Monday, November 22, 2010
I'm sure this is something you all can relate to so I thought I would write a blog about saying goodbye to some friendships. Back in the day when I was even more naive than I am now, I thought friendships were meant to last forever. But as I become older and wiser (you can all laugh at that!) I have had to let go of some friendship strings that were beginning to strangle me.
The first friendship I let lapse was the one I shared with the girl who ultimately became my maid of honour. When her and her husband had their first and only child, our relationship changed. I was excited for them but I quickly got tired of one-sided conversations. I think for a friendship to work you have to have communication so that both parties feel "needed" and "included". Over time, I became quite despondent when she took no interest in me (even when my father was diagnosed with cancer) and I slowly let that friendship slip away. She continued to call and talk about herself and in the end it became too much.
The most recent friendship that I've let slip away was with a girl my own age who treats her children like crap. I should have seen this over the past year or so but I always tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. Then she started cheating on her husband and wanted me to lie for her. Her husband only found out this past weekend and she is blaming him for everything. I talked to both of them and told them it took two to make a marriage and two to destroy it...actually it took three to destroy it but you know what I mean. I can't go on letting her drain me of all my energy. I joined Spark because I was inspired by her weight loss but she seems jealous.
I read somewhere before that friendships ebb and flow throughout our lives and sometimes you meet somebody who happens to be what you need at that point in your life. Then you both move on, blessed to have known each other.
Why is ending a friendship so hard for me then? I know I can't keep up the facade as I'm not a fake person. I sort of let friends like those above taper off but I end up feeling bad because of it.
Any suggestions? Am I demanding too much of my friendships? I have friends from all walks of life but I have coped by letting go the negative ones. Would I be a better person if I didn't let go?