PCOH051610   51,833
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PCOH051610's Recent Blog Entries

Seriously thinking about leaving Spark....

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Hi,

I know you could all see this coming....as I haven't been the most active nor supportive member of Spark for quite awhile. It all goes back to my all or nothing way of thinking.

It is like I am eating myself into a fantasty land where I am waiting for the healthy eating food fairy to step forward and put and end to it. I'm not drinking my water and even sit down to drink Coca-Cola with meals...me?! Even my husband is shocked because I rarely drink soda.

Give me a few days to think about it but I know something has to change and I am the one to make the changes.

Susan

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILOVEMALI 6/22/2012 1:27PM

  My week wasn't great, either. Up down Up down. I want to be Down Down Down...

we need to take little steps. Just take one and be done today.

xoxo

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CHRISTINA791 6/22/2012 12:58PM

    Sorry to hear that haven't been where you want to be over the last while.

I agree - you absolutely need to do what's best for you. I know it's difficult to get past the all or nothing mentality, but Spark really is about learning and adjusting a plan for your own life. Maybe backing off will give you what you need, but know that your friends here will be waiting for whenever you need us. I'd also second seeing the doctor and getting some bloodwork done if you're finding some sudden changes in how you feel - the problem could be something undetected.

Wishing you all the best with whatever direction you take.

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RUNNER12COM 6/21/2012 1:03PM

    If you think SparkPeople is the problem, then yes, definitely, walk away. But do you really think that it is?

We're here for you when you're ready. Hang in there!

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SVELTEWARRIOR 6/20/2012 10:50PM

    I really hope you don't quit. I think I can safely say we all had times when we felt out of control and not a very good Sparker. The beauty of Spark People is there are alot of people here for you. We are willing to listen and encourage you and yes even give you a swift kick in the butt if needed. Remember this is not a race it is a journey and journeys have lovely level trails but they also have many mountains to climb. It is always better to go on this journey with those who are and have been there too.

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ANNETTEMARIE63 6/20/2012 3:12PM

    We are here for you hon, want to talk, let us know and move forward past this and never beat yourself up for the past because that is gone. emoticon

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EJOY-EVELYN 6/20/2012 11:38AM

    Praying that you find the unique way you have of achieving your goals without taking too many steps backwards ( . . . and we all take them). I'm a firm believer that computer fasts and sabbaticals can be very healthy (and yet, some are not). Guess that's why we call it our own, unique journey. May you find joy! Hug, hug!

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JOANNANOW 6/20/2012 11:22AM

    Hmmm coke with a meal... been there done that. It sounds like you are in a rebellious frame of mind! I get it ... I do that too. The beauty of spark people is that you can go away and ignore it without hurting any thing. You can slam the door and take a week or a month or a year off and come back to find there are sparklers ready and willing to support you with encouraging words, information, silly goodies and inspirational stories.

I am not doing the food thing right now either and have been thinking that I should give it a rest too. I get tired of being told what to do. The only reason I come back each day is that I am hopeful that the connections with people will pull me back to the place where I can do the food thing consistently.

I am amazed to have found people that are such wonderful communicators and have been enjoying the early morning chats with women from Australia or France or Newfoundland. Unlike you I don't feel much guilt about where I am at in the food tracker ... I love the whole thing and find that as time goes by I am evolving and learning about myself and my spark friends. It's not all about miles and sugar consumption. As far a virtual friendship goes I think that most people are not too hung up about being in constant touch. Feeling pressured about being a "good friend" is a hang over from the "real" world. Here in the virtual world there is always someone that responds to a thoughtful blog or an SOS status post. It seems to me it is also about human experience and the amazing opportunity to communicate with this huge group of people.

I love being in your circle Susan... I would miss you so much if you were gone. What ever you decide.... if it is just a break you need or to move on to something else... the quest for good health and better living goes on. I am sending hugs and hoping that I will find you again when you are ready. I have enjoyed your company you are a talented writer and your personal exploration has touched so many sparklers because you are so honest and up front about depression and how it impacts every aspect of health and well being. You can consider yourself a ground breaker where it comes to banishing the secrecy surrounding mental illness and the taboo against talking about it. emoticon emoticon

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PURPLESPEDCOW 6/20/2012 6:28AM

    You need to do what is best for you, but think about it....can you accomplish your goals by yourself? Rethink your goals first and rewrite them, push the restart button and really start over from stage one if you need to. Sparkpeople is a wonderful tool, full of support, and a safe place to talk about what is really going on. I think that there is something else going on that is taking priorty over a healthy lifestyle right now in your life and if you can identify that, you will be back in no time. Take a break, but don't leave forever.

