PCOH051610   51,196
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Much ado about nothing

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Happy Sunday!

Believe it or not, I just spent the past two hours checking out the SparkPages of my friends and tried to leave comments on all of them. Sometimes, I get ashamed at myself for not checking everybody out but it seems to only get done once a week despite my good intentions!

What amazed me is that I missed so much. So much to celebrate, so much to feel sorrow for, so many achievements and so many setbacks. But that if life, isn't it? Nobody promised us a smooth ride and some days are filled with sunshine while others are just rained out. But you what is important? It is the overall picture that counts.

I often think about that when the scale won't move or worse still, is moving in the wrong direction. If we let each little setback kick us out of the saddle, we would never ride again. There are some days when it takes all of my patience and willpower not to stay indoors and eat myself into oblivion! Just today, I ate 3 Kashi cereal bars.....the dark mocha almond flavour. Add that to the 3 I ate yesterday....do you detect a problem here? Me and my gut and lack of willpower...

But on a positive note, I did walk 2.5 km yesterday and another 5 today so I'm trying hard to look at the overall picture rather than my setbacks and advances. I bought an exercise ball yesterday so now I have to learn to use it safely. With my luck, I will go flying off of it, only to find myself half-dead and to hear Lou chasing it around the room. Oh, and Maddy would just curl up by my side and go to sleep. Between Lou's excitement and Maddy's snoring, all my cries for help would go unnoticed!

Well, there you have it a blog which I entitled "much ado about nothing".

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYDE53 2/21/2011 1:58PM

    Those Kashi bars must be good!! lol Have fun with your exercise ball and sounds like you're doing a good job of working off the bars anyway!! Love your blogs, you're always so upbeat!! emoticon

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LESLIES537 2/21/2011 1:24PM

    Have fun with your new exercise ball! And thanks for your sweet comment on my page! I missed you too! emoticon emoticon

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BARBARACT 2/21/2011 8:41AM

    Sometimes when I can't be here a lot I feel guilty for not being there to support everyone. I do try to spend some time daily on here, but sometimes I do have to skip a day.

Good luck with you ball!!!

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WILLOW-WALKING 2/21/2011 1:59AM

    We had an 8 hour power cut because of the horrendous storm that blew in from Italy on Sunday & that was enough to set me off to eat and eat all day!!!
I wonder about outside pressure points and why some event, so small on the scale of things, could create such stress in me.
Was it boredom, anxiety... Who knows but I cleared out the kitchen of everything you could possibly eat without cooking it YUCK!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/21/2011 2:00:32 AM

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JHADZHIA 2/20/2011 9:51PM

    I know what you mean about missing lots if you are away for even just one day! I do spend a lot more time on here than I should, but I hate missing things happening to my friends. Usually, some crisis happens when I am away and I am responding too late :((
Way to go getting an exercise ball! I love mine and use it in front of the computer. My sister gave me 200 movies to watch which I will take home to watch as they are recorded from the internet and don't work in my Mom's old VCR. Otherwise I only use my TV for workout videos..
Up the snacking, up the exercise, you can do it!!

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BOVEY63 2/20/2011 8:42PM

    I can relate to those times when it's difficult to find time to check on my Spark Friends - some days it's all I can do to enter food and exercise. So glad you checked in today.

Great job on the walking!
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APIRLRAIN888 2/20/2011 8:08PM

    yeah tons going on here! one day miss! you miss out on a lot! hahaha good you got your run in

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TEMPEST272002 2/20/2011 7:52PM

    Sometimes I think I spend too much time reading blogs - but since they really motivate me & keep me on track, I guess it's time well spent.

I love my emoticon. Makes doing crunches & pushups way more fun.

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S3XYDIVASMOM 2/20/2011 6:01PM

    I gained this week and I know exactly why. It had something to do with a prolonged two-fisted shove (of food) (in my face). It's nice that we get a chance to do it over.

I love my ball, even though I've never developed an exercise plan for it. I like to sit on it while watching t.v. It supposedly engages a lot of the abdominal muscles to keep you upright, but what I like is that you never, ever fall asleep during your favorite show.

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Life has a weird way of blessing us if we just re-adjust our attitudes

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Hi,

If you are regular reader of my blogs (my goodness I sound like I am famous!) you will have noticed that a few days have gone by without my tongue wagging and my fingers typing my thoughts.

