Saturday, June 27, 2009
So you would think that a race injury might be running related, like a turned ankle or a pulled muscle, both of which I have done. I've even fallen down while running! (A few times, actually, but never during a race. Not yet anyway...) But today was a new one.
Let me start by saying that I like to wear hats while I run. They keep the sun off my face and the sweat out of my eyes. They cover my crazy halo of frizz that can't seem to control. I do, however, have a hard time with finding hats that fit and stay DOWN on my head, so I am constantly pulling the brim down. All of my older hats have stains on the brim from the contstant tugging and adjusting. The hat I wore today is relatively new, and I have only worn it on a few runs. I knew as soon as the race started that this hat was going to drive me bonkers. It wouldn't stay in place, and it was a breezy morning to boot, so I was having a hard time keeping it on.
So there I was, somewhere in Mile 2 of my race, when a big gust of wind swept in. I felt my hat lift off my head and tried to grab it, but ended up poking myself in the eye. HARD! Like stabbing pain and blurry vision hard. I managed to recover, but YOWZA, it really hurt. Well, I kind of forgot about it until I saw myself in the mirror later, only to discover that I have a big red patch in the white of my eye -- you know the kind you get when you burst a bunch of blood vessels. So there it is, physical evidence of my clumsiness.
Oh well, I still had a great race, even injured.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
THE BAD: I binged last night. It was pretty bad. In the past, my binges have been very frantic and out of control. Lately (and I have binged once a week for the past three weeks straight), I feel like I am almost "choosing" to binge. The pattern of binging, feeling bad, and recovering from the binge is so familiar that it is almost comforting. The idea of NOT binging, of dealing with the feelings that make me want to binge in another way, is NOT familiar, and therefore, not comforting. I feel like I'm really getting to the bottom of the issue, but I still haven't stopped the behavior.
THE GOOD: I got up today, and I went for a run, achy belly and all. Then I did my usual circuit/sculpt class at the gym. Because in this battle between the binge eater and the healthy runner, the binge eater does NOT win. She just doesn't. The binge eater may have won last night, but the strong, healthy woman in me fought back this morning. I'll keep fighting those demons, and I will settle the score.
Monday, June 08, 2009
I just got back from a four-day weekend in Minnesota, and I am happy to report that I stayed on track. I wasn't perfect -- not by a stretch -- but in general, I made good food choices and stayed as active as I could.
In the past, I have always treated vacations (or any time spent away from home, really) as "free zones" where calories don't count and exercise is not on the menu. I always used traveling as an excuse to overindulge and eat as much as possible, knowing that I would have to be "good" as soon as I got back to normal life.
This time, I actually took my healthy habits on the road. I did a few things I've always known were good ideas but never really put into practice.
1. I made sure to eat a healthy breakfast at the hotel every morning. Instead of having french toast and bacon, I opted for fruit, yogurt, and cereal. Breakfast was the meal I had the most control over, since most of my other meals were catered, served off of a fixed menu, or at someone's home.
2. I watched my portion sizes. Vacation does not have to mean double servings or cleaning my plate. I enjoyed all of my meals, but I did not throw portion control out the window.
3. I set a rule for myself that I could choose to have dessert/sweets no more than one time per day, even if more was offered. So I had homemade cinnamon cookies at a friend's house but I passed on the ice cream at the groom's dinner that night. I passed on dessert at lunch the next day because I knew I wanted wedding cake. (And now for the NOT perfect part, there were TWO kinds of wedding cake, and I did have a piece of each! But no guilt there!!)
4. I brought my running shoes with me. And I actually used them!!! This is a real first for me. I've always known that hotels have exercise rooms, but I've never actually used one. This was actually really easy to fit into my day. I got up early for a run one morning, and I snuck in a quick workout during afternoon downtime another day. I am very proud of myself for this one -- I think it helped relieve stress and served as a good reminder that healthy habits are part of my life no matter where I am.
All in all, it was a great trip, and it feels really good to come home and not feel like I have to kill myself trying to make up for being bad. It's nice to have a little balance in my life for a change!
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
So I had a small binge episode tonight. I did manage to pull myself out of it before I did any real damage, which is a true sign of progress. As I look at my day today, I see that several small choices/influences came together, and I responded in my typical way -- stress eating! Here's what happened.
1. I am leaving town tomorrow to go attend and participate in a friend's wedding. I have 101 things to do and am feeling stressed.
2. I had to stay at work 3 hours late. More stress. I inhaled a Fiber One bar within seconds of my boss delivering this news.
3. I was trying to finish up a few random foods before leaving town, so I didn't really have lunch. I just had a few snacky things that did not leave me feeling satisfied.
4. Before I even got home from work, I decided that I needed a super quick dinner so I could get to packing. I felt I "deserved" a treat because it had been such a long day. So I brilliantly decided that I should have peanut butter and cool whip on a bagel. For dinner.
Now, all three of these foods are trigger foods for me. Why, oh why, would I think it was okay to eat trigger foods for dinner? This is a lesson I thought I had learned. I used to eat ice cream and cookies for dinner all the time. I thought calories were calories, and I didn't care where they came from. I have since learned that eating REAL food and REAL meals really helps me control my emotional eating.
So I ate my planned dinner treat, then promptly ate more, and some more. I ate 1,000 calories in less than 5 minutes. It was one of those frantic moments where I had to eat one bagel while the other was toasting because my need to eat was so intense that I could not wait one more minute.
But then, I stopped. I was sitting there on my kitchen floor with my spoon in the peanut butter jar, and I stopped. I thought about the great weekend I have coming up. I thought about how nice it would be to be able to have dessert and coffee with friends and not be feeling guilty about my binge earlier in the week. I thought about not having to worry about my bridesmaid's dress being to tight because I'm bloated. I thought about wanting to share pleasurable moments with people I love instead of sneaking and hiding and feeling guilty. So I stopped.
This is really big for me. I'm glad I'm getting on that plane tomorrow. There's nothing like a change of scenery to help me reset and get those pesky binge thoughts out of my head.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
I've been training for a 20K that I'm doing later this summer. I'm using a 14-week Smart Coach program. I didn't have a recent race time to put in when I created the program, so I just put in an approximate 10K time (this means I picked a random number out of the sky). Smart Coach did its thing and crunched the numbers, and it gave me a target pace for my easy runs, tempo runs, long runs, etc. And I've been following that just fine. When Smart Coach told me to run 5 miles easy @ 10:35, I ran 5 miles easy @ 10:35. Sure, it felt easy, but I thought it was supposed to.
Well, I finally did a 10K last weekend, and as I mentioned in my last post, I ran MUCH faster than I expected. This was my first clue that speed is all in my head. Then yesterday, I got back on Smart Coach, put in a REAL 10K time, and it gave me new target paces for my running. So today, I went out to do my long run (yes, a long run on a Tuesday morning. Planning ahead because I'll be out of town this weekend). Smart Coach told me to run 9 miles @ 9:29. So what did I do? I ran 9 miles @ 9:29. Hmmmm... Is it really all in my head? Could I have been running faster all along? What is going on here?
It will take many more runs for this to sink in, but I think I've maybe I've been running slow because I thought I was slow. I mean, I'm still slow, but not as slow. Ha! My point is that I have had a number/pace/10K time stuck in my head, so I have used that as my upper limit, my maximum, the fastest I could ever go. I get on the treadmill and set the speed, or I go outside and shuffle along. I haven't been trying to run faster, because I thought I knew how fast I could run. Lesson learned.
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