Sunday, May 31, 2009
Though it didn't look that way at first. I woke up at 5 a.m., and before I even opened my eyes, I noticed the flashes of lightning. Moments later, I heard the rain hitting the roof and just groaned. I made my way to the computer to check the weather (and Spark People, of course), and it said that the rain was due to stop at 7 a.m. Okay, the race was starting at 7:30, and we all know the weatherman is always right. Well, today he was! I got to the race, checked in, went back to my car to stay dry, and lo and behold, at 6:55, the rain stopped. And the sun came out. My oh my, this was a good sign!
This was my first 10K in many, many years. Let's say 10 years. So I wasn't sure what to expect or how to feel. I knew I had trained well, so I figured I would do just fine. On my Spark Page, I put that my goal was to run it in less than an hour. My secret goal was to run it in less than 55 minutes, but I only told one person that. It was not a public goal.
Well, I surprised even myself with my time. I knew when I ran the first mile in less than 8 minutes that I was in for something great. I stayed strong, and I was so motivated by all the other runners who were pushing to do their best. My finishing time was 47:56, which I am so THRILLED with!
I am so happy today. I guess I know now that I have been a big slacker in all of my training, which was based on a race time of 55 minutes. Ha! I don't mind being wrong!!!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
So I've been sick for the better part of a week. All I have done since last Friday is eat, sleep, and eat some more. You wouldn't think that someone as sick as I was would have the energy to binge, but I did, again and again. Now that I'm feeling better, I can so easily identify all of the reasons that I succumbed to this latest episode of emotional eating. I was in a weakened state because I was sick. I have been under a lot of pressure at work. I have been having some relationship issues. I have been pushing myself too hard at the gym since reaching maintenance. Yup, it all makes sense, but that didn't stop me from ruining my longest binge-free streak in recent memory -- it had been over three months. Oh well. Now I pick up the pieces and start fresh. Tomorrow I'm back on the wagon. Back to eating healthy, back to making good choices, back to participating with my Spark Teams. I've just got to shake this one off and move on. Five days of eating garbage will not be my undoing. It will be my motivation to do better, to treat myself better, to take better care of myself.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
A few days ago, actually. But I've been in shock and I haven't wanted to make a big deal about it. I finally realized that the reason I'm not shouting "WooHoo" all over Spark People is because deep down, I'm scared I won't be able to stay here. Iím scared that I will either gain the weight back or that I will not be able to stop losing weight. You see, until recently, I have been a professional dieter. I have spent the last 10 years of my life gaining and losing weight like it's my job. I've gotten pretty good at it too -- I'm almost convinced that it's my secret superpower, except for the fact that it's not a superpower at all.
So this goal weight that I have reached feels very random. I basically picked it out of a hat (well, the hat just happened to have a height/weight chart in it). Just within the past two years, I have been 30 pounds heavier and 20 pounds lighter than I am today, neither of which was healthy. I am scared to stand here and say, "Hey, look at me, I reached my goal weight. Mission accomplished!", because I donít even know where I am.
But, in the spirit of positive thinking and believing that true change really can take place, I am saying that I will try my best. I've thought about this long and hard, and I am pledging to myself that I will maintain this weight for at least one month. Consider it my May Challenge (one of many, of course).
Here goes nothing!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
...but I miscalculated. It shouldn't have been that difficult. I sat down last night to plan my route. I knew I would be running on a path that is marked every half mile. So I thought I would do 3.5 miles out and 3 miles back, noting my time at the 10K mark. This would leave me time for a good cooldown at the end. Now, to confuse matters, my starting point was at Mile Marker 17. So I got out a piece of paper, drew myself a picture with lines and arrows, marked Mile Marker 20.5 as the turn around, drew my arrow pointing back. For all of this effort, you would think I would have managed to plan out a proper run. But noooooo... What I failed to do was note the location of the 6-mile point so that I could then execute my precision method for the extra .2 miles -- just run an extra 2 minutes. What can I say -- life without a Garmin is painful.
It was only when I got to the end, the 6.5 mile point, still a half mile from home, that the lightbulb went off. Ooohhhhhh, I get it now.
So, no time recorded for my mock 10K this morning. Oh well, at least I had a good run.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I have been here so many times that I find myself wondering, will it stick? I always hear people say that one of the secrets of "naturally thin" people is that they have an upper weight limit, a maximum weight that they do not allow themselves to exceed. If they hit their self-imposed maximum, they make small adjustments in their diet or workout routines to bring themselves back down. I wish I could do that. I wish I could say that 140 is my maximum and that I will never again weigh more than 140 without taking immediate action. But I have been in this place at least 5 times in the last 5 years, and I haven't yet succeeded in holding myself to that.
Maybe the 6th time is the charm?
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