PCOH051610   51,832
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PCOH051610's Recent Blog Entries

CHLOE453 and I are having an adventure - we are both starting over

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Hi,

Well, look out SparkWorld as CHLOE453 (Kelly) and I (Susan) have decided to join forces and be each other's supportive cheerleader. Although thousands of miles are between us, we are vowing to touch base as often as possible throughout the day either through Spark or regular e-mail.

Because we all face different challenges, she has told me what she is going to focus on this first week and I have done the same. My first goals are short and sweet. Drink 8 glasses of water each day, exercise for at least 10 minutes a day, and to eat a healthy breakfast.

The first two are achieveable (or at least I think they are!) but the last one is the one I have difficulty with. I used to eat a Tim Hortons Wheat and Honey bagel with peanut butter every morning....costly in so many ways...nutritionally and financially. Then I switched to a McDonald's orange cranberry muffin...I'm afraid to even look up the nutritional values of that. So, breakfast will be my battle right now.

Today, I had ate a bowl of President's Choice Blue Menu (Canadian brand) Multi-grain Os. Here is the comparison side by side of the nutritional content (I got uo enough nerve to look it up). The muffin is first and the cereal second

Calories 360 vs. 110
Fat 8 vs. 0.4
Saturated Fat 1 vs. 0
Cholessterol Both 0
Sodium 330 vs. 120
Carbohydrate 66 vs. 25
Fibre 2 vs. 7
Protein 6 vs. 2

And, to the cereal I added a cup of skim milk so I did a lot better with that than I did the muffin. Need to add some fruit and some nuts tomorrow to make it more filling.


If you are reading this would you do me a favour? Would you drop by CHLOE453's page and wish her well and tell her that I sent you. She will be thrilled with the support.

We are going to do this...one little supportive comment, one little daily adjustment at a time. YEAH!!!!



P.S. I did well on the other two goals as well. I walked 2.75 km with the dogs this afternoon and have my 8 glasses of water drank!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOVEY63 8/1/2012 2:13PM

    You're off to a great start! Nice that you have a Spark Partner!
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JOANNANOW 8/1/2012 11:18AM

    Good plan! emoticon

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HOPESINGH 8/1/2012 6:02AM

    you're off to a great start. Good luck!

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JLITT62 8/1/2012 5:09AM

    Good job! Actually, the muffin isn't that terrible - it even has more protein! - so it could certainly be an occasional treat.

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_LINDA 8/1/2012 1:18AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Great work Susan! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day I feel. Its my biggest calorie meal and I don't think I would make it through the day without it. My staple is a fruit shake, quick, easy and automatically get three fruit servings :)
So glad you found a Goal buddy! You two are going to do this!!
Love to hear this enthusiasm!
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Q8PRINCESS 8/1/2012 12:53AM

    Go for it - sounds great!

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CODEMAULER 7/31/2012 8:28PM

    What a super idea - you can totally do this!!

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POPSY190 7/31/2012 7:43PM

    A buddy is such a good idea for support and accountability! emoticon

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CHLOE453 7/31/2012 6:59PM

    Oh Susan you did fantastic today, I am sooo proud of you!!! Thanks so much for all the support from yourself as well as your Sparkfriends, it is really helping me more than you can imagine (as I do not want to fail you or myself now). I did get my 15 minutes of exercise in today, wow it really pooped me out. Hopefully before too long I will be back up to 30-45 minutes.

GO GIRL, KEEP UP THE GREAT JOB YOU ARE DOING!!!! Hugs~~~Kelly

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ILOVEMALI 7/31/2012 6:24PM

  Good for you! We all need our support buddies! emoticon

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ANGRITTER 7/31/2012 6:08PM

    Good for you! And so glad you have a personal cheerleader... that makes you very special!

I have issues with breakfast to, but usually because I don't eat it, or I wake up in the middle of the night and eat breakfast and then go back to bed until 9 or 10 am. Bad moves, both of them!

Today I have a bagel with SKinny Cow cream Cheese spread over it. That's probably as close to healthy as I am going to get for breakfast. It's either that or nothing. I do eat cereal for lunch sometimes, but the carbs are killer!

Hope today is going well! I still wish I could go out there and go walking! Or just to be able to mow the grass! It's stil grating on my nerves that no one has mowed yet!

