PCOH051610   52,564
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PCOH051610's Recent Blog Entries

I'm not doing to drown, I'm not going to drown, I'm not going to drown....Am I?

Friday, August 17, 2012

Hi,

For those who know me you know we have found ourselves in debt for the first time ever over the past year or so. To be quite honest (and when am I never...much to my embarassment) I have been like ostrich with my head in the sand for much of my life.

I was neither allowed nor given any financial independence throughout my formative years. Basics were provided and we ate well. I wasn't spoiled by any means but I also wasn't allowed to make any decisions when it came to money and how to spend it. I went to university never knowing how much it cost my parents and I lived with them until I married at age 34. Yes, I did have a credit card and a job but I didn't spend much money and I always paid my credit card off when I did. Okay, so I lived a spoiled life then as all I ever paid for was my gas.

Then I got married and my husband had a pretty good job. I worked too but never knew even how much money I made. I never so much as looked at any bills coming into the house. And, I started spending money. Not, a lot of money, but keeping a house going does require some money.

Long story short - John's company closed up and there went 400 jobs in a small town. For three years we lived on savings (we were lucky) but now it is getting tight. We owe more than I would like to admit and are going to take out a small mortgage on our house to make monthly payments easier to handle.

Problem is I think my husband is getting really depressed over the whole situation. He was always the "take charge" kind of guy and by that, I don't mean controlling. He is now working and I will return to my part-time seasonal job in a few weeks. So, I am taking over to ease some of the pressure on him.

I will be the first one to admit that I don't have a clue about money and so I am getting help with that with our bank. They are going to get us back on track and then I will take over from there. We are also going to set up a budget to live on and I think this will really help us in a lot of ways. For one thing, meal planning will become a requirement and that will help us both towards our healthy lifestyle goals.

Oh, and did I mention John is one stack of paper away from being a hoarder? He keeps everything and keeps it forever! We have every statement, every paycheque, every envelope etc that ever entered into our home. I told him I was going to set up electronic billing and he was actually interested in it.

So, today, my challenges included, walking the dogs (done), drinking my water (done), opening envelopes and sorting through the mess on our dining room table (done), buying a few organizational tools (like a portable file holder thing - done), and starting a filing system...not done. I have all receipts stacked up and will go through them as I watch television later on tonight and I have the kitchen tidied up. Whew.

I am not going to drown in paperwork! I am not...darn it...I'm NOT!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOPESINGH 8/21/2012 1:03PM

    filing gets much easier when you're already on track, and just have to keep up with the incoming stuff. Don't worry, you'll learn to swim! emoticon

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S3XYDIVASMOM 8/19/2012 4:55PM

    It sounds like a plan. Anyone could get in trouble when the money stops coming in. That you were able to last for three years is very commendable and now that you're both working, and with both parties involved with a plan, you'll be able to emerge from the backside of all this stronger and smarter than you are today. Good luck.

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KAYDE53 8/18/2012 5:37PM

    You can do it, Susan! How many times have you come through when you needed to?? I'm glad you're doing it with help, sometimes it tough just going it alone. I like that you're setting mini-goals too!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CASE4GRACE 8/18/2012 11:37AM

    I was in a similar situation growing up. I was not spoiled - my parents just said "no" to everything, so I was never taught how to relate to money, how to use it properly, etc. As an adult, I went on a spending spree and wracked up some debt, but could always manage the bills each month. Got married, continued wracking up debt (debt total was increasing year by year) but still always paid the bills on time - and extra, never just minimum pmts. My husband had his hours cut at work and eventually lost his job. I had several creditors that I finally had to go to humbly and ask if they would be willing to settle for a payoff lower than the total and we cashed out some retirement savings and paid almost everything off. It was humiliating, but it was that or bankruptcy. I found a significant amount of help with budgeting and management tools through the Dave Ramey organization. They have what they call "Financial Peace University" and he has written books, has a TV show on cable, etc. From his website, we found a local person who was trained by Dave Ramsey and he helped us get our debt paid off and set a proper monthly budget. We have stayed on track since then - over 2 years now - in spite of being on unemployment for 18 months. I would highly encourage you to check out Dave Ramsey - great resources there to help get you started. Wishing you all the best!!

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JAMER123 8/17/2012 11:27PM

    Way to go, Susan! You are taking control before you go under. I am proud of you even with never having anything to do with the finances. I am the person in our household that knows where every penny is, pays the bills, and works with the bank. My DH knows all that is going on and can do it if I am not able to but he turned that job over to me when we married. And I am an organizer, even when we raised our 3 kids and working full time. Not sure now how I got it all done but I am now retired and have less time it seems!!
You will get there. It is called one day at a time!! emoticon emoticon

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EJOY-EVELYN 8/17/2012 10:36PM

    I'm impressed. You have found a new talent and expertise that will bring the two of you even closer (in the long run). Great plan and hoping your success keeps you motivated to stay the course.

