Sunday, March 27, 2011
Hi and Happy Sunday to you all!
Very happy to report that my toe is not in pain at all although there is some minor odd sensation in my upper foot when I walk. Not going to let it stop me however as I know if I stop walking now I might be sealing my fate.
I might not be doing much diet wise but I know one thing that I haven't let slip is my new appreciation for walking. You see, walking doesn't require a lot of equipment nor a gym membership. It also doesn't require a lot of prep time or advanced planning. You just have to get off your bum, check the weather, dress appropriately, put on comfortable footwear and off you go. Now, there are things you can do to make your walk more enjoyable but they are just add ons.
I don't like walking in my town (too much traffic and smell of gas) so I walk in the woods. I don't have to and a kilometre is a kilometre regardless where you walk it. I also like to take my dogs and end up laughing at them so much that I don't notice how far I'm gone or how cold I am.
I also break my walks up. The magic of exercise is that it all adds up until at the end of the week you are surprised that you did "how many minutes?". The world should have no problems at all according to all of them I solve when I am walking and thinking about everything and nothing.
On another good front, I'm heading back to work tomorrow and I really am excited. I think just getting up and out of the house is a good thing for me. That, and I love my job! I only work half-time so I really have it made and I know it. The only thing is this is a rough time to be returning as the current semester will be over in several weeks so everybody tends to be a bit edgy this time of the year. Patience is lost, tempers flare, students are overwhelmed, and instructors are burned out. Oh well, that is part of the charm!
Haven't done too much this weekend although I did some more clearing out of my spare upstairs bedroom. I use it for a sewing room as well and I just dug out a quilt I started four years ago! I have it all put together and have about 1/4 of it quilted. It is for my niece Willa in Australia....it was supposed to be a gift to celebrate her birth!!!! Thank goodness I didn't do a baby pattern but one for a child! Ha. Talk about a project taking me a long time to compete! I'd like to finish it and send it to her for her birthday in May so I'm making it a priority.
Oh, I've got something funny to share about my husband and I. We have a wacky relationship and most of my friends think we are hilarious. We just think we are normal and really don't think we are the least bit funny. BUT, we do have our moments.
It started out innocently enough. I was doing an online quiz to see what colour schemes are the real me. There are a whole bunch of images, music, words, etc, that you pick and the computer generates an overall image for you. Well, I was at the part that said, get a good friend to pick the group of words that best describe you. So I sung out to my husband who happened to be washing dishes. (What was I thinking of interrupting him?). Anyway, I called out twice and he comes in the living room and says a) he was busy and b) he couldn't see the computer screen due to the glare. I explained again what I wanted him for and he said, well, let me finish up in the kitchen. The not-thinking part of me pipes up "oh for pete's sake just pick a group so I can get this over and done with" . He then grabs the laptop and says he can't because although he wanted to say select compassionate, sincere and patient, I just ruined it and "impatient, rude and half-crazed" weren't available options. Well, I just about fell out of my chair laughing because he was right!!!! It was just too funny but I guess you sort of had to be here to appreciate how awful I was behaving. Tsk-tsk!
Gotta go as the laundry pile seems to be calling my name. I wish I could train Maddy and Lou to do it but that would be really lazy, now wouldn't it?
Take care you all!
Friday, March 25, 2011
Well, in my normal rush around the house and try to do everything at once frame of mind, I not only suceeded in getting nothing done but I also think I may have broken my baby toe! Yep, I was in the middle of three jobs and I somehow managed to stub my slipper-clad toe into the door frame of my bedroom. I hit with such force that I fell down across the carpet and immediately started to well up with tears (I'm such an emotional girl). Darling hubby who is lying on our bed having a well deserved nap, only wakes up when he hears me crying. How he slept through my 210 pound frame hitting the floor is beyond me but this is the same guy who (on two seperate occassions) slept through trees falling on our house!
