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I'm trying!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Happy Spring to all my Spark Friends in the northern hemisphere! It is another beautiful day here although still a bit nippy at -2 degrees c. at lunch hour. Walked 4.5 km this morning and still needed a wool hat and hood pulled up but it was well worth it. Yesterday we had more snow but it is melting quickly so you know that spring in NL canít be that far away.

Iím feeling much better than I was and Iím proud to say this is day three of anxiety-freedom! Funny thing is, I basically went back to the original dose of my anti-depressants (Celexa and Seroquel), and cut out the Ativan and the sleeping pills. Iím a stubborn olí cuss and Iím sort of making myself keep busy to keep the anxiety at bay.

Iím also on Day three of the Beck Diet solution and so far, Iíve learned several things about myself. I eat like a two-tonne Annie, I eat because Iím afraid of being hungry, and my number one reason for being involved with Spark is so I can feel like Iíve accomplished something. The latter is actually a good thing, by the way!

As of today, Iím back to logging what I eat and Iím going to try to resume the water consumption. I am also going to focus more on meal planning so Iím not making rash, unhealthy, last-minute meal decisions. I KNOW I have to focus more on breakfast and lunch so Iíll be less likely to stuff myself late at night.

Iím going to share with you my silly little ďreminderĒ plan..laugh if you will! I went out and bought fancy sticky notes (ones in different colours and star-shapedÖthat cost an arm and a leg more than regular ones!) and have written encouraging words, little hints, reminders, etc , on them. I have them on the handle of the fridge, on the bathroom mirror, inside my wallet, etc. I also have reminders sent to myself on my cell phone to review my reasons for wanting to change my lifestyle (which is part of the Beck program). I want to put them in the car too but Iím afraid of what Johnís carpool buddies will think when they read ďDonít eat it, fat arseĒ, or ďDonít get constipatedĒ messages stuck on the dashboard!!!! HA!!!!

Oh, one other tidbit to share although you all probably know about this little trick. Despite being the complexion I am, I despise sunscreen especially on my face. It makes my face all white and shiny. I mentioned this to somebody and they gave me a great suggestion. Now, before I go out, I put a blob of sunscreen on my finger tips, tap them together several times, and then tap it on my face. It doesnít rub my face (need, I remind you Iím a redhead and have the red cheeks to prove how sensitive my face is), it doesnít look white and I feel better that Iím doing something good for me. Right now I am using Clinique Solar Smart SPF 50 face cream. Anybody got any other suggestions for facial sunscreens?


P.S. Does anybody notice my not-so-sexy "fit-over" sunglasses on my head? John says I look like an alien when I wear them over my other glasses........

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNEBUGG02 3/23/2011 4:06PM

  Love the photo and so glad the anxiety is under control. Good for you doing the walking. I'm fair-skinned, also, but not as sensitive as some. I have SPF 15 in my foundation (L'Oreal, I think). Don't know if you are able to wear any foundation, but I think several incorporate sunscreen. I really enjoy your blogs - you express yourself so well!

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VICKILYN4 3/22/2011 10:56AM

    Way to go with the sticky notes. Maybe I should use these. Your photo looks excellent. You're looking good lady. Keep up the good work.

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KAMAPERRY 3/22/2011 12:26AM


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LESLIES537 3/21/2011 2:31PM

    Love the sticky note idea! Just do me a favor and leave the ''fat arse'' part off! Negative self-talk does NOT belong in your vocabulary, young lady! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAZINMICH 3/21/2011 11:38AM

    Don't worry about the alien sunglasses. They protect your eyes and are comfortable, right?

I have a horrible time with sunscreen on my face too. I think I have rosacea (sp?). If I use anything on my face, I also break out in a really red rash. I've been darker skinned all my life - the last few years is the lightest I have ever been, and growing up we never used sunscreen. I started using it on myself when my Aunt & Uncle both passed (35 & 45 years of age) within 2 years of each other from Melanoma cancer. Scary!! I also break out in horrible pimples from any types of cream on my face. If you find anything that's tolerable, let me know too!!!

