.

Report Inappropriate Comment

1 2 3 Last Page