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MARYANN2323 7/31/2012 5:55PM

    emoticon

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GOANNA2 7/31/2012 5:54PM

    I like your plan. Small steps make big changes. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Oh, dear! My dogs have just found out they were adopted...picture

Monday, July 30, 2012



Secretly, I think my dogs are kind of relieved they were not born to us.......adoption made it all the more happier!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILVER1369 8/9/2012 9:21AM

    emoticon

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BOVEY63 7/31/2012 3:12PM

    Too cute!
Yours are three darn lucky dogs to have been adopted by you and your hubby!

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JOANNANOW 7/31/2012 10:58AM

    Funny! emoticon emoticon
Happy Tuesday. emoticon

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_LINDA 7/31/2012 9:01AM

    emoticon LOVE it!

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INGMARIE 7/31/2012 8:32AM

    Great way to start the day, emoticonloved it.,,
Yes, adoption is the way to go. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WALKZWDOGZ 7/31/2012 7:42AM

    I already commented but had to come by again. Needed to start the day with a smile! emoticon emoticon

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TDWANDD2MYK9 7/31/2012 4:29AM

    Fabulous!!! emoticon

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KARENCRANER 7/31/2012 1:42AM

    Too darn cute! My Jackson, twice adopted, concurs wholeheartedly!

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Q8PRINCESS 7/31/2012 1:21AM

    emoticon

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WALKZWDOGZ 7/30/2012 11:45PM

    emoticon All of my kids were adopted as adults or well, sort of seniors. They're definitely family though. Considering how they look at me occasionally as "Stupid Human", I'd say they're also relieved to be adopted!

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PAMNANGEL 7/30/2012 8:03PM

    Love that adoption option!

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ILOVEMALI 7/30/2012 4:54PM

  Love the photo! All of our fur kids are adopted, too!

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ANGRITTER 7/30/2012 4:49PM

    Thanks so much for the laugh today. Love that picture! You are too funny and I love checking in with you!

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SHEILA-45 7/30/2012 3:24PM

    LOL... Charlie adopted me and I get that look from her all the time! emoticon

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SUSANBEAMON 7/30/2012 2:39PM

  emoticon

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NANAW12001 7/30/2012 2:39PM

  This is so cute. Thanks.

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SHORTTOOTH1 7/30/2012 2:31PM

    That is the Cutest Picture! Thanks for sharing.

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GAYLE-G-63 7/30/2012 2:31PM

    I'm sure my cats feel the same way!!! emoticon

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GARDENNINJA 7/30/2012 2:27PM

    Rescue dogs are the BEST!!! emoticon

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Our weather - a break from the winds from the polar bears bums

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Hi,

Newfoundland, being an island surronded by the cold North Atlantic ocean, is known for many things such as lifestyle, air quality, and friendliness of her people but we are not known for our good weather. Of course, people who live on the mainland (mainland meaning the rest of Canada) often see the forecast for Newfoundland and don't realize that the interior of an island is quite different from the reports taken on the coast. It really doesn't help either that St. John's (our capital city) is on the far east coast and has some of the worse weather ever.

Which brings me to today's topic. If you listened to the forecast for today it is rainy and foggy with a high of 13 degrees celcius on the coastal regions. Meanwhile where we live it is 28 degrees and sunny. It has been like this most of the summer for us....six weeks of purely beautiful weather. Humidity is a rarity here too which make it so nice and there is generally a gentle breeze blowing from some polar bear's bum to keep things from getting too bad.

I hope Lori_Little read that last part....the true expression in Newfoundland when we have a cold, northerly wind is "the wind is coming at us straight from the polar bear's arse today". I know she loves our expressions and I apologize to anyone who thinks my language is too "coarse".

I know a lot of you are sweltering in the heat and all that it brings with you. I was talking to two couples a few nights ago who drove their motorhomes from Texas to beat the heat and who love the refreshing nip to the air here. I really don't know how 28 degrees can be refreshing but I guess it is the type of heat.

We are leaving shortly to take our dogs to a nearby river where they can cool down and where their "mommy and daddy" can put their feet in the water too. Louisa will enjoy having sticks thrown out to her and Maddy and Ginger will enjoy chasing the little birds that hang about the shore.