Oh, and one more thing - you aren't exactly "Trying" you are "DOING"!!!! And I LOVE the constipation post it, that got a good chuckle out of me - that's definitely something I'd do!!! LOLOL!!!

We had a downpour last night and thunder storms. Spring is definitely making itself known in Michigan! Happy Monday to You!

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JHADZHIA 3/20/2011 9:20PM

    Love your sunny photo, you look great!! Its a good idea that you are putting motivational messages all over to encourage yourself.. It doesn't taste as good as thin feels!
I have sensitive skin too, red head and freckles and lotions irritate it -I am also allergic to aloe vera which is in so many products. I rely on a big hat to keep the sun off my face..You do well to wear those goggles and protect your eyes from the sun. I used to have a pair, not sure what happened to them. I bought prescription sunglasses, but they don't wrap around like that -those are better.
Continue to look after yourself, you are doing fabulous!!
Enjoy your spring!!

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S3XYDIVASMOM 3/20/2011 6:34PM

    Hi! Glad to hear that Sring is in the air AND in your step.

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JEPPINER1 3/20/2011 6:14PM

    Wow. Looking good! Glad to hear things are well!

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JLITT62 3/20/2011 4:30PM

    I have post-it's with motivational sayings in several different places - so I don't think your nuts at all! I think it's great.

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TEMPEST272002 3/20/2011 4:07PM

    Hey cutie! I can't see the alien glasses... so you'll just have to post a photo of you wearing them! You know how I like to laugh!

I'm glad your mental health continues to improve. You've done a fantastic job of caring for yourself & that just goes to show how far you've come.

I think the post-it idea is a great one & could be a real conversation-starter for hubby's car pool...especially if you got creative. What about...

-If hunger is not the problem, food is not the solution.

-Little pickers wear big knickers.

-I've come to far to be controlled by a cookie.

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HOPEFULANGE 3/20/2011 3:52PM

    It's great to hear that you're feeling better, and yes spring is in the air! I'm hoping the snow in my driveway will melt rather than having to go out and shovel today...

Love the notes idea! Maybe the one in your car should be more general...like "don't worry, be happy" or something that will remind you about the journey you're on without going into details.

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    You've taken an important step...wanting to be Healthy and Fit
The 'notes' are great...Small steps and determination will lead to...Spark Success!! emoticon emoticon

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BOVEY63 3/20/2011 1:08PM

    So happy to hear that you have been anxiety free!
I love the post-it notes and other reminders idea - I'm going to use that too.
Have a wonderful Sunday!

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    I think you look smashing! (that is a good thing, btw!) emoticon

I take Celexa! I have Atavan, but I haven't taken it in two years. It's in the cupboard just so that I'll know it's there! emoticon

Love you, my Newfie friend! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Entangled in the underbrush

Friday, March 18, 2011


Iím up a wee bit earlier than usual this morning (how about 4:30 a.m.) and have just watched yet another episode of Criminal Minds. Gotta wonder sometimes if shows like that put crazy ideas into the minds of the worldís nutcases but I guess that is what North Americanís want to watch. Sorry, Iím not about to start a debate about the pros and cons of what we choose to be entertained by.

Anyway, after that, I started browsing through some of your blogs and I got to thinking about how lucky we all are to have one another. I know we all have our own friends and families but nobody really knows what this journey is all about unless theyíve walked along its pathway for a few miles. Even the days when ďhealthy livingĒ is the furthest thing from my mind, you guys keep me entertained, motivated, and in touch! I read your blogs, I cheer your accomplishments, I understand your setbacks, but most importantly, I am getting to see life through your eyes.

