PCOH051610   51,196
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PCOH051610's Recent Blog Entries

This is it folks...I'm leaving Spark...sorry to disappoint you all!

Friday, April 01, 2011

Hi,

After much soul-searching, I've decided to leave Spark. Yes, it is a wonderful program but I am just not ready to make the changes in my life that the Spark program encourages. I'm miserable from feeling guilty all the time, trying to eat right so I won't be judged, and exercising just to get a few extra SparkPoints.

I've made some good friends along the way and I know some of you will be really upset with me for leaving Spark on such short notice. I've made up my mind and I have given this a lot of thought so please don't try to convince me otherwise.

In conclusion, there are many things I would like to say but the most important one is


























Happy April Fool's Day!!!!!! I'm not going anywhere! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PUNKINPIE178 4/2/2011 8:29PM

    Wow, that was a good one! My mouth was hanging open and everything. Lol

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MESEATURTLE 4/2/2011 7:51AM

    u got me!!!!

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FLOWERDALEJEWEL 4/2/2011 6:23AM

   

Ya silly bugger, had me going there for a minute ..... Bad Susan!!!

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DOLLYSMUM 4/2/2011 2:28AM

  emoticon emoticon

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IBECCA 4/2/2011 12:48AM

    heheheh

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JIBBIE49 4/2/2011 12:31AM

    Yeah, you got me!! emoticon I thought you were going to say you were going over to "Facebook."

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NANANANCYW 4/1/2011 11:39PM

  Me too! I have been had!
You are actually my first and only April fools joke of the day!
So glad you are Joking!!
Funny Girl! emoticon emoticon emoticon
Must be the emoticon in you! emoticon
Glad you had such a fun day!!

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TISHA80 4/1/2011 11:15PM

    I saw that my friend had commented on this blog. Since I always hate when anyone leaves SP, I came by to read and leave support. You got me good. I had forgotten that it was April Fool's Day. LOL Good one!
emoticon

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BLUEINKPEN 4/1/2011 11:10PM

    LOL...You got me!

emoticon

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CHANGING_LIFE 4/1/2011 10:51PM

    That was the only April Fool I got! Haha!
Glad you aren't leaving; I would really miss you!

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GAYLE-G-63 4/1/2011 9:09PM

    YOU ARE ROTTEN!!!

That being said...

ROFLMAO!!!



Comment edited on: 4/1/2011 9:10:49 PM

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VICKILYN4 4/1/2011 8:35PM

    GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't do that to me. I got goose bumps and was getting ready to ask for you facebook name. Which you can add me if you have one. My heart is pounding!! Although...that was a good one!!! Let's just not repeat it next year!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I bet I lost a pound...see all that sweat you made me lose.

Love ya girlie emoticon Vicki

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LEANJEAN6 4/1/2011 8:13PM

    Yu got me--- At first I felt so sad -to see yu go--then I started laughing--Pretty good yu!!!

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ANDI571 4/1/2011 7:58PM

    I saw this on my friend feed, and you got me too. Funny! emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 4/1/2011 7:52PM

    I followed a friend over, and "Ya got me!" ... evil one! emoticon

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JENN03275 4/1/2011 7:40PM

    You got me! I was all ready to write a supoortive comment on your decision. Though I don't know you, glad you are staying!!

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ERIKO1908 4/1/2011 7:40PM

    Stopped by to see what this was all about...didn't necessarily jump in all the way...figured it was more of a temporary leave if anything...and that you'd come back when you were ready...then got to the bottom and laughed...see...nothing to worry about...

(am glad there is no break-taking!! - you would be missed SO much!!!)

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ANITA_NM 4/1/2011 7:19PM

    LOL! Saw this because a friend commented, and wanted to follow through and offer support. You got me! :) emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FIT_BY40 4/1/2011 6:55PM

    Ok. I saw this from another friends post. I don't know you and you caught me for a loop. Great April Fools Day joke. You got me, lol.

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SHAN2SHAGG 4/1/2011 6:36PM

    cute!!!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 4/1/2011 6:30PM

    Lol you got me. good for you

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INBRAZILFORNOW 4/1/2011 6:11PM

    oh gosh...got me too!