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SHEILA-45 8/17/2012 9:54PM

    You can do this Susan! Just take one step at a time like the SP program; don't let it overwhelm you. Getting advice is a step in the right direction. I too have a money issue which I have yet to deal with... back taxes. There were a few bad years emotionally and I never did my taxes and now Uncle Sam is knocking on my door (thankfully not literally yet! ) So, I'll deal with that after the wedding ... Two weeks and 2 days away... emoticon

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CODEMAULER 8/17/2012 8:54PM

    Don't be afraid to ask for help - there are financial folks at your lending institution that are there to help you get on track!

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KANSASROSE67 8/17/2012 7:53PM

    Don't give up! Keep the momentum going and you will feel so empowered when you've taken control of this area of your life.

I have complete faith in your ability to handle this, and handle it well!

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BOVEY63 8/17/2012 6:28PM

    You are a very smart woman and will do a great job getting your budget in order - good idea to get help from the bank to get on track.

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JOANNANOW 8/17/2012 5:37PM

    emoticon
Sounds like you are in the drivers seat Susan.
Have a wonderful weekend.
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ILOVEMALI 8/17/2012 5:20PM

  If you saw my office, you'd cry from the paperwork.

I keep telling myself that, if money is my only problem, then I am blessed. I try to differentiate "problems" from "inconveniences," and have decided that money is my only problem. I am blessed.

I hope that you have few problems, and that you get the money thing under control. I'm working hard to do it, too -- I know that we can do this!

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ANGRITTER 8/17/2012 4:53PM

    Been there, am still doing that!! I have a budget for the $400 allowance I get from my parents each month. I get $100 per week as I do all the taxes for the trucking business, and my parents want me to be able to guy food when they are not in town. Well, Aunt Di has $200 in food stamps per month, so we use those and I use my allowance for paying for my medication, doctors, etc. It really helps when I can pay for my own expenses and I don't have to ask for money.

So we have had completely different upbringings regarding money. However, I still stress about money, but am trying to not stress since I don't have any and know tomorrow I will still not have any.

But I know what you are talking about. I used to keep every dang piece of paper, and every bill and every receipt. Last year, I had a giant bonfire and burned all of the old bills - they were 5 years old! Then I started on the receipts as they were mostly faded so why keep them?

I am so happy that you are going to take over. I am sure it will be a relief to your husband to share some of the burden, and it's always good to know where you are financially.

But you sure have gotten a lot accomplished today! My only goal is to get my bed linens changed, and I have it stripped but not remade. So I am half way there!

Keep going, sweets, and you'll get it all together!

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SILVER1369 8/17/2012 4:30PM

    emoticon emoticon

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POPSY190 8/17/2012 3:48PM

    You will feel better about the debt now that you are taking charge of the problem. And you are going about it sensibly by getting help and making a plan to get organized. There's light at the end of the tunnel!

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Spark Motivator? Me? Surely you jest! Please read if you are struggling because I am too

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Hi,

Let's see if my computer let's me post this before I lose it as has been the case for the past several weeks. We desperately need to have our computer cleaned up but that has to wait until we have our finances are in order which should be about a month from now! emoticon

I do some of my best thinking while walking the dogs and lucky for you, my dogs get walked everyda! Ha! So, while Maddy, Louisa, and Ginger were on squirrel and moose patrol last night I had a long conversation with myself. And to think people get locked away for talking to themselves. I try to keep my lips from moving in case the psychiatric police are lurking nearby and so far I've been undetected! emoticon

The past week has been an interesting one to say the least. I wrote a blog, SparkGuy responded, and suddenly I'm famous! Okay, famous in my own mind. I mean, come on now, how did I become a Spark Motivator? Me, who has been on Spark for two years and an now heavier than when I started?

And, then it dawned on me. Spark is a means to self-improvement. It is NOT a diet website. I might not have the diet thing mastered but my life has improved a lot since I was first directed to Spark. For those who don't know the story, it was my dog's vet who told me about Spark for she believes that healthy humans lead to healthy pets.

So, where have I come in two years? I'm still mentally ill but now I talk about my bouts of depression and S.A.D. with ease rather than humiliation. I now drink 8 glasses of water each day without thinking about it. I now feel guilty if I don't walk each day and I look forward to counting up the kms I've walked.