Went to the dogpark last night and poor Lou got attacked by a disobedient doberman. I'm not "breed pointing" here but the dog has to wear a shock collar so maybe the door park is NOT the place to bring her. She has an one inch tear through her ear which we are keeping a very close eye on. We are flushing it with saline and putting antibiotic cream on it. Keep your paws crossed that it doesn't become infected. Poor LouLou

Must go off to cool down our doggies. If you want to drop by our island - feel free and look me up!

xo Susan

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOVEY63 7/31/2012 3:12PM

    Keep enjoying that beautiful weather.
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Hope LouLou heals quickly.
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JOANNANOW 7/30/2012 12:27PM

    Ouch! Poor doggie.

Do you know any remedies for a dog that got sprayed by a skunk? I have heard that tomato juice helps but have never had the occasion to try it. My grand daughter is pretty upset with her boxer who went in the house and jumped on the couch right after he got stinky!

The weather here seems so similar to the weather you get. Thank goodness we usually have not got the humidity problem that I remember so well growing up in Montreal.

Happy summer to you and the pups! emoticon

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HICKOK-HALEY 7/29/2012 10:14PM

    The river sounds like a lot of fun for the dogs. Relaxing for you too. Poor Lou. I also hope the ear heals good. emoticon

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HOPESINGH 7/29/2012 3:23PM

    I can actually imagine how 28 degrees can be refreshing. We've been having temperatures over 30 lately, which is not at all normal for July in my part of Israel, and the humidity is high too. It's definitely coming from somebody's arse, just not a polar bear!
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JLITT62 7/29/2012 5:08AM

    Poor Louisa! Hope there are no lasting effects. So frightening & frustrating!

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Q8PRINCESS 7/29/2012 1:45AM

    Love the expressions. Poor Lou, not very nice to be attacked, Lucy Bella understands as she was attacked as well. For cooling down how about 35C feeling cool! Yup, temps at the 50C mark or just a little above, 35C feels down right chilly! Love to send you some of our hot weather.

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_LINDA 7/29/2012 12:26AM

    So very sorry about Lou :( That is absolutley right a dog needing to wear a shock collar should not be in an off leash park :(( Our Bendix had the same thing happen to him, by a dog even bigger then him. We joked he now had an earring hole, he was a tough dog and it never even fazed him, he didn't even retailate, just looked at the dog like he was nuts (and he was -this dog would attack any other dog that came too near, he should have never been allowed in the park either) Hi name was Tuffy naturally.
I am so glad you are having such a great summer weather wise! It does seem grim all those coastal reports. Wonder where all our non stop winds come from -too far from Polar Bears ;)
Kepp on Sparking and enjoying life!
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CHUBRUB3 7/28/2012 6:53PM

    One day I would love to look you up Susan.
Hope Lou is fine, poor sweetie.
Love your expressions!! Keep them coming!
Hugs
Angela

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EJOY-EVELYN 7/28/2012 6:04PM

    Oh how I would enjoy 28! (I had to Google the conversion to 82F). When I'm in a home with airconditioning, it typically doesn't go on until it is almost 27C.

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CODEMAULER 7/28/2012 5:03PM

    Your summer sounds like my kind of summer. I'd much rather be cool with a breeze than this humid crud we're getting.

For the record, my Dad had had a fabulous Dobie. She was a rescue dog and a beautiful friend. I know that may be the exception, but anything is possible.

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SHEILA-45 7/28/2012 4:14PM

    Hi Susan! I would love a breeze about now from the bear's bum! LOL I love your colorful descriptions. It's so humid in Atlanta a nice breeze would feel wonderful.

Hope your babies are doing well after their adventure in the park. I don't understand some owners tho...Kenzie has leash aggression so I keep her away from other dogs when we're out. She's a sweetheart and very friendly but being around other dogs when she's on a leash is not a good thing.
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Enjoy tickling your toes in the water! emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/28/2012 4:15:09 PM

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ANGRITTER 7/28/2012 3:51PM

    Hello, Susan. I am in Jacksonville, Florida and can't stand it right now. I have a broken leg right now and thankfully not yet in a full cast so I can unwrap it and get some airflow. Also, I had company this morning so I went out into the living room and it was blazing hot in there! The game room on the other side of the glass doors has no a/c, so it always heats up the LR. It is almost 4 pm and still 103 degrees out with the heat index.

I was born in Friendship, NY, so I was not made for this heat. I melt, my dogs melt, the plants are starting to look horrible. I don't remember last year being like this. Oh yeah, I spent last year in bed depressed.