I think we all began this journey thinking that we were somehow different and that while this plan might work for some, it might not work for us because of reasons a, b, or c. But this is about making it work and for each one of us, that might take different amounts of effort. We are all in different parts of the world, yet I know (thanks to your wonderful blogs) the challenges of your own journeys.

I know in a perfect world, we would have personal chefs and personal trainers and we would always be motivated to do our best. But the reality is, most of us have days when a preparing a package of Kraft Dinner is the best we can do or when weíve had so many errands to run that we simply do not have the stamina to do ďrealĒ exercise. That is what I love about you guys. By writing your blogs, you are letting others know that life is not perfect and even in times of adversity, we CAN do this. Every day is not going to be our best, we are going to slip up, but we do so with the knowledge that someone, somewhere out there in ďSparkLandĒ can relate and nudge us back to the beaten path.

Iíve gone through a rough patch lately where I not only fell off the path but got so entangled in the underbrush that I couldnít find my way out. But there you were, all of you, spreading little breadcrumbs of knowledge and encouragement that Iíve brushed myself off. I might be shaky on my feet right now but Iím going to do my best knowing that all of you somehow care enough for a total stranger that you are going to let me lean on you when the times get tough!

Thank you for reading and, more importantly, thank you for being such an inspiration to me

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOPEFULANGE 3/19/2011 8:45AM

    I can relate to this blog so much right now! I go through cycles of excercising and being on spark constantly, to taking a week off and treating my body poorly and lagging behind on my sparking. That's where I am now...crawling out of this lazy rut and getting my butt back into gear.

I'm so glad to hear that you're ready to stand back up. Take it one day at a time because I know it can seem overwhelming. You know what they say...Slow and steady! emoticon

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DRGOMTI 3/18/2011 11:50PM

    Thank YOU Susan!! What an inspiring blog!! I'm gonna forward it to my sister. : )) We're both a bit off kilter lately too. but this too shall pass n we'll get back to the business of healthy living!! thank God for SP!! emoticondr

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APIRLRAIN888 3/18/2011 11:34PM

    totally agree! we also need to help each other! not all days are 100%

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JHADZHIA 3/18/2011 11:19PM

    So glad to have met you as one of my online friends. We are all sisters in Spark, sweat and tears! There is no other community like it.
You rock!
Have a fantastic weekend!

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DAWNO64 3/18/2011 4:41PM

    We all have our ups and downs; one of the great things about Spark is the support you can get from real people. Thanks for a motivational blog reminding me that we're all in this together!

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KAMAPERRY 3/18/2011 2:50PM

    OMG, I needed to read this today. You just reaffirmed my hope! Thank you!

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BOVEY63 3/18/2011 1:39PM

    Awesome blog!
So happy that you have made your way out of the underbrush and back onto the path. So many of do understand because we too have been pulled off the path for one reason or another. You are well on your way to walking steadily on the path forward.
emoticon emoticon
I keep forgetting to tell you how much I love your background. The flowers and colors always brighten my day.

Comment edited on: 3/18/2011 1:40:54 PM

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VICKILYN4 3/18/2011 10:50AM

    You're awesome. And we love you. TEMPEST272002 says..if might be shaky feet but at least you're on your feet. Take one step at a time and before you know it you will be back on solid feet and solid ground. It takes time but you can do it and I'm proud of you for getting out of the underbrush and getting back up. A lot of times I also fall but I have realized the answer to falling is ALWAYS getting back up.

Love you emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 3/18/2011 10:22AM

    I"m glad our breadcrumbs helped you find your way out of the underbrush. Shaky on your feet is still on your feet. One step in front of the other. We're here walking beside you.

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LESLIES537 3/18/2011 10:13AM

    That's right girl, lean on me all you want. I'll always be here for you! emoticon

Awesome blog, btw! You've articulated the words I've not been able to say! Very well written!

