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How to take your own body measurements - by Susan

Monday, February 07, 2011


As most of you know, I often have a very warped sense of humourand because you know that I don't have too many qualms about sharing the following which I wrote earlier today.

Taking you own body measurements:

1.Find a good measuring tape and by “good” I mean stretched out of shape so that it will be highly inaccurate. That way you can always blame the materials and not your body shape!

2.Pour yourself a good stiff drink in an unbreakable glass and use as little ice as possible. This is in case you feel like flinging the glass and the ice could be considered deadly weapons to those around you.

3.Close your blinds and lock the doors as you don’t want neighbours wondering where you are going to stick that tape measure.

4.Strip down to your prettiest undies and bra. Socks are optional but only if you can stand to look at yourself wearing nothing but underwear and socks…..sort of reminds one of trying on a swimsuit wearing kneehighs!

5.Stand in front of a full-length mirror. Repeat the words “I love myself no matter what the measuring tape says” until you start to believe it or until the alcohol makes your judgment fuzzy.

6.Start at the boobs. Wrap the measuring tape around your back and over your nips. Make sure your bra is substantial enough that you don’t paper cut yourself but not thick enough to throw your measurements totally out of whack.

7.Have another swig and refill your glass if needed….what the heck…refill it anyway!

8.Find your belly button. If this requires you to use a magnifying glass and duct tape to contain the overhang, just skip this step as it is a useless starting point!

9.Look at your torso and find the smallest part…..no, the mole just above your belly button doesn’t count as the smallest part! Actually to find you natural waist the experts tell you to tie a piece of string around your waist, bend over and wherever the string ends up is your waist. I did this and the string ended up on the floor due to my inability to tie a proper knot! Whew, never knew my waist could be THAT small!

10.Now for hips…take the liquor bottle and take a big swig. Look at yourself side on and note where your rearend sticks out the most. Wrap your tape around to the front of your body (mine got lost in the fat folds), hold your gas, and record what you see. I was lucky….I couldn’t see anything over my stomach and we all know “nothing” equals zero so I recorded zero for my hips.

This whole thing was the result of taking my measurements yesterday and laughing so hard while trying to see the measuring tape! I told you before that it doesn't take much to make me laugh at myself but for some reason I found this to be really funny. Good thing I can laugh because the scale actually went up and so did some of my measurements. I'm praying that it is muscle!!!!

Take care and have a great Monday evening!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OLDERDANDRT 2/11/2011 4:21PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon


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MEMARE 2/10/2011 10:50AM

    Thanks for the chuckle Susan! emoticon
You are a gem!

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REDWEASEL61 2/9/2011 10:37AM

    thanx Susan!!! That was laugh out loud funny...and thats always a good thing! emoticon

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VICKILYN4 2/9/2011 10:06AM

    OMG!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon This blog was emoticon!!! I laughed so hard. Thanks so much..I really needed the laugh today.

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CALGARYNEWF 2/8/2011 1:30PM

    Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard at this blog!!!Thanks so much for posting it. I think this is my favourite blog in all the ones I've read on SP!!!! emoticon

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BOVEY63 2/8/2011 12:39PM

Love it!

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RIMAJO 2/8/2011 11:46AM

    emoticonGreat blog Susan.. good way to start ones day! Thanks for the chuckles & smiles. You're the best!

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WILLOW-WALKING 2/8/2011 12:39AM

    Brilliant, that made me laugh out loud!! emoticon
A good way to start the day emoticon

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S3XYDIVASMOM 2/7/2011 9:37PM

    I liked this blog and I pressed that button. I'm hoping SparkPeople will highlight this. I'm rooting for you. I usually do wear socks when I'm measuring. Hey, it may look ridiculous, but no one is supposed to be looking, and I want to keep at least one (two?) body part warm.

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ERIKO1908 2/7/2011 9:09PM

    This was HILARIOUS!! So glad you shared!!