Would love to get to Canada and since it isn't far from home base it would be an easy trip. My father used to take the school band into Canada for trips. (This was in the 70's.) All I know is that I know one other person in Newfoundland and have never thought your expressions "coarse". The rougher the better, I say!

Enjoy the water and your pups. Mine are laying on the AC vents right now.

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ILOVEMALI 7/28/2012 3:30PM

  I've never been to Canada but have seen beautiful Newfoundland on tv and read descriptions in books. Some day!!

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~I went for a walk yesterday~ (Includes a GREAT picture) (smile)

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Hello-

Ironic, isn't it? How I went for a walk yesterday and feel so good about it when just a few short months ago walking was such a part of my life that I took it for granted.

In fact the last time I recorded any fitness minutes was on June 10th and this is despite having three dogs who definitely need daily walks. Okay, to be clear the dogs DID get walked as my husband did it but I missed the excitement of it all.

On Monday we met with our bank and found a workable solution for our mounting debt. I think that was really taking its toll on me and if you have never had a creditor call you please let me tell you it is totally a demoralizing experience.

The relief I felt at the bank was so huge I cried! Yep, I started to cry then and there which goes to show you all the toll our situation was taking on my mental state. We are taking out a small mortgage on our home (I've never had a mortgage before) and that will pay off the debt which built up over three years of my husband not working. I know we have to be diligent with our money from here on in but we were advised to go the mortgage route instead of dipping into our retirement savings. The rate is 3% whereas our credit card is 18.5%.

Anyway, to get to the point of my blog is that I felt like going for a walk last night so off I went. I walked Louisa first and then repeated the same route with Maddy and Ginger together. I'm not sure how long it was but it felt good!

Here is the promised picture :



From left to right: Maddy, Louisa and Ginger

They are all posing with my Tilley hat (Canadian brand) and I kind of think Louisa looks like Anne of Green Gables in it! (Another Canadian thing)

xo Susan

P.S. I am hitting post without doing a spell check because the last few times I lost everything when I clicked on spell check.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGRITTER 7/28/2012 3:54PM

    Beautiful pups in the hat! In your 7/28 blog you mentioned one getter her ear hurt by a bad Dobie. I understand. I had 2 Dobies, but they were a year apart from the same mommy and daddy. They were big babies and would only lick you to death.

If the Dobie has to be on a shock collar, the doggy park is NO place for it. Whether it is a Dobie or a Chihuahua with a bad attitude. People should be held responsible!

But your babies are just precious and look like they love it by the water!!

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GOANNA2 7/28/2012 8:57AM

    I love that picture of your dogs. So cute.
Susan, that is wonderful news about the arrangement with the bank.
The stressors in your life have eased and now you can move forward
with renewed confidence to emoticon emoticon emoticon
Have a wonderful weekend.

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BOVEY63 7/26/2012 2:37PM

    How wonderful that you were able to work out something with the bank. I sure do understand how difficult it can get.

I absolutely love the pictures of the fur babies - they are adorable!
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HOPESINGH 7/26/2012 3:46AM

    It's great that you can now be calmer about the debt. I know how bad I would have felt, so I understand your distress.
You really made me laugh with the comparison between Louisa and Anne of green gables!

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EJOY-EVELYN 7/26/2012 1:13AM

    Glad for the relief and you're right . . . a terrific set of photos. One big step made and achieved. Hope you have many more to come!

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GAYLE-G-63 7/25/2012 9:36PM

    Glad things are going better, Susan.

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KARENCRANER 7/25/2012 7:44PM

    I'm so glad to hear about your lifted burden. I don't know why, but weight and money are both so darn personal and challenging to be open about. Thank you, Sparkfriend, for sharing! And, congratulations on your walks yesterday!

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RUNNER12COM 7/25/2012 6:04PM

    Find a solution and work it. You WILL get through this!

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_LINDA 7/25/2012 2:16PM

    Susan, so glad to hear this heavy burden has been lifted and you found a solution to your debt. So sorry you have to put a mortgage on your house though :(
Those fur babies are just adorable!!
Welcome back!
You will be racking up the miles and shedding those pounds in no time, with three happy puppies in tow :)
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CHUBRUB3 7/25/2012 1:28PM

    Your doing great Susan! Love the photos and your postive attitude.
Big hugs,
Angela

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KAYDE53 7/25/2012 12:16PM

    That picture is so precious!! Glad things are working out & you're getting a bit of the pressure relieved. I know walking and/or exercise is great at relieving stress!! emoticon

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ILOVEMALI 7/25/2012 11:40AM

  Money is such a stressor. I'm glad that you have found a solution.