And don't forget, YOU are an inspiration to US too! emoticon for that! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/18/2011 10:14:52 AM

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    I always love reading your blogs!!! You are such a REAL person, and although you DO have struggles, you love to laugh (sometimes, even at yourself), and see the fun in every day experiences! So, just so you know, YOU are valued and treasured as a SparkFriend to many, including me! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JLITT62 3/18/2011 8:09AM

    I think you're clairvoyant! And I love reading your blogs, too.

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Please be honest....am I an emotional eater?????

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


It is a beautiful sunny day here in central Newfoundland with a glorious temperature of 5 degrees. Trust me I'm really being appreciative and not sarcastic! I debated hanging laundry on the line today but figured it was a bit too cool for it to dry properly and there is nothing worse than taking half-frozen jeans off the clothes line and fighting with them to fit into the dryer door! Anybody familiar with that?

Walked a bit further today than I have been doing and I have the red cheeks and two very dirty dogs to prove it. I was kind of worried about the state the car was getting in but figured there will always be a car and there won't always be time to share with Maddy and Lou.

I know I am really behind with my goals I set back in late August but right now I'm just putting one foot in front of the other. I started at 224 and wanted to have 30 pounds gone by Feb 1st. but in reality I'm back up to about 210. Crap! I know it is not all about the weight....but still, it can be a bit disappointing.

Of course, it would be even more disappointing if I was really trying, but I'm not. There, I said it, I've admitted it to myself and more importantly, I've admitted to all of you. I'm starting to think (duh, it is times like this that I feel like I was born with a negative IQ) that I just might be an emotional eater. I've never really understood that whole concept and thus thought it was something other people were and not me.

Of course, I'm only surmising this based on the fact that my caloric intake and my mental state are somehow connected on a level that I don't understand. If I'm really low, I don't eat all day and then after supper have been know to eat the door, hinges, handle of the fridge itself, plus all its contents and tacky magnets on the outside. I eat mindlessly.....I'm sure if my husband put some dog biscuits in front of me I'd be halfway through the box before I realized what I was eating.

Many of you are going tsk, tsk, tsk (don't lie, I can see you doing it) and if anybody told me about this, I would think the same. My advice to them would be to plan ahead. Eat something healthy, eat often, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So, I stand if front of you all and ask, am I an emotional eater? If I don't feel like eating I don't but then I think I should eat something because heaven forbid I might "magically melt" away and then eat without thinking. "Open mouth and enter all you empty calories......because I don't care" The thing is, I must care or else why would I be pouring out my soul to all of you?

Ah, to take a break, from my own ramblings...........................whew..

As I wrote about earlier, I bought the book called The Beck solution a few days ago. I am sort of scanning through it right now but I am eager to start. I'm taking that as a good sign. Another good sign is that I'm managing to get out each day to walk. Oh, and the best sign of all is that I'm still on this side of the sod! Thank goodness!

xo Susan

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JHADZHIA 3/18/2011 11:29PM

    You have awesome weather for a Newfie!
I don't think there is a single person on here who isn't an emotional eater. We didn't all get here eating all the right foods, did we :) It is the biggest Spark team on here. My bane is boredom. Baked Cheetos Crunchy here I come.
You are still under your starting weight, and that is what you have to build on..
You can do this..

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WATCH_HER_GO 3/18/2011 8:39AM

    I just made the realization that I am an emotional eater last week. I blogged about it. It was hard for me to admit, because I always fought that label. Admitting it, though, has been truly helpful. I read the book "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth right after I realized it, and it helped a lot. She says how we look at food is how we look at the world. It's something to consider. I think you'll find the Beck Diet Solution very helpful. I read it myself. There is a team on here for them, too, if you didn't already know.

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MIRWYN 3/17/2011 10:05AM

    I'm no expert but I think not eating because you're feeling low suggests some emotional eating tendencies. Not eating due to an emotion really isn't different than eating because of an emotion in my mind. Especially if you then drift into mindless eating because of it. You definitely aren't alone and obviously have some fantastic support here! It is a hard battle but with this support network and Spark resources I believe you can conquer it. DAWNO64 is right, boredom is a valid emotion that makes many of us munch away mindlessly.