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_LINDA 6/20/2012 1:52AM

    Susan, its not important to be an active or very supportive member of Sparks. The bottom line is you are in it for YOU! YOU are the most important person here. Sparkpeople is simply a tool, an aid to help people make healthier choices in their lives. Whether it be by the support of teams and friends, or just simply making use of the many resources on here, the only reason you should be doing this is to make things better for yourself. Just keep telling yourself you are WORTH it, and use whatever works for you and cut out the excess. I don't know how you feel, but writing has always been a catharisis for me, and perhaps it has been for you too. I very much enjoy your blogs and getting a glimpse of life on an island, your great sense of humour and your positive outlook on things. You would very sorely be missed if you were to leave. But you must decide what is best for you, that is the bottom line..
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Q8PRINCESS 6/20/2012 12:44AM

    Don't wait for the healthy food - go buy it - then eat it!
Maybe it's more of a lot of computer time and not so much eating healthy time. Maybe it's more a balance of important things in your life.

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SLIMMERKIWI 6/20/2012 12:30AM

    Have you been to your Dr for a physical and bloods? What you have described sounds to me like you could have diabetes. Often people who suddenly crave sodas etc. when this is normally foreign to them, it is found that there is a problem in this area. The sooner you get checked the sooner you will know and be able to work on some changes.

IF the bloods show that Diabetes isn't an issue, then it COULD be beneficial to check out a therapist - perhaps there are other things going on in your life and it is reflecting in your nutrition, (or lack of it) and overall outlook on your life.

Let us know how you get on!
Kris

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SETAGOAL1 6/19/2012 11:04PM

    You have not given up on yourself. You now know you are the only one that can make it happen for you.

You have the power to succeed or fail.

You have chosen to succeed.

Few baby steps complete a long journey

Writing is progress!!!

Janet- emoticon

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AMARILYNH 6/19/2012 8:05PM

    I think you gave yourself your answer: "It all goes back to my all or nothing way of thinking." Remember that the founder of SparkPeople began with 10 minutes a day of exercise. ANYONE can do 10 minutes a day - if that's too much start with 10 minutes every other day - of 5 minutes a day. Its not the how much, its doing SOMETHING!! The same is true with other healthy habits - make small changes you can stick with and life will fall into place. This isn't about SparkPeople, its about YOUR life!! And you are worth the effort!!!!!

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KAYDE53 6/19/2012 6:30PM

    I wouldn't worry about being an active or supportive member of Spark as much as I would about what happens when you quit? Are you just going to go on a binge, and perhaps gain even more weight? Or are you going to find a viable alternative? Hopefully, you will decide wisely, and make the best choice for you!! We're still here for you! emoticon

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NANCYSINATRA 6/19/2012 1:25PM

    Hi Susan, I don't know you, and you don't know me, but in reading the little I have about you, I'm sending you mail, because I have so much to say that should not be said publicly. The one thing I do want to share right away is, there is no such thing as quitting!! I TOTALLY get the all or nothing, but this journey is about YOUR LIFE,and you can't just quit that. We can all fall, last night I ate a caramel apple, three nutty bars, a coconut cookie, watermelon, peanut butter sandwich, AND ice cream. I'm stressed and depressed, and so I eat. Don't know if today I will get back on track again, or if it will take me days or weeks, because like you I'm an all or nothing person, BUT, I WILL get back on track, because the only other choice I have is to die.
So you may not be posting on SP, you may not be supporting others right now, but guess what,you will still be eating everyday, so everyday you have a new opportunity to make a healthy choice, actually several times each day. So is your choice today water or soda? So what if it's soda today, because tonight you have the choice to make again, and tomorrow you'll have the choice again. So what choice are you going to make?

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A-NEW-PAULA 6/19/2012 1:01PM

    Do something different but I don't think leaving spark is probably the answer. Join a new team, reset your fitness or weightloss goals, give yourself a new spark name but most people who leave rejoin weeks or months later with a huge gain wondering why they left!

I'm just starting The 17 Day Diet and there is a team here on spark for it. It is hard and extreme but it is helping me get my appetite under control!

One of the good things about spark is you can have a coke, candy, etc if you track and account for it AND still lose weight!

