Wednesday, February 01, 2012
I have to say something powerful here and it isn't something I take very lightly. I absolutely love you guys. I wrote an soul-baring blog and you came out of the woodwork. If you had a story to share you shared it or whether you offered a few words of compassion you did so. I thought the very nature of my blog would put you all on your guard as nobody really knows who reads this stuff despite our attempts to keep things private. Now, I'm not trying to say that Spark is at fault but once you put anything out there on any media site it is basically out there!
I'm still feeling a bit down (those of you who really have gotten to know me, realize that this is cycle I go through) but thanks to all of you I have weathered this storm by riding it out on all of your coat tails. You carried me when I couldn't make one more step along this journey and for that you are my true friends.
For isn't that what real friendship is? Here we are a bunch of women (no men responded) sitting down to our computers to offer support to somebody (me) who you will probably never ever meet face to face. For me, my SparkFriends are THE most important of aspect of Spark. What I wouldn't give to have you all in one room for just one hour to give you a hug in person!
To get to my title, John and I had a good talk today and I shared an experience that was profound. Apparently, I had never told him about the babysitter who supposedly touched me nor of one of his former co-worker doing the same thing to me. Yes, he was angry and then he gathered me in his arms and hugged me. I think we both welled up.
But then he did something far more important and he gathered my longjohns and my wool hat and said "get dressed". I wanted to stay home as it is freezing (literally) out but he insisted and told me that I had invested far too much into my lifestyle transformation to sit back and watch it all be wasted. So, kicking and screaming (well, not really!) I went along and walked 3 km. It was the first walk in well over two weeks and every moment of feeling good came rushing back to me.
We talked about depression and how washes over you and will knock you down if you let it. He got me to think about each thing that I do for myself and compare it to a sandbag against the flood waters. So my walk is a sandbag, eating a healthy supper is another and going to bed early will be another. Yes, there might be trickles of depression sneaking in here and there but I am doing what I can to keep it from washing my feet out from underneath me.
Will you be my sandbag too?
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Yes, I am an oddball in that I actually like snow and enjoy winter! Today we had our second storm of the season (and even that wasn't much of a storm) and boy was it wonderful. We spent a while with the shovels and snowblower until I got slightly bored and let the dogs out with us in the back garden! Well, you talk about having fun. Louisa found an old tennis ball and teased us with it while I took Maddy on my lap and went sliding down the small hill we have. Too lazy to dig through our shed to find our proper toboggan, I just went sliding on the bum of my wind pants. It was a lovely hour or so outdoors and we all were totally exhausted when we came back inside....but it was sure worth it.
Sometimes you just have to release that inner child and today I released my inner child and several of her "mischievous twins"
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