Where would I like to be? Well, to be honest, my weight problem still plagues me but with any journey you can't do it all at once. I also talked myself into believing it can be done. Am I the only one here who has been going through the motions but deep down doesn't believe I can actually lose the weight? AND, I'm a Spark Motivator.

At first I was alarmed that I was selected a motivator (okay, after my three minutes of fame I basically had a panic attack) but like I said above Spark is a tool. We all use it differently. For me, up until this point, Spark has helped me discover myself and to even like myself. Now, I realize it is time to get serious and stop letting the thoughts of being 50+ pounds overweight stop me in my tracks. But, that, my friends is fodder for another days walk!

Thanks to all of you who believe in me!



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Susan

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

S3XYDIVASMOM 8/16/2012 4:13PM

    I've been less than perfect, too, but I haven't given up. Likewise, you are still hanging in there. I think you are right to congratulate yourself on better self-image, on-going honesty, drinking 8 glasses of water, and the daily walk. All of these add up to improvements in health whether or not you ever lose another pound. Keep up the good work and you'll continue to motivate the rest of us.

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JLITT62 8/16/2012 5:00AM

    I don't see anything in the definition of motivator that says you have to succeed . . . BUT . . . and it's a big but . . . you do have to believe you'll succeed. You won't achieve it if you don't believe it. Sad, but oh so true.

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JAMER123 8/15/2012 11:01PM

    You do motivate us!! CONGRATS on the award!! You have figured it out that it isn't the diet/wt. loss that motivates but total body health. You have come so far and, yes, you may have more miles to go but you are on the right path!!! I am on the motivator list as well and haven't lost either. But, like you, I love to give others the Spark that I haven't kept going. Keep up the great work!!
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BOVEY63 8/15/2012 6:09PM

    You a Spark Motivator? Sure doesn't surprise me because you motivate me over and over again!
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POPSY190 8/15/2012 4:41PM

    No need to panic - just go on being yourself and you will continue being a positive force on SP. You have hit the nail on the head about the site; it's not about perfect bodies, quick fixes or image. It's about real people, with all the problems, anxieties and ups and downs that being human brings. Great blog.

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EJOY-EVELYN 8/15/2012 3:48PM

    emoticon

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RUNNER12COM 8/15/2012 3:13PM

    Self-improvement is right. None of us here are perfect, so we just keep going on and doing the best we can!

Congrats to you!

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ELLISH 8/15/2012 2:21PM

    I see why, that's for sure! Sometimes we don't even know why but it is what it is and you got it! ;)

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ANGRITTER 8/15/2012 2:06PM

    Woman, you know I love you to death!! This is exactly the same type of blog I would have written about it. Please know that we do hit that "motivator" button when we read your blogs, because you make people smile and you make them feel important. You respond to people positively and you ALWAYS have something nice to say. I know you've made me smile a hundred times on here with our little quirks we share. I feel like I have found a kindred spirit... maybe my Canadian Sister! We could remake the movie Strange Brew!! (I still have it on VHS and will never give it up!)

And the panic attack is normal... I would have had one too, but just know we don't expect anything more from you than what you have already given us: your smile, your witty comments, your agreeable nature, the fact you make comments on picture pages, etc. You are just an all around wonderful person. (And yes, make your husband read this one too!!!)

I love you and am sending you virtual hugs and the strength to get through you bout of "Fame". Enjoy it, you deserve it! Now go out and talk to yourself some more!! It's obviously working!

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NO_SNOW_BODY 8/15/2012 1:09PM

    Obviously believing in yourself was the first step

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GAYLE-G-63 8/15/2012 12:58PM

    emoticon

Dearest Susan,

It's your honesty that makes you such a great motivator. There are many of us who suffer with depression and other struggles that aren't as open about them. That fact that you can and do is incredibly admirable. There are many times I haven't felt quite so alone after reading one of your blogs athough I may not have told you. Thank you.

~Gayle~

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_LINDA 8/15/2012 12:53PM

    Well deserved Susan -because you are taking steps in the right direction for a healthy lifestyle. You are putting your struggle all out there for everyone to see and that is very brave. Especially with mental illness that most people would prefer to see swept under the carpet and hidden away. Its your living your life to its fullest and enjoying everything around you when times are good, but not being afraid to admit when things are dark. This is why we believe in you and you are motivator -because you keep coming back and never giving up! You will have to put up with longer than 15 minutes of fame now as you will be getting a flood of e-mails and congrats -hope that poor computer can hold up ;)
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GARDENQE2 8/15/2012 12:32PM

    You hit the nail right on the head..."I might not have the diet thing mastered but my life has improved"
YES! YES! YES!
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ILOVEMALI 8/15/2012 12:17PM

  Congratulations! Spark Guy was just validating what we've been telling you all along!