You may have stumbled on your journey but you have dusted yourself off and gotten back on the path... that is what defines you! Not what you failed to do, what you have done! Many people flat out quit - you didn't! You are getting back on the horse and that means that you can do this! Hold your head high and keep going! You've got this, one pound at a time, you can do it!

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HOPEFULANGE 3/17/2011 9:08AM

    No tsk tsk'ing here. I'm certainly not as bad of an emotional eater as I know some people are, but I can certainly identify with it. I walked to the store the other day just to get chips and twizzlers! Hey, at least I didn't drive.

Glad to hear that you're out and about with Maddy and Lou lately. I'm sure they appreciate having their mommy back on walks!

Now, go get reading that Beck Solution book!

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    I don't know if you're an emotional eater, but I do know that I'm just a plain old EATER! I eat because it's THERE, dad-gum it, emotions or otherwise! So it's really hard for me to answer the question! emoticon

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DRGOMTI 3/16/2011 11:55PM

    Oh dear Susan! you make me laugh every time!! : ) I know that I'm an emotional eater n have been on the EE team since I started. It's a good team, you should check it out. Just think, you're still 14 lbs ahead n you went further today on your walk! I just couldn't get out there today, I was just so tired. I went grocery shopping, laundry, n a few other little things so I figured that was enough. n I went over my cals today. UGH! I hate that when that happens! :)) the big thing I have to work on is to make sure I eat at least 3 meals a day, so I don't get ravenous! that's when I grab for anything n can't control the mindless eating. I can't wait to hear about the Beck book! sounds interesting!! n it IS a good sign that you're excited about it!!! Let me know what it's about! emoticondr

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KAMAPERRY 3/16/2011 10:54PM

    I totally do it, you are not alone.

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VICKILYN4 3/16/2011 10:11PM

    Im an emotional eater also. It more so out of bordom now then anything else. I have pretty much conqured the other emotions. But bordom gets me every time. Usually, I don't know what I want..so I catch myself looking in the fridge or cabinet and go..why am I here? Then I get a glass of water. Sometimes it helps. Just keep your chin up. You know what to do you said it in your blog. We have faith in you that you can do this..just have faith in yourself. And like JEPPINER1 says just make short term goals like 5lbs a month and put it on your tracker instead of goal weight or total of pounds you want to lose. Take Care..we are here for you. emoticon emoticon

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APIRLRAIN888 3/16/2011 9:39PM

    you and me both!!! it's catching it bef it happens.. so hard;p

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KAZINMICH 3/16/2011 8:53PM

    I so have had to try and fold frozen jeans into the dryer! Crunkle, crunch.. lol.. Or frozen towels, those are fun too!!! ha!

I love Altagopher's comments below!!! lol light bulb.. ha! I am very guilty of emotional eating, boredom eating, celebration eating, depression eating, just eating eating eating. Like you those dog biscuits would have been history! I've been keeping healthy alternatives at fingers reach - so the emotional eating hasn't fully gone away, but when I emotionally eat, it's healthier and not sabotaging. I will continue to work on addressing my various emotions.. lol

Oh, and one more thing, you are still below your start weight, it's not the end of the world, be gentle on yourself!!!

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DAWNO64 3/16/2011 5:21PM

    Ya know, for years I denied that I was an emotional eater. After all, I'm not the type to get upset, sad, angry, etc. and tear into a bag of chips...however, I just realized BOREDOM is an emotion (duh!) and I seem to get "bored" every night...a box of girl scout cookies, bag of chips, etc. seems to alleviate that boredom. So yes..."Hi, my name is Dawn and I'm an emotional eater".

