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Will this be the week I take control?

Sunday, April 20, 2014

ROFLMAO...... I spent at least 2 hours writing an entry and when I hit submit I got an error message and it all disappeared. I'm sure the fact that it took 2 hours has something to do with why I got an error message when trying to post but seriously it would have been nice if I could have used the back key and found my entry waiting for me! Why am I laughing? Because that just seems to be my life lately. Try, try, try and then fall on my face.

Now, to be honest, it took me 2 hours because I was struggling with what I wanted to say/commit to. I didn't have this long, thoughtful, insightful post. Nope, it was more of a WTF is wrong with me that I can't stick to a freakin diet already!?

My dad recently had knee replacement surgery and the next day when they brought him lunch he said he wasn't hungry he was taking the cookie off the tray and shoving it in his mouth. Yup, I am my fathers daughter. In fact, both my dad and his brother have struggled with weight all their lives, have high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. My uncle was obese (like me) a good portion of his life and he has suffered at least 2 strokes and 1 heart attack. He lives on a motorized wheelchair and has an oxygen tank with him at all times. You would think with these two examples of my future staring me in the face, I could change my life but ...... NOPE.

My Plan.....

I don't even know what my plan is. I hate writing down my food. I hate planning ahead. I don't have that excitement I used to have at the beginning of a diet. I'm more resigned to failure than anything else. This time will probably just turn out like the rest so why don't I just throw in the proverbial towel?

My Plan....

Okay, how about taking a picture of what you are going to eat before you eat it? I always have my phone or tablet with me and if I'm too embarrassed to take a picture of what I'm about to eat then I shouldn't eat it. Strike that. ..... I'll eat it anyway. So, I just need to take a picture of it. My friends won't care. They won't give me a hard time. In fact, they are all very supportive. I wish I was as supportive of myself as they are of me.

Here we go again......

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RHOOK20047 4/21/2014 9:21AM

    Don't try to do too much. Take little step with little goals. Start with increasing your water each day by 1 glass. When your reach 8 glasses you are where you should be. Find something in the house that takes some extra effort to do, I started with making the bed daily. I find making the bed a waste of time. You only mess it up when you get in. But once your do that, add something else. Then start adding walking to your daily plan. I started going to my mail box. I live on 1 1/3 acres so the road where my mailbox is, is like a city block away. Then I added on to that. Now I walk 30 minutes a day usually on the track at work. But take little goals that are attainable, and work up. Do the same with your diet. Journal and see what you are eating and remove the bad stuff one by one. Then start planning your meals, so you don't make the bad choices. It sounds like a lot but doing it a little at a time makes it much easier! You can do it!

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PFARRAR65 4/20/2014 8:40PM

    One day at a time usually works well.

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Trying to Find My Way Back

Sunday, April 13, 2014

It happened again. I lost weight last summer because I was focused and stress free and then the school year started. Over the last few months while I worked ridiculous hours during the school year I gained back everything I lost over the summer and now I'm back to where I started.

Why can't I get a handle on this?
Why do I let stress get the best of me?
How can I juggle the demands of my job and still have time to focus on my health?

I absolutely MUST figure it out this year. I can feel myself withdrawing into myself becoming less and less social. This past year has also been full of health problems for my elderly parents. Luckily, I live close by so I've been able to help out but that has also sucked up my time and given me another thing to worry about. I don't fear growing older but I do fear growing older... FAT. I'm not married and don't have children so if I fall ill or need to have surgery like my parents did there will be no one to care for me.

I don't want to wait until summer vacation. I want to start NOW. I want my life back!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RHOOK20047 4/14/2014 9:29AM

    Sounds like you need to find some stress relievers during the school year. Find something to do that can release your stress and allow your weight loss. Are you making time for yourself, getting quiet time to just calm down? I do that each afternoon at lunchtime, to try and calm myself down and let go of the problems of the day.

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GODDREAMDIVA1 4/13/2014 9:02PM


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Lost my way....

Sunday, August 25, 2013

I've been an eating fool the last few weeks. As soon as I got back into my classroom and got busy I lost the focus on my health. It's been probably 3 weeks and I don't know how much I've gained back but I've definitely gained some back. Which stops today.

I went to the grocery store and bought vegetables and yogurt and made sure the crap was out of the house. I already had fish, eggs, burrito fixins and other healthy options in the house so I really didn't have to buy much. What surprised me was the happy feeling I felt when I was in the produce section picking up broccoli slaw and zucchini. That's new!

Have a healthy and productive week my Spark friends!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATSYB7 8/26/2013 5:48AM

Remember that happy feeling!
emoticon emoticon

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.DUSTY. 8/25/2013 11:47PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PINKYYSUEE 8/25/2013 11:20PM

    Good Job!!! You'll lose it all again!

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Starting a New School Year!!!

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

I swore I wasn't going to go into my classroom early this year but I just couldn't stand it!! As soon as I saw other teachers from my school posting updates about their rooms on Facebook I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away. Unlike the last few years I haven't spent the entire day at school. I make myself leave by noon and go home in time to eat a decent lunch..... except for today. I left at noon but I had to go to the teacher store (to pick up FREE supplies) before going home. I may not have made the best choices at McDonalds today but I didn't make the worst AND I adjusted for it at dinner. So, kudos to me!

In the next few days I will start planning my meals for next week. They have to be easy and relatively quick. I'm glad I started this new way of thinking/eating at the beginning of summer. It gets easier and easier the longer I live this healthy life.