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SILVER1369 8/15/2012 11:31AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Goodbye - why I have had enough

Friday, August 10, 2012

Hello,

Now, don't go getting your collective knickers in a knot because of that blog title. I am not saying good bye to you my beloved SparkFriends but I am trying to say good bye to one of my most annoying personality traits. I am a die hard perfectionist.

Perfectionism often grasps me so tightly that I also become a procrastinator. So I am trying to say emoticon to one of those P words. If I am honest with myself I can see how my quest for perfectionism has kept me from actually moving ahead at all - and not just with weight loss.

I don't do a lot of things simply because I am not perfect at them. I know that sounds pretty stupid and even a little bit self-centred, but that is my honesty speaking. How many times have I not walked 5km a day and then felt terrible about that. Or how many times has one calories splurge prevented me from tracking my food?

Perfectionism is unattainable and the quest for it sets us up for failure. I am hereby going to lower my personal expectations so that I can actually move ahead with my journey instead of stopping in my tracks.

Here is a karate chop for all of you - because I know I am not alone in my wish to stop putting so much pressure on myself. emoticon Actually I just realized that that emoticon in not of a karate chop and my evil twin Mrs. P (perfectionism) wants me to change my wording but what the heck......

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVILPASSION 8/15/2012 11:34PM

    SIgn up for "Flylady" online -- even if your house is already clean she spends a lot of time coaching people to end perfectionism. The Motto this year is "Perfectionism is shelved in 2012". You're definitely not alone.

http://www.facebook.com/not
e.php?note_id=10150558091125252
&comments emoticon

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JOSHWATS 8/15/2012 10:02PM

    Great blog! I have struggled with the perfectionist/procrastinator also. I started Spark in 2010 but gave up when I couldn't "make" myself exercise every day and "couldn't" eat the right foods. I know now that those were excuses and that I don't ALWAYS have to eat right and I DON'T have to exercise every day. The next hurdle is to not get down on myself because I can't use a scale (due to my full time use of a wheelchair) but that I can use inches as my measurement instead. This blog had great insights. Thanks very much for sharing Susan.

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PATSYB7 8/15/2012 6:53PM

    Yes! I have been working very hard on this very topic--letting go of perfectionism. Baby steps! Congratulations on being named a SP Motivator. Keep up the good work!

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SHUTRBUG1 8/15/2012 2:03PM

    Sometimes we just have to say "this is good enough"!

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_LINDA 8/15/2012 1:04PM

    Good for you Susan! I don't know how I missed this, but I a very behind on a lot of Sparking as I was caught up in the Olympics and fair. I am going to say I have never had a problem with this probably because I suck at so many things and am just such an average Joe that if I actually do well at something it comes as a pleasant surprise lol. Having low expectations may normally keep one down, but not me as I am too stubborn to ever give up. Sometimes it takes a lot of head banging against the wall to realize I am simply not cut out for something! I guess that is why I am on such an even keel and doing tedious tasks like tracking everything and mindless factory work was a good fit for me. I wish you well in this important endeavor to just relax and let come what may. Giving it your best shot is all you can expect of you! To never have tried you let yourself down..


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INGMARIE 8/15/2012 7:28AM

    emoticonand we all have suffered or are suffering from "Perfection-noja"
I am trying my best to Kick it.
Thanks for a great blog.
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CHERIRIDDELL 8/15/2012 12:46AM

    I like this I tend to have the same problem!

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JOANNANOW 8/12/2012 9:52PM

    you are sooo cute... I like the little kick boxer. I think you're onto something with the perfection thing. As the surfers say "hang loose!"
sending hugs. emoticon

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HOPESINGH 8/12/2012 9:59AM

    You are perfectly (yes, perfectly!) right. The P word has been my closest friend for quite a while too, and one of the things I've been spending my time with my therapist on doing, is saying goodbye to this friend. Because somehow, in my case and maybe in other people's case, not doing something perfectly is not just bad, it's a failure, and it means I am not okay, and I do not deserve to be loved. Which is crap, of course.
Hope you part ways soon! Sending you lots of love and hugs!

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CHLOE453 8/12/2012 6:24AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TDWANDD2MYK9 8/12/2012 5:19AM

    emoticon emoticon

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CASE4GRACE 8/11/2012 10:56PM

    I think you and I share the same DNA - I could have written this blog myself. To recognize that in ourselves is a huge step in the right direction The only thing I want to do to perfection anymore is to not be perfect - allow myself to live in the gray area the represents the balance between doing things perfectly and not doing things at all. I wish you all the best doing the same!

