Sunday, September 18, 2011
Jeepers, I really have to get back into the swing of things before I lose sight of the reasons I'm on this journey. I was sitting here this morning watching my laundry blow gently in the breeze all the while my dogs were racing around our back garden without an apparent care in the world. Oh, and I had a cup of coffee in my hand and I was wearing my pjs, the sun was out and I should be happy, right? I am happy I guess (thankfully this month I had no raging hormonal fluctuations with that time of the month) but I feel like something is missing.
Then my inner went off and I admitted to myself what is bothering me. A) I pledged to track my food during the past week and only complied for two days, B) I haven't exercised in three days, C) I have lost touch with many of my dearest Spark friends simply because
So, I am turning this negative thinking around. I gave myself a pat on the back for tracking those two day, I am going to go for a long hike today and I will touch base with my Spark friends and move on.
I guess they are Non-scale victories in themselves but for me the biggest lesson was that I am really enjoying my new lifestyle! I actually miss exercising! I look forward to getting on Spark! I love drinking all that water! But the biggest NSV for me has to be that not once did the thoughts of giving it all up cross my mind! For years I called myself the Queen of Quitting due to no self-confidence and fears of trying anything new. As soon as I began to feel out of my comfort zone I quit! Plain and simple!
Many people view their journey as being similar to a kid learning to ride a new bike. Yes, that is an appropriate analogy for many but for me it is so much more. First I learned to get back up on that bike and try, try again until I could stay on. Then I actually learned to appreciate the feeling of riding the bike and now I'm learning how to do other things while riding. I'm learning how to read myself and how to be honest with my feelings.
My bicycle comes with many, many parts: there is my depression, my lack of self-confidence, my fear of failure, my fear of dying of preventable diseases, my avoidance of exercise, my weight gain, and the list goes on and on. At any given day on my journey I might have additional baggage in my bike basket but I'm still working those pedals. I am not giving up!!!
The Queen of Quitting has been dethroned along with the Princess of Perfection, the Prince of panic and the King of Knocking myself down! I'm the new ruler of me! There is a new Queen in town.........and I'm loving it!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
The time seems to be slipping by and I simply cannot believe that this is almost the middle of September and that I have yet to catch up with most of your blogs...some SparkFriend I turned out to be! I've even been going to work about twenty minutes early just to log in but that is somehow failing as when I log into Spark with my username I keep being directed to another Sparker's page!
And, I've been busy getting my exercise in and NOT tracking my food! AAAAARRRGGHH! So much for my plans to do so. I was all ready to do so but then Sunday night our beloved Louisa decided to get into the kitchen garbage right after we had carved a ham and she became very, very sick. We were up with her until 4:30 a.m. the first night and my alarm goes off at 7:00 so I didn't even think about healthy eating let alone tracking! She was still sick into yesterday so we rushed her to the vet where she was awarded the Academy Award for a Canine pretending to be well! They feared it was pancreatitis (spelling?) but things are looking up with just some medicine and a $300 vet bill! (AND, no, that is not my funny story!)
Yesterday was off the books with reasons why I didn't track. First it was Louisa and then it was a call mid-morning that a 4 week old kitten was found in a burning dump about 1 hour away so off we went. My friend did have a Fibre One bar for me and I had water but that was about it until we grabbed some fried chicken and fries about six hours later!!!!
Today, I we had an emergency meeting at work, the kitten had to be taken to the vet, our hot water tank broke (!) and so I had McDonalds for supper....small fries and a cheeseburger. But I'm aware of how not having a back up plan works against me so lesson learned!!!! Time to stock the freezer with "emergency" meals and the fridge with grab and go snacks!
Okay, so here is my funny story. Please put down any hot beverages you happen to be drinking as I cannot be held accountable for scalds!!! Over the weekend, John and I took the dogs across the river into the wilds of Central Newfoundland for our normal walk. Since it was a bit warm and I was a bit contrary (okay, make that a whole lot contrary!) I wanted to walk by myself to blow off steam. First of all we walked together but old stubborn guts here (yes, I'm talking about myself!) wanted to get her 5 km in and set off by herself. I was walking along and got thinking about my friend who worries about me walking by myself when I heard a truck approaching. So, I did what every sane woman does who has an inkling of fear....I hid in the bushes! I heard the truck slow down and the driver get out so I peaked out and saw it was a truck like ours. I thought, "how sweet, John came looking for me" and jumped out of the bushes while calling out "YooHoo....I'm over here" when I realized it wasn't John! To make matters worse the man was taking a pee in the middle of the road!!! I almost needed to pee from laughing but I just waved hello and kept walking as if it is a normal habit of mine to jump out of bushes at strange men! When I finally got to our truck John asked if I saw the man and I said, with a wink, boy did I ever!!!! I wonder if the poor man has gotten over the fright yet?!
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
We have just had one of the nicest Labour Day weekends with regards to weather that we have had in some years and for that I am very, very thankful. Today, however, the skies are cloudy but I'm still riding the high of the weekend. We had two lots of company (none of which actually stayed overnight) so it was nice to catch up with friends to see where they are in their lives.
Other than "entertaining", I spent the weekend relaxing. I finally finished "The Book of Negroes" by Lawrence Hill which I have to say was a really good book. I always judge a book on whether or not I am thinking about the characters when I am not actually reading and one that I long to finish but yet am saddened when I do. Do you guys have any favourites that you'd be willing to share?
Okay, so I know some of you rushed to read this blog because of the title so I will get to the point of my blog. At 45 years old, I have discovered the dirty little secret of weight loss. The secret....well, that is just it.....there is no secret because the thing that works for you may not work for me!
The idea for this blog came to me this morning when I was talking to a student who lost 100 pounds since January 2011. She was proud of herself but when I asked what she did her reply was to "watch what I ate". Intrigued, I dug a little deeper. Turns out this woman had been consuming at least a 2 litre of cola every day along with fried food and every meal was junk food! She suddenly stopped that and ate "normal" foods and gave up the cola....voila!
So what does that mean to you and I? Well, I don't drink very much cola as I strive to get my water in each day along with an additional 2 glasses of skim milk. We do not fry anything and I view junk food as an occasional treat. That being said, I haven't lost 100 pounds since January and nor would I want to as I think that is a bit too fast.
I really think my lack of success at the scales comes down to simple math.....I either eat too many calories or too little. I really hadn't realized before that consuming too few calories can backfire on your weight loss attempts. I know I've upped my exercise (I have two more months to go before my measurements will be taken again at the Y but I'm really feeling a difference in my abilities), my weight keeps fluctuating but I know I'm not keeping track of what I eat. (insert slap on the wrist here!)
So my dirty little secret is I have to faithfully record what I eat so I can determine whether or not (on average) I am eating too few or too many calories over a month. That is my goal for September! I will continue on with the exercise but I have to start being serious about recording my food!!!!
P.S. I'm temporarily removng my food tracker from public view as I am a "perfectionist in recovery". Hence, if it is not perfect I won't track in case you all think I'm horrible (which I agree is a total twisted way of looking at things but hey, that is the inner perfectionist speaking!). So, I'm going to track it all for the time being just for me!
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