First there was Valentine's day, and despite the upbeat note of my blog, it was a hard day for both my husband and I. That day has always been special for us as it marked the day our beloved Peaches was adopted and thus given a second chance at love. We always celebrated her adoption day because her love was the very epitome of the word itself! So, this marked the first year and the first of any such kind of anniversary is sort of hard. We gave ourselves permission to have a little cry and then we told and re-told all of the funny stories she was involved in over her 17 plus years.

Then the next two days, we were under a blizzard warning and trust me, this time the weatherman wasn't wrong! We were bombarded by one of the worse storms we have seen in several years. People complained and were pretty grumpy but John and I actually had a lot of fun clearing the driveway several times over. I walked the dogs each day and people shook their heads as if to say "she's nuts to be enjoying this". It helped too that we were both home as the college was closed here as was the college John is attending.

Today was my first day of work all week....I had taken Monday off as a "mental health day"...see, I wasn't making it up about feeling low about Peaches! All was going well, until it started to snow again and then the grumbling started. It is funny because I used to be one of those who HATED winter but now that I actually get out in it to exercise, I really kind of like it.

We had some sad news today at work, Cathy, my friend and student, died after a very hard struggle with cancer. She was told back in June that cancer was found in four different spots but that didn't deter her from attending school each and everyday. She even attended a literacy conference during which she was declared student of the year. She had her final appointment with the cancer specialist back in early October and was told to go home to enjoy her Thanksgiving. She lived past then, she attended school up to Christmas, she attended the Christmas potluck (she was the one who walked to the cafeteria when somebody mentioned they needed salt!!!!) but then came the new year and her body wouldn't allow her to sit for such a long time each day. She was more devastated that she couldn't attend classes than she was about dying! Last night she took her final breath and I like to think that Heaven got a new angel today. She touched my life in so many different ways! There she was a little scrap of a young lady, with a speech impediment, and who was determined to learn to read and write. God Bless you Cathy for showing the rest of us that hard work does pay off and that blessings do come in many disguises.

So, today I sort of went around with a heavy heart. I went to pick up some groceries for my mom and this woman said to me, "don't you just hate winter" and I said, "no, actually I don't mind it at all". She asked me what was there to like about winter and I told her "well, you and I we are still alive to enjoy it so consider the alternative". She thought about it and walked away but not before turning to me, smiling, and saying "thank you, you've given me something to think about"

So, with that I end my blog. Please consider the alternative when you are grumbling about life....because I bet there are thousands of people in graveyards just waiting to change places with you.

Thanks for reading!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRANSFORMWE 2/21/2011 2:16PM

    emoticon

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S3XYDIVASMOM 2/18/2011 12:42PM

    It's been a rough few days. I'm sorry for your losses, but in both cases, you can, certainly, count it a blessing that they were in your life.

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LESLIES537 2/18/2011 12:13PM

    You are so inspiring! Through the depths of your pain, you've reached out and have inspired complete strangers. I admire you so much.

I'm so sorry you lost such a dear friend. She sounds like a wonderful lady who must've been a true angel on earth. Now she is up there with Peaches enjoying the wonderous joys of heaven, restored to full health and attending the best classes ever offered. May you take comfort in this fact. God bless you, sweet friend. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MEMARE 2/18/2011 10:08AM

    Another thought provoking blog. emoticon emoticon
I think you are famous! emoticon
Condolences regarding your friend Cathy, she sounds like a special soul.
The first of everything without a loved one makes for a heavy heart. emoticon
Thanks for sharing, I think your optimism is growing. emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 2/18/2011 12:11AM

    emoticon

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JHADZHIA 2/17/2011 11:31PM

    So sorry about Cathy. She sounded like an amazing person. Your life is richer for having known her.
Deepest sympathies..
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NEWFIEGIRLHERE 2/17/2011 10:43PM

    I am so sad for you right now. The feeling of a heavy heart is a feeling that I know all to well. I am soo sorry to hear about Cathy. Take comfort in knowing that her suffering is now over, may she rest in peace.
I am also sorry that you are missing you dear little peaches. She was an beauty!!
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NITELITE72 2/17/2011 10:11PM

    Loved your blog...it definitely makes you think. So sorry about Peaches and your friend Cathy. emoticon

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KANSASROSE67 2/17/2011 9:34PM

    A great blog. I'm so sorry about your friend--what an example of courage she was!

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HOPEFULANGE 2/17/2011 8:48PM

    I'm sorry to hear about Cathy, but at least she is no longer in pain. I know you've written about her in the past and were worried about her.
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I saw all the snow on the news - glad to see you made it through safe and are enjoying it rather than letting it ruin your mood! I have the same feeling about winter, although I let my hubby to most of the shoveling!