Comment edited on: 8/11/2012 10:57:35 PM

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GAYLE-G-63 8/11/2012 11:31AM

    emoticon emoticon

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PEDODGEBALL 8/11/2012 11:23AM

    Ah perfection, its hard to step away from it. I to am a perfectionist and some dyas it feels like it going to kill me. I am working on just doing the best I can instead of striving to always be perfect in everything I do. I'm glad your trying to shed that part of your life, you will be better for it.
Jeanne

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TXGRANDMA 8/11/2012 10:58AM

    emoticonthat you are saying Good Bye to perfectionism. I have the same problem but am getting better at it, where Spark People is concerned........Glad that you aren't leaving us! emoticon

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Q8PRINCESS 8/11/2012 7:54AM

    Yup, sometimes it just doesn't matter.

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POPSY190 8/11/2012 12:34AM

    I used to tell my students before exams to do the best they could IN THE TIME AVAILABLE. Too many able students didn't do well in timed exams because they were perfectionists and spent all their time on one question. Result: they didn't attempt all questions and lost a lot of marks. In this weight loss, health gain business we have to do the best we can in the circumstances we find ourselves in; I once heard someone say, "If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing badly." So better to do food and fitness tracking imperfectly than not to do it at all!
You're right to farewell Mrs P. Hello Mrs B- balance in all things!
I can hear your determination in this blog. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAMER123 8/11/2012 12:02AM

    Boy, was Lori right about you scaring us!! Miss P need to go away from us all and then allow us to function in a mode that we can try for the perfect day but if we fail, we don't flog ourselves for our failures but allow us to learn!!
emoticon for a great blog and emoticon emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 8/10/2012 11:38PM

    Quit scaring me like that! I nearly had a heart attack! emoticonLOL And you are so right about perfectionism! It is a cruel task master, and we MUST be free from it! emoticon

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LESSOFPMCD 8/10/2012 10:27PM

    I`m also a perfectionist. I think sometimes that I set the goal high for myself knowing I cannot attain it and therefore giving me an excuse not to try at all.

but I have learnt... When it comes to diet and exercise - something dome half way is better than nothing done at all.

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EJOY-EVELYN 8/10/2012 10:24PM

    Hi, Susan. This is a major step forward! Congratulations!

For me, it's not so much about perfectionism (although it's close) as it is about overachieving. If I go back into my awkward childhood, I don't believe I was ever chosen to be on a team early on . . . so this is probably my way of over compensating . . . I take the meaning of personal responsibility a little too personally, and then have great expectations for my SparkFriends like you who really want to see progress. Fortunately, taking responsibility also comes with success. I do wish I didn't have to work so hard at maintaining a healthy BMI.

Try to answer these questions in the affirmative: Are you overall satisfied with the person you are? And know that you have a lot of people who sincerely care about you on this web site alone! Are you ready to live a healthy lifestyle? Do you have some rewards in place as you reach a variety of the goals you've set? If so, then you are ready to reach for your dreams and make them your reality! Along with SMART goals, I'd probably use this time to get rid of the junk food and pledge to my pooch how often we'll be taking walks.

Looking forward to hearing how we can best support you. In the meantime, we're eagerly listening. Some pressure can be good. -- Such a fine line we walk! You're a great writer and organizer. The true test now is in the follow through. You are so deserving of the improved you that you will become with healthy living.


Comment edited on: 8/12/2012 8:44:04 PM

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BARCLE 8/10/2012 9:41PM

    emoticon and I liked the use of the phrase knickers in a knot - it's one this Kiwi gal uses quite frequently emoticon

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CHUBRUB3 8/10/2012 9:37PM

    Good for you!
Hugs!
Angela

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PURPLESPEDCOW 8/10/2012 9:09PM

    I think this and fear of failure are big problems for many of us

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GOOZLEBEAR 8/10/2012 8:50PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticongreat blog, I'm proud of you!

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ILOVEMALI 8/10/2012 8:26PM

  You are so smart!

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ILOVEMALI 8/10/2012 8:20PM

  You are so smart!

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ILOVEMALI 8/10/2012 8:20PM

  You are so smart!

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SUSANS706 8/10/2012 8:03PM

    emoticon Great post!!!

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ANGRITTER 8/10/2012 7:40PM

    OMG, he really did read your blog!!! How exciting! I guess everyone "liking" your blog worked out!

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SPARKGUY 8/10/2012 7:10PM

    Byby perfectionism -- hello building small healthy habits one at a time that will help you do your best and then continue improving at that one day at time and having a lot of fun along the way :).

