Saturday, December 03, 2011
After much deliberation I decided to pull out of the 5% Winter Challenge and in turn leave the Teddy Bear Team. My heart really wasn't into it and I wanted to leave gracefully and to give somebody else a chance. Since the challenge only officially started today I hope I haven't let any of my team down.
Why am I leaving? It is not a decision that I took lightly. I went back and reviewed how I felt on each day of the Fall 5% challenge and realized that I always felt rushed. It was nobody's fault but my own but that is how it made me feel.
I think teams, like SparkFriends, have to be joined and welcomed when you are ready. It is no good to pretend you feel a connection when it simply is not there. I need Spark to work for ME plain and simple.
So farewell my teddy bears! I will be cheering you guys on from the sidelines this challenge and I wish you all the very best.
Thursday, December 01, 2011
Before any of you get your knickers in a knot, nothing is wrong, we are not in crisis but we just get the feeling that someone, somewhere is praying for us. We are not doing the best financially at the moment but in other areas we are so blessed.
Remember how I won the two prizes last weekend at my staff Christmas party? Well, the luck continued and I won another two prizes at our student - run raffle yesterday! Me! One was another gift certificate to a local restaurant and the other was a nice holiday themed ornament.
Yesterday I got 20 on my first spin and another 20 on the bonus spin.
Things are also going well with my depression. I have been using my light therapy for 30 minutes in the morning about 4 days a week AND I have successfully cut my dose of Celexa to 40 mg down from 60 mg.
I have also been invited by an instructor to accompany her on a business trip to St. John's. The college pays for her gas and hotel room so I am going to get a free trip out of it. I have some money saved up from not eating at Tim Hortons so much which will give me some spending money.
I've finished my 3rd day of weight training and have not quit! And I ran into a store yesterday (Northern Reflections for all you Canadians) and the manager came over and asked how much weight I have lost because she can see a difference.
Yes, I'm proud of myself but most of all I am thankful that someone, somewhere has us in their prayers. Several years ago, when times were better for us, we gave this woman (who was on a disability and who had a son with severe learning disabilities) a lot of our belongings. We were lucky because when we bought this house from my mom she had left it furnished. Anyway, we gave this woman (we have never met) a fridge, microwave, tv, beds, chesterfield, kitchen table, etc and she told the person who delivered it that she would never stop praying for us....so Daphne wherever you are...thank you! And to any of you, thank you as well.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Hello and Happy Monday to you all,
I just realized that it will be one week tomorrow since I last blogged (where does the time go?) and that blog was about S.A.D. I hope my absence didn't cause any concern and have any of you worrying that the depression was worsening. Guess I really should have written a follow-up blog sooner! Oops!
I've had a good week actually despite my back flaring up several times. Funny thing is I can apparently walk , dance and exercise without any flare ups but getting up out of a chair downright kills me. Go figure. It is quite funny if you think about it and has made me laugh several times this week. Like the day my husband picked me up outside our local mall and when I got into the car the pain struck. I think I caused several shoppers to stop dead in their tracks with the YELP I made and then I had to haul my right leg into the car by grabbing on to my pant's leg. Then there was the small issue of closing the car door. Being the true rednecks that we are, I told John not to get out but to simply reverse the car quickly and then slam on the brakes! Worked like a charm and yet another life lesson gained from shows like "The Dukes of Hazard"
I exercised every day last week for at least 30 minutes so that was good. My weight went down .8 of a pound which was another plus. Still struggling with the nutrition tracker but I'm NOT giving up. No, siree, I am not giving up as that is the one thing I have yet to master and I am taking it on as a personal challenge.
We had our Christmas social with the college on Saturday night. The tables only seat 8 and it seemed like a lot of people wanted to sit with moi. Go figure. Apparently my husband and I keep people amused with our stories and our antics. Last year our table was voted the table that everybody wanted to sit with...even though of all of us only one person was drinking alcohol. I think I drank between six to eight glasses of water during the night and was the dancing fool (see, I told you my back only acts up when I sit!).
Oh, and guess who won the prize for the table AND the door prize!?!? ME!!!! You would have laughed at me because the door prize consisted of two bottles of wine, wine glasses, a gift certificate to a nice restaurant, two Christmas movies, a Christmas CD, and more candy and chocolates than one would think possible. So, what did Susan do with the latter - opened it all up and went around table to table and offered it up. And to think my co-workers now think I am so generous when in reality I just wanted it all gone!!!! I had two candies and a handful of cheesies but other than that nothing.