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APIRLRAIN888 2/17/2011 8:42PM

    wow you got me all teary eye!! yes!!!! great point! consider the alternative!

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TEMPEST272002 2/17/2011 7:54PM

    I did notice you weren't writing. Sounds like a tough few days. So sorry to hear that you've lost your friend.

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PURESTILLWATER 2/17/2011 7:35PM

    this is awesome. Thanks for writing it!

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A true Valentine can't be bought

Monday, February 14, 2011

Hi,

After yesterday's rather serious and somewhat sad blog I want to thank each and everyone of you who read it. Extra kudos to you if you responded to it! Thank you! Your words of support mean more to me than most of you will ever know.

If you read yesterday's blog, you know that I've had a couple of off days. Yesterday I was very weepy for some reason and kind of moody, or at least it seemed to me that I was. So it was very suprising and very unexpected that my husband suggested we go out to supper last night instead of tonight. I wasn't feeling very festive but decided to get out of my comfy clothes and at least try to make some effort.

We had our usual supper.....I had a cheeseburger and garden salad and we shared an order of sweet potato fries which are my favourite. Then I suggested that we run to Walmart to buy each other a Valentine. Are you getting the hint that we are not really romantic about Valentine's Day? So, there we were standing next to each other and reading cards that we felt obligated to buy because Mr. Hallmark says we have to. I proposed buying one card (I'm also cheap) and we could write something on it for each other.

I'm not sure how it happened but at that point my husband got abducted by aliens and was replaced by a man who suggested we go home and make our own Valentine's Day cards. I think I was still in shock when I left the store but the alien followed me home and went around the house with me gathering card making supplies.

Now, neither one of us is really creative and I don't have many "arts and craft" supplies so we gathered scissors, coloured paper (that was left from some family project I did several years ago), tape, glue, scissors, and some pens, markers and pencils.

Alien (who surprisingly looked just like my husband) cleared off the dining room table and down we sat. He even suggested that we write down 14 things that we love about each other. We were like two grade one students with our craft projects! All we needed were smocks and those rubber-tipped glue bottles we used to use about 35 years ago.

I've got to post the pictures of the resulting cards as they are hilarious and touching all at the same time.

John's reasons for loving me were:

1. You laugh
2. You like dogs
3. You don't try to change me
4. You don't hog the sheets (anymore)
5. You're a domestic godess
6. You're kind to animals (except me)
7. You're smart
8. You can draw
9. You don't like mushrooms**** (he gets to pick them off of my plate!)
10. your feet are always cold
11. You made us get smartphones
12. You've got red hair
13. You let me drive
14. You like to use the snowblower


My reasons for loving John were:

1. Because it was your idea to make our own cards
2. I love your humour as warped as it is
3. You pretend to like my cooking
4. You don't mind being my arm candy *** (I said this a huge joke!)
5. You love Louisa and Maddy
6. For filling up my water bottle
7. For always tucking me into bed
8. I love your smile and your soft voice
9. For sharing your life with me
10. For the very best bear hugs
11. Your encouragement means a lot to me
12. For calling me Snoo-ger Roo
13. For being Peaches' true love
14. For putting up with me and for not leaving even when I begged you to do so
Bonus reason: For loving Dad as much as you did

We sat beside each other and read these to each other and had a few happy tears. It was the best Valentine`s Day ever....even if it was a day early!

I hope you are all feeling loved this special day! I know I care deeply for each and every one of you!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARBARACT 2/18/2011 7:12AM

    Seriously that is awesome! That was so sweet of him and I think that is a great VDay!

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RIMAJO 2/15/2011 6:53PM

    Ohhhh! How exciting.. Your hubby was abducted by a romantic alien!! Let me give you my address so that the next time theres an abduction, they'll come grab my hubby too! Sounds like an excellent way to spend your evening.. I really loved reading this blog & imagining the deeper bond that was shared between the two of you. What love Susan!! I hope this was a day you both will always remember. emoticon

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CALGARYNEWF 2/15/2011 6:48PM

    Awesome! Definately Cest valentines Blog ever!!! emoticon emoticon

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JHADZHIA 2/15/2011 1:01AM

    What a special Valentine's Day! Kudos to hubby for being an old fashioned romantic after all! Just LOVED reading this!!
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SLIMMERJESSE 2/14/2011 6:04PM

    Very very sweet. I also got a creatively handmade card from my friend, and he knows that I love his art and cherish things that people make themselves. Thanks for sharing yours. They are special and lovely.

