Monday, July 23, 2012
Along the many side paths of my Spark journey I have stopped loving myself. Dang it, I`ve even stopped liking myself and that is just awful. I think, deep down inside, I view my ``steps off the beaten pathway`` to be quite the negative thing as opposed to what they really are and that is ``taking the road less travelled``.
I mean, really, would I really want to just go from Point A to Point B without seeing all of the far more interesting places along the way (where is my flippin` question mark gone) Yes, in two years of Spark (eek!|) I have seen many sides of myself that I had thought were long gone. I felt the pride of joining a gym and for going to it, I felt the pride of walking all of those kilometres, I felt the pride of making choices and for seeing how they made me feel.
So, did I really stop loving myself (again, that blasted question mark has disappeared!) I prefer to think that I am taking some unexpected side trips with unplanned detours. I know I will get back to the beaten path but right now I am still experimenting with establishing small changes that I can carry with me and not burden me down.
And, one of these days when I reach my weight loss goal I will be able to look back and say `this journey was about so much more than weigh loss for me` and I just as proud of reaching my destination as I am of the many sidetrips I took along the way!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
I just had a blog full of wit (ha!) and pictures written and somehow lost it all when I clicked on spell check. So here is a very condensed version of what it contained............
This is Ginger! We made the decision yesterday to go from fostering her to adopting her and have agreed that the adoption will be timed for our 12th wedding anniversary this weekend. Louisa was adopted for our 10th! John says we are not celebrating any more anniversaries with dogs BUT....ha!
Seriously, we think three is the limit for us but we are so happy to have her in our lives. Maddy has his nose out of joint a bit BUT has become a bit more cuddly since he sees Ginger climbing into my lap at every available moment!
More about them all later! Here is a cute picture of the three of them looking in through the patio screen door at me......
Bye..I'm off to play with the three fur bundles
Sunday, July 15, 2012
As I sat here today totally discouraged with the latest detour on my Spark journey I randomly flipped through blogs. Somehow and for some reason, I found this one BRAVENEWGRL and I cannot begin to explain how it has impacted me. I am going to print it off and read it and re-read it.
You all know I have been struggling. I've been struggling with my weigh, with finances, with depression, etc. I fell like crap to be completely honest and I know it is me and only me who holds the key to feeling better.
Repeat of my Day One starts tomorrow...look out because I'm back and I'm getting serious!
Saturday, July 07, 2012
I am in a pickle right now in several areas of my life. I have lost my Spark and I don't know how to go about finding it, igniting it, and keeping it carefully nurtured so the winds of change in my life don't blow it out.
While at my latest therapy appointment I was asked how I felt and I blurted out "unmotivated". I don't have the energy to get off the couch nor do I have the self-discipline to do something constructive about it.
Have others felt like this?
I make an attempt to eat well. Well, to be honest my attempts right now are to cut my nightly inhale the bag of Reese's mini peanut butter cups down to three nights a week.
I am drinking my water
I am getting enough sleep
Where have I gone off track? When I was a faithful and dedicated Sparker I was much happier. I knew that the changes I was making were making a real difference to me in ways that I simply can't describe. The problem is I know what to do but I am unmotivated to make the changes. AAARRGGGH. Talk about self-sabotage!
I am going away this upcoming week with a dear friend of mine named Judy. I think I wrote about her last summer and how I felt like her food choices when we were together were playing havoc with the healthy choices I was trying to make. Anyway, around Christmas she was out of the province and was rushed to ICU and was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. She has since taken complete control over her eating and she is now influencing me in a more positive way. Maybe it will be the kick in the pants I need!
As for our little foster dog, she is settling into our lives and our hearts. She has been with us for 10 days now and has changed dramatically! She is eating like a horse, no longer guards her kennel, has discovered what grass is and now loves to roll in it, has gone swimming with LouLou and Maddy and is very attached to me. Wherever I am she is there - pressed up against me or sitting on me. She goes back to the vet on July 17th for followup needles and I hope they see some positive progress.
I hope this finds you all well and happy! For those of you with those horribly high temperatures be kind to yourselves and keep hydrated. It reached a high of 31 degrees celcius here last week and we all thought we were dying. Fortunately, we don't have a humidity problem!
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