Good luck and I hope you find a program that works for you!

emoticon
Paula

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MILLIE5522 6/19/2012 12:47PM

    Please don't go! I feel that this place is a refuge; a place where you can vent and everyone on here will understand what you are going through. I don't expect to change your mind but I just want to let you know that I value your SP friendship and have enjoyed your blogs. emoticon

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GRAMLORI 6/19/2012 12:20PM

    It's ok, we've all done that! But I understand where you are at.....I have truly enjoyed getting to know you and your furry babies, and the area you live in is so beatiful! Since I have never been there, it was nice to see your pictures. I hope you change your mind, because you are one of my "SparkBuddies".....but you know what is best for you.
emoticonto you, Susan,
Lori

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BOVEY63 6/19/2012 11:32AM

    You need to do what you feel is best for you, but I for one (of many I am sure) would miss you terribly. I love reading, and always look forward to, your blogs.
emoticon

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ZANNACHAN 6/19/2012 10:49AM

    I think Prizm96 made a lot of really good points... I hope you find an answer that works for you. It's also okay to take a break from sparks--you don't have to give up on it forever to take a little vacation from it.

When I've fallen off the wagon and am struggling to pick myself back up, and everything seems so overwhelming, I often refocus on a couple of baby steps--maybe getting my 8 glasses of water or at least a couple of servings of veggies. I try to make the goals positive ones, not negative--that is, I focus on drinking MORE water, not LESS pop. Because by focusing on what I *should* be having, I'm less likely to crave what I want to avoid... and also I am less likely to feel deprived. If I really want that Coke, I can still have it... but after drinking 8 cups of water I'm less likely to want it.

Of course, that doesn't help with your decision of whether or not to stay on sparks. Ultimately, you have to find something that works best for you. I do hope that you decide to stay, however!

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PRIZM96 6/19/2012 10:42AM

    I agree that it is your choice and you do need to decide if it is helping you or not. At the end of the day, we have to decide what is best for us.
BUT, before you decide anything, go back and re-read your blog that you wrote on Sept 13, 2010 "Week 3 and I'm lovin' it!" You can feel your excitement and pride!! You also mentioned knowing that your depression would again show it's ugly head. :-(
Also, please remember back when you made the pledge to do this (getting healthy) for PEACHES. YOU deserve to be healthy. YOU deserve to be happy. YOU deserve...........

I hope you find the answers you are looking for. Good luck! :-)

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HOPESINGH 6/19/2012 10:18AM

    I guess the important thing is if you feel Spark is helping YOU or not. As far as I'm concerned, even if you're not posting comments on stuff it's nice to read your blogs and join your journey, that's support even if you don't feel you're supporting your Sparkfriends. But if you feel it's not helping you fight your demons, then it's your call...
I still hope you stay emoticon

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A blog full of pictures - of me, my dogs and where we walk and what we see

Monday, June 11, 2012

Hi,

I really hope this works this time as I had it all done this morning but when I clicked on spell check I somehow lost everything. AARRRGGGHH. But since I did promise you some pictures I will try and try again until I can get them posted. (I guess if you are reading this it must have worked! emoticon

Here goes with the pictures:

The first picture is a path in the woods we found by accident in April. Yes, you did read that right...April. I loved this spot and am looking forward to walking it as much as I can next winter.



The next one was taken in basically the same spot but looking in the other direction. You can really see the difference in how the snow melts in the open as opposed to the shelter of the trees.



This picture was supposed to be a family one but a squirrel ran by and we lost Louisa and the blur of white you see is actually Maddy in hot pursuit!



This is how I looked starting out when we were in the open and the wind was whipping....some cute, eh?



And this is what I looked like behind that hat and those oversize sunglasses!


Then Maddy got in the act of dressing up



This is Louisa and myself later on in May on our way to walk in the woods! She is more interested in what she sees out the window that actually posing!



Not to be outdone here is Maddy with mommy!



Looking for John to give the all clear sign before they are allowed to jump out and run!



A road we found quite by accident. It was really peaceful but we didn't see any wildlife thanks to the noise Maddy and Louisa were making.



Maddy thought these were prints of aliens wearing high heels but was okay once we told him they were from a huge moose!



Getting tired of being asked to sit when there was so much to see and sniff



All Louisa needs to make her happy is a stick and somebody to chase her!



A hundred shades of green





Guess who found mud to walk in?



Pretty fireweed



What was happening behind my back while I was admiring the fireweed



This and the following one are "just because" scenery shots



And my favourite picture of recent walks is this one. Just look how cute their shadows are on the rock behind them



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGRITTER 8/6/2012 5:50PM

    Told you I was going to go back through your blogs and check you out! I just showed Aunt Di your pics in this blog and told her you get to see this scenery every day. When I lived in NY state, it was pretty like this but I was so young I couldn't really appreciate it. But after living in Florida for the past 31 years I realize that I miss that place so much and how pretty it was every time I went back to visit (we lived on a dairy farm). And you get to look at this every day. Wow!