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NEENSTER1 2/14/2011 5:51PM

    emoticon So, So Sweet and you and your husband are very creative and I can hear from all the reasons you shared with each other that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS IN THE AIR.

To love by freely giving is its own reward. To be possessed by love and to in turn give love away is to find the secret of abundant life.

Have a blessed Valentine's Day. emoticon for sharing your beautiful cards. A true Valentine can't be bought. emoticon

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KANSASROSE67 2/14/2011 5:01PM

    I LOVE this! Your alien husband is the best. Thanks for sharing a wonderful blog with us!

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RUNNER12COM 2/14/2011 5:00PM

    I absolutely love this blog. What a wonderful reminder of what is truly important.

SDJ

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MYOWNHERO 2/14/2011 4:49PM

    This is the most beautiful blog I have read in a long time. I'm actually a little misty-eyed here. That's real love!

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HOPEFULANGE 2/14/2011 4:47PM

    That's so much more romantic than anybody who spends oodles of money on gifts and flowers (though I can't bash flowers since my dh sent me some!). emoticon

I'm so happy you have John in your life (even if he was taken over by aliens!).

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LESLIES537 2/14/2011 4:41PM

    AWWWW, that is the sweetest thing! What planet did your alien come from and where can I get one?!! lol

Happy Valentine's Day! emoticon

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APIRLRAIN888 2/14/2011 3:51PM

    awe! that is the cutest thing I have heard and read! ALiens you crack me up

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 2/14/2011 3:49PM

    Well, this just has to be the best Valentine blog I've read about in forever! How amazingly WONDERFUL!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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What the heck is my doctor trying to do to me.....

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Hi,

Please don't read this blog if you are offended by deeply personal issues such as intimacy.

Ok, I warned you and you are still reading so I'm going to write one of the most gut-wrenching blogss I have written. Any humour used will be to cover my embarrassment as I often use humour when I really don't want to confront real issues.

I've got a sexual hangup! I don't enjoy it and it causes me me great physical pain. I also have very little libido. I also have lived with depression for most of my life and thus, have seen many professionals. Some of which have been fantastic and others...well, lets just say they haven't been the best fit for me.

Through therapy it has come to light that I may (emphasis on MAY) have been touched inappropriately when I was two or three by the son of my parent's friends. Apparently, Mom says (she only admitted this within the past six months) that I had told her that the babysitter had his hands inside my panties. That is all she says she remembers. Doesn't sound like much although I'm sure little children don't make stuff up like that so I'm thinking there is a grain of truth in it.

Anyway, my upbringing was really sheltered. Sex was not discussed at all and teenagers who got pregnant (both of my cousins) were "filthy and dirty for bringing shame to their families". Needless to say, I wasn't sexually active...in fact....I really wasn't interested in boys until I left home to go to university!

Had a serious boyfriend but never would have sex because a) I was afraid and b) I was kinda a religious nut at the time. Yes, I became "saved" and was going to devout my life to missionary work. Funny how my parents were more upset that I had turned relgious as they viewed it as brain-washing. Anyway, I think common sense found me along the way and I realized that the bunch of hypocrites I was hanging around with were probably the most un-Christian like people out there. Hence my claim that I'm not really religious but I've remained spiritual over the years although I don't call any church my own, not really.

Okay, was dumped by boyfriend because his parents didn't think I was educated enough and met John when I quit univesisty because I was so devastated by the breakup. Came home to live. Dated John for 11 years before getting married. Sex was attempted but wasn't pleasant.

Fast forward to several years into our married and sexless life. I was always replaying in my mind how sex was dirty and shameful but as a married woman I was supposed to have sex and get pregnant. Oh, and did I tell you my mom told me at every opportunity that I would make a horrible mother. So, I guess the sex thing was kinda not going to happen with those thoughts rushing through my mind.

I sought help and John went with me. Different things were suggested but it all kept getting blamed on the anti-depressants I was taking. I was told to go home and weigh how important my sexual well-being was compared to my mental well-being. Finally, I got a referral with an outstanding gynecologist and again, I spilled my story. This doctor wanted to rule out any physical cause of my discomfort so he suggested I have minor surgery where they look through your belly in various spots. He also suggested tying my tubes at the time as I was 44 and freaked out about being pregnant at that age and having to go off my medications.

Fast forward several months later. Testing came back that there was no physical reason for my discomfort other than extreme dryness in the vaginal area. So, he prescribed Premarin (an estrogen cream) which is applied internally. Some relief was found but sex was still painful. Did I mention I have the most patient husband on this planet? Next appointment I was given testrosterone but I was very reluctant to take a steroid. I tried it in mid-December until last week when I returned to the doctor for followup. He then tells me this could really cause some nasty side-effects like muscle build up, weight gain, deepening of the voice, and a hairy chin. Oh, the joys.