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APIRLRAIN888 2/7/2011 8:29PM

    LMAO!!!!! #10 is hilarious!!1

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DRGOMTI 2/7/2011 7:49PM

    emoticon emoticon Yeah, I can picture it too!! : )) You're the best Susan!!
And I'm sure it's all muscle!! Please don't get discouraged cz I need you!!! : ))
emoticon dr

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LIBBYFITZ 2/7/2011 6:06PM

    I am trying to picture you measuring yourself! emoticon

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LESLIES537 2/7/2011 5:57PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon I'm going to measure just so I have an excuse for a stiff drink! LOL

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HOPEFULANGE 2/7/2011 4:42PM

    emoticon Well, I hope that even though next time you'll have lost inches, you'll still have that much fun!

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KANSASROSE67 2/7/2011 4:11PM

    LOL! Thanks!

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BYEFATNANNY 2/7/2011 3:31PM

    Here's to measurements emoticon
Great blog, thanks I needed that!

Comment edited on: 2/7/2011 4:49:38 PM

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Thanks for sharing this!

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Full of complaints? Read this

Sunday, February 06, 2011


I've decided to blog about something today that really irks me and that is complaining. I know we all do it at times but some people seem to thrive on it. You know the ones, they wake up complaining and go to bed complaining and it is often about the most trivial stuff that they have no control over.

The funny thing about complaining is the more we do it the more negative we become and the more we look for things to complain about. It is so addictive and because of that it is a very hard habit to break.

There are times of course when we are entitled to complain but for the most part we, as humans, just complain because we can. Do you think there are any other species that complains? I don't know because I'm not a psychologist. What I do know is that when you complain or are around people who complain, it is not healthy in the long term.

Today we are getting another bit of snow. My friends on Facebook are full of complaints. I want to scream at them "this is winter, in the Northern Hemisphere, we are living on an island in the north atlantic....what do you want from Mother Nature?"These would be the same friends who grumble about global warning.

Oops, see...I'm complaining about something over which I have no control....the opinions of those around me. What did I do, but post on Facebook for them to all put on their snowpants and mittens and go outdoors to release their inner child. I think I got sworn on for posting that!

My experience with depression has taught me many things and most of them have been quite eye-opening. For example, if we can't change something we either have to a) let it tear us apart, b) embrace it or c) accept it. That is how I've started to view things.

Because it is snowing today I have the above three choices. I could let it tear me apart and the only thing that would accomplish would be to frustrate me and raise my anxiety. I'm not sure if I fully embrace it either but I did get out and walk my 2.5 km with my dogs regardless. Yes, I might have whined a little about the snow blowing in my face or the mess we all made in the front porch when we arrived home but it was fun to be out and it counted as exercise!!!

So, I've decided to accept winter. There are going to be days that I don't want to get dressed up in layers to walk the dogs. There are going to be days that I don't want to shovel for the umpteenth time. There are going to be days that you long to be outdoors dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and shorts but the reality is that is not going to happened for months!

You see, real complainers are going to complain just because they can. My late grandmother used to say about somebody in her community, "they're the type to complain about heaven too"!

Anyway, please don't complain to me if you don't like my blog....complain to somebody who can do something about it....nobody so either embrace me or accept me 'cause I'm not taking it back!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALGARYNEWF 2/8/2011 1:35PM

    Well said!!!!Complaining does nothing but increase the negativity surrounding the issue to start with!!!!

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MRE1956 2/7/2011 12:56PM

    I'd give the complainers some slack, personally (and I'd say this even if I WERE'NT one of them).....


When you think in terms of this winter's impact on an already battered economy (businesses closing), family life (CONSTANT school closings/"quality of life"-enhancing activity closings resulting in "cabin fever" and other psychological stress), and even life-and-death health-related problems NATIONWIDE - yea, I think I can see why, even though it's not controllable, people would get a bit rough around the edges, so to speak......

Just sayin'.....

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JOANOFSPARK 2/7/2011 10:50AM

    No complaints here....I loved it, and I also know that it is something that I do more of as I get older. It is also something that I need to work on......There will always be those who complain about everything, no matter how perfect whatever they are complaining about may seem, so we just have to avoid them or simply tune them out or simply just smile and just "hmmmmm" and start talking about something positive.

