Monday, November 28, 2011
Hello and Happy Monday to you all,
I just realized that it will be one week tomorrow since I last blogged (where does the time go?) and that blog was about S.A.D. I hope my absence didn't cause any concern and have any of you worrying that the depression was worsening. Guess I really should have written a follow-up blog sooner! Oops!
I've had a good week actually despite my back flaring up several times. Funny thing is I can apparently walk , dance and exercise without any flare ups but getting up out of a chair downright kills me. Go figure. It is quite funny if you think about it and has made me laugh several times this week. Like the day my husband picked me up outside our local mall and when I got into the car the pain struck. I think I caused several shoppers to stop dead in their tracks with the YELP I made and then I had to haul my right leg into the car by grabbing on to my pant's leg. Then there was the small issue of closing the car door. Being the true rednecks that we are, I told John not to get out but to simply reverse the car quickly and then slam on the brakes! Worked like a charm and yet another life lesson gained from shows like "The Dukes of Hazard"
I exercised every day last week for at least 30 minutes so that was good. My weight went down .8 of a pound which was another plus. Still struggling with the nutrition tracker but I'm NOT giving up. No, siree, I am not giving up as that is the one thing I have yet to master and I am taking it on as a personal challenge.
We had our Christmas social with the college on Saturday night. The tables only seat 8 and it seemed like a lot of people wanted to sit with moi. Go figure. Apparently my husband and I keep people amused with our stories and our antics. Last year our table was voted the table that everybody wanted to sit with...even though of all of us only one person was drinking alcohol. I think I drank between six to eight glasses of water during the night and was the dancing fool (see, I told you my back only acts up when I sit!).
Oh, and guess who won the prize for the table AND the door prize!?!? ME!!!! You would have laughed at me because the door prize consisted of two bottles of wine, wine glasses, a gift certificate to a nice restaurant, two Christmas movies, a Christmas CD, and more candy and chocolates than one would think possible. So, what did Susan do with the latter - opened it all up and went around table to table and offered it up. And to think my co-workers now think I am so generous when in reality I just wanted it all gone!!!! I had two candies and a handful of cheesies but other than that nothing.
Which brings me to a question I have for all of you. As you probably know times are sort of tough right now with only my part-time salary keeping us going. We've made cutbacks and have notified our families that we would not be exchanging Christmas gifts this year. But we forgot to tell our next door neighbours who always come over to our house on Christmas Eve and we have a small meal together and we have gifts for the couple and their 28 year old daughter. I'm thinking it is kind of late to say "no presents' so what do you think about the policy of re-gifting? I was thinking the wine would make a nice gift for Wayne and Chris and I have a nice cosmetic bag my mom gave me last year (still with tags attached and it did cost $35 !) that I could give their daughter...oh, and Mom is fine with it!. Would that be really cheesy? I really would like to be able to afford gifts for everybody but we can't this year so I've made up my mind about it. What do you all think? I'm sure some of you must be in the same financial situation.
Well, if you are still reading I commend your dedication! We once had a neighbour who fought in World War 1 and he had an expression to let you know if you were talking too much...."Save a slice for tomorrow"
I must take his advice and sign off! Take care and have a wonderful week ahead.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
November and March have always been hard months for me to deal with because along with dliniccal depression I also have another form of depression called Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder. On their own they are hard enough to deal with but when the two unite - well lets just say it can be unpleasant!
So, what am I going to do? Well, I've decided to embrace who I am lumps, bumps and mood disorders. I'm tired of fighting and I am going to welcome S.A.D. into my life just as you would a stranger. But here is the catch - I am making ground rules and have let this little evil friend of depression know that I am stronger now and it won't be so easy to bring me to my knees. I've already given it "the talk".
It went something like this:
I don't like you anymore than you probably don't like me. I am putting up with you because I have to and simply ignoring you won't make you go away. But when you are living under my roof you are going to live by my rules. Yes, you can throw a pity party but it will not be a regular occurrance. Yes, you can make me feel tired but I am not going to eat out of boredom. I will still exercise and if I feel I need a nap, I will take one. I am in control and you are along, well, because I really can't toss you to the wolves....the poor wolves wouldn't want you anymore than I do! I will turn on every light in the house if I have to and I will use my light therapy box. And don't think I'm above telling my SparkFriends about you and your behaviour!!!! If you get too much for me to handle I will seek help!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Well, truth be told I'm happy most days which is kind of odd since I have depression. I think that is why most people I know cannot believe that I have been suicidal in my life but I tell them I'm a really good actress. Anyway, this is not to preach about mental illness nor my acting abilities (or lack thereof!) but to share some good news.