Oh, to get back to my appointment. I had to see an intern first before my doctor. I had to explain this whole situation to a young man, half my age, and try not to blush. THEN, my doctor came in and I had to repeat it all with not one, but two men watching me. (John was out of town unfortunately). First came the lecture on I would have to contact my mental health doctor (can't spell the p word this morning} to get weaned off the medications as according to them I had to make a choice......I couldn't be mentally balanced and sexually active! It was going to be an either or decision on my part. DUH???

Then comes the lecture about how the vagina is a muscle and like any other muscle has to be kept active before they "shrivel up". At that point, I was blushing like a rose and politely suggested that "a man came up with that solution, didn't they". The two doctors did not find my humour appropriate and I kept thinking to myself "well, how is this for not appropriate, you are telling me my vagina is going to dry up and die"

So, then the doctor pipes up and says "I have these pills in my office which were free samples. I've never tried them or prescribed them but they might help you". I took them and stuffed them in my pocket. Left without making a follow-up appointment (I don't think I'll be going back anytime soon!). Then I darted to Walmart for some frozen veggies on the way home. Walked into Walmart and set off the alarm with the packages of pills in my pocket! Oh dear! I explained and they didn't ask to see the boxes....thank goodness.....

Arrived home and decided to take a glance at what the pills were..............(warning pee now before you read the rest!)..........


The doctor's instructions were to take one tablet 30 minutes before sexual activity....hmmmm......so I put my glasses on to read everything and that is when I saw in big, black letters....for erectile dysfunction only! What the heck? I laughed so hard but then I grew a bit more serious and I thought, and this is the kind of help available to women. Tell them, basically they have to choose between their mental health and the sexual health and that their vagina's were going to shrivel up and die!!! The final blow were the ED pills! So I'm half mad, partly disgusted, a tad bit embarrassed and I feel like a complete fool.


To add a wee bit of humour....anybody know how many points you earn for exercising your vagina? Oh, and I forgot to mention, the idiot intern's question....."is your husband above average size" and I started to say "well he does have about twenty extra pounds........when brain kicked in and I realized that wasn't the size he was talking about........

I know this was a bit personal to blog about and I hope you don't think I'm gross for telling you this. I'm going to discuss my mental health with my doctor but for me it is not a question of deciding which is more important in my life. Without my medications, I would probably be dead but perhaps there are a few changes that can be made so it is not an all or nothing battle.

Thanks again for reading and for your support.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CMBELISLE 2/15/2011 12:34PM

    Based on what you said about your past and the way you were raised, I'd say you've come a long way in breaking through some of the mental aspects of your issues, especially putting it out here for us to read.

As for your doctor, maybe it's time to find a female OB/GYN. While I love my OB/GYN and "outstanding" reviews are good, there are times in life that you really need a woman's perspective.

My libido is sporadic at best, but when I'm well rested and can focus on my own pleasure as well as my hubby's, it is REALLY nice. I hope you find what you need to make it enjoyable, because it really can be. A good orgasm is a better stress reliever than any other kind of exercise.

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SAMGERBINE 2/14/2011 5:46PM

    Your humor is hilarious! I feel for you and what you're growing through and you're right...doctors are way off sometimes. I would definitely get a second opinion.

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NEENSTER1 2/14/2011 5:38PM

    emoticon emoticon

A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

Thank God for your loving and supportive husband. God bless you and your husband.

Happy Valentine's Day. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MYOWNHERO 2/14/2011 4:46PM

    This is why I love SP so much....the support for issues that can be so sensitive. Thank you for sharing your story.

I have heard of ED meds being used for women. Here is an article about it.
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-
conditions/news/20080722/viagra
-for-her

I hope it works out for you. You husband is lucky to have such a loving wife who is willing to try all of these things. He sounds like a real peach, too. Happy Valentine's day!

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LESLIES537 2/14/2011 4:34PM

    We'd never judge you silly! I totally can relate to the low libido. Non-existent is more like it! You're not alone, that's for sure!

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HOPEFULANGE 2/14/2011 7:31AM

    It sounds like you have the most wonderful husband. While I believe sex can bring a couple much closer together, I also believe if it's done grudgingly (just to satisfy the other), it can harm a relationship. I think the portrayal of sex in the media is completely bogus...not everyone wants to have sex all the time! I wish you the best of luck getting help, or coming to terms with what you have to work with. I hope you can both be happy without drugs.