Which brings me to a question I have for all of you. As you probably know times are sort of tough right now with only my part-time salary keeping us going. We've made cutbacks and have notified our families that we would not be exchanging Christmas gifts this year. But we forgot to tell our next door neighbours who always come over to our house on Christmas Eve and we have a small meal together and we have gifts for the couple and their 28 year old daughter. I'm thinking it is kind of late to say "no presents' so what do you think about the policy of re-gifting? I was thinking the wine would make a nice gift for Wayne and Chris and I have a nice cosmetic bag my mom gave me last year (still with tags attached and it did cost $35 !) that I could give their daughter...oh, and Mom is fine with it!. Would that be really cheesy? I really would like to be able to afford gifts for everybody but we can't this year so I've made up my mind about it. What do you all think? I'm sure some of you must be in the same financial situation.
Well, if you are still reading I commend your dedication! We once had a neighbour who fought in World War 1 and he had an expression to let you know if you were talking too much...."Save a slice for tomorrow"
I must take his advice and sign off! Take care and have a wonderful week ahead.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
November and March have always been hard months for me to deal with because along with dliniccal depression I also have another form of depression called Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder. On their own they are hard enough to deal with but when the two unite - well lets just say it can be unpleasant!
So, what am I going to do? Well, I've decided to embrace who I am lumps, bumps and mood disorders. I'm tired of fighting and I am going to welcome S.A.D. into my life just as you would a stranger. But here is the catch - I am making ground rules and have let this little evil friend of depression know that I am stronger now and it won't be so easy to bring me to my knees. I've already given it "the talk".
It went something like this:
I don't like you anymore than you probably don't like me. I am putting up with you because I have to and simply ignoring you won't make you go away. But when you are living under my roof you are going to live by my rules. Yes, you can throw a pity party but it will not be a regular occurrance. Yes, you can make me feel tired but I am not going to eat out of boredom. I will still exercise and if I feel I need a nap, I will take one. I am in control and you are along, well, because I really can't toss you to the wolves....the poor wolves wouldn't want you anymore than I do! I will turn on every light in the house if I have to and I will use my light therapy box. And don't think I'm above telling my SparkFriends about you and your behaviour!!!! If you get too much for me to handle I will seek help!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Well, truth be told I'm happy most days which is kind of odd since I have depression. I think that is why most people I know cannot believe that I have been suicidal in my life but I tell them I'm a really good actress. Anyway, this is not to preach about mental illness nor my acting abilities (or lack thereof!) but to share some good news.
If you've been reading my blogs you know that a) I'm been walking the Newfoundland T'Railway, b) I've been involved in the Fall 5% Challenge and c) I'm slightly crazy....snuck (a Newfoundland term for the past-tense of sneak) that one in just in case you thought this was going to be a dry blog! Oh, and please, don't tell me I shouldn't call myself crazy!!! It is not meant as a slight to my "mental illness" but an acknowledgement that once you accept that deep down we are all slightly mad life really does start to make more sense!
So, why am I happy? Isn't it obvious - I found Spark, I have made some fantastic SparkFriends, I'm changing my life for the better, I have a wonderful husband, my depression is under control, I have two hilarious dogs, I have a roof over my head, and nobody is shooting at us!
WHAT? You want more?! Well, lets see, in my virtual walk across our island I'm 3/4 the way there! I don't know the actual km check but it is over 650 under my belt. And, I finished my very first challenge and although I didn't lose the 5% I did lose 9 pounds. I think 10.5 would have been my official 5% but the point is I lost 9 pounds.
I am trying my hardest now to work on my toughest challenge - to use the nutrition tracker. I have done it faithfully for the past few days and each day I fill in that information it is that much closer to becoming a habit. I might not get my quotas in each day but at least by tracking I can see what areas I need to improve on. So far, I've saved $10 from eating breakfast at home and that money will be my spending money when I go to St. John's shopping in mid-December! That is my incentive not to eat my breakfast out.....I get to take what I would have spent and can reward myself later on with a new piece of clothing or whatever! That was my husband's idea and I think it is great!
Sure hope you are all fine! It is sunny but chilly here today - when I was out for my walk I had to wear my wool hat and mittens but it was sunny!
P.S. I just tallied my fitness minutes for the 5% Fall Challenge and I managed to get in 3902 minutes since September 24th.
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