Anyway, while I'm there rocking myself back and forth and sort of laughing because of my stupidity all I could think of was "well, I'm not going to the hospital for an x-ray because I just had a pedicure and they will make me remove my toenail polish". At that point, my husband bursts out laughing at me because of my so-called priorities! So there we were on the bedroom floor, me half-laughing and half-crying, my husband trying to look at my foot, when Maddy and Lou race in to see what the "fuss" is all about. Then they raced to their "toy" basket and grabbed toys and shook them in my face to get me to play. So much for being good bedside manners!
So I hope it is not broken. I can't really tell but I don't think it is. Right now it is red and swollen but I can sort of move it a bit. Of course, there is not much to be done for it anyway so I will have to put up with it whatever it is. Just call me Mrs. Klutz!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Well, it sure doesn't feel like Spring around here but I guess that is such a little think to complain about when there is so much going on in the world around us. When we walked the dogs yesterday it was so windy and cold that I wore the exact same layers as I would have on the coldest day in January! We got out though and that is the main thing.
I'm at a loss of what to write about this morning which kind of strikes me funny because several of my SparkFriends don't blog because they don't know what to say. I'm just letting the brain waves travel down through my head, neck and into my arms and my fingers are busy putting my those tangled thoughts into letters and words for you all to read.
Why do I blog? Because this is how I get the most support! When I click on my comments and read what you guys write back to me it is like you are here in my living room with your pom-poms waving wildly for me. Now, that is truly a funny mental image if you stop and think about it. Ha!
I'm hoping to head back to work this coming Monday as I feel the worse of my wave of depression is behind me this time. I think the best thing I learned as the emotions crashed over my head was to just ride the wave knowing that it will pass. If I fight it too much, I end up going under but if I just relax, and let the riptide take me, well, I'll just write it off as yet another ebb and flow in my life with the black cloud. I told you all about how the anxiety was really getting to me? Well, it turned out the increase in the meds was to blame. So remember if a little is good for you, more may not be so!
Today, my plans are to walk the hounds and me! We do see a lot of people driving in their cars and letting their dogs run alongside as exercise! Can you believe that? First of all, I'd be so afraid of hitting my dogs and second of all, part of the joy of having dogs is sharing the walking time with them. That is why, I also don't wear headphones etc while walking them. I'm on high alert!
Oh, yeah, and after I do the walking and come back here, I really have to tackle some general housecleaning. Our kitchen looks like we haven't tidied it in weeks....seriously! Funny how two grown ups can be so disorganized!
One of my husband's good school friends was involved in an accident yesterday. They usually carpool together but yesterday the young fellow had to see a doctor so he drove himself. Apparently, he struck black ice and then the winds were so bad, the car was just picked up and it flipped over about 7 times ending up 60 feet off the highway buried in snow. The young fellow is fine other than a few bruises but they are all pretty shaken up. That is how easy it can happen. Life...seize it with both hands!
Well, the beasts are getting restless and keep walking back and forth to look at me and then out to the porch. Now, who has who trained?
Talk to you all later!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Now that I have you all frightened to death, let me assure you that the accident I am talking about occurred two years ago and Maddy is fine now! I am only sharing these photos because I wanted to a) show you miracles do happen, b) the marvelous work our vets did to save Maddy and c) my determination
About two years ago, Maddy chased a van on a snow covered woods road and despite the driver making all attempts to avoid contact, Maddy ended up flattened underneath the front tire. And, when I say, flattened, I do mean flattened. He was on his back when I got to him, and the tire was gone between his hind legs and had just stopped short of his neck. Basically he was spread-eagled with the weight of an industrial van on his stomach. Need I remind you he weighs 10 pounds!
As you can see, he was in very bad shape and it was basically touch and go for several weeks but he needed a lot of care for about four-five months. We took turns and slept on the living room floor with him.....here is a picture of one of John's turns.
As bad as this looks, he made a full recovery and was the very first dog in Newfoundland to be treated with the particular treatment for his back. His fur grew back except for one smallish spot but his bushy tail covers that up!