Oh, and I HATE having to talk to interns at the doctor's office. They're so judgmental - you can see it in their faces. I know they have to learn, but having to repeat your story is NOT the way a patient should be treated. We shouldn't have to muster courage to walk into a doctor's office. Sorry you had that experience (as you may tell - I can relate).

Comment edited on: 2/14/2011 7:34:37 AM

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S3XYDIVASMOM 2/13/2011 8:23PM

    I have no words of wisdom for this situation, nonetheless, I'm glad to listen. My libido is low and my husband's is even lower. So, I cannot say it is really much of a problem. You might be surprised how many sexless marriages there are, so if your concern is about normality, you need to decide what is normal and desirable for you.

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BTRTHANEVA 2/13/2011 6:07PM

    This is exactly why SP is so great... Though it might have begun as a site for helping people lose weight - it has turned into a site for people helping people on many levels.

I have no libido. No desire for sex other than to satisfy my husband. My older brother, who committed suicide a few years back, abused me for years after my father committed suicide when I was 10. I was never able to address this *situation* with him before he died. I was never able to make peace with my apparent sexual dysfunction. I have no feelings towards it. I'm quite aware of why I shut myself down - it's a defense mechanism. I literally leave my body. Thankfully, my husband is an understanding soul. He hears me reliving my past through my nightmares. Through my screams that wake us up. Paul holds me close to him. His unconditional love has truly saved me.

I have always believed that sex makes up about 5% of a marriage. I know, most men probably think it's at least 50% because they have two *heads*. Thank goodness I have a man who loves me for me, with all my baggage...

I'm so glad that you're able to use humor to get you through this. For me, if I didn't laugh so much, I'd be crying...

Take good care of yourself... And thank you, so very much, for keeping it real. You're in a safe place. It makes all the difference in the world!

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GRACEZN 2/13/2011 5:04PM

  Never fear - you are certainly not alone. I think you should consider seeing a female ob-gyn doctor. Might be easier to talk with her. emoticon

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SASSYBLONDE69 2/13/2011 12:05PM

    I suffer from depression, and a low libido. I don't have your associated pain, but that it because we now just use Getting in the mood is difficult for me, once I am, I'm fine.

You are so blessed in your husband! He sounds amazing!

Those doctor's are idiots! I think you need to get a new one...

I hope you can find someone who can actually help you.

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 2/13/2011 10:17AM

    You know, i'm really glad you wrote about this! I had some issues with sex (not brave enough to lay it out), and I DID get some excellent help from a Christian psychologist or two who I really trusted. I also had the physical check, although it wasn't surgery, when I first got married. Anyway, fortunately for me, sex does not hurt, although I can take it or leave it, and mostly do it out of the deep love I have for my husband.

Don't feel alone in this. I know there must be thousands and thousands of women who can relate to most of what you said! Don't give up, either! There must be a way, as you said, to have a balance with the sexual aspect of things, and the mental peace of mind!
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APIRLRAIN888 2/13/2011 9:22AM

    you are real brave to put this out there! sorry you are in this situation. I wanted to writed about the reverse but dont have the "balls" so to speak! lol

I wonder if the docs knows he gave you ED pills? does it even work on women?

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ERIKO1908 2/13/2011 9:10AM

    If nobody talks about the tough stuff, we all sit around and suffer in silence thinking we are the only ones. Thanks for sharing! You are right that you should not have to choose between mental or sexual health!! It is not an either or situation!! HUGS to you!! Hope you get to the bottom of all of this!

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OZARKMARY 2/13/2011 9:09AM

    emoticonGod bless you and best of luck. I have had encounters recently with people in the medical field that made me feel very uncomfortable, so I totally understand you not going back to this dr and his intern. Sounds like they might have handled this a bit better by suggesting a sexuality specialist instead of floundering with your case the way they did. Sorry to hear about your troubles, but I don't have any solutions. I'm glad you blogged though and are looking for the help you need. Don't give up on yourself. With the right counseling you will feel much better about yourself and may yet be able to enjoy sexual satisfaction. emoticon emoticonmary

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BARBARACT 2/13/2011 9:07AM

    That is really tough and I hope you find what works for you and what you are most comfortable with.

Although a part of me thinks that doctor needs to be reported for giving you those pills. That is scary!

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Why I want to come back as one of my dogs

Friday, February 11, 2011

Hi,

Well, we thought yesterday was a cold one. Today it is just as sunny but even cooler at -23 C (-9 or thereabouts in F) and I am tired of people saying it is too cold to exercise. Honestly, if we used that as an excuse, we would only exercise a few perfect days of the year. So, here is what I do to walk comfortably outdoors.......ahem.......