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PRETTYBLKGYRL 4/1/2011 6:07PM

    good one emoticon

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LESLIES537 4/1/2011 5:44PM

    emoticon

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BELIEVER104 4/1/2011 5:40PM

    bahahahahahahaha I saw this because one of my sparkfriends commented... I was soo sad while I was reading. Best April Fool's joke so far... and I taught a bunch of tricksters today :)

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CHRISTINA_TNRN 4/1/2011 5:33PM

    Nice!!! Like many, saw this through a friend who commented before me. And was intrigued and wanted to offer encouragement and support...dang..just call me SUCKER!!!! emoticon

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CHRISTINA791 4/1/2011 4:57PM

    Oh, I like you emoticon

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DRGOMTI 4/1/2011 3:54PM

    YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna come up there n give u a big ??##@$%^&&^%#@@!!!!!! You sure had me going! I thought, "oh great! Now what am I gonna do without Susan???" Almost gave me a heart attack! I guess I'm a real sucker for April fools! OH THANK GOD IT'S NOT TRUE!!!! emoticon WHEW!!
emoticondr

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BESTSUSIEYET 4/1/2011 3:24PM

    FUN! Happy April!

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LQUEST4754 4/1/2011 3:24PM

  You ornery thing! I saw the title of your blog through one of my spark friends. I came to encourage you! lol! You got Me,

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RHONDALYN36 4/1/2011 1:53PM

    nice one....had me fooled

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BOVEY63 4/1/2011 1:48PM

    You stinker!!! You really had me going!
emoticon
Have a great day and weekend!

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TALLERANT 4/1/2011 1:29PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TARANITUP 4/1/2011 1:08PM

    LOL... I had a ton of real objections to spout out to try to ask you not to leave

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KAYDE53 4/1/2011 12:54PM

    .....I just had a feeling!! But I wanted to make sure!!! Goood one!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ARTEMIS0421 4/1/2011 12:53PM

    HAHAHA That was awesome!!! You totally got me, and I don't even know you! LOL
One of my friends left a comment here and when I read the title I was like "oh no, that's terrible, even though I don't know her!!" lol
Very well done!!!

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STEPHERANNE 4/1/2011 11:51AM

    LOL this was awesome... one of my friends commented on your blog so I went to see what you said. I don't even know you and was like "aww emoticon " but then I got to the bottom. I had COMPLETELY forgotten it's April Fool's Day!! So thanks for the reminder! hahaha... and glad you're not leaving Spark People emoticon

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AARONSGIRL420 4/1/2011 11:47AM

    I was not a friend, I am a friend of a few of your friends...but after this I am so adding you!

Happy April Fool's Day!

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KAMAPERRY 4/1/2011 11:32AM

    OMG!! I was so upset!!!!! You got me, chickie!! emoticon emoticon

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WALKZWDOGZ 4/1/2011 11:31AM

    Not a thing to do to a friend who has yet to have morning coffee! emoticon

emoticon

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RATTOAC 4/1/2011 11:10AM

    HAHAHAHHAHA that was so cute!!! hehehehehehehehehehheh

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ARTSY_CANDICE 4/1/2011 10:47AM

    LOL You got me and I was just stopping by your page! Good one!

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JUDI_CUTIE 4/1/2011 10:14AM

    Oh boy! I forgot what day it was!!! Whew!

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GOOZLEBEAR 4/1/2011 9:50AM

    Okay, you got me. I was just beginning to get real upset and trying to figure out what I could say to get you to stay!!!! Great joke but I'm so thankful it was a joke!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHLOE453 4/1/2011 9:50AM

    OK....you got me good. I went into panic mode for a second until I got to the bottom of your blog. It is funny how dependent you become on your SP friends to keep you going daily.....you are certainly one of those people that keeps me here. Hope you have a wonderful day. Hugs~~Kelly

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BANDMAMAPC 4/1/2011 9:48AM

    At first I thought she is really serious and then I started scrolling down and it was a joke! You got me worried, for a while. emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 4/1/2011 9:47AM

    HA! HA! I kept thinking as I was reading... "Uh UH! Not her! She's too funny! This HAS to be an April Fools!" So let it be known that THIS TX friend of yours was NOT fooled with this blog! Also, APRIL FOOLs DAY is my FAVORITE, so it takes one to know one!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 4/1/2011 9:30AM