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SHEILA-45 7/25/2012 11:31AM

    So glad for you that the bank was able to work WITH you and provide a very good rate. I tried to refinance my mortgage to get a lower rate but after reviewing the docs I determined it wasn't for me. Walking with your babies is wonderful and you get three times the pleasure! Love their hats! I enjoy seeing everyone's pics and your help earlier inspired me to start doing the same.

Stay strong and walk walk walk... you'll feel better and it will help with the stress. Hope all is well, take care. emoticon emoticon

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JOANNANOW 7/25/2012 11:12AM

    What a good speller you are! The financial solution sounds like clouds lifting! So good to hear that you are back in a position of control. You are very special Susan I feel good when you feel good!

Enjoy the summer weather.
Sending hugs,
Joanna emoticon

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NBARNES 7/25/2012 10:14AM

    Glad to hear you're figuring out some solutions. A very dear friend of mine is in the same situation - and walking has been her salvation. Husband has lost three jobs in the last five years, they lost their house and lived in a tiny apartment for a year, but were able to move recently into a tiny house she's buying on her own. She, unlike me, is not a stress eater and lost a lot of weight over the years. She's back on the road to good health though - and it's because of walking. She admits that she doesn't always want to do it, but feels the physical change immediately when she does it - she can feel her depression ease up.

So hang in there and keep up the walking - I'm sure those adorable little dogs will love you all the more for it!
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MILLISMA 7/25/2012 10:10AM

    So good to hear that things are starting to work out for you. Stress can do terrible things to the body.

Walking has always been my way to "clear my head". Of course, I feel better from the walk also.

By the way.....I love the pictures!!! They all look great in the hat. Priceless!!!

hugs....Mary Anne

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JLITT62 7/25/2012 10:10AM

    Well, we've a,ways had a mortgage. I think you'll do fine. And yes, that's a great pic!

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BILLETWIFE 7/25/2012 10:03AM

    Good Morning!!

So glad to hear that you are working out solutions to all of the challenges in your life right now. And finding that putting your feet on the pavement is a solution to the pressure inside of you.

I hope things begin to improve for you and your $$ situation. As that situation gels, please take time for yourself. Take your dogs for a walk, and maybe take the husband too. It is something you can both do to make at least the moment better.

Blessing

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Why did I stop loving myself

Monday, July 23, 2012

Hi,

Along the many side paths of my Spark journey I have stopped loving myself. Dang it, I`ve even stopped liking myself and that is just awful. I think, deep down inside, I view my ``steps off the beaten pathway`` to be quite the negative thing as opposed to what they really are and that is ``taking the road less travelled``.

I mean, really, would I really want to just go from Point A to Point B without seeing all of the far more interesting places along the way (where is my flippin` question mark gone) Yes, in two years of Spark (eek!|) I have seen many sides of myself that I had thought were long gone. I felt the pride of joining a gym and for going to it, I felt the pride of walking all of those kilometres, I felt the pride of making choices and for seeing how they made me feel.

So, did I really stop loving myself (again, that blasted question mark has disappeared!) I prefer to think that I am taking some unexpected side trips with unplanned detours. I know I will get back to the beaten path but right now I am still experimenting with establishing small changes that I can carry with me and not burden me down.

And, one of these days when I reach my weight loss goal I will be able to look back and say `this journey was about so much more than weigh loss for me` and I just as proud of reaching my destination as I am of the many sidetrips I took along the way!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNER12COM 7/24/2012 10:35PM

    You're in it for the long haul, and that's a good thing!

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HOPESINGH 7/24/2012 3:23AM

    Nobody walks on this path just straight ahead till they reach their goal. We all have to take the side roads from time to time, we're only human. Have you read "Being Happy", by Tal Ben Shahar? There's an illustration there of the difference between the ways people imagine their path to their goals, and the optimalist one is far from going straight ahead. But it's the recommended one.
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Q8PRINCESS 7/24/2012 2:38AM

    It doesn't all happen at once. You ARE going in the right direction and one day you will look back and realize you are loving yourself all the time.

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TXGRANDMA 7/23/2012 11:36PM

    I started this journey on Spark People with weight loss ONLY in mind. That is all I knew at the time. Now, though, it is all about being healthier to me and being more active so that as I age, I will remain active.