I start with an inner layer of regular bra and underwear....just in case I'm in an accident....I don't want to show up at the hospital naked and frozen!

Then I add a layer of longjohns which are so very unattractive despite the catalog images we see. To make matters worse, mine are made by Dickie so if I'm found in a snowbank my rescuers are going to say "well, the underwear says Dickie but it looks like a female to me".

Then I pull on a thick pair of socks which go halfway up my calves and are arranged just so over the bottom edge of my longjohns.....don't want any VLJL....or visible longjohn lines showing, now do we. Then I pull a long sleeve t-shirt on which again has to have its tail tucked inside the longjohns as there is nothing worse than a cold wind hitting your lower back. Check for visible shirt lines!

By that time, I am either sweating profusely or have to pee. Somedays it is both! Add two super-excited dogs to the mix and you can see how this is quickly turns into a military operation.

In the porch, I pull on wind pants that are a mile too big but get the job done. Then I layer a fleece jacket under a winter coat. All gets zipped up and strapped on. Next comes the wool hat pulled down over my forehead....much to everyone's amusement but that is where I find the cold wind the most....just above my eyebrows! So I kiss pride goodbye and pull my hat down low.

Boots are next. They have to be warm and comfortable....mine are 15 years old and still serve me beautifully. Finally, I wear wool handknit mittens because I find them warmer than any leather mitt on the market.

By this point, the dogs are jumping all over me and I remember I have to snap on their leashes which requires me to take off my mittens. Usually I end up going out the door with one mitten on and the other in my mouth as I'm struggling to lock the front door and not be pulled down over the front steps by the sled dogs.......didn't know a Pomeranian could be so strong, did you?

Then we pile in the truck which excites them even more and they bark at every living thing and some things like garbage cans that look like humans to them. I drive, half deaf through town to the outskirts and go across a huge bridge to get where we are going. Barking is at fever pitch by this point and I've often thought of opening the truck windows and letting them accidentally jump out.....tsk....tsk....tsk.....especially since I claim to love dogs!!!!

Get where we are going, we all pile out of the truck. Truck gets locked, my nose gets wiped for the first time of many, leashes get removed and my bliss starts. Watching them and hearing nothing but the snow crunching under my feet is wonderful therapy for even the most frazzled minds. Seeing your breath freezing in the air is an added bonus! Head down, I proceed to walk and ignore the numbing cold on my cheekbones. I talk to myself sometimes (did I mention I'm nuts), point out imaginary bunny rabbits to the dogs (just to see them race off into the woods), and generally embrace all that nature has to offer.

Yesterday, I made the discovery that if I got down on the snow about eye-level with my dogs (I discovered this by trying to bend over and realizing I was too padded to actually bend comfortably) the dogs go wild. They think it is a great thing Mommy is doing when in fact I was trying to check Maddy's foot for snow and ice buildup! I took off my mitten which Lou grabbed and took off with. It ended up in more snowbanks and was tossed between the two of them and was quite snowcovered when I retrieved it....but....and you have to love wool for this....it was still dry and warm inside.

After about 40 minutes we end up back at the truck and the barking resumes....so much for tiring them out.......nothing and I mean nothing....tires the vocal cords of my two. Between Maddy's high pitched yelps and Lou's deep bark I don't need a radio...just earplugs.

Back at home, they rush in ahead of me to grab their toys. Meanwhile, I'm still in the porch, trying to peel the layers off of me without sending the snow and ice everywhere. Everything comes off.....yes....everything and dry stuff goes back on. I pee, get dressed in comfy clothes, and let the beasts out to pee in our backgarden because everybody knows they can't stop long enough on their walk/run to do that....heaven forbid!!!!

While I log on to Spark to enter what I walked, they flop down on their beds for a well-deserved rest. Then it is time for me to think about supper.......did I mention that I want to come back as one of my dogs when I die as they are lying on their beds with eyes half-closed but their sniffers are keeping them abreast of what is going on in the kitchen. They could be half dead and in the midst of a good "doggie chasing bunny" dream but if something hits the kitchen floor they have it sniffed, licked and swallowed before I even notice something fell off the counter!

Then its back to their beds where they usually stay until my husband arrives home. He asks if they've been out and they look at him and say, "yes, but we would go again" so off they go on another excursion. Meanwhile, I'm flaked on the chesterfield, trying to muster enough energy to check on supper and there they are racing through the snow....again!