All I have down here in Jacksonville is flat ground, HOT days, HUMID nights, and sweat, sweat, sweat! You can sweat in the air conditioning! My grass is green, but only because we've spend years and years getting all the sand to fill in with SOME kind of grass - we don't even care which type anymore! I plant grass seed every summer and by the next summer it is dead and gone in one area of the yard that I like to call the "SuperFund site", meaning that there is probably so much ground contamination that nothing will ever thrive there. It's a joke because my father put down TONS of weed and feed, but it was really WEEDS that were growing. So nothing grows there anymore!! (I did get some grass this year that looks like it will make it.)

I just enjoy reading your blogs and then catching up with you in the threads! You are right... we could probably get into some devilish trouble together!!

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GAYLE-G-63 6/24/2012 2:31PM

    Susan, you take great pictures! Makes me want to walk there, also! =)

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PONYFARMER 6/23/2012 5:31PM

    Great pix. Made me smile all the way through. You and your pups are adorable. You live in a very beautiful place. Me not so much but there are patches of beauty where my house is located. Keep up the great walks and picture too.

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IFDEEVARUNS2 6/19/2012 2:47PM

    Just beautiful! All of you....

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SANDEEB7 6/19/2012 11:33AM

    Wow Susan. Thanks for this. I just saw it now, because I've also become a bad Sparker lately. I log in every day...bu just can't watch portions or exercise. Really battling, but also due to stress. So I know how you feel.
Anyway...this blog was so enjoyable, esp for me living out here in the desert, and not being able to keep a dog. And dogs were always my life . I loved seeing where you walk, seeing you, seeing your pets. Thank you. You are lovely.
Be blessed. Hope you stay on Spark, to keep blessing us.

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MOMITA3 6/16/2012 3:00PM

    Beautiful scenery, beautiful dogs. Lucky Lady! emoticon

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PRUPLEBEAR 6/15/2012 5:48AM

    Great pic! Thanks for sharing

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TWEETYKC00 6/15/2012 5:17AM

    Great shots, that must be a really nice walk for all of you. You have great pups to go with.

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KEEGSMOM1 6/15/2012 3:19AM

    Love the beautiful pictures and happy dogs!

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GEORGIAK25 6/12/2012 3:42PM

    Great scenic route and the dogs are cute. Such a renewal of spirit in this place. Enjoy often.

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MILLIE5522 6/12/2012 11:53AM

    Great pictures! Your dogs are lovely emoticon

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HEALTHYME229 6/12/2012 11:46AM

    What sweet pups you have there - and clearly very happy!

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JOANNANOW 6/12/2012 10:52AM

    Oh boy now I feel stupid! As soon as I sent the last comment about not being able to see the photos they all appeared! The scenery looks a lot like here in Northern BC. It feels like we could be neighbours! Thanks for a little glimpse into your world Susan. The dogs are wonderful... you and John look great.
Have a great Tuesday emoticon

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JOANNANOW 6/12/2012 10:46AM

    I get red x' s and that happens to me often when people send pics. My soft wear is not able to click on it and get the photo. If you know why or anyone out there does. Please clue me in. emoticon

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 6/12/2012 10:45AM

    I'm so glad you took the time to post these. I so enjoyed your walks! Your fur kids are beautiful. Toby and Maureen would love to go on those walks with you. Unfortunately, they stay on lead most of the time. I'm not sure they'd come back, especially if they had all those fun things to see and do! LOL

emoticon

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A1KAYOS 6/12/2012 10:10AM

    What a gorgeous place you live in!!!! Your dogs are so adorable!!! emoticon

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CCASKEY37 6/12/2012 7:02AM

    Love the nature pics. My dogs are kinda like yours... They are afraid of all water unless that water has mud on the bottom.

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ARTJAC 6/12/2012 2:00AM

    LOVELY PICS AND LOVELY DOGS AND HUMANS emoticon emoticon

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HAPPY-ME 6/12/2012 1:59AM

    I love the last picture and the one with Louisa with the giant stick. That's hilarious. Dogs are such happy characters. My dogs nickname is Nutball(given to him by my brother). Thanks for sharing!

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POPSY190 6/12/2012 1:54AM

    Beautiful - people, dogs, scenery. Thank you.

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Q8PRINCESS 6/12/2012 12:47AM

    Love the photos! The scenery is beautiful. Your dogs look quite happy to be outside. Also love your wallpaper.