Anyway, I might be accused to trying to gross you out with the pictures but they are there for a purpose. It was a miracle that saved Maddy's life and a lot of stubbornness (on his part) and work on our part. His wounds oozed so much I washed his bedding several times a day, he had to be medicated (not for pain but to keep him from doing too much), he had to have boiled chicken prepared daily. I took a month off unpaid to stay home with him just to keep him company and we played soothing music for him.
What does this have to do with my current journey? Well, there are a lot of similarities This journey is going to take pure stubbornness and determination on my part and I need to care for my body much the same way we cared for Maddy's. I have to exercise enough to lose weight but not too much to hurt my lower back. I need to prepare homecooked meals and just maybe some soothing music could help me relax.
To help me deal with some of the blame, guilt, etc I have avoided walking on the beautiful road where this accident happened....until this morning! I decided that the time was here to go back to that spot and to take on my inner demons. I felt sad when I passed the spot where impact occurred but overall I felt I had accomplished something. Maddy didn't seem to notice where he was and Lou was just really excited to be outdoors. The road leads to a tree nursery so all along the sides are rows and rows of beautiful pines, etc.
So that was my accomplishment for today....to tackle old fears and move on in yet another direction.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Happy Spring to all my Spark Friends in the northern hemisphere! It is another beautiful day here although still a bit nippy at -2 degrees c. at lunch hour. Walked 4.5 km this morning and still needed a wool hat and hood pulled up but it was well worth it. Yesterday we had more snow but it is melting quickly so you know that spring in NL canít be that far away.
Iím feeling much better than I was and Iím proud to say this is day three of anxiety-freedom! Funny thing is, I basically went back to the original dose of my anti-depressants (Celexa and Seroquel), and cut out the Ativan and the sleeping pills. Iím a stubborn olí cuss and Iím sort of making myself keep busy to keep the anxiety at bay.
Iím also on Day three of the Beck Diet solution and so far, Iíve learned several things about myself. I eat like a two-tonne Annie, I eat because Iím afraid of being hungry, and my number one reason for being involved with Spark is so I can feel like Iíve accomplished something. The latter is actually a good thing, by the way!
As of today, Iím back to logging what I eat and Iím going to try to resume the water consumption. I am also going to focus more on meal planning so Iím not making rash, unhealthy, last-minute meal decisions. I KNOW I have to focus more on breakfast and lunch so Iíll be less likely to stuff myself late at night.
Iím going to share with you my silly little ďreminderĒ plan..laugh if you will! I went out and bought fancy sticky notes (ones in different colours and star-shapedÖthat cost an arm and a leg more than regular ones!) and have written encouraging words, little hints, reminders, etc , on them. I have them on the handle of the fridge, on the bathroom mirror, inside my wallet, etc. I also have reminders sent to myself on my cell phone to review my reasons for wanting to change my lifestyle (which is part of the Beck program). I want to put them in the car too but Iím afraid of what Johnís carpool buddies will think when they read ďDonít eat it, fat arseĒ, or ďDonít get constipatedĒ messages stuck on the dashboard!!!! HA!!!!
Oh, one other tidbit to share although you all probably know about this little trick. Despite being the complexion I am, I despise sunscreen especially on my face. It makes my face all white and shiny. I mentioned this to somebody and they gave me a great suggestion. Now, before I go out, I put a blob of sunscreen on my finger tips, tap them together several times, and then tap it on my face. It doesnít rub my face (need, I remind you Iím a redhead and have the red cheeks to prove how sensitive my face is), it doesnít look white and I feel better that Iím doing something good for me. Right now I am using Clinique Solar Smart SPF 50 face cream. Anybody got any other suggestions for facial sunscreens?
P.S. Does anybody notice my not-so-sexy "fit-over" sunglasses on my head? John says I look like an alien when I wear them over my other glasses........
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