Tuesday, May 15, 2012
By coincidence or fate, I was notified I was accepted into the Biggest Loser Challenge on the same day I was laid off from work. The seasonal lay off is a part of my job and to tell the truth I don't really mind it although this year is is really going to be tough on us financially.
As many of you know I only work part-time and only for eight months of the year and my husband has been out of work since finishing up college last June. But the good news he found out about ten minutes ago that he has a summer job. It only pays minimum wage which is $10 (I think) but it will help us both out.
It is a local job too which means he will be home lunch time even every day and he works from 8-5 which is really good. Funny thing is he worked at this particular place as a student back in...hmmm....1985!
I'm exhausted today and for once don't think I will going for a walk. Hmmm, did I just type that? And do I feel okay about it? Well, since getting laid off I have walked every single day and it is not like I have stopped today. I have been moving around things in our house, washing laundry, pinning it outdoors, stripping beds, making supper, washing the dogs....whew...all that with a headache brewing. So, while I really would like to go for a walk I am going to be okay with missing one because it means I view my exercise as something to look forward to and not doing it out of a twistes sense of perfectionism.
Starting on Wednesday April 25 to last night May 14 is 20 days I have walked 75 km which isn't too bad at all, is it? When I am not walking I have been spending a lot of time re-organizing, spring cleaning, playing with my dogs and spending time with my friends and family.
Weigh in is tomorrow so I am hoping to lose a wee little bit or stay the same but it is that time of the month so one never knows.
Anyway, have a good night one and all!
Friday, May 11, 2012
I wonder how many of you reading this right now clicked on the link to this blog because you really don't believe in yourself and you are hoping that somebody (me!) has the answers you have been looking for.
Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you are Sparking but the bad news is that believing in yourself is something that for many of us is simply unattainable. But before you give up hope please continue to read.....
Believing in ourselves is core to anything we hope to do. I fully confess that I joined Spark without ever believing that I could do it. The same belief, or lack thereof, has been both a blessing and a curse.
But here I am about 18 months into my Spark journey and I am still here! So maybe deep down I am believing in myself but I don't want to be cocky about it. But what is wrong with believing in ourselves? Why are we so afraid of failing ourselves that most of us just take a lackadaisical approach to our own well being? It is not that we don't want to "Do It" we just jump from where we are now to where we want to be without looking at the many milestones in between. As Nike says "Just Do It".
So, how I am Just Doing It? I am continuing to Spark, I am accepting my latest weight gain as one of the many milestones along my journey and am not going to let the slip up define my journey. This is my life, my journey, and I WILL enjoy the journey for what it is and will not focus so much on the destination being an end.
In the past few weeks I have ramped up my walking and am finding sneaky ways to fit a few more steps into my lifestyle. Just yesterday, a friend called and said she was going to pick me up. I made sure I was ready in plenty of time and then went outside and started walking and counting my steps. I did 750 back and forth the sidewalk and it didn't feel like I was doing anything.
I also detest walking around my town as I want to be carefree and not really be watching where I am going. So, I drive to a spot where I know it is safe, quiet and I pick spots along the way to check my pace and my mileage. Besides it gets the dogs out of the house and we all get to enjoy mother nature.
When I come home I carefully log my minutes into Spark but more importantly for me I keep a log sheet of how much I have exercised. I have this posted on my fridge so I can see that each step I take is one more that says "I Believe in Myself" and I am "Doing It"
In conclusion, I have to stop thinking that there is something wrong with believing in myself. I also have to focus my energies unto celebrating each milestone I make so one day I can look back and say "once I stopped being so self-critical, my true journey was underway"
Monday, May 07, 2012
Once again, I haven't been as active on Spark as I would like to be or think I should be so I am starting to see a pattern here in my behaviour. I think I should be doing more than I am doing instead of being happy with my involvement on a whole. It is that pursuit of perfectionism that gets me every time....so time to get rid of it.
My declaration: SPARK is a tool - how I use it is up to me . Nobody is grading us or keeping tabs on how active we are, how many SparkFriends we have, or how we use Spark. I think that is what makes SparkPeople so unique from other programs.
Anyway, I digress from my progress. I took my measurements yesterday...and it was painful! I have always known that I don't have a shape (well, I guess rectangular is a shape) but I am just the same measurement from top to bottom....48 bust, 48 waist and 48 hips. Add two legs and two arms and a head and I could be a character off of Sesame Street!
But I love myself - there I said it! I love that I have a boyish figure - well, it is boyish buried under all of those inches. But they will come off and I am still me underneath.