    That's awful! I miss a few days of sparking (internet problems)... and I didn't even realize the day, so I didn't have a heads up.... then I read that & thought WHAT HAPPENED?! Yikes! You got me. Happy April Fool's Trickster. emoticon

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S3XYDIVASMOM 4/1/2011 9:14AM

    You did. You got me. I could hardly believe it after this last week's new burst of enthusiasm and I felt helpless to do anything about it. That's one of the downsides to our virtual friendships. People go away and you never know why and there's no way to persuade them to come back. I' m so glad this wasn't for real.

I just logged on to record my 5:45 class. I'm now "on guard" ready for the rest of my day.

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MEMARE 4/1/2011 8:57AM

    You sure are the jokester today! emoticon
I'm glad it's just an April Fools trick and that you are not really leaving... Cuz I would miss your wonderful blogs and seeing you on my friend feed. emoticon

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Last day of March!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Well, I did it! I survived another March month which you all know (if you've been reading my blogs) is my most troublesome month for SAD and my overall depression.

My boss sees me today and she made a big point of asking how I was feeling, and how glad she is to see my face back to work. Those few words made me feel like a million bucks for a few minutes and then the negative thoughts crowded in. I kept thinking "what does my boss really want?"

I realize I have a big problem accepting compliments and I do a fine job at negative reinforcement. For example, today I wore a particular cardigan that I particularly don't like. I think I received five compliments on that sweater in the space of one hour. Then somebody told me that I dressed nice and I replied, "you need your vision checked". Why is it so hard for me to accept a compliment? By this negative self-talk, am I deliberately sabotaging my hopes to succeed? I joke about my appearance all the time and say things like, "oh, here comes Ms. Double Chins, or Not bad for a fat girl"

I would never look at somebody and say those things but yet I say them to myself all the time. Several of you have suggested that I look in the mirror and say "I'm beautiful" but that sounds terribly vain to me. And besides, I don't see a beautiful person looking back at me in the mirror. I see a gap toothed, freckled face, redhead with too many chins and a big nose.

It makes me wonder, how does one learn to love oneself? I think I have a good heart and I am compassionate but if I am, why can't I give myself a break? Hmmmm? Outer beauty is not a cherished thing in our family (if you saw the lot of us, you would know why)...there, I did it again. I use humour to avoid anything to do with looks. Is it because we were preached to as children that vanity is the ultimate sin. I don't know but I'd be interested in hearing what you guys think about me feeling this way.

As for my journey, I have to give a shout out to my SparkFriend S3XYDIVASMOM
who has been looking at my trackers and has been very encouraging all week. God bless you for taking the time to do so. I'm trying hard to make this an honest effort and so far this week has been easy. I haven't had any junk food and I've been eating well. This Saturday my husband and I having a date night so that will involve a meal out. I'm looking forward to that as that will be my treat night.

Okay, enough of my introspection for today!

Susan emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEMPEST272002 4/1/2011 9:51AM

    This is a really thought provoking blog. I might have to write a blog myself on the topic. Hmmm.

Anyhow... I've always considered myself to be on the homely side of the scale. When someone tells me I'm pretty, I have a very hard time knowing what to do with that. On the outside though, I've learned to be gracious with the compliments & just say thank you. Like KAZINMICH said, to do otherwise is almost an insult to the complimenter.

BTW, I think you should give the mirror exercise another try. When I first started it, I couldn't believe the nasty, hateful thoughts I had about myself. Really stunned me, actually. I realize the more I resist something, the more likely it is something I really need to do... don't ya hate that? So I kept at it. It took about a week before I felt any genuine appreciation for what I saw... but only another week after that until I could look in the mirror and like what I saw. It's kind of like exercising... you have to push through the initial discomfort to get to the good stuff.

I find your face to be very attractive. I especailly like your smiling eyes. In my eyes, you ARE beautiful and attractive and someone I want to sit next to and laugh and chat with. Do you think part of the problem is that we're always comparing ourselves to some ideal of 16 year old beauty?

OK, THIS is turning into a blog of its own.