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JAMER123 6/11/2012 11:53PM

    Great pictures!! Love your dogs, esp. Maddy. Kind of looks like one of my little ones. Thank you for sharing the pictures and taking time to repost all that work!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAYDE53 6/11/2012 10:54PM

    Great pictures!! Especially that last one!!! The scenery is beautiful & I can see why you love living there! Thanks for sharing!!

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CHLOE453 6/11/2012 9:28PM

    Love your picts!!!! Thank you so much for sharing. emoticon

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JUDYAMK 6/11/2012 8:41PM

    thank you for showing the nice photos
Judy

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GOOZLEBEAR 6/11/2012 7:47PM

    Thank you for taking us on your walk, love the scenery, you and hubby and of course the pups. Louisa looks so much like my late Honeybear. Yellow labs will always have my heart!!!

Have fun on your excursions!!!!!

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-COURT- 6/11/2012 7:13PM

    thx for posting great pix. dogs are so cute..photogenic.

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BOVEY63 6/11/2012 6:05PM

    Great pics ~ you guys are all adorable and you really do have some beautiful scenery to walk in.

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0309COOKIE 6/11/2012 3:58PM

    The pictures are all great. But my absolute favorite is the one with your pups' shadows on the rock. That is so cool.

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JLITT62 6/11/2012 2:46PM

    Lovely photos! Everyone looks so happy.

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 6/11/2012 2:30PM

    Oh, my GOODNESS, Susan! I am so glad I didn't miss this blog! It's beautiful! I LOVE that photo of just you stuck in there that you didn't mention (the one under the hat and sunglasses!) You are beautiful! Thanks for sharing all the lovely photos! It really is great to see where you go and what it's like there, as well as to see you and your hubby and doggies! I loved it very much! Have a great week! emoticon emoticon

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HOPESINGH 6/11/2012 2:29PM

    Cute doggies! You can see their character in these pics. And the woods, the rocks, the trees... so beautiful!

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EJOY-EVELYN 6/11/2012 2:17PM

    What a lovely area you and your loved ones live in. A small piece of heaven here on earth shown beautifully through the lens of your camera. Thanks! No wonder island living is often referred to as paradise!

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WIZKEY 6/11/2012 1:58PM

    So beautiful!! Thanks for sharing!!

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 6/11/2012 1:46PM

    Wonderful pics!! Loved the family shot with the blur going by!!

emoticon

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GRAMLORI 6/11/2012 1:26PM

    What a beautiful area you live in!! Your furry kids are gorgeous, as well! I look forward to be able to enjoy walking once again, hopefully in the not too distant future. I bet your scenery has some changes every day, keeping it all fresh and oh-so pretty.....God sure paints beautifully, doesn't HE?

Have a blessed week, Susan!!
emoticon,
Lori

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CHRISTINA791 6/11/2012 1:19PM

    Gorgeous pictures! I love how happy the dogs look. One of my favourite things to run across on the paths is a happy dog with a stick in his mouth. You always know that it's the very best stick in the whoooole universe!

You're looking fantastic, too!

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An the Academy Award goes to our dog Louisa

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Hi and Happy Sunday (early Monday for some)

I am starting to come around again from yet another cycle with S.A.D. ~ special thanks to all of you who helped pull me through yet again! emoticon

The sun has been out all weekend but there is a frost warning for tonight. I doubt it will happen because it seems too warm but one never knows. I am hoping it doesn't dip that cold!

Went for a 5 km walk in the woods last night with Maddy and Louisa which the three of us enjoyed tremendously. Poor Louisa has been under the weather with an urinary tract infection. Earlier this week she woke up one morning and really wasn't herself. Normally she is bounding around the house with those big eyes of hers glossy and that tail wagging a mile a minute. But I noticed she hung out in the spare bedroom and when John came home from work she barely wagged her tail. I wanted to call the vet right away but John and my mom thought I was over-reacting, especially where vet bills are so high and money is tight.

The next morning there was no improvement so I called the vet and got in pretty much right away. An urine test showed another infection and now she is on three weeks of antibiotics. Thankfully she is feeling much better and so what if it cost us $200 we can't afford. She could have won an Academy Award though for "acting well" at the clinic. When the vet asked what the troubles were Louisa was jumping around, wagging her tail, giving paw, rolling over for belly rubs, etc.

The vet tried to examine her and Louisa kept giving her kisses. Then it was time for an actual examine where they felt down her sides and Louisa sat down and kept giving our vet her paw. She figured that wasn't comfortable enough so she lay down and got on her back with her belly up in the air all the while whipping our vet in the legs with her tail. She is quite the little actress, she is! The pH level of her pee was way off and she had been miserable at home but a trip to the vet, hey, it is time to put her best face forward. (WOOF!)

