Monday, October 17, 2011
Yep, you really have things bungled now don't you. You ate chips two days in a row and didn't go to the gym in almost a week. Betcha feel like quitting, don't you? You should, because you are nothing but a failure and you are going to quit one of these days anyway. Cue the sound of a car screeching to a halt but instead of a car it is my racing thoughts......
Okay, so here is the version I am re-writing...cue the sound of crumpled up paper........
I love you warts and all. You are not perfect and you have slipped up (albeit very mildly) but in your opinion that doesn't matter. You are still thinking you slipped up and therefore have no option but to quit. Seems like you are letting your perfectionism psycho win...again! If one of your dearest SparkFriends wrote about this same topic you would be the one telling them to learn from their mistakes, move on and learn from the experience. Why are you so different? Is it because for the first 45 years of your life you have let the psycho tell you how you should feel? I'm thinking that is what is going on. So, you know what you are going to do? YOU are going to think of all the positive things you did over the past week - the week you think was a complete waste and has you wanting to throw in the towel.
Yep, you managed to get in over 500 fitness minutes last week, you helped organize and completed a fundraiser for feral cats, you spent a wonderful day with your mom, you were told by several people how happy you look, you cooked several meals at home, you had two doctor's appointments, you worked each day, you talked a dear friend through a tough time, you blogged several times, you were active on Spark and you ate chips. Why does the last thing somehow erase all of the good things you did...and who said chips were that bad anyway? Remember moderation?!
Anyway, you went back to the gym today and guess what? There were no alarm bells ringing that announced to everybody that it was almost a week since you've been there. The important thing is you went! You are making an effort AND you are not quitting, plain and simple!
P.S. I think you are beginning to realize that the psycho in your head doesn't have the final say anymore...you are starting to fight back! So proud of you!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
I'm not about to start bashing any of my friends but I came to a realization this week that has been another of my personal moments! I have to plan ahead at all times and cannot let my friends lead me astray with their unhealthy choices. Only then will I be a positive role model!
One of my dearest friends is about ten years older than I am. She is also the head of the humane society that I am involved with so I interact with her quite frequently. However, for the past month of so we haven't been together a whole lot due to both of us being quite busy. Me with my new exercise and fitness adventure and her with her granddaughter!
Well, for the past week or so we were together almost everyday planning a dog walk in a neighbouring community. It was a fundraiser to help with the Trap, Spay & Neuter, and Release program we are involved with because of a huge problem with feral (wild) cats. Today was the actual walk but we did up "treat bags", educational pamphlets, kerchiefs for the dogs, media interviews, etc...etc....
She eats horribly and can't exercise due to health issues. And I let her food choices be mine over the past few days. Just yesterday while on a last ditch run to Walmart to pick up last minute supplies she bought me a bag of chips and a chocolate bar and then took me out to supper at a fried chicken joint. Oh course, I was starved but if I had been prepared it wouldn't have been so bad. Some fruit and a simple sandwich would have gone a long ways to curb my hunger and I wouldn't be so poisoned with myself today.
Anyway, since I am learning that I can't just blog about a problem without coming up with a solution (this is yet another moment) I am devising a backup plan for times like this. I also didn't get to the gym all week AND I didn't get as much walking in as I wished but I did glean some knowledge. Ultimately, any decisions I make are made by ME and I cannot let a well-meaning friend cause me to veer off the course I've decided to follow.
I don't have to chose between a great friend and a new lifestyle ~ I just have to plan ahead!
P.S. Tomorrow is another day so I'm not knocking myself out worrying about a week full of questionable decisions....a year ago I would have just quit but now I'm moving on!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
This was sent to me by a dear gay friend who lost his mom to breast cancer. Ironically enough his partner's mom is a breast cancer survivor. It is funny yet certainly gets the message across!
Busy day ahead for me....dog walk tomorrow to raise funds to neuter/spay a feral cat colony in a nearby community. Today we have to finish all of the details.....sshhhhh....don't tell Maddy and Louisa they are walking for cats.....growl!
P.S. I am typing this with no glasses on as I have misplaced them again.....have to wait until my husband gets home to resume the search!!! Blind as a bat......
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Yes, for somebody who lives with mental illness on a daily basis I think it is ironic that I think I've been taken over by a crazy lady. Maybe it is just my warped sense of humour coming to light but I really do have to wonder who I am turning into.
I know from experience that depression is a nasty, nasty illness and one over which you have little control. But you do have a wee bit of control and you've got to fight back even if your efforts are unnoticeable to others. When I was truly depressed I didn't want to get out of bed much less have the energy to put one foot in front of the other. And people telling me to exercise, well, they just didn't understand. Sure it sounds good - move you body and it will suddenly release all of these feel good hormones - but for somebody truly depressed the solution isn't that easy.
But now that my depression is quite manageable (knock on wood) I have learned to incorporate exercise into my little bag of magic tricks that keeps me on track. It is there along with my daily multi-vitamin, time my dogs, a good night's sleep, a warm bath and my husband's love. By itself I don't think it would have done the trick but now exercise is helping to keep me on an even keel.
I've been feeling low the past few days but I've kept walking. I didn't make it to the gym many days but I have walked at least five kilometres each day which is a far cry from how I reacted to stress even a few months ago. Who knew that a few hundred kilometres under my belt could make such a difference? Wow!
So to those who live with depression cut yourself some slack. Don't expect that exercise will be an overnight cure but consider it something to add to your routine of "feel good tricks". It has certainly been working for me!
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