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JLITT62 4/1/2011 5:17AM

    We have all been there - but it's exactly that mindset that will hold you back from achieving your goals. Looking in the mirror & saying you're beautiful isn't vain - it's fake it til you make it. Cause one dat you will actually believe the words you are saying. And that's when you'll know you're on the right path.

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S3XYDIVASMOM 3/31/2011 9:41PM

    I'm a big fan of Bette Midler and her music. One of my favorites is "I'm Beautiful, Dammit" from her Bathhouse Betty album. It's on my MP3 player and, if I start feeling down on myself, I go take a walk, tune into this song, and crank up the volume. Can't help but feel better afterwards.

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VICKILYN4 3/31/2011 7:43PM

    TSK TSK TSK...Susan? Like KAMAPERRY said..you are god's creation. God doesn't make ugly. But the devil does put ugly thoughts into beautiful people. The devil unfortunately puts these thoughts into my daughter when her mouth opens sometimes. She will tell you how it is in a minute. She heard me talking to myself about you last night and asked what was wrong. Hope you don't mind but I told her. She wanted to see who you were and I showed her. She said to me....Mom..why does this women think she is ugly? I think she is pretty and don't see any of the things she says that make her ugly. That just goes to show you..You Are Beautiful. Do I need to send you another sparkgoodie???lol Take care
emoticon Vicki

Comment edited on: 3/31/2011 7:43:41 PM

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BOVEY63 3/31/2011 5:09PM

    I agree that it is sometimes difficult to see the good in ourselves - I suffer with this quite frequently. You are so right about how we would never say such mean things to someone else. Maybe we could use that as a reminder to ourselves.

Have a wonderful date night - you have done so well and really do deserve it!
emoticon

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JUNEBUGG02 3/31/2011 4:22PM

  Hmmm...you are such a thoughtful poster! As a mom of 3 grown (or almost grown) children, I know there is a fine line to walk when teaching your children about beauty. The people who are the most beautiful to me are the ones who are compassionate and who stand up for what is right. As I get to know people like this, they become physcially beautiful to me also. Isn't that interesting! Even the homeliest person becomes beautiful in my eyes. So, I think beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. As I have followed your blogs, you have become quite dear to me and I find your picture to be beautiful - is it because of your physical beauty or your inner beauty? I don't know - they become inseparable! I know some georgeous women who get their self worth from their looks, and as we age, beauty fades. So then, where will that self worth come from? I think it is comforting to be rather average and well-loved by my family - I know they love me for who I am, not how I look.

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JHADZHIA 3/31/2011 3:00PM

    Its part of how you were brought up that its hard to shake. I have the same problem ugly freckled face, pale blue eyes and at one time, fiery red hair. I was constantly the butt of teasing and bullying growing up. I had no self confidence for the very longest time. It wasn't until I took up bridge that I finally found myself. Here was something I could do and not get insulted all the time. I am comfortable in my own skin now, I know I will never have a boyfriend as no one finds my appealing, but I am fine with that as I like being alone. I don't self criticize though. I accept this is what I was born with, I will make the best of it. That you are getting compliments shows your self image is off base. You do have pleasant looks. You just need to convince yourself of that. Like everything else, one step at a time! You have nice, thick hair to die for! Usually, red haired people have thin and sparse hair (like mine). I just make sure my hair is always clean and shiny to point up its nice color.. You can do this too!
emoticon emoticon
Linda

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HOPEFULANGE 3/31/2011 2:35PM

    Look in the mirror and find something you do like. Do that every now and then until you have a list of things you like and concentrate on those.

And don't tell me you can't find something. It means you're not looking hard enough!

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KAZINMICH 3/31/2011 12:59PM

    I'm usually very guilty of doing the same thing as you!! Even with the sweater/clothes!! I've gotten better. One thing I learned is when people say "thank you" say "you're welcome". It sounds simple right? Well, I always said things like, "no problem" or "anytime" So not only was I discounting I did something to help someone out, I was also discounting their thanks! Or compliments replying with a thank you, not a "you think?" or "Really?" lol. I also try to find things I like about myself (yesterday my hair looked great) and I remind myself of these things. After a while I started feeling better about myself. It's a very long process, and I still have bad days, but i feel so much better about myself, even when I was at my heaviest. Since you are aware you do it and want to change you are already half way there!! Be easy on yourself and make conscious choices to change your thinking.