I've been giving her her medication in "pill pockets" followed by some cheese. Maddy sits by and watches every morsel and when spit the pill pocket out Maddy spit out his cheese. You would think we were poisoning them or something. Anyway, when he saw Lou take the pill pocket back in her mouth he took his cheese back and ate it. Funny little things they are!

I have taken some pictures of our walks lately which I will post tomorrow. I doubt we will be walking much tonight as I am tired. I vacuumed our car and truck today and washed them inside before going across the road to a neighbour's house as they are taking the brick off the front of their house. I even got to swing a sledge hammer! John was over there helping all day and now we are going back there for supper. I am sure I burned some calories but I have no idea how many! Felt good just to be out and be active.

Talk to you all later!
Susan


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

A1KAYOS 6/12/2012 10:12AM

    Glad to hear the emoticon is shining!!! My dog does the same thing at the vet - it is amazing how much they act like people!!!

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JOANNANOW 6/11/2012 11:00AM

    Wow that sunshine really did it for you! So good!

Dogs are so funny! Cheese is a real comfort food when it comes to taking meds. Good thing you figured out what was wrong with Louisa. My guys know the vet's place as soon as they get near the door and are reluctant to go in right from the get go.

We had sun all weekend too on this side of the country! It was wonderful.

emoticon

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JLITT62 6/11/2012 4:23AM

    Wow! You're lucky she's so happy at the vet. Simba is, too, but then we go from shaking & cringing down to terrified!

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POPSY190 6/11/2012 3:20AM

    Loved the story of the drama queen. Hope she is better soon, though.

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EJOY-EVELYN 6/11/2012 3:15AM

    Glad to see Louisa is on the meds she needs to heal. You're next.

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ARTJAC 6/11/2012 12:27AM

    HOPE SHE GETS BETTER SOON

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KAYDE53 6/11/2012 12:06AM

    Glad Louisa is on the mend, they can be quite the drama kings & queens can't they? Mine don't like to go to the vet, so they always have on their mournful, sad faces, and shake like leaves. It's all pretty pitiful, and that's when they're just going for shots. Looking forward to seeing pictures of your walk! emoticon

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ILOVEMALI 6/10/2012 7:50PM

  Our dogs are our family, aren't they?

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LUXITTA 6/10/2012 4:56PM

    Your pup sounds nice :)

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BOVEY63 6/10/2012 4:46PM

    Our furry friends sure do bring so much to our lives.

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MSKITYOCAT 6/10/2012 4:28PM

  Isnt' that always the way, whether or not its a pet or a child. blessings on your journey with your pets.

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TEXANMOM81275 6/10/2012 4:02PM

    Hope everything works out for your furry kiddo! We ran into a similar thing with a 18 year old Pom. She was barely getting around, super grumpy and just in general didn't look good, but take her to the vet and then it's sunshine and roses during the visit. I miss that old dog, but she eventually hit that virtual wall.

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Some answers to questions some of you have asked...

Thursday, June 07, 2012

Hi,

I thought I would take a minute to clear up an apparent misconception about S.A.D. Although it usually affects people in the months from November - March, this is not always the case. Of course, I am not talking about those who just live in the southern Hemisphere, either.

S.A.D. can occur in peak of North American summer. It is a much rarer form but some people suffer dreadfully when the daylight hours are actually longer. Mine has been diagnosed by two doctors who have taken the patterns of my mental health over the span of several years into consideration. I do not do well when we have a lot of dreary, grey weather. With the climate we have here, this can occur at any time from March on.

And, I we have thought about moving across the country to find the "ideal" climate. However, we have so much going for us here that it does seem like heaven on earth.

One of our policitians told a national film crew that you can tell all the Newfoundlanders in Heaven as they are the only ones who want to go back home!

I love it here, I don't like the weather this time of the year, I would move if circumstances allowed it and yes, I am still fighting this sense of depression that washes over me with each dark, gloomy day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

A1KAYOS 6/12/2012 10:16AM

    I can understand why you don't want to move from looking at your pics - it is absolutely beautiful up there! Are there any supplements that you can take that can help you out - like the Vitamin D that someone else mentioned? I have a deficiency in Vitamin D but thankfully the only side effect I have is tiredness but I have some friends that suffer from S.A.D. as well and they say it helps them slightly with that too.