I am beginning to actually prefer fresh fruits and vegetables above other foods! It makes for more prep time and more frequent trips to the grocery store, but oh, so worth it!

I think all of us could benefit from more exercise, I know that I am! The weight loss now is just a side effect of a healthier lifestyle!

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MLH148 7/23/2012 10:44PM

    I like your idea of side roads making the journey richer.
I see too mant people commenting to believe the loveable nugget is gone. You just need to still yourself and let it shine bright.

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KAYDE53 7/23/2012 10:22PM

    It IS about more than weight loss; it's also about finding the reason behind the weight and it's usually different for each one. And there's the changes of better habits & exercise we can make along the way, which will help us lose too. Depression & low self-esteem are no friends to weight loss, that's true! But if I can find the real reason I overeat, I want to deal with it & remove it, so I can't move on to a better & more fit life!! emoticon emoticon

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POPSY190 7/23/2012 10:17PM

    It's the depression talking and the depression is not you! Even with only on-line knowledge of you I can see that you have much to like and love about yourself. Think about the person who supported her gran, about the woman who cherishes nature and gives animals love and care. There's much more ... Take care. emoticon

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JAMER123 7/23/2012 9:41PM

    I think all of us are finding this walk is much more than just weight loss. We are finding ourselves, what makes us tick, developing some lifelong friendships with people who understand where we came from and the difficult path we have chosen to walk to better health. I don't care how long it takes me to get to that final goal but it does matter what I learn as I go along. Friendships are the gold medal because they are all there to support you as you go! Taking one day or one hour at a time is what we look at and that makes anything attainable!! You are doing great! Keep the pace going at whatever pace you need to set!!
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_LINDA 7/23/2012 7:46PM

    The journey can't be all about weight loss. For in order to lose the weight, you HAVE to love yourself. You HAVE to feel you are worth it. You KNOW you are. When you plow your way back out of the depths, you will, once again, see the light. But no journey travels in a straight line. Life happens. Things happen, we get side tracked. A wall goes up we have to try figure out how to get around. Sometimes it seems you are just pounding away at it uselessly. But the key is to NEVER give up. You WILL get through. You can be all that you want to be.
You know we all love you, so you come right on in and love yourself so we can have one big group hugs!
You CAN do this! We will all be here for support, shoulder to lean on, shoulder to cry on, what ever you need.
Me, of the many typos and fumble fingers, once pushed a wrong button of unknown origin which caused my keyboard to change so that I lost punctuation features. I couldn't figure out how to change it back, so shut off my computer which fortunately, went back to my original settings :P
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EJOY-EVELYN 7/23/2012 7:13PM

    Take the time and effort to find whatever it takes to love yourself the way you are right now! If you're a woman of faith, then know God doesn't make mistakes and had the plans designed for you before you were knit in your mother's womb. You truly are both beautiful and loved far beyond what we might fully understand. If you can love yourself -- as you also are called to share that love with others -- then the incredible high you feel when you take the healthier road becomes an even more elated one. The way I see it, bring on the joy, praise, and thanksgiving! Unfortunately, if you don't like yourself now, you probably won't like yourself when you reach your goal weight (except for that surface euphoria that may only last a few weeks or a few months) landing you right back where you're at now. It's about love, love, love!

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ILOVEMALI 7/23/2012 6:54PM

  you should be proud that you are able to be so introspective and to ask the questions. Of course you love yourself -- sometimes we just forget! xoxo

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PONYFARMER 7/23/2012 6:53PM

    Susan~
I do not think you stopped loving yourself. You may be feeling any number of things but not not loving you. I know this b/c you come here and you track and you talk to us and you work at this journey we all are on. We will get there some day, both of us and when we do, we will be jumping for joy. What you and I have (depression), makes the journey for us so much more difficult. It is like dragging a bag of mud behind us, we try to carry it, we sling it on our back and get all gooey from it and it dribbles wet, mucky mud all down our backs and legs. We grow tried of it, at least I do and I often think, why does it have to be so hard, I want to be like everyone else we see on the journey skipping and laughing and running by us and we wonder, will we ever get there. Will we? Absolutely we will and we will celebrate like no tomorrow b/c we know the depths this journey has taken us. If for some reason your really do not love you, then I will love you until you do again. Others did that for me and now I will do it for you.
Big hugs my friend,
Deborah

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