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PARKERB2 3/31/2011 12:33PM

    I believe accepting oneself is a positive step in saying you are beautiful. We are all beautiful in our own way and when we realize it we can move on. Good luck to you and have a happy night out with the hubby. emoticon By the way, you look great to me.

Comment edited on: 3/31/2011 12:34:21 PM

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KAMAPERRY 3/31/2011 12:33PM

    I agree, you do need to work on your self worth, I have to also, I have the same problem accepting compliments and I am slowly getting better. It is not vain though to tell yourself you are beautiful. You are God's creation and therefore beautiful. emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 3/31/2011 12:33PM

    OUCH! You said MEAN things to yourself! You take it back right now! emoticon

THERE! Forgiving yourself is fun, too! emoticon

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2YNG2BEFAT 3/31/2011 12:27PM

  good for you

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Just little ol' me

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Okay, maybe I'm wacky here for using the word "little" to describe my girth but it really was only meant as a figure of speech...for now. Give me a few months and look out! Ha!

I've made it through two days with no junk food and although my calories have been a wee bit over the recommended limit, I am pleased with my efforts. As silly as this sounds, I think I have a solution figured out to my nighttime eating. Going to bed early is working!

My husband gets up at 6:00 so I am getting up at 6:30 when he returns home from a coffee run. I don't have to be to work until 8:00 and it takes me less than 5 minutes to drive to work so I have some time in the morning just for me. I've been sitting back to watch the news and then I bustle around making our bed, opening blinds, doing some prep work for lunch and supper, playing with the dogs, getting myself "beautiful" (HA!!!!) etc.

This is working for several reasons. When I return home lunch time, there is less mess confronting me and I have some idea what I'm going to eat for both lunch and supper. After I eat I have time to take the dogs out and then have a few hours to do errands and prepare out main meal. I'm actually finding this relaxing.

By nightfall, I am usually tuckered out quite a bit. I take my nighttime medication at 8:00 and then I'm asleep by 10:30. I usually walk a bit after supper and then do other chores around the house. I lay out my clothes for the next day and sit back and read something. Sparking is a good pastime too as we have a rule in our house NO eating or drinking while using the laptop! I have a light snack (fruit) and off to bed I go. Notice there is no tv time? I am really cutting back on it as I tend to eat myself senseless in front of it.

Now you are going to laugh at this one but I've also have started dressing up a bit more in the daytime because I only have a month left to work until September and by then my "nice" clothes is going to be too big to wear! How is that for optimism!

Oh, somebody sent me this joke as an e-mail the other day and I thought it summed up my husband and I pretty well. Here it is:

A young thug, wearing a hood, burst into a bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out of the bank a brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face. Angered, the robber shot the customer without hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers was staring at his face so he turned and shot her. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, "Well did anyone else see my face?" There were a few minutes of utter silence, in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak..........

Then one old man in the back of the crowd tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a good look at you" Ha!!!!!

Must go and get doing the world's business! Thank you to each and everyone of you for stopping by and for your wonderful support!

Susan


emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAZINMICH 3/31/2011 12:50PM

    Too funny on the robber joke!

Sounds like the schedule change has been working well for you! :) :)

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ERIKO1908 3/30/2011 11:50PM

    I love your blogs...they always put a smile on my face!! You use your words in such a fresh way & it is almost as if you are really telling me a story instead of just letting me read it. Thanks for being a friend of mine!!

Have a great Thursday!!

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S3XYDIVASMOM 3/30/2011 9:16PM

    You're learning something that I've been aware of for a while. Your day just goes better when you get up early and take care of business. I like to exercise in the mornings as well. There are less things that can disrupt that plan. Keep up the good work.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOPEFULANGE 3/30/2011 7:23PM

    emoticon You always make me laugh! Thanks!!!

Glad to hear you're finding a routine that works! I've always liked giving myself time in the morning to watch about 15 mins of tv and maybe do the dishes I was too tired to do the night before. I hope it keeps working for you!

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KAMAPERRY 3/30/2011 3:18PM

    You make me smile!! You got this!