If you've been reading my blogs you know that a) I'm been walking the Newfoundland T'Railway, b) I've been involved in the Fall 5% Challenge and c) I'm slightly crazy....snuck (a Newfoundland term for the past-tense of sneak) that one in just in case you thought this was going to be a dry blog! Oh, and please, don't tell me I shouldn't call myself crazy!!! It is not meant as a slight to my "mental illness" but an acknowledgement that once you accept that deep down we are all slightly mad life really does start to make more sense!
So, why am I happy? Isn't it obvious - I found Spark, I have made some fantastic SparkFriends, I'm changing my life for the better, I have a wonderful husband, my depression is under control, I have two hilarious dogs, I have a roof over my head, and nobody is shooting at us!
WHAT? You want more?! Well, lets see, in my virtual walk across our island I'm 3/4 the way there! I don't know the actual km check but it is over 650 under my belt. And, I finished my very first challenge and although I didn't lose the 5% I did lose 9 pounds. I think 10.5 would have been my official 5% but the point is I lost 9 pounds.
I am trying my hardest now to work on my toughest challenge - to use the nutrition tracker. I have done it faithfully for the past few days and each day I fill in that information it is that much closer to becoming a habit. I might not get my quotas in each day but at least by tracking I can see what areas I need to improve on. So far, I've saved $10 from eating breakfast at home and that money will be my spending money when I go to St. John's shopping in mid-December! That is my incentive not to eat my breakfast out.....I get to take what I would have spent and can reward myself later on with a new piece of clothing or whatever! That was my husband's idea and I think it is great!
Sure hope you are all fine! It is sunny but chilly here today - when I was out for my walk I had to wear my wool hat and mittens but it was sunny!
P.S. I just tallied my fitness minutes for the 5% Fall Challenge and I managed to get in 3902 minutes since September 24th.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
I'm sneaking this quick blog in while at work this morning so if I suddenly start typing in "due dates" it is because of that....oh, yeah...I work in a library and not on a maternity ward!
I've re-examined what has been working for me and what hasn't. I've kicked to the curb certain expectations of myself (like being perfect) and I'm moving on.
Since I need a daily poke in the ribcage (well, actually a stick of dynamite up my butt most days) I have signed up for not one but two challenges. I've learned from the current Fall 5% challenge team that I like daily and/or weekly challenges. Some of the things we have been encouraged to do have been to drink our water, exercise, get sufficient sleep, thank ourselves, eat our freggies and the one I have the most trouble with....TRACK OUR FOOD!!! Alas this challenge will be over at the end of this week - so a challenge-shopping I went!
We eat out a lot! There I confessed to it and if you have ever been to my neck of the woods the choices for eating out aren't the best with regards to nutrition. We have the chicken joints, McDonalds, Subway, Don Cherry's and a few local restaurants. Now this is trouble for me for a few reasons - our money is tight and there are very few healthy choices to be found on most of these menus. There is one place that I always order a hamburger and garden salad (which is yummy I might add!) so that is where I have tried to eat. The problem is we eat there too often! You want to know how often - the staff has our order of drinks ready for us (diet pepsi and water for me) and have our names written on the napkins with smiley faces! When it is time to order we say "the usual" and nothing else! Friends and family are always amazed at the service we get.......ha!
Okay, to get to the point of this blog - I joined the Spark Healthy cooking challenge which I wrote about the other day. I cooked at home last night and have tonight's supper planned out. I even tracked my food! Yipee!
The second challenge I joined is not related to Spark but one which a fellow Sparker happened to mention on my SparkPage or one of my blogs. It is called "100 Days Challenge" and I signed up for the e-mails. Apparently there is a book to go with it but I am just going to use the online resources and I have printed off the journal for recording the daily assignments.
I need to find something that works for me! Be it stickers and small rewards! A daily incentive! I was even thinking about paying myself a small amount of money for using the nutrition tracker. As it is now I spend about $3.50 a day at Tim Hortons - maybe I could eat at home for breakfast and save part of that money? Have you figured out that I'm talking to myself here? Jeepers, $3.50 a day x 7 days a week = $24.50!!! So, I guess it is tea at home tomorrow morning!
I read an interesting article on Chatelaine's website this morning (hey, I get to do this kind of "research" as part of my job!) and it was all about whether or not we should be weighing ourselves. It said that the number on the scale is not what we should be concentrating on....surprise, surprise. But for me I need to concentrate on that number for awhile because it isn't moving! I'm going to continue to weigh in once a week (just to make sure things are moving in the right direction) while continuing to exercise, drink my water, sleep, track my food, cook at home, and did I mention track my food!
Sorry to "talk your ears off"! I hope you are all doing well! I really am going to try to catch up with you all because I miss you!
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