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LESLIES537 2/7/2011 10:42AM

    emoticon blog! No complaints here! emoticon

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PAWKETS 2/7/2011 10:13AM

    well said

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    GIRLFRIEND!!! I LOVE IT!!! So WELL written, and SO TRUE! I EMBRACE your BLOG! Like, like, LOVE your blog! Next time I feel like complaining, I'm going to make myself emoticon and tell myself NOT to be a heaven complainer!!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/6/2011 9:30:12 PM

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HOPEFULANGE 2/6/2011 8:37PM

    I admit I'm guilty of complaining. Especially on the phone with my mom - I think we feed off each other. My husband even said to me once "Can't you ever talk about something good with your mom?"

You're quite right - I should make an effort to be better about it!

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KAYDE53 2/6/2011 7:16PM

    You're so right!! We complain & complain & it doesn't change a thing, but drag everyone around us down! Give us a few months, and everyone will be complaining about the heat!! lol But, I've been trying to watch this in my own life, trying to be more positive, thanks for the reminder!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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S3XYDIVASMOM 2/6/2011 6:42PM

    I'm one who whines about the snow. And I know that it doesn't change a thing. You do have the advantage of rural snow, as opposed to my urban snow. Some people clear their sidewalks; but you can't count on it. So, I have to negotiate icy and /or trampled, bumpy snow. And then there are the dirty piles of snow at the side deposited by the snow plows. A walk across a pristine field or in the woods sounds much better than what I face. So, I will choose to exercise indoors. And I will sincerely try not to whine about it too much.

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DRGOMTI 2/6/2011 6:01PM

    I will definitely embrace you Susan!! and since I've been on sp I'm learning to NOT be so negative n complain about every little thing! Thanx for the reminder!!
emoticon dr

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JLITT62 2/6/2011 6:00PM

    Happiness is a choice. I hate winter, escaped it for 17 tears, only to be sucked back into it. I try not to complain about it much. My finger, OTOH, I must say I'm complaining a bit about to DH, but I know it could've been a lot worse, too.

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    Stay positive and it will grow!

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OLDERDANDRT 2/6/2011 5:23PM


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TEMPEST272002 2/6/2011 4:57PM

    Me? Complain? Never! Ok, hardly ever. emoticon

Actually, I'm enjoying the snow. I didn't grow up with winter & it's still a novelty for me. I tried snowshoeing for the 1st time this year. I keep thinking how grateful I am that I'm fit enough this year to be out enjoying the incredible outdoors.

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APIRLRAIN888 2/6/2011 4:23PM

    I love this post! bef sparking my FB post were kind of complaining! boring life, so oh it's sending kids to school again... blah blah again!

Since I start to blog and absolutely HATE to read negative blogs, unless they are officially my SP friend (feel obligation to chug through it)
I realize, I will never write a negative blog!

and NOW I am turned into a positive person! my comments in real life changed, my comments in FB changed!

I am saying YOU CAN DO IT amd such in real life! and I happier!!

thank you for this post! I wanted to write a blog like this, but I couldn't have said it better!!!!!!!!

thank you

Comment edited on: 2/6/2011 4:25:08 PM

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TWOTIMESS 2/6/2011 4:04PM

Spot on!

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Still the same weight but feeling okay about it

Friday, February 04, 2011

Happy Weekend one and all!

Remember how energized I was yesterday? Well, keep that memory because I'm not so energized nor motivated today! But isn't that how life really is? If everyday was a good day we would never appreciate them because we wouldn't know what a bad day is.

Now, don't get me wrong there is nothing all that bad about today except for what I just ate. Hubster and I usually meet for pizza lunch time on Fridays when he arrives back in town. I know it is kind of a silly thing and not that romantic when you stop and think about it but we do enjoy it.

Anyway, today I wasn't the least bit hungry but I said I would go with him and just have a diet Coke.....which isn't that great in itself. But then, greedy guts (another fine Newfoundland expression) smelled the freshly baked garlic fingers and ordered them for herself! Ate all but two....now, I wish I could stick my fingers down my throat! Sorry for the gross thought!

On the good side of things, however, my clothes is fitting a wee bit better than it has been although the scale is stuck on 204.4 pounds and has been for several weeks. I know eating like I did today is not helping matters but it is not something I do all the time. I'm walking everyday and easing my way through the C25K program so muscles are probably being formed..please say it is muscle gain....please!