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ILOVEMALI 6/9/2012 2:51PM

  Talk to your doctor about vitamin D supplement. Sure helps me!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 6/8/2012 9:56AM

    Oh, I do know about SAD, as I told you my brother had it. I am glad you have worked at seeking relief in all the ways possible! You deserve to have JOY! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOPESINGH 6/8/2012 9:50AM

    It's great that you love your area so much. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't stand it, but I'm a summer kind of person. And I don't mean Newfoundland summer emoticon
Keep using all the tools you told us about!

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LUXITTA 6/8/2012 6:49AM

    Hang in there! I'm here for you, I to suffer so I know the things you are going through. I have been told that Newfoundland is beautiful! A friend of mine is actually moving back there probably! Maybe I will see it one day!

~Amanda~

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_LINDA 6/8/2012 3:18AM

    So very sorry Susan :( I do know what you mean about dark, gloomy days. For five years our summers were cooler, wetter and cloudier than normal. We finally had the best summer ever last year and I spent it on my butt recovering from foot surgery :P. I guess living within a large body of water pretty much guarantees lots of precipitation and cloudy days for you :( It is wonderful you love where you live so much you won't consider moving. I feel the same way about my place here. It may wreak havoc on my RA with the rapidly changing weather -freeze to thaw and windy as all get out, but it really is a special place to live. I hope the sun finds you soon and that your light therapy lamps do something for you..May your team of Doctors find a way to treat your double whammy of depression and SAD..
Take care of yourself..
emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAMER123 6/7/2012 10:52PM

    I am sorry you are still having difficulties. It really is a bummer to be effected by SAD (I too, have it). I have been going to Texas in the winter and I find this is a great help. I haven't been able to go until after Christmas due to our kids wanting Christmas as we normally had. So that puts up on the road right afterwards. But until then, I feel myself slipping in to the depression as the days get shorter and more dreary. I hope you can find a good solution for you. I use the Ott-lite when I start feeling low and it helps me! emoticon emoticon

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JOANNANOW 6/7/2012 10:05PM

    I took a yoga class a while back and we chanted this when we started ... it was such a sweet thought ... so I am sending it to you.

"May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you."

Thanks for clarifying the SAD situation and what ever you do don't move to Vancouver or Prince Rupert! It is notorious for grey days in both places!

emoticon emoticon

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POPSY190 6/7/2012 9:00PM

    I have known another person who found spring incredibly depressing. I think it was worse for her because the rest of us liked the season so much that we didn't really understand the problems it brought her. So she was surrounded by people burbling on about bulbs and lambs and new life and couldn't really join in the happiness. I can understand your reluctance to move house. People think we're mad staying in Christchurch but it's our home and we love it!
Your plan of action to deal with S.A.D. sounded good to me - I think you have to go along with the doctors' diagnoses. If there are tactics to alleviate this they will be the ones to know about it. There might be groups on-line on other sites if you can't find one on SP. I've found http://www.beyondblue.org.au very useful. It's Australian but general in content. I've used the Anxiety section and there is one on Depression. In the meantime, here's wishing you some sunshine. emoticon

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Living with S.A.D. and struggling

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Hi,

AAARRRGGGHH - I am really struggling with S.A.D. which coupled with my "regular" depression is really throwing a wrench into my sunny disposition. I have been reading a lot about S.A.D. and my findings are explaining a lot. Apparently, when coupled with year round depression it is like a double whammy. One sort of begets the other and you have to really watch that the combination of both doesn't put you over the proverbial edge.

Right now I feel like I am standing on that edge (but not to worry as I don't feel like flinging myself over) but I do feel like I have to find another route to continue my journey.

I don't want to see, let alone eat anything remotely healthy. I am craving sugar, salt and junk food. I don't have the energy to walk myself let alone the dogs. I want to stay in bed all day and I don't want to get out of my pjs.

I've noticed that this pattern is a reoccurring one. Which probably goes a long way to explain why I manage to lose a few pounds only to have it come back a month or so later. For me, this is the very worse time of the year. I don't mind summer (at least when we get one), I love fall and early winter because in our climate the sun is usually out but I detest spring.

So, what to do besides sitting here and whining about it. Hmmm? Here is my checklist:

Get up the same time each day emoticon
Take my medication daily emoticon
Use my light therapy emoticon

Shower daily and get dressed in real clothes (needs to be worked on)
Resume drinking my water (needs to be worked on)
Try to make sure what I eat is good for me (REALLY needs to be worked on)

Try to remember that my body and mind both work better when I get some exercise, spend sometime outdoors, eat healthy foods, stay hydrated, and most importantly remember that time spent with my husband and dogs is vital to my well being.