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DRGOMTI 3/30/2011 1:11PM

    Sure hope your optimism rubs off on me. I won't be doing much eating today cz I caught the 24 hr. flu that my hubby had last weekend. Worst stomach ache ever! It hits hard n fast n leaves just as fast! seeing as I'm laying very low today, I'm gonna read my sp book n see if I can get some motivation! Right now I'm going back to bed. UGH!!
emoticonfrom a distance so you don't catch it!! : ))

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JLITT62 3/30/2011 12:49PM

    You've got a plan & you're WORKING it?

emoticon

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KANSASROSE67 3/30/2011 11:48AM

    I love your post! You're figuring out what will work for you...woo-hoo! I have been using two of your ideas...going up to bed earlier and reading and relaxing (once I get warm and cozy there's no way I'd go back downstairs for food!) and wearing clothes I'm hoping will be too big next fall.

We CAN do this!

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VICKILYN4 3/30/2011 11:44AM

    One thing Miss Susan!!! Don't say HA! when you call yourself beautiful. You ARE beautiful!!

REPEAT after me..SUSAN..YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!

Have a wonderful week!

emoticon Vicki

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LESLIES537 3/30/2011 11:17AM

    OOPS, double post! I got click happy! emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/30/2011 11:17:55 AM

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LESLIES537 3/30/2011 11:17AM

    emoticon optimism!! I love it!

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JUNEBUGG02 3/30/2011 11:05AM

  I've been using similar tactics. I've been going to bed earlier, but reading or watching TV until I'm sleepy. My bedroom is upstairs, and I do not bring food so I'm done eating for the day when I go upstairs (too lazy to go back down). If I feel more tempted than usual, I just go up earlier. Like you, I'm lucky to work close to home, and often go home for lunch. I sometimes stop by the grocery store to pick up what I need for dinner so that I have time to walk when I get home from work. Love the humorous story! I hope your job involves writing because you are good at it!

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CHANGING_LIFE 3/30/2011 9:05AM

    Yeah! Two days! I have been one day! Going to get this thing BEATEN!

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OHSOSVELTE 3/30/2011 8:53AM

    AMAZING post! Love the~"by then my "nice" clothes is going to be too big to wear!" That is the optimism that gets this job done and gets those "big" clothes donated to Goodwill!!!
emoticon

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Plain and simple!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Hi!

Okay before I begin, I have to tell you all about a blog I just read and it really struck home with me. It is by the Spark User named BIKERBABYZ and it is the blog she wrote on February 1, 2011 called " 242-THE HARSH TRUTH for every song & dance we do".

I just happened to be browsing Spark when I stumbled upon her page (we are not even friends yet!) and there it was as if it was just written for me. In this particular blog she basically lists the harsh truth for every excuse we make for our lack of progress. Some might find it blunt but I think it is inspirational.

Anyway, I returned to work yesterday and got caught up with how my co-workers were all doing with their respective "'diets". I heard every excuse in the book and then some. I know we are all supposedly doing what we can but are we really trying or are we just being mouthpieces?

If I am totally honest with myself and all of you, I know why I stopped losing weight after I reached the 20 pound mark and why I've gained back ten pounds. It could be the weather, it could be the depression, it could be the medications, but the harsh reality of it is all is that I ate more calories than I burned! There..I said it. Now, that I've owned up to it I can move on.

Yesterday I made the decision to post my food journal link on my SparkPage and asked you all to nag me. One person actually commented on it and thought I didn't get my veggies in (I did, by the way, under the roast with veggie entry).

I ate sensibly all day yesterday and last night I staved off the hunger fairy by eating strawberries and a banana. Mind you, I really wanted a piece of homemade cherry cake that I had out for company but I kept thinking about how it would look on my food journal. As it was I went over my calories by a 5 calories and my sodium by 75mg. I'm doing okay today too but I'm telling you all now, that the secret to weight loss is to keep track of what you eat and to get moving! I've got to practice both until they become second nature to me...plain and simple!

Gotta go now and head out the door for a walk before supper. I made Chef Meg's Baked Beans....they look yummy. I don't do them in a slow cooker though but rather a cast iron bean pot!