There are four or five of us women at work who are working through the C25K program so we try to keep each other motivated. We all meet for a "break" at 10:30 during which we all encourage each other to eat two pieces of fruit. We even swap somedays.....just like kindergarten! I'm hoping that once Spring rolls around we can get together in the evenings to try outdoor runs but that is so far off it is not even on the horizon yet.

Well, I must go and get busy with the housework so I have it all done today. I'm sure that must burn some calories....maybe 1/16th of the garlic fingers I inhaled!

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DRGOMTI 2/5/2011 10:31PM

    Keep up the great work with your walking Susan!! I had a total melt down today. : ( my mom's in the hosp on the last of her 9 lives, n dad is at assisted living trying to beat her to heaven, n I came close to an anxiety attack, but went to Walmart n bought 2 doz Packer cup cakes n ate 7!! boy, talk about wanting to sticking your finger down your throat! But fortunately I'm not bulimic, n that's something to be grateful for. I've never gone over my cals this bad before. I did learn something from all this today, I'm a terrible emotional eater, n better get more active with my EE team!!
Once again, thanks for your inspiration!!
emoticon dr

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JHADZHIA 2/4/2011 11:38PM

    Inches and clothes fitting do count.. That is so great you have people at work to go through the C25K with! I do feel for you the remoteness of spring. We are being teased with that now with the 0 temps. But as soon as we are back to normal, we will be one big ice bowl, bumper cars here we come..

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LESLIES537 2/4/2011 9:57PM

    That's so cool that there's a group of you doing this C25K together. What a great support system you have going on. Don't beat yourself up for those garlic fingers...you deserved a little treat for all of your hard work!

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HOPEFULANGE 2/4/2011 7:25PM

    Congrats on having your clothes fit you better! Have you measured your inches?

Your work support group sounds like a lot of fun! That's great that you're leaning on each other. Good luck with week 3!

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JLITT62 2/4/2011 4:41PM

    Well, I had my own wee slip-up yesterday. The important thing is to not beat yourself up & just get right back to your plan. I did it -- so can you!

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TEMPEST272002 2/4/2011 4:27PM

    When I did the C25K, my weight plateaued but I lost inches... so yes, I'd says it's muscle weight. emoticon So great that you have support at work. Nothing like daily reinforcement to keep the motivation going!

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KAYDE53 2/4/2011 4:12PM

    Unfortunately, we slip sometimes, so we have to take the bad with the good! But yours really didn't sound too awful & you're doing all that good exercise!! You'll overcome this slip up in no time & be on your way!! Have a great weekend too! emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 2/4/2011 3:08PM

    Great blog!!!!! And yes, housework burns up a lot of calories! I'm sure you are building muscles with your working out! We all have good days and bad and you are right, if they were all good we wouldn't appreciate them as much.

Have a wonderful weekend!!!!


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    Have a great weekend! Hey, and just so you don't feel alone! It's the pizza and bread stuff that gets me every time, not the cookies and brownies! emoticon

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APIRLRAIN888 2/4/2011 1:53PM

    I love it!!!

WE are NOT, I repeat, NOT losing weight!


you go!!!!

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DRLMAZ 2/4/2011 1:50PM

  Hay, we have good days and not so good days, so we must learn to be excited about them all. Continue to be upbeat and you will be fine.

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SMILINGTREE 2/4/2011 1:46PM

    I wrote a really similar post to yours today, although you are far more upbeat about it than I was! You have a good attitude. It's awesome that you have a group that is working through the C25K program with you. So many people have found success with that program. Thanks for sharing your optimistic perspective!

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A happy, sun-filled day

Thursday, February 03, 2011


I'm so energized today and all I can think to "blame" it on is that I exercised before leaving for work this morning. I'm still trying to follow the C25K program and have half of week 3 done now. I've never really exercised in the early morning before today but I notice a big difference in my energy levels. While most of my co-workers were dragging all day, I felt great. Would working out do this?

It might be all in my head but by the time I arrived at work for 8:00 I had my 30 minutes on the treadmill done, I was showered, and had 4 of my 8 glasses of water gone. When I exercise at night it seems to make me very sleepy which is not a bad thing either.