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ANGRITTER 8/10/2012 6:49PM

    If we were all perfect we wouldn't be in the situation in which we find ourselves now! And I can't even walk and talk without falling down, but I do have perfectionist traits that I am trying to drop as well. But I started working on this when I quit my job in 2005 - I had a nervous breakdown and decided I could not live with that pressure anymore.

I have also lowered my expectations, but again I did this for another reason. I decided that if I lower my expectations, I will be surprised by the smallest of things! (Maybe I lowered it too low! HAHA)

But good for you for accepting you have a problem... that's the first step. It's the other 11 steps I have a problem with!

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SILVER1369 8/10/2012 6:33PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SparkFriends may come and go BUT this is YOUR journey

Monday, August 06, 2012

Hi,

I admit I have become despondent in the past when certain SparkFriends of mine have a) stopped posting, b) removed me as a friend, and c) deleted their Spark accounts all together.

We all know how busy and hectic our own lives get at times so why do we suspect that our SparkFriends are no different? Our priorities change and we really have to stop blaming our lack of success on lack of support by virtual friends who we may never actually meet.

I'm guilty as charged with regards to that last statement and I will be the first one to admit that I kinda (ok, a whole lot of) secretly played the blame game. You know, where you go, well, I posted a blog and so and so didn't respond so I'm just a complete failure. Or is that my low self-esteem talking?

Maybe the friends you don't hear from just need some support right now or they might even need a Spark break. I have about ten or fifteen core friends who have stood by me in good times and in bad. Sometimes I feel so guilty when I read that they have commented on a blog and it has been ages since I was in touch with them. As much as I appreciate their contact, maybe I am not at that point right now where I can contact them back and they are fine with that. Now, that is what I call true friendship.

So here is a bouquet of flowers for my core friends emoticon emoticon emoticon and I think you know who you are!!!

I have other friends, who I would love to hear from more often but that is just the way life is. It doesn't mean that I don't think of them or wish them 100% success. I am not mean....I might be many things but I hope I am not mean!

Because this is MY journey I am focusing on what works for me. I might not be running marathons (although I would love to run one day!), I might not spend endless hours at the gym (I have to get back to some basic ST), and my nutritional intake might not be where some of you are.....but this is about ME.

I have to applaud each step I make in the right direction and forget all those where I slipped and tripped.

Today's goals- drink my water (done)
deep condition my hair (in the process....I'm such the fright to look at now with a shower cap on)
I ate a really healthy lunch
I have supper planned out
I am Sparking
I am taking the dogs out for a hike tonight (we walked 5km last night)
And, I lost two pounds since last week

So, remember this is YOUR journey. Nobody can do it for us (unfortunately!) and if they could I would be a skimpy size 6 now instead of a skimpy sized 20! ha! I applaud each of you on the steps that you are making on your own journey....and hey, I might even get in touch. I am so bad with that right now!

Hugs to you all. I want each of you who reads this to smile brightly and know that somewhere I am thinking about you! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOANNANOW 8/10/2012 10:54AM

    Hi Susan,
I have been lax about sparking and about food. It is wonderful to find you reaching out and in such a good frame of mind. I have been swimming almost every day and that for me is perfection. My grand daughter is visiting from Southern BC and it was a wonderful surprise when she showed up! I'm not sure why I am in such a bad rut with food but the swimming is a good thing so I am not getting down on myself.
I know I will come around eventually and I am rolling with the flow for now.
I'm so glad you are doing so well now. emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 8/9/2012 11:15AM

    WOW! First blog I've read in a long, long time, and I'm glad it was YOURS!!! emoticon
Hey, and thanks for the flowers cuz I KNOW I'm at the TOP emoticon
Susan, you are SO RIGHT! I am very often (when I am regular and plugged in to SP) the one who frets and berates herself when others don't respond or comment the way I'd hoped they would! SILLY ME! emoticon

Anyway, this IS a journey EACH of us make, and hopefully, we can remember that it isn't about what OTHERS think of us (even though they think far better of us than we probably ever imagined!)!

Your blog was fantastic, my dear, dear friend! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EJOY-EVELYN 8/8/2012 1:45AM

    Marathons are not for me. As a person who loves to dovetail (workout while reading, driving, and listening or watching a great program), I can't find myself wanting to go to the gym. You can do this because you deserve it.

I know I go in spurts when it comes to Facebook and I seem to be ending a busy spurt where I felt the need to let the world know just where I was (with a photo, naturally). Just because one of my brothers tells people when he goes to the gym to Spin, or go to a major league baseball game or sports function, doesn't mean I have to. Am glad to be working gently in the background to regain my 5-lb cushion (may take several more weeks).

