Wednesday, June 12, 2013
I'm currently reading Get Motivated! by Tamara Lowe. One of the points is discovering your motivational type. If anyone is familiar with it, I am a CSI. (Connector, Stabilizer, Internal).
As a connector, the book states that I need to be surrounded by people and thrive on social interaction. This couldn't be farther from the truth. The rest of the description is spot on.
I feel awkward in social settings, I would prefer to stay at home rather than go out, when we do go to functions, I just find a nice corner to sit and watch. I would rather email you than talk on the phone. I know there are groups I could interact with, for instance, I enjoy geocaching and there are a couple of local groups that meet monthly, but I never go because I don't think I will feel welcome. But, that is not what I used to be.
When I look back, I see a totally different person. I lived on the phone. I went out with friends on a daily basis. I use to surround myself with people. I don't know that I was any happier during those days. I don't even talk to those people anymore. I have a facebook account, but I don't use it.
I don't know what happened. Sure, I got married, moved away from town for a few years, returned, and had a kid....but so did a lot of them. My wife calls me antisocial, but I think of myself as non-social...I don't hate people, I just don't enjoy being around them. I am more social with strangers on SparkPeople than I am with old friends.
I really don't know what my next steps should be....I know something has to change.