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JEPPINER1 3/16/2011 4:31PM

    Emotional eating is so natural to me. Don't look at your long term goals. Maybe make realistic short term. I know for me I can't set longterm because I get frustrated to easily so I am looking at 4 to 5 pounds a month. That is one pound a week. I think that is doable. Something like that. You are not alone girlfriend! emoticon

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KAYDE53 3/16/2011 4:12PM

    Sound like you're an emotional eater to me!! I'm one too!! But I think you already know it; you're trying to deal with it, that's half the battle!! It seems to me that most of us, especially women, have this problem, and we're all in it together here at SP!! Bless you!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 3/16/2011 3:53PM

    I can totally relate. For years I believed I was NOT an emotional eater... but this year, I realized that I used food to stuff ALL emotions - happy, sad, mad... didn't matter, I was going for comfortably numb. Now, I use exercise to help reduce my anxiety and have been able to work through/release a lot of my crap.

When you wrote about being behind schedule for losing weight, I nodded my head. I understand this feeling & when I have it, emoticon my inner cheerleader pops up and asks "Whose schedule exactly?" Helps me put it in perspective.

I think you're doing an excellent job caring for yourself at a time when that is one of the most difficult things to do. You are trying to make the healthy choices & that's all you can ask of yourself.

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JUNEBUGG02 3/16/2011 3:41PM

  Wow - what a thoughtful and thought-provoking post. I think of emotional eating as eating to soothe myself in someway. There are times that I eat when I'm with friends and we are just hanging out - just sort of a social thing, and not because I'm soothing my emotions. So, I'm not necessarily hungry, but not emotional. So...I guess I need to do some reading. Just got the Beck book at the library - I'll have to see what she says. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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JLITT62 3/16/2011 3:21PM

    IMHO, emotional eating is when you eat for reasons other than hunger. Period. End of story.

And only you know whether or not that's the case.

I don't actually agree with the other poster's dietician's advice . . . I think you could definitely be hungry more than 4 times a day & not have that be emotional hunger.

Most if us are, I think, btw, to some degree or another.

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ALTAGOPHER 3/16/2011 2:56PM

    This is the conversation I had with my dietician about emotional eating:
Dietician - "Tell me your eating schedule."
Me - "I eat breakfast around 7am, lunch around 11:30, a snack around 3pm, and supper around 6pm."
D - "Okay, any time you eat besides those times, you are emotionally eating. Any time during those meals that you eat past the point of being comfortably satisfied, you are emotionally eating."
Me - *light bulb click* "Oh!"

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Time off and wondering what to do......

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I know many of you viewed my blog title and said to yourselves, what does she mean, "time off and wondering what to do with it, I wish I had some time off"

Well, it is not the simple. When you are physically ill, you are sent home to mend and you usually have some restrictions to your lifestyle. When you live with mental illness, there are no outward symptoms, and you are sent home "to relax". Hmmmm,,. such an easy concept but how does one do it?

It seems like the things we take for granted are so fleeting. I just spend about 30 minutes sitting outdoors in the sunshine.....yes, it was -5 but at least it was sunny and I was dressed for it. I took a cup of coffee out to the patio with me and sat on the warm boards and just watched the dogs chase the birds at the feeders.

I am so sleepy which I am blaming on the increases of the new medications. It will take a week or so for it to build up in my system so right now I'm sort of doing things when I have the energy and sitting back when I don't. Last night I had an energy burst around 10:00 p.m. so I took the dogs for a thirty minute walk.

So, that is where I am right now. I'm doing what I can, when I can. Oh, about my appointment yesterday. I finally confessed to my doctor (through tears, I might add) that I dread having the Pap test done because I am afraid of the knife. He looked at me and said, have you ever seen what we use to gather the sample? I told him I thought it was a single blade knife (why else would I bleed) . Once they showed me the actual tool and told me some relaxation tips, I was a lot better. He also explained that the uterine muscles are not stretched in woman who have never had a baby or have infrequent sex. Well, that helped explain things too. Funny, how we often too afraid to express our concerns, isn't it.