Any other suggestions? Anyone else out there living with S.A.D. and would care to share coping tips?

A lot of what I have read suggests an increase in your regular antidepressant medications just before the expected onset of S.A.D. each year. The problem is I am on the highest dosage of regular medication so it will involve a whole new medication and I have tried many and have found the most success with the current one.

I hope you are all having a better day than I am!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4DOGNIGHT 6/10/2012 4:00PM

    Have you tried over the counter melatonin? I feel for you. I have depression and lately, experiencing a lot of irritability and anxiety which are annoying. It is a battle for sure and you just have to push yourself like you are doing. I nap daily and I also have taken up quilting and sewing again after many years and I love it. It is so therapeutic and creative.

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BOVEY63 6/8/2012 5:12PM

    Sending prayers, hugs and lots of positive vibes your way. Hope you're better real soon!
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JOANNANOW 6/7/2012 10:33AM

    Hmmm, I thought once the days got longer that SAD would fall off. I'm wondering if your lethargy had another cause? I know that when my B12 was too low and I started getting monthly B12 shots that my energy level improved a lot. Have you had any blood work done? Just a thought .... I hate to think of you struggling when it is almost summer.
I know the struggle really well and am not doing great with food either since my foot has been acting up. Your goal list is right on and at some point the light at the end of the tunnel will shine on you again.
emoticon emoticon

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HOPESINGH 6/7/2012 9:48AM

    All I can say is that I am sorry you experience this. Probably, if I were you I'd try to make all these points completely obligatory, meaning I'd try to practice them with military discipline. Then there's no question what I eat, whether I am going for a walk or not, etc. But it's easier said than done, unless you're like my grandparents and have their German-inspired discipline (we have a special word for that :-))

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A1KAYOS 6/7/2012 8:00AM

    Sorry you are going through this Susan!! I don't have any experience with it but one thing that may help brighten your spirit is sparking! Setting a time to log in and talk to others might be another great distraction for you! The Scarlet's will pass on all their bright emoticon filled days to you virtually!!! emoticon my friend and you will get through this...remember you are a STRONG women!!!

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Q8PRINCESS 6/6/2012 11:46PM

    emoticon
Sorry I don't have any good suggestions but I like the idea of sticking to a schedule. I did learn something new though. I always thought S.A.D. was only int he winter when we have little sun, I did not realize it can be the change of any season.

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KAYDE53 6/6/2012 11:04PM

    My dh has this in the winter; but light therapy, Vitamin D, is about all he does for it. Your winters must really be long. We've had a very sunny Spring here; in fact, we would love to have some clouds & rain; it's too dry which is not normal. I wish I could be of more help! emoticon

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-THINQ- 6/6/2012 8:56PM

    I have similar issues, & i have found that THE MOST important thing for Me to do is get vigorous activity, if not exercise. I tried EVerything else, including upped meds, changed meds, etc... but it is Really True! that physical movement can break us out of these moods faster than almost anything else. I hope you will Force yourself to try it! ~even doing dishes can help me to 'switch gears' inside my head!

Your plans are very good, emoticonon taking care of yourself the best you know how. GREAT blog, since you're getting Real ideas from others, like keeping the Unhealthy foods out of reach til you're past your SAD time.

Keep doing what you're doing! You ROCK!
SunnyLizzy ,'=^D

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JLITT62 6/6/2012 8:10PM

    It sounds much more like depression than SAD now, since the days are longer. I know, you probably want to slap me thru the computer right now!

I wish I had suggestions for you . . . I know that you'd feel better with exercise & good food - but you need to want it enough to do it - and I know you do want it.

So I guess all I can say is I'm sorry you're struggling , I wish you didn't have to & big hugs.

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EJOY-EVELYN 6/6/2012 4:06PM

    It's probably more important than ever that you don't keep those tasty trigger foods around. You do not want to go on an eating binge. SAD is sad. So wish it would pass quickly for your health's sake.

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KANSASROSE67 6/6/2012 3:29PM

    I know it's incredibly drastic, but have you ever thought of moving to a sunnier climate?

If that's not possible, I understand. Sending hugs your way!

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POLK-A-DOTS 6/6/2012 3:22PM

    ugh! So sorry you have to deal with this! You have set out some great goals for yourself! Keep on keeping on, and wishing you some sunshine!

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PRIZM96 6/6/2012 3:19PM

    I am soooo sorry you are suffering from this. Unfortunately, I do not have any suggestions for you, as I do not know much about S.A.D.
I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you. And while I know it won't do you any real good, I am sending you some virtual sunshine emoticon

Hope you are feeling better soon. :-)

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