Susan

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOPEFULANGE 3/30/2011 7:09PM

    You're right - excuses excuses! I've been making them myself lately until I decided to embrace them and say that's ok. I'm back to feeling good about myself rather than being stressed out about weight loss!


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KAZINMICH 3/30/2011 5:34AM

    That's why I share my food tracker too - to keep in check and know other people can "judge" me at any time!

I also read someone's post somewhere on here that explained the difference between "trying" and "doing". If you are trying to change your habits and eat well, you are allowing yourself to fail, giving yourself an out. Oh well, I tried. If you look at it as you are "doing" there are no excuses. You are doing it, or you are not doing it. I now look at every challenge in my life like this. Either I'm going to set my mind to do it, or not, no half-way trying. :) I have a TON of excuses, err, I mean, Hurdles. LOL. But each day is my choice to do or not do.

Thanks for reminding me why I log everything and keep it public. :)

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KAYDE53 3/29/2011 9:30PM

    Yep, when it comes down to it, I guess we all know who to blame, ourselves!! Good reality check--for all of us!! emoticon

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S3XYDIVASMOM 3/29/2011 7:09PM

    I've hit a kind of plateau. No excuses. I think the reasons are pretty obvious. I'm almost always over my fat quota and way too often over my calorie goal. Tracking doesn't let us lie to ourselves. I definitely have a love-hate relationship with tracking, but it is so necessary. Good job with your veggies. I didn't really see them, but they were there. I tried to simplify my tracking by using the Quick Track. I must be dumb because I couldn't figure out what constituted "a serving."

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 3/29/2011 5:48PM

    I sure do love your fresh and honest way of looking at things! Great blog!

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BOVEY63 3/29/2011 4:33PM

    Great job on the tracking! No nagging at you today!
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KAMAPERRY 3/29/2011 4:18PM

    Let us know how the beans are!! Keep up the good work!

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JUNEBUGG02 3/29/2011 4:04PM

  You are "keeping it real." Good for you for owning it and doing something about it. I give you so much credit for eating the banana and strawberries instead of the homemade cherry cake!

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JHADZHIA 3/29/2011 3:46PM

    Way to go getting back on track! I love baked beans! I have been getting my fill lately, all kinds, been very tasty! I am so going to miss Mom's cooking!
You are doing very well to not go over by much. Keep up the great work, one step at a time, one day at a time!
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CHANGING_LIFE 3/29/2011 3:40PM

    Yes ma'am. I lost five lbs and gained ten, but I know it's my fault and I have to do something about it.

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Back to work and getting back to business...I need support!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Hi!

Happy Monday to you all. Okay, I'm back to work and all seems to be going quite well. I knew it was time to return just as I knew several weeks ago that I needed some time off. I guess I'm getting to know myself afterall.

So, after several weeks of not weighing in I took the plunge. Actually, I remembered that today was weigh-in day after I was dressed and my hair was done. Thank goodness, I stripped off my pants, top and socks because when I hopped on the scale it read 211.2! Crap! The funny part was (and you know with me there is always going to be a funny part!) I then took my hair clip out and jumped back on the scale. Talk about being desperate! Stayed the same much to my chagrin.

So here I am 6 1/2 months into this journey and I've regained half of the weight I had initially lost. I'm not going to sit here and blame the weather or my depression. I am here to fully accept that I've been eating like a pig and to take responsibility. I've eaten enough food in the past several weeks to keep a small nation from starvation. I'm ashamed of myself but I am not letting this setback be the end of my journey.

I am here today to pledge to you all that I will make an honest effort. To prove that to you all (I'm nervous as I type this) I am going to make my food journal public. See, I'm not tracking now at all (how could I dare record a huge bag of ketchup chips and a bar a day?) so this is going to be hard for me to do. I am going to be completely honest with what I record. It may or may not be the healthiest each day but I'm going to record it regardless so I can have a truthful record of what goes into my mouth!

My plea to all of you (especially my faithful friends) is to nag me to death if I don't record in my food journal. I'm so not looking forward to doing this but I know I have to do it. I cannot let my weight go up anymore!!!!

Take care and I look forward to being nagged!