To get those inches off I have been walking, walking and walking. Did I mention walking? Every night we take the dogs and head across the river into the never ending forest and walk the many roads. Here is where it gets comical...and yes, you know with me it has to be comical.
I am typically dressed in yoga pants that are too short, dark socks, my Merrill hikers, some hand me down jacket, another jacket on top, a wool hat pulled down over my eyes (well, my husband says it is pulled down that far), mittens and the piece de resistance ....... carrying a GPS, and a long handled pickeroon.
Okay, for those that don't have spouses that worked in the pulp industry, a pickeroon is a long axe like tool with an extremely pointed end for "picking" at jammed wood, etc....but I use it for a) deterrent against moose, bears, and more importantly humans because there isn't anybody crazy enough out there to attack a woman clad in such attire and armed with such a tool!!!! But the other reason (which is actually the real reason) that I carry such a thing is to pick cans and bottles out of the ditch which we recycle and give the money to our animal rescue program. It sure adds up and I am ashamed by the amount of stuff we have picked up. We have such beautiful forests and yet the people who use these roads think nothing of tossing their beer cans and bottles into the ditches. I guess it does give us some exercise and it raises a bit of money but still....people are pigs which is an insult to pigs everywhere!
Since my lay off on April 25th I have walked 58 km which is 58 more km than I would have done if I stayed on my bum! Not doing so great with the eating - although I have only had one meal of junk food - KFC and had no chips or chocolate. Still finding it very hard to get my calories in each day.
So, boys and girls that is where I am. Satisfied with my exercise, dressing like a redneck fashionista, and enjoying my time off with my dogs and John.
I love you all!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
As I said in an earlier blog, I joined the Biggest Loser Challenge when it started on Wednesday, April 25th and I have been doing okay with it. Actually better than okay as I have walked every day ( ), am tracking my food , am playing with my doggies and and am spending a lot of time with my dear husband and my good friend Judy.
I am sleeping better now as well and plan to start aquafit this week - all part of my mission to knock depression to the curb where I hope it will be totally thrashed by the garbage compactor!!!!
But seriously, I do hope that the small changes I am making do help me mentally as well as physically. Yes, I know I will always have some sort of depression BUT a healthy body will surely help, right?
Today, the weather was pretty typical for Newfoundland in Spring. It was sunny, very chilly and we did have some snowflakes floating by. Mind you, that didn't stop us from walking nor did it stop Louisa from jumping into the river to swim. Brrrr.....
I am planning a pretty quiet night at home with my posse (John, Maddy and Louisa) and am hoping my day in the fresh air lulls me to sleep like a baby!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
As most of you know I used to be a fairly active member of SparkPeople since I joined in August 2010. And, if you've been following my journey you will realize that while I have not been successful with weight loss (I started out at 222 pounds, went down to 206 and now am back at 222) Spark has played a tremendous role in my life.
I life with clinical depression and had an equally depressing lifestyle. I didn't loathed exercise in any form, I ate poorly and water was something to wash my face in! I am proud to say I now am a walker, I am aware of what I eat and I love to drink my water! I also have made some wonderful SparkFriends and they have seen me through my many detours off the journey's path.
I am now recommitting to doing my best. I have joined up with the Biggest Loser Team and I will remain faithful to my previous teams because they are the ones who got me as far as I now.
I have to get some of this weight off because I remember how good it felt last summer to weight almost 20 pounds lighter! I will get there again and then some! Today was the first day of my "summer" holiday and I don't go back to work until early September so no excuses! I got up this morning and walked my dogs and I was truly thankful to share that time with them. Louisa though nothing of jumping into the river and going for a swim despite this being much too early in the season for the water to be much above 0 degrees! Silly thing but she had fun and I had fun laughing at her! Maddy was not impressed but managed to get his toes wet which is basically all he will ever do.
The rest of the day I spent on errands and then I ran into Walmart where I bought myself a skipping rope! Yep, age 46 and I am going to take up skipping! I figured it is something I can do anywhere and every bit of exercise will help.
I also stopped at the grocery store (our Walmart does not have much of a grocery aisle) and stocked up on good foods. I balked at paying $12 for a bag of frozen fruit but then I figured it would last me a week and the Reese's Peanut Butter mini cups I was eating were almost $4 a bag and they would only last me one night. Gross, hey? At least the fruit is yummy and is good for me! That and popcorn will be my nightly snacks if I am hungry.
Okay, time to get off here and start making some changes.
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