Today, my focus in on breathing and taking one minute as it comes. I might stretch out for a quick nap and then take the beasts out for some more fresh air. Thanks for reading and I will try to catch up with all of you over the week!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HICKOK-HALEY 3/17/2011 1:53AM

    Oh I hate having those test too. And I have to make my appt. to get my boobs squished. Sure hope the Sun stays out, and gets warmer for you, and that the meds. can taper off after a while. Like you said, just do what you can do, and don't worry about the rest. You will get there, I know it!! emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 3/16/2011 11:25PM

    one step at a time!

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SLIMMERJESSE 3/16/2011 2:04PM

    "What you can, when you can." That is the best we can do and just keep on keeping on. Thank you for the goodie and keep your chin up. Life is tough for many of us right now, and we will get through together. Have a good day.

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TEMPEST272002 3/16/2011 1:37PM

    Doing what you can, as you can is the right thing to do. Walks with the dogs, sitting in sunshine, deep breathing, journalling... all relaxing, healing activiites - just what the doctor ordered. emoticon emoticon

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DRGOMTI 3/16/2011 12:32PM

    Whew! I can't believe it's still -5 there at yer house! It's been warming up here. My hubby is loving it, but I'm dreading the muddy spring to come. Yes, my glass is usually BONE DRY! : )) I'm so glad u got the pap thing cleared up!! I'm never afraid to ask my doc questions. If I ever get to that point, I'll get another doc that I can talk to! I hope your new meds start working soon. But just think, you're still getting out there walking!!! Give yourself a reward for that!!! I'm sure if you keep "taking the beasts for a walk" you'll be feeling better soon!! I know cz when I do my woodsie walk with winders, I feel so much better! emoticon

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KANSASROSE67 3/16/2011 11:45AM

    Thank you so much for the Bear Hug goodie! I think sitting in the sunshine is a wonderful way to spend time. Just keep doing what you can and you will grow in strength and energy every day. Best wishes!

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APIRLRAIN888 3/15/2011 9:44PM

    rest ;p that is what I would do

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S3XYDIVASMOM 3/15/2011 8:27PM

    "I'm doing what I can, when I can." I think that's all anyone can ask of you, at any time. Your time outdoors watching the dogs sounds lovely. I'm glad you got the good information about the pap smear.

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GEORGIAK25 3/15/2011 3:50PM

    These things take time to get over. Yes the medication will make you tired but it is part of the healing process. So you sat outside for awhile even if it was cold. The sunshine would have been so good for your soul.
My DH is going through the same thing at the moment and it is hard for him to do things other than "relax". He is slowly coming good and you will too.

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LESLIES537 3/15/2011 1:57PM

    That's it...one foot in front of the other, just one step at a time. You got this! emoticon

I'm glad you were able to express your concerns about the pap to your doc. Funny how our misconceptions lead to unneeded stress, isn't it. I struggle with that myself. Thanks for setting such a good example for me. I really need to talk to my doc about more than I am!

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Going to my family doctor

Monday, March 14, 2011


Well, I made up my mind this morning that I have to stop mindlessly eating so much crap. I made up a booklet of coupons to use for the month that will allow me certain "treats" and my husband will do the buying and dishing out. For example, I love salt and vinegar chips so I am allowing myself one big bag a month. If I eat them all in one sitting, I have none for the rest of the month. Same goes for chocolate and the other assorted goodies that seem to be chewed up and swallowed without any thought or even satisfaction.

I had a good breakfast at home this morning. I tried greek yogourt which I jazzed up with strawberries and bananas. I also bought a very healthy bagel and had some peanut butter with it. Made a pot of tea and drank that before heading out with the dogs for our 40 minutes of walking and fresh air. Actually, the fresh air was rather bracing as it was freezing rain.....BUT we did it!