By the way, know that you're not alone . . . part of me still regrets that my original "best SparkFriend" left her Spark three times to reinvent herself and was not here when I celebrated my 100-lb weight loss. I still miss her and pray that she finds her way to wanting good health (without all the work of dieting some of us put on ourselves).
emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/8/2012 1:50:09 AM

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ANGGEL40 8/7/2012 10:00PM

    Thank you..because I just recently blogged about something like this..and you are right it's my journey and I don't have to depend on no one but myself and God to make it through...I was blaming others for lack of support..but I see I am my biggest supporter..Awesome Blog and Good Luck on your journey...God Bless!

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LYNNWILK2 8/7/2012 5:51PM

    So true Susan, we can believe in our friends and be there for them whenever possible. But our individual journey's are just that.

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GLORYANDME 8/7/2012 9:49AM

    Your blog reminds me of the rhyme:
Make new friends but keep the old
some are silver and the others gold!
Best wishes on your journey! You are doing great!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOPESINGH 8/7/2012 5:26AM

    I can identify so much with what you're saying. I used to do that too - measure how much "love" I get from friends, and see how it compares to what they give others. And then obviously assume it's all my fault.
Another thing - is it possible that at the end of they day, you remember more and suffer more because of what you didn't get, than what you did get? Another familiar bad habit.

Continue your journey for you, many of us will still be here to cheer you on! emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/7/2012 5:26:54 AM

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Q8PRINCESS 8/7/2012 1:47AM

    Sometimes people are just in your life for a short while but you still get something special by knowing them.

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KAYDE53 8/6/2012 9:09PM

    emoticonon your weight loss!!!! emoticon Sounds like you're doing great at goal setting & sticking to them! I try to keep up with my SP friends as best I can, although this has been a rough summer for me, lots of things going on. I've taken several short one or two day breaks this summer, which I don't usually do, but I just needed it this year. But when weeks go into months & years, then the person usually has given up or quit & that's too bad, but I have had Spark friends show up again after really long absences & start over.

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JLITT62 8/6/2012 5:44PM

    Sometimes I have nothing to say . . . sometimes if I don't read a blog right away I get unsubscribed & have to remember to resubscribe . . . for me blogs are tbe core of SP, but not for e erroneous -- we're all different.

Here's to great spark buddies!

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ANGRITTER 8/6/2012 5:35PM

    Oh, Susan. When am I coming up there again? Seems like you need a swift kick in the caboose to get you happy again! LOL

I love your blogs, I have enjoyed everything you ave written on my pictures and my page. You are right... we are a LOT alike. Always looking for a modicum of trouble to get into, and ever ready to led the helping hand or say something to get someone laughing and on the right track.

I think you are amazing, so cut yourself some slack and enjoy. I love the fact that you are doing 5k with the pups evenings. And I wish I could just get up and walk (to the fridge - JK)! I can't do any cardio right now, and I would gladly walk YOU and your pups if I had my way about it!

Hug yourself really tight and know that we care about you and we won't let you float away.

Whenever I can, I try to go back and check people's pages to see what they are up to and sometimes just to drop a line to those who have not been on in a while. Usually when someone drops out of sight for some time, they are feeling down or just done with it... until the next time they try.

I have to work my way through all of your photos, but I'll get there!

Big ((((HUGS)))) to you!
Angela

Comment edited on: 8/6/2012 5:37:19 PM

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CHLOE453 8/6/2012 5:31PM

    Beautiful blog Susan. You are so right this journey is totally for YOU!! We can help each other along the way but ultimately you are the one that matters most.

You are right about Sparkfriends, many come and go in time. I have a bad tendency that if the person has not logged on for the past 50 days, I usually delete them (that probably is not a good idea huh).

I love how you made up "today"s goals" that is really something that I should think about since right now I have no goals other than losing weight....nothing motivational, no rewards.....I will work on that.

Thank you so much for being such a good Sparkfriend, it means so much to me. Congrats on the 2 lb loss...see we are doing it!!!! Have a wonderful evening.....Kelly

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POPSY190 8/6/2012 3:43PM

    Sometimes people let you know when and why they are leaving, which is good. Sometimes they even come back! I think for a number Spark becomes another try-out that just doesn't work for them. I think your view of "core" is the best way to go as you get to know them better and they are less likely to just disappear.
But the best bit of this blog is hearing of your success in planning and carrying out (with canine love and support emoticon emoticon) your own healthy life. Kia kaha, Susan

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KANSASROSE67 8/6/2012 3:35PM

    You're right...we have to remember that Spark is a tool and that not everyone uses it in the same way. And how I use it changes as my life ebbs and flows. Right now I'm going through a time where I'm probably "taking" more than I'm giving, but I know that balance will change again eventually.

