Tuesday, April 03, 2012
It was another sunny, yet, cool day here on the Rock and Spring Fever has hit big time. Yesterday we saw a young man out for a stroll wearing shorts and it was "shiver your liver" weather with a high of 4 degrees C. Today, the temperature rose to 5 degrees and people had their motorcycles out! Meanwhile, while walking the hounds, I was decked out in my wool hat and mittens and even then the wind was cool on my face. Might I be getting old or am I being realistic? Hmm?
Had an interesting moment after our walk today. We had stopped into a grocery store on the way home looking for grapes (no, couldn't find any, nor any strawberries, etc) so while John was paying for the few things we had I decided to go back to the truck to keep Maddy and Louisa company. I was in the truck and they were gone wild (despite having just returned from a long walk in the woods) so I opened one of the windows to let them hang their heads out. Out of nowhere Missy Louisa decides to jump out the window (!) and ran across the parking lot and up to the automatic doors. Thankfully John was just coming out and was carrying her leash across his chest and quickly snapped her on. The little bugger! I can only imagine the chaos if the doors had opened and she went sailing through the aisles! Glutton on four legs!
Okay, so I will get to my point of my blog and I have to credit JOANNANOW for bringing this up in her recent blog. Our journeys are just that...OUR journeys. There is no WE in this despite all the encouragement we give to one another. Just because we surround ourselves with successful SparkFriends doesn't mean we are going to be successful.
YOU are in the driver's seat of your journey. YOU decide if you are going to exercise and, if so, how much is good enough for you. YOU decide choice by choice what goes into your mouth.
I am taking this journey extremely slow and yes, I ridden on some of your coat tails at times. I wanted to lie down this afternoon and rest my back but I walked 3 km instead as I know the walking does really help my back pain in the end. Likewise, at the grocery store, I wanted to pick up something quick and easy for supper but I made the choice to simply buy yogurt and milk and go home to healthy leftovers.
Class dismissed. Next lecture will be on canine restraints for your vehicles....written by Louisa! Woof - woof!
Monday, April 02, 2012
Good Morning! And a beautiful one it is here in central Newfoundland. Sunny and cold (I had to scrape the frost off of my car) but this is the kind of weather that I do best in, especially from a mental health point of view.
Several of you made some great suggestions and we all know this is something one has to make a personal commitment to. I can have ideas coming out of my ying yang and unless I put them into action they are just going to be ideas and not practices.
So, yesterday I went back to tracking my food. Therefore I didn't eat a whole bag of Reese's Peanut butter cups as I wouldn't want to track it. Ah, I just shed some light on my own problem!
I tend to track only when I eat healthy and give up when I lapse.
So, what can I do? I have to learn to track everything regardless how awful it looks on my nutrition tracker. That being the case I tracked the muffin I bought this morning and was appalled to see on my tracker that one muffin was 400 calories. Wow.
Easter is coming up and with it brings chocolate....come on, now, you know that is what most of us think of Easter as.....a Chocolate frenzy! Well, this year I have decided to tell the Easter Bunny to stay away from our house. Maddy and Louisa can't eat it and John and I really shouldn't be eating it.
I have to come up with a nice way of telling the Easter Bunny that I would much prefer a bag of mini carrots instead. We could all eat those. Is it only my dogs that love to eat carrots? They aren't too big on broccoli but I do chop up some and "hide" it with their dry nasty crap!
Anyway, I must go for a stroll around campus in a few minutes to see if I can work out the pain in my back. Oh, for those wondering, I injured my back several years ago and during treatment it was discovered that I am missing part of a vertebrae that holds everything together in the lower back area. Usuallly I get it clicked back in place by the chiropractor. then I feel while cleaning the bathroom just before Christmas (further argument that housecleaning is bad for us!) and it just won't go back into place and stay there. AAARRGGH. Walking does seem to help so I am doing that...albeit a bit slowly!
Have a good one folks!
Sunday, April 01, 2012
I'm losing motivation faster than I have been eating chocolate and that is saying something. I just looked at my weight loss and every fall I do well and lose about 18 pounds but as soon as I get near the magical 200 pound mark I lose hope and let my efforts wane. Now I am up to 219 again and I need HELP!
My lower back is really hurting - I haven't gone to my doctor because I don't want pain medications I just want it to go away. The pain, that is, and not my back! This is the worse it has been in several years and I don't want to use is an excuse to eat myself into a hole.
