Friday, August 17, 2012
For those who know me you know we have found ourselves in debt for the first time ever over the past year or so. To be quite honest (and when am I never...much to my embarassment) I have been like ostrich with my head in the sand for much of my life.
I was neither allowed nor given any financial independence throughout my formative years. Basics were provided and we ate well. I wasn't spoiled by any means but I also wasn't allowed to make any decisions when it came to money and how to spend it. I went to university never knowing how much it cost my parents and I lived with them until I married at age 34. Yes, I did have a credit card and a job but I didn't spend much money and I always paid my credit card off when I did. Okay, so I lived a spoiled life then as all I ever paid for was my gas.
Then I got married and my husband had a pretty good job. I worked too but never knew even how much money I made. I never so much as looked at any bills coming into the house. And, I started spending money. Not, a lot of money, but keeping a house going does require some money.
Long story short - John's company closed up and there went 400 jobs in a small town. For three years we lived on savings (we were lucky) but now it is getting tight. We owe more than I would like to admit and are going to take out a small mortgage on our house to make monthly payments easier to handle.
Problem is I think my husband is getting really depressed over the whole situation. He was always the "take charge" kind of guy and by that, I don't mean controlling. He is now working and I will return to my part-time seasonal job in a few weeks. So, I am taking over to ease some of the pressure on him.
I will be the first one to admit that I don't have a clue about money and so I am getting help with that with our bank. They are going to get us back on track and then I will take over from there. We are also going to set up a budget to live on and I think this will really help us in a lot of ways. For one thing, meal planning will become a requirement and that will help us both towards our healthy lifestyle goals.
Oh, and did I mention John is one stack of paper away from being a hoarder? He keeps everything and keeps it forever! We have every statement, every paycheque, every envelope etc that ever entered into our home. I told him I was going to set up electronic billing and he was actually interested in it.
So, today, my challenges included, walking the dogs (done), drinking my water (done), opening envelopes and sorting through the mess on our dining room table (done), buying a few organizational tools (like a portable file holder thing - done), and starting a filing system...not done. I have all receipts stacked up and will go through them as I watch television later on tonight and I have the kitchen tidied up. Whew.
I am not going to drown in paperwork! I am not...darn it...I'm NOT!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Let's see if my computer let's me post this before I lose it as has been the case for the past several weeks. We desperately need to have our computer cleaned up but that has to wait until we have our finances are in order which should be about a month from now!
I do some of my best thinking while walking the dogs and lucky for you, my dogs get walked everyda! Ha! So, while Maddy, Louisa, and Ginger were on squirrel and moose patrol last night I had a long conversation with myself. And to think people get locked away for talking to themselves. I try to keep my lips from moving in case the psychiatric police are lurking nearby and so far I've been undetected!
The past week has been an interesting one to say the least. I wrote a blog, SparkGuy responded, and suddenly I'm famous! Okay, famous in my own mind. I mean, come on now, how did I become a Spark Motivator? Me, who has been on Spark for two years and an now heavier than when I started?
And, then it dawned on me. Spark is a means to self-improvement. It is NOT a diet website. I might not have the diet thing mastered but my life has improved a lot since I was first directed to Spark. For those who don't know the story, it was my dog's vet who told me about Spark for she believes that healthy humans lead to healthy pets.
So, where have I come in two years? I'm still mentally ill but now I talk about my bouts of depression and S.A.D. with ease rather than humiliation. I now drink 8 glasses of water each day without thinking about it. I now feel guilty if I don't walk each day and I look forward to counting up the kms I've walked.
Where would I like to be? Well, to be honest, my weight problem still plagues me but with any journey you can't do it all at once. I also talked myself into believing it can be done. Am I the only one here who has been going through the motions but deep down doesn't believe I can actually lose the weight? AND, I'm a Spark Motivator.
At first I was alarmed that I was selected a motivator (okay, after my three minutes of fame I basically had a panic attack) but like I said above Spark is a tool. We all use it differently. For me, up until this point, Spark has helped me discover myself and to even like myself. Now, I realize it is time to get serious and stop letting the thoughts of being 50+ pounds overweight stop me in my tracks. But, that, my friends is fodder for another days walk!
Thanks to all of you who believe in me!
Monday, August 06, 2012
I admit I have become despondent in the past when certain SparkFriends of mine have a) stopped posting, b) removed me as a friend, and c) deleted their Spark accounts all together.
We all know how busy and hectic our own lives get at times so why do we suspect that our SparkFriends are no different? Our priorities change and we really have to stop blaming our lack of success on lack of support by virtual friends who we may never actually meet.
I'm guilty as charged with regards to that last statement and I will be the first one to admit that I kinda (ok, a whole lot of) secretly played the blame game. You know, where you go, well, I posted a blog and so and so didn't respond so I'm just a complete failure. Or is that my low self-esteem talking?
Maybe the friends you don't hear from just need some support right now or they might even need a Spark break. I have about ten or fifteen core friends who have stood by me in good times and in bad. Sometimes I feel so guilty when I read that they have commented on a blog and it has been ages since I was in touch with them. As much as I appreciate their contact, maybe I am not at that point right now where I can contact them back and they are fine with that. Now, that is what I call true friendship.
So here is a bouquet of flowers for my core friends and I think you know who you are!!!
I have other friends, who I would love to hear from more often but that is just the way life is. It doesn't mean that I don't think of them or wish them 100% success. I am not mean....I might be many things but I hope I am not mean!
Because this is MY journey I am focusing on what works for me. I might not be running marathons (although I would love to run one day!), I might not spend endless hours at the gym (I have to get back to some basic ST), and my nutritional intake might not be where some of you are.....but this is about ME.
I have to applaud each step I make in the right direction and forget all those where I slipped and tripped.
Today's goals- drink my water (done)
deep condition my hair (in the process....I'm such the fright to look at now with a shower cap on)
I ate a really healthy lunch
I have supper planned out
I am Sparking
I am taking the dogs out for a hike tonight (we walked 5km last night)
And, I lost two pounds since last week
So, remember this is YOUR journey. Nobody can do it for us (unfortunately!) and if they could I would be a skimpy size 6 now instead of a skimpy sized 20! ha! I applaud each of you on the steps that you are making on your own journey....and hey, I might even get in touch. I am so bad with that right now!
Hugs to you all. I want each of you who reads this to smile brightly and know that somewhere I am thinking about you!
Sunday, August 05, 2012
Yet another letter to you, my friend, to help you realize that you are worth the effort of making little changes to your lifestyle. In the end, it will all be so worthwhile. But, in reality, there is no "end", for a healthy lifestyle has to be, just that, a lifestyle.
Right now, you are concentrating on what you are doing wrong. Yes, you weigh more than you ever have before but you've also gained the knowledge on what you have to do to change that. You've been eating like a piggy and you know that if you continue this you will end up with a four-axe handle width arse and that look is so last year!
So, what have you done today that is good? Well, you made the oatmeal mix that was featured in the SparkPeople cookbook. Didn't you feel healthier just by making it? If you eat a bowl of that each morning you will be off to a good start. You also have a healthy supper planned out and have drank your water. Tonight you will go for a walk with the dogs and then you will go to bed happy, that for today, you made good choices.
Tomorrow can be a great day as well - it all comes down to how you plan and deal with it. Yes, you are having your first weigh in and you know it isn't going to be a good one but that one step is getting you closer to your goals.
I love you chickie!
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