On a different note, I went on a mini vacation last Thursday. Every year I go to an Orlando resort with a group of ladies I've known for years and we eat, drink, play games and float down the Lazy River. This year I found myself getting restless. I didn't want to just sit around. I did eat more quantity than I have been eating this summer ( I knew I would and gave myself permission to be bad for the weekend) but I certainly couldn't eat the same amounts I would have eaten last summer. I was able to talk the ladies into a game of putt-putt golf and I started the conversation about doing something different next year.

One last thing I want to mention. Before I went away on vacation I was starting to struggle with my diet. I was obsessing about the "numbers". The calories I track in the day, the number on the scale, etc.. I've done this in the past and I end up giving in and giving up if I don't see the changes I want to see quickly. I decided I'm only going to take my measurements once a month and while I'm going to write down what I eat and be aware of my calories I'm not going to track the calories in the tracker. The majority of my diet will be unprocessed foods - foods I make myself, fruits, veggies, good stuff!!!! If it doesn't work then I'll try something different in September!

Happy school year everyone!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNOOPYMOMMA72 8/8/2013 7:07AM

    I think that is a great plan! I have gotten obsessed like you and have given up for the same reasons. I track sometimes and try to weigh myself less often. I think tracking is good, but not realistic to have to do it for ever.
And like you said, you can always change plans for September! Great attitude!

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NANCYPAT1 8/8/2013 12:31AM

    Have a great school year - I too went to school for the first time since the break started - went in for a technology training. ONLY HALF A DAY.

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Feeling Stronger Today

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

I made good choices today, not perfect but good. MUCH better choices than yesterday. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm not working towards perfection and I'm not going to lose this weight over night. It is only going to happen through changing my habits - eating and working out.

While at the grocery store I picked up a bag of animal cookies - the ones that used to come in a little circus decorated box. I've always loved those and vanilla wafers over any other type of cookie. Anyway, I went to grab them until I saw a package of peanut bars. Another one of my downfalls - peanuts. I looked at the calories on the peanut bars -- 340 for ONE bar. YIKES! I put it down and then remembered something I had read earlier today on a featured blog post by IMSOOZEEQ.

IMSOOZEEQ said...."I began thinking how if I skip the cake, that didn't mean that I would never have cake again. It simply meant that I wasn't going to have some right then."

So simple but it is a powerful statement. I was able to put down the peanut bars and walk away without picking up either vanilla wafers or the animal cookies. I'm always going to face temptation. I work in an elementary school for goodness sakes. That stupid teachers lounge always has some sort of leftover goody sitting on the table. Just because it is there doesn't mean I have to eat it and it doesn't mean that it won't be there again next week or next month.

I also talked to my BFF who had weight loss surgery and told her of my fear that she will lose all her weight and I'll still be the fat friend and we will grow apart because of my raging jealousy over her success and my failure. It felt good getting it out there. Of course she was supportive and said we will do this together but ultimately it's my issue. I gained the weight and only I can lose the weight.

I'm glad to be feeling strong again!! Thanks to my fellow sparkers who have left me encouraging words on my blogs. They have truly helped me come through the darkness!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAESTRACH 7/31/2013 7:56PM

    I am with you 100% about the darned teacher's lounge! Our teacher's lounge is the old home economics room. It's always chock full of stuff I shouldn't eat (they had donuts at my interview)...I said declined and had water. That was horribly hard.

I make a point to try to take in healthy treats for the staff room and put a little sign on it with the weight watcher's points, and the calorie break down. The last school that I was at, it totally caught on. Everyone started using our sparkrecipe .com and posting the calories for the treats on the table. By the end of my second year, there was always fresh fruit on the table...usually next to a cake something, but the option for a healthy choice was there.

I'm so proud of you for being able to walk away from the cookies! I have to force myself to make my list before I leave and NOT TAKE DH with me. He loves the middle isles, I stay to the outsides (the fresh stuff) Except the far right (which in our store is the ice cream and desserts isle. So very proud of you.

I found a great way to enjoy my peanut addiction...I make my own PB bars. (mix some protein powder with some oatmeal (uncooked) and then add 1 cup of NATURAL peanut butter (ie I toss the peanuts in the food processor and let it make the PB then add the oats and protein powder. It comes out really crumbly. Then I press it (hard) into a cookie sheet (to about 1/8 inch). Pop in the freezer for 20 minutes, then cut up. and BAM! Great protein bars, no preservatives. Enjoy with 2 glasses of water and it's the perfect pre shopping treat. (not hungry so I don't feel like I want more than what's on the list).

sorry...I'm all over the place to day!

Keep up the amazing work. So proud of you. Hope your friends surgery goes well. I know your journey is already well on its way! emoticon

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DAWNSJOURNEY 7/31/2013 7:28AM

    emoticon emoticon first off that is true.. if you want those things.. the shelf in the store will always be full of them.. Knowing that they are there and it is your choice to eat or not eat them is empowerment.

For being honest with your friend .. took courage and it speaks to how much you value her friendship.. sometimes just getting it out there takes care of it.. remember everyone's journey is their own.. yours is meant for you and only you !!


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PATSYB7 7/31/2013 6:59AM

    You rock! Keep up the good work.
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NOWORNEVER1982 7/30/2013 9:44PM

    emoticon Yah! Great blog, so happy to hear that you're feeling strong again! And you are absolutely right, just because the food is there, doesn't mean you have to eat it. I need to remember that one for myself.

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SNOOPYMOMMA72 7/30/2013 9:22PM

    You did awesome on 2 counts - you left the "crap" at the store!
You know you will always face temptation - but did great in avoiding it!
The second thing is that you told your friend how you felt. I think that is really wonderful. I am sure it was scary for you as well because what you said might be hard and scary for both of you - but you did both things and that is great!

I am glad you feel strong again and we are all here to help you get stronger when you need it! emoticon emoticon

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