I'm feeling it now though as I've just returned from almost one hour out in the great outdoors with Maddy and Lou. I guess the fresh air and sunshine really did me in. What a great feeling though.

Now, if I could only get Maddy and Lou to cook something for our supper....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOPEFULANGE 2/4/2011 7:20PM

    You're spot on! I always leave my chores until after I exercise because I know I'll have the energy and won't mind doing them afterwards!

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KANSASROSE67 2/4/2011 2:38PM

    I think you might be on to something! I love working out first thing in the morning and always feel full of energy if I do. If I wait, I often don't get as good of a workout in. Most days, if I didn't do it right away, it wouldn't happen. Glad you're feeling energized!

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TEMPEST272002 2/4/2011 11:52AM

    Wouldn't it be great if we could teach our emoticon to cook for us?

I think when you exercise 1st thing in the morning, it feels like the day starts with getting something accomplished. One success leads to another, so the day goes easier.

Having said that, I'm still sitting at the computer at noon... so I think it's time to get my own boots on and take Dog for a walk.

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DRGOMTI 2/4/2011 12:17AM

    Yea Susan!!!!!!!! Congrats on all your exercise accomplishments!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon dr

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JHADZHIA 2/3/2011 11:51PM

    always do best with morning exercise!! Way to work it!! Exercise and a good, healthy balanced breakfast will get you through the day with energy!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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S3XYDIVASMOM 2/3/2011 9:28PM

    I like doing my exercise in the morning. I suppose it does make me feel better, but I do it because I have fewer time conflicts. It's less likely to get cancelled. Sounds like you got a double workout with your afternoon jaunt.

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APIRLRAIN888 2/3/2011 9:17PM

    awesome! hey contribute your mileage to the virtual relay! link in blog!
or we are at message board, spark challenge
virtual run/walk/bike/swim SF-UK'11
just subtract you total 2011 mileage to the team total!
just help by chking your math and others

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LESLIES537 2/3/2011 5:26PM

    Exercising in the morning really does have some great benefits. Here's a link to one of my fav SP articles about this. I think you'll have to copy and paste it into your browser but you should definitely check it out!!


If that doesn't work, you can use the search tool in SP to find it. The article is titled "Learn to Love A.M. Exercise"


Comment edited on: 2/3/2011 5:27:48 PM

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BOVEY63 2/3/2011 5:13PM

    I am amazed at the changes in my energy since joining SP and doing some type of exercise in the morning. Not only do I feel more energized, I have become a morning person - and, that is a shock!

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BTRTHANEVA 2/3/2011 4:52PM

    Nothing better than starting your day off doing something great for yourself! Gets the whole day heading in the right direction!

YEAH for the emoticon too! We had lots today, but the temp never got about freezing, so not much melting going on... Still it was great to see people smiling!

Keep up the great work on your program! emoticon

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    Yay! I'm so glad you're energized! emoticonA boot burning ceremony, by the way, is what I want to do with my boot now that the doctor says I don't have to wear it any more! emoticon

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JLITT62 2/3/2011 3:40PM

    Early morning exercise definitely energizes, with apparently the exeption of shoveling snow cause that just exhausted me this morning.


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Positivity Challenge - Blog 2 "If Only I Knew"

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

For today's blog I am taking the liberty of using a direct quote from one of my all-time favourite inspirational books. The book, published by Hallmark is entitled "If Only I Knew" and is about "gentle reminders to help you treasure the people in your life". The author is Lance Wubbels and his writings have touched me from the moment I laid eyes on them.

First of all, I saw this book in a local pharmacy and started reading. I knew when the tears started to fall that I had to have this book. This was shortly after my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and my husband thought I had gone and lost it for weeping in public....albeit in a very small store in my even smaller hometown. He also thought I shouldn't dwell on Dad's ultimate demise but treasure each moment.

Well, that is when we had one of our greatest arguments. Both my husband and mother were acting like Dad was going to be around forever and felt it would be more harmful to grieve for him while he was still alive. I, on the otherhand, made it my mission to make every minute I had with Dad memorable for both of us. Remember I was the one with the emotional issues and one of the best pieces of advice I received from my psychologist was to prepare for the inevitable. I wasn't hiding from the ugly truth but rather decided to embrace each remaining day.