I got discouraged this morning when I thought..wow, this is April and you are still going to be in plus sizes this summer but I can change that, can't I? Back to the very basics for me....food tracking and meal planning along with as much walking as my back will endure.
On a plus side I did get my husband really good this mornng for April Fool's Day. I was up early and let Maddy and Louisa out to pee. Our garden is 98% fenced in but they can leave through a small opening if they really wanted to. Anwyay, I yelled out on top of my lungs "John, get up quick as Lou has run up the road". I heard him stumble out of bed, pulling on his jeans on the way and he ran out into the hallway where he banged into the hall table before I smiled and said "April Fools".
Okay, plan for today -
Reset my weight treacker, adjust my activity level, start tracking my food! It works -I just have to do my part!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
I've noticed that I am not blogging as much anymore (which is probably a blessing for those of you who have to plow through my drivel ) but I miss its role in my Spark journey so much that I've decided to resume my ramblings. Consider yourselves forewarned
Dare I think it, much less write about it? Yes, my depression seems to be lifting and I am slowly but surely regaining my sunny optimism. Seems to so contradictory to be sunny most of the times yet prone to those moments of deep darkness, doesn't it? I know many of you can understand what I mean and for those that can't just be thankful you don't!
One key thing in my shorter "life under the dark cloud" episode was talking about it. Yes, admitting to others about how I felt and how disappointed I felt in myself for somehow "allowing" myself to be depressed. See, even after a lifetime I still play the blame game. I think it is natural to do so and in a way it makes me self-analyze to determine what in my life needs to be changed or looked at in a magnifying glass.
I will be on my anti-depressants for life or at least I imagine I will so. So I am dealing with it in a chemical way. As for the other areas in my life - I didn't really see a connection between depression and food craving overload until this most recent blip. I didn't want to see or hear tell of anything healthy (hence my weight has gone up to 218 pounds!) and I somehow thought taming the beast with chocolate and fast food was going to make it more bearable. All it did was add to my guilt!
Last week, my husband and I went through all that was going on in my life and I soon determined that I was at a low point due to many things that are beyond my control. The SAD, the fact we are short on money, etc...but then we looked at all of the things I have control over.
I have Spark! I have wonderful SparkFriends! I have an understanding husband! I have two funny and lovable dogs! I have a job I love! Co-workers I care about! I have access to a gym! I have a roof over my head and a house that is paid for and is comfortable! I have fulfillment doing animal rescue work! I have two great doctors! I have my mom! I have a close relationship with my brother! We have caring neighbours! I have a SAD light!
And it was then that it struck me! I have a SAD light but I wasn't using it. Duh! I started in very reluctantly sitting in front of it for the required 20 minutes a day and it was a start in my feeling better process. I have used it every day since and I have even managed to push myself outside for fun with the dogs. I am sleeping better once I stopped worrying about it.
And you know another thing that really got me through this time? It is quite simple - I looked at all of the exercise minutes I have under my belt. Although I document my physical activity on Spark the best motivator for me is to look at my scribbles on a log sheet that I made up when I completed my virtual walk across Newfoundland. I have got five pages full.....yes, me!!!
So, you know where this is going - I started another virtual challenge walk with myself.....I am going to leave the safety of my island and walk the equivalent of the ferry route between Port-aux-Basques, Newfoundland and North Sydney, Nova Scotia which is approximately 550 miles. Yes, I am going to walk across the water and who knows where I will end up.
Great chatting with you all as always!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Many of you have realized long before now that not only am I a complete dork and I have to say I am proud of it!
I say, do and think some of the stupidest things without even questioning it but I also have been blessed with the great ability to laugh at myself. I think without that ability I would have to crawl away somewhere during my bouts of depression.
My latest dorkism happened today. My good friend, worried about my state of mind, invited me to go to a small gift shop with her as she had something to buy. I was half-heartedly browsing when I saw................. and honest to goodness blurted out
"Oh, how nice they are making canes now with wide supportive bases" before I quickly realized it was a toilet paper holder! Thank goodness only my friend heard me but then we had to explain why we were in tears over in the corner and holding unto our stomachs.
Maybe I am more of a ditz than a dork but regardless I am some glad I can laugh at myself!!!
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