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THETURTLEBEAR 8/6/2012 3:34PM

    Well put (from someone who isn't on as much as she used to be, but still values her Spark Friends like YOU).

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JOANNAIMREADY 8/6/2012 2:57PM

    I'm smiling brightly!

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BOVEY63 8/6/2012 2:11PM

    Great plan for today!
emoticon
Happy to be on this journey with you!
emoticon emoticon

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_LINDA 8/6/2012 1:36PM

    You are so right Susan. This is your journey, your life, your weight loss goals. Its wonderful to have Spark friends to interact with, but sometimes life does get in the way and they can't be there for you 24/7. Like you say true friends will always check in here and there where they can and generally hang around or let you know if they are going away or will be away for a long absence. But this is really about you and what you can do for YOU. The tools on this website are wonderful for that and you can interact with others as much or as little as you feel like. Sometimes, you may just need some space.
Just know that when ever you 'disappear" or take time off for a while, my thoughts will be with you, hoping you can make it out of the latest depressive episode or can get through what ever bad problem has gotten in your way.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ILOVEMALI 8/6/2012 1:35PM

  I also worry about people who disappear. I try not to take anything personally, but I do recognize that I'm not a very good team member because of my life time constraints and because I don't think that I've ever been a good team member. I've subscribed to your blog and to other blogs so I can try to "keep up. "

Please know that I am sending moral support even when I don't check in! Xoxo

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ANNCHER 8/6/2012 1:29PM

    I know what you mean. I wonder about some of the SP friends I have met & then I have not heard from them any more. Sometimes I get too busy to post myself.

I just hope everyone is happy & reaching goals they want to accomplish.
Have a great day! Hugs! emoticon

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Tomorrow is going to be a great day....if I have anything to do with it

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Dear Self,

Yet another letter to you, my friend, to help you realize that you are worth the effort of making little changes to your lifestyle. In the end, it will all be so worthwhile. But, in reality, there is no "end", for a healthy lifestyle has to be, just that, a lifestyle.

Right now, you are concentrating on what you are doing wrong. Yes, you weigh more than you ever have before but you've also gained the knowledge on what you have to do to change that. You've been eating like a piggy and you know that if you continue this you will end up with a four-axe handle width arse emoticon and that look is so last year!

So, what have you done today that is good? Well, you made the oatmeal mix that was featured in the SparkPeople cookbook. Didn't you feel healthier just by making it? If you eat a bowl of that each morning you will be off to a good start. You also have a healthy supper planned out and have drank your water. Tonight you will go for a walk with the dogs and then you will go to bed happy, that for today, you made good choices.

Tomorrow can be a great day as well - it all comes down to how you plan and deal with it. Yes, you are having your first weigh in and you know it isn't going to be a good one but that one step is getting you closer to your goals.

I love you chickie!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGRITTER 8/6/2012 5:27PM

    And we love you too!!! don't forget about us! And your doggies love you too!

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BOVEY63 8/6/2012 11:18AM

    emoticon emoticon

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_LINDA 8/6/2012 1:19AM

    Great self talk! Way to work it!! You WILL have a Marvelous Monday -because you are planning it to be so!
You go girl!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Q8PRINCESS 8/6/2012 12:16AM

    It reminds me of the Irish Rovers song "Years May Come, Years May Go"

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KAYDE53 8/5/2012 9:21PM

    Good blog! Yep, it's just one day at a time!!! Have a great tomorrow! emoticon

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SUSANS706 8/5/2012 7:15PM

    Day by day, that's all we can do!! Great post!!! You can do it!!!!

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SHEILA-45 8/5/2012 6:35PM

    Love your sense of humor Susan! I think we all need to have a little chat with ourselves from time to time... emoticon You're doing great emoticon

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CHLOE453 8/5/2012 6:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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POPSY190 8/5/2012 6:07PM

    Terrific bit of self-talk. emoticon

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ILOVEMALI 8/5/2012 5:10PM

  My self thinks that your self is pretty darn great!

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BLACK741 8/5/2012 4:48PM

    so true day by day and choice by choice we get to where we are going. Good luck on your choices and your days and so glad you have the dogs to walk with!

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GAYLE-G-63 8/5/2012 4:27PM

    LOL @ and that look is so last year!

Susan,

What a great blog! I'm struggling and this really did brighten my outlook. Thank you so much for sharing! You're a doll!!!

Huggz,
~Gayle~

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OFFICIALOLDY 8/5/2012 3:12PM

    We do take it day by day, don't we? Each day has it's own victories and setbacks. So we celebrate the victories and learn from the setbacks! Weigh in are just one picture of one point in time. Good luck tomorrow .... and next week ...... and the week after.... and so on.

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