Here is the quote that really got me through "If only I knew this was our last walk, I would try to express my feelings to you, even though my words have always been inadequate".

I have taken this on as one of my personal mantras. I had never been one to open up about my feelings (hence the depression that wracked my soul for much of my childhood and early adulthood) and here I was suddenly baring my soul to friends and family. This has been one of the most life-changing things I have done.

I don't always have the "right" words or know the "right" time to say them but I try to make sure that the people in my life know that I love them and I tell them what they mean to me. So this is one change I made for the better and it is such a positive thing to do. Today, why don't you try to form the words to tell those around you how much they mean to you. You might stumble over the words or flush a bit but I bet it will make somebody's day and I know you will feel like a million bucks....trust me on this one!

In closing, thank you to all of you who over the past months have gotten to know me and who like me anyway! Ha!

I took a chance on baring my soul to all of you and you responsed in kind! xo Susan

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNRISE14 2/4/2011 7:54AM


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THATS_LOVELY101 2/3/2011 4:46PM

    Really great blog. Thank you for sharing the quote. It's definitely a memorable one!

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LESLIES537 2/2/2011 9:24PM

    I have been touched by your blogs, just as everyone else is saying. You are honest, entertaining, inspirational, and motivating. Truly the whole package. You are just real. You're you. That's what I love.

Awesome blog, btw. They really need an, "I Loved this" button. For real emoticon emoticon emoticon

p.s. Your therapist gave you some great advice, and you were so wise to follow it. I'm glad you were able to cherish your time you had left with him. That's what's important in life....cherishing the moments.

Comment edited on: 2/2/2011 9:28:20 PM

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CALGARYNEWF 2/2/2011 8:59PM

    I think you are doing pretty great for someone who "don't always have the right words"!!! emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 2/2/2011 8:51PM

    I look forward to reading your blogs. It's your openness and vulnerability and humour that get me. I'm glad you were able to share your feelings with your dad before he passed.

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RIMAJO 2/2/2011 7:52PM

    This is a wonderful blog Susan.. I commend you for opening up & baring your soul to those you love. That isn't always an easy thing to do, I know. Good for you that you DID!


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BOVEY63 2/2/2011 12:55PM

    My late sister-in-law (who died of cancer at age 51) taught me to treat everyday as a gift and appreciate the moment and all who are in it. I am forever grateful to her for that gift.

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JHADZHIA 2/2/2011 9:37AM

    You always should live each day like it would be your last. You never know what accident might take someone you love before you had a chance to say your goodbyes.
I have always loved Hallmark greeting cards, they have really thoughtful messages..
I am treasuring my time here with my Mom, but am aware I am putting them out in this small house and that Mom isn't sleeping well being in a room with no window to open and in a bed she is not used to..I would prefer the couch, but she wanted me to have my own space, which doesn't mean much to me.
Thanks for sharing
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Susan, you have surely learned how to express yourself in a very lovely, fun way! I love to read what you write about because it always puts things in a unique and interesting way! You often tickle the socks off of me, but I have also read things you've written that have moved me near to tears! You are a treasure of a friend, and I think it is such a blessing that you have allowed your tragic experiences mold you into who you are today! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOPEFULANGE 2/2/2011 8:46AM

    All I can say is:
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JLITT62 2/2/2011 8:17AM

    Thank you for the reminder. It's so easy to take people for granted, and I know I hate that!

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NITELITE72 2/2/2011 8:15AM

    I love this blog, Susan...and it is so true. It is so important to tell those we care about how we feel. It is not always easy to say, but it still needs to be said.

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CLUMBOY 2/2/2011 7:09AM

    very true words, and how wonderful that you understand this lesson and act upon it.
i have friends in my life that i know have made me a better person by virtue of their friendship. they serve as living examples to me of how to be genuine and positive. i bet you are that kind of friend where you live. thank you for your blog. chris

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MEMARE 2/2/2011 7:07AM

    Susan, I loved your blog today. Cherish the now. emoticon
Thanks for sharing.
You really made me think today. I will work on forming those words to those closest to me, as it seems that is where I withhold them the most.
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