Susan

P.S. For those of you who have been asking, Ketchup chips are just another flavour of chips that are available here in Canada.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WALKZWDOGZ 3/29/2011 5:32PM

    Don't like to nag. How about if we reward you for the days you DO record? emoticon

You've still lost a lot of weight! The goal won't come as fast, but you will get there!
The food tracker is a great idea to help keep you on track.
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If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down. - Mary Pickford

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DRGOMTI 3/29/2011 11:31AM

    Oh boy! I'm in the same shape as you once again. Seems everyday, I have another excuse for eating bad. Yesterday was my Daddy's 89th B-day party. I ate 3 pieces a cake. UGH! : ( So needlesstosay I'm too embarrassed to track all those empty cals so I just don't. But I'll try real hard to track EVERYTHING I put in my mouth. emoticon
emoticondr

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GOOZLEBEAR 3/28/2011 10:16PM

    Glad you were able to go back to work! We will be your "monitors" and nag, nag, nag!!! You can do this and you are definitely headed in the right directions!!!! I know logging your food can be a pain but it really works!!!!

Great blog!

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S3XYDIVASMOM 3/28/2011 9:50PM

    Lots of fruits. Good for you. Not a single vegetable. You naughty, naughty girl.

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KAMAPERRY 3/28/2011 4:59PM

    I take every little ounce off I can get!! At least you only gained half so you are still ahead in the game! I will pass on the chips as I hate catsup, lol.
Here for you and you can do it!

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KANSASROSE67 3/28/2011 2:03PM

    Think of it this way: You've still kept off half the weight you lost! It's still better than where you started! I've recently made my food tracker public too to try to keep myself accountable. Feel free to check it...if I know people are looking it might help me stay on track!

BTW, what are ketchup chips?!

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TEMPEST272002 3/28/2011 1:06PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

You continue to impress me with your courage and determination. Facing the truth is always the hardest thing, but it's also how we move forward.

When I regained 12lbs last year, it was going back to food tracking the really helped me. Not my favourite thing to do, but it's a powerful tool. I'll be checking in to see if you're tracking... but I know you will! Now you've committed to it publically, I'd be amazed if you didn't follow through.

Man, it's been ages since I had ketchup chips. Don't they have them in the US? I used to love them as a kid. I still eat chips - but kettle chips, in single serving sizes, once or twice a week.



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BOVEY63 3/28/2011 1:05PM

    First of all, I am so happy to hear that you feel well enough to go back to work.
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As far as the weight gain - you are taking the best step forward by being accountable.
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I love that you took out the hair clip and stepped back on the scale!
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BLUESKY_321 3/28/2011 12:59PM

    If you are honest on your food log it will surely keep you accountable! I know I think to myself, "Now how would this look on my log when I'm complaining that I can't loose the weight!" LOL!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 3/28/2011 12:51PM

    Sorry! I have been sick and am just now catching up on blogs! I got a sudden acute UTI over the weekend and had to go to the ER last night! I am so glad you are back at work! I hope I can keep up with what's going on with you now! emoticon

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LESLIES537 3/28/2011 9:39AM

    You got it babe! Now that I have permission to nag, watch out! LOL emoticon

I gotta ask...what are ketchup chips? I'm a ketchup fanatic and I just have to know these things! emoticon

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TXMOM0208 3/28/2011 9:03AM

    I'm also back to food logging -- I had so much more success with that method. We can do this!!!

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JLITT62 3/28/2011 8:45AM

    Sometimes the hardest things we do are the most rewarding . . . you deserve to lose the weight. We're with you!

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CHANGING_LIFE 3/28/2011 8:41AM

    They say accountability is the way to do it! Maybe I will follow suit!

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JUNEBUGG02 3/28/2011 8:25AM

  Good for you. The scale does not always seem to be our friend, but it does give us a reality check, right? One thing I am doing this time, is recording EVERYTHING, even if my calorie count is through the roof. I find that I'm much more careful the rest of the week when I see a red flag for one day. So...you can do this! One thing that I read is that the Beck book claims that the people who are successful long-term continue to log their nutrition even after achieving their goal weights. I decided that it's worth a shot. Glad you're back at work and feeling better!


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HOPEFULANGE 3/28/2011 8:20AM

    Glad to hear work is going well so far!

As for the weight gain - you took if off once, there's no reason you can't do it again!
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