Oh, the joys of owning a dog or two or three! What we don't do for them. I wouldn't have it any other way I'm sure I wouldn't be walking so much if I didn't have them!

Thanks for reading!

Susan (206 pound human) Maddy (10 pound Pomeranian) and Louisa (64 pound Golden Lab/mix)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALGARYNEWF 2/15/2011 6:56PM

    Susan,
you have the most interesting and entertaining blogs!!!Thank you for making us smile!!!! emoticon

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BOVEY63 2/13/2011 12:32AM

    Loved your blog!
emoticon

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S3XYDIVASMOM 2/12/2011 11:49AM

    I thought about writing a blog entitled, "Fashion Statement Walking," on the same topic. You said it so well that now I don't have to.

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ERIKO1908 2/12/2011 11:13AM

    I love your stories!! They are so very visual!! Thanks for sharing!

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LESLIES537 2/11/2011 9:48PM

    I thoroughly enjoyed your story! You are such a talented writer! I would totally come back as one of your dogs too! emoticon

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GAYLE-G-63 2/11/2011 8:41PM

    Pictures, we need pictures!

You write so incredibly well. I can visualize the entire excursion. Thanks so much for sharing.

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OLDERDANDRT 2/11/2011 5:22PM

    Whew!!!


emoticon

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BTRTHANEVA 2/11/2011 4:35PM

    I so relate to this! I took my girls for a 4 miler today in a sunfilled, albeit slightly windy, 20 degree day - not sure what the wind chill factor brought it down too. Just getting their leashes sends them into a frenzy! Trying to get their harness, jackets and leash on is a lesson in futility!

I have found fingerless gloves/mitten combo! A lot of contractors use them. Very hand, especially when you need to dig in your pocket for something to wipe your nose with!

Unfortunately, our sidewalks which were finally just cleared are now mini ice-skating rinks. So we took it to the road, me keeping them on a tight hold on the inside. I have a black jacket which stands out against all the snow - so when I see an oncoming car, I widen my arm swing to make sure I've got their attention.

Our new addition of one week, Gidget, is enjoying all this exercise. Now, if I could just get the housebreaking part down... (her nickname is leaky - she gets excited and voila! Instant pee. Thank goodness I have a spot-bot!!!)

WOOF!

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HOPEFULANGE 2/11/2011 2:05PM

    Wonderful blog! I laughed out loud too many times to count! I love the dogs racing around with your mitten, and I know how it feels to be bundled up and then need to pee!!! emoticon

You should write a book. The only problem would be wondering whether to put it in the humor section or the self-help!

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JLITT62 2/11/2011 1:06PM

    I have often said this! I also use gluttons, which are those gloves that have the little mitten cap that pulls over - allows me to actually use my hands!

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APIRLRAIN888 2/11/2011 12:43PM

    lol I know right! got a husky!

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HEALTHYGIRLTOO 2/11/2011 11:48AM

    This is a great blog. It makes me laugh, because I can relate. You have a gift of writing and you humor is wonderful. Thanks for sharing.


Comment edited on: 2/11/2011 11:49:10 AM

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TEMPEST272002 2/11/2011 11:21AM

    As a fellow Canadian, my going out routine is remarkable similar. Just getting ready to go out is a workout all it's own! But hey! You forgot something important. Where's your sun/wind screen for your face & lip balm? Don't forget rubber grippers for the icy path.

Aren't dogs fun in the snow? I love to watch them race around and fling the snow up with their noses. Dogs teach us so much - including how to find joy in winter.

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MEMARE 2/11/2011 9:37AM

    Another great blog! Thank you for a peek into your world...the one that contains a joyful funny woman and two vocal dogs... LOL
Thanks for brightening my morning! emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 2/11/2011 9:36AM

    You are such a NUT!!! Thank you for the blow-by-blow! I'm especially glad to know that you stopped to go PEE! emoticon emoticon

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ANNIE7205 2/11/2011 9:12AM

    Too funny - and easy to relate to!

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JHADZHIA 2/11/2011 9:08AM

    The oh so familiar michelin man build up lol. I love my Eskimo Parka, cocoons my face in a huge hood with the fur snugging it in, no arctic wind can get in there, its as warm as being inside :))) Just need a fleece shirt under it and I am warm!
Dogs do have the life, and the convenient fur coat as well.
Have a fantastic Friday!

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 2/11/2011 8:59AM

    What a wonderful blog! Thank you for sharing with us.

I agree, I would most definitely come back as one of my dogs.

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