I ordered myself a present from Chapters the other day and it arrived with this morning's mail. I bought the book and workbook, called The Beck Diet Solution which is based on cognitive therapy. I've only browsed through it but it seems to be a great fit with the Spark exercise/nutrition plans. I am very interested in anything to do with psychology (I did my BA in both that and history) so at the very least I have found something to read. I will let you guys know more about it and will give the book my honest opinion.

This afternoon I am having my annual Pap smear....UGH! I HATE it so much. Usually I have to dope myself up to make it through but today I want my doctor to see how I really am. My blood pressure will probably be elevated just at the thoughts but that is all I can do. I am asking him for thyroid testing and fasting blood sugar blood work as they are the two things my other doctor said to check for.

I have my reward picked out for doing this.......I'm worse than a child who needs a lollipop after a trip to the dentist! I am going to buy myself a nice magazine to come home and curl up with. Notice it won't be a food reward!

Really must run now and get a bath before heading out the door! Thank you all for reading!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOPEFULANGE 3/15/2011 10:10AM

    Wow I love your idea of the treat coupon book! I should use that idea!

I'm super glad to hear that you're back out walking and trying to eat well. Mmm, that bagel and peanut butter sounds so good right now!

I hope your doctor's appointment wasn't too uncomfortable! I had my last p.smear in a mobile clinic, which turned out to be a camper trailer! Ack, talk about weird!!!

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KAMAPERRY 3/14/2011 10:50PM

    Good luck and I love your positivity!

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TEMPEST272002 3/14/2011 9:28PM

    I'm very proud of you for making so many healthy choices in spite of the fact that you are struggling. Well done! I'm really interesting in hearing your review of the book. I hope the doctor's visit goes well.

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DRGOMTI 3/14/2011 9:10PM

    Hope you pass all your tests! : )) I didn't do so well with my fasting blood work a couple months ago. I thought seeing as I lost 20 lbs my cholesterol n blood sugar would be down. But no such luck. my blood sugar was down a little but my cholesterol was up even higher! UGH!! so I wait another 6 months n try again. : )) He's not gonna put me on meds yet. Have to work real hard to lose this next 10 lbs n see if that helps. Oh ya, my pap is due this spring too. emoticon
I love your plan for controlling the mindless eating. I'm sucking on butterscotch candy right now. I'm such a sweets freak. But today was much better than yesterday!! Hope we're on an upward spiral!
emoticon dr

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JUDI_CUTIE 3/14/2011 6:11PM

    I hope your doctor visit went well.

Welcome to the Beck team. I really found the Beck approach to be just what I needed!

I do seem to be stuck at my new weight (which is good news that I didn't gain it back and bad news that I didn't lose any more in a long time. But I am not giving up!)


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JLITT62 3/14/2011 4:22PM

    You reminded me I really have to make a doctor's appt - thanks for the reminder. Hope it was less stressful than you expected.

That's a very creative solution to mindless snacking - hope it helps.

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ELISELOVE1 3/14/2011 2:22PM


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BOVEY63 3/14/2011 1:46PM

    Great job on the breakfast and walk!
Best of luck at the doc's!

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JEPPINER1 3/14/2011 1:19PM

    Awesome! I hear you on the rewards. I have to get out of the habbit of rewarding myself with food. Good luck with the PAP. I don't know any woman that likes those. Yuck!

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JHADZHIA 3/14/2011 1:10PM

    You have made a great choice for a book. I have been following two people who have been blogging about the Beck chapters one by one and how they are doing with it and it seems to be a very good motivator.
I wish you luck with your exam -I dread that every year too.
Good for you for getting out when the weather is not perfect -too many people use that as an excuse.
Good idea with the treats! I love sea salt and malt vinegar chips too and its hard to eat just a few..
Keep up the great work!

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APIRLRAIN888 3/14/2011 1:01PM

    have "fun" at the docs!

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LESLIES537 3/14/2011 12:59PM

    I hope all goes well! Enjoy your magazine! emoticon

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