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When a friendship dies

Monday, November 22, 2010


I'm sure this is something you all can relate to so I thought I would write a blog about saying goodbye to some friendships. Back in the day when I was even more naive than I am now, I thought friendships were meant to last forever. But as I become older and wiser (you can all laugh at that!) I have had to let go of some friendship strings that were beginning to strangle me.

The first friendship I let lapse was the one I shared with the girl who ultimately became my maid of honour. When her and her husband had their first and only child, our relationship changed. I was excited for them but I quickly got tired of one-sided conversations. I think for a friendship to work you have to have communication so that both parties feel "needed" and "included". Over time, I became quite despondent when she took no interest in me (even when my father was diagnosed with cancer) and I slowly let that friendship slip away. She continued to call and talk about herself and in the end it became too much.

The most recent friendship that I've let slip away was with a girl my own age who treats her children like crap. I should have seen this over the past year or so but I always tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. Then she started cheating on her husband and wanted me to lie for her. Her husband only found out this past weekend and she is blaming him for everything. I talked to both of them and told them it took two to make a marriage and two to destroy it...actually it took three to destroy it but you know what I mean. I can't go on letting her drain me of all my energy. I joined Spark because I was inspired by her weight loss but she seems jealous.

I read somewhere before that friendships ebb and flow throughout our lives and sometimes you meet somebody who happens to be what you need at that point in your life. Then you both move on, blessed to have known each other.

Why is ending a friendship so hard for me then? I know I can't keep up the facade as I'm not a fake person. I sort of let friends like those above taper off but I end up feeling bad because of it.

Any suggestions? Am I demanding too much of my friendships? I have friends from all walks of life but I have coped by letting go the negative ones. Would I be a better person if I didn't let go?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLESSED2BEME 11/23/2010 10:57PM

    There are a lot of good comments here. I've gone through seasons of friendships myself. I have one friend whom is like a sister to me that has been by my side since I was in high school 28 years ago and others who have come and gone. I agree that continuing a friendship that drains us of positive experiences is futile. However, friendships that are lost need to be mourned. People come and go from our lives all the time. Take the good and bad and learn from each experience and that will make you the best friend you can be to others. Obviously you are a caring person or it wouldn't hurt you to move on. Sending hugs! emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 11/23/2010 2:57PM

    Letting go of friendships that no longer work is a necessary part of life. I like the poster who replied with the poem about different kinds of friendships. I think that those of us who have one or two lifetime friends are truly fortunate. Most other friendships last a few months to a few years. It's alright to let them go & you don't need to feel guilt.

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 11/23/2010 2:12PM

    There are some who would say that your friends never were Your friends - you were their friend.

Life isn't fair and not all friendships are created equally.

At the ripe old age of 59, I have few friends - but the ones I have a truly friends.

As a friend I am expected to listen to the "hardships of life" but a real friend will also listen to mine.

A real friend will come help you plant onions (back-breaking labor) or figure out how to get that couch that is stuck in your hallway out of the house.

A real friend will celebrate your weight loss with you instead of telling you that you "are too skinny" when your weight goes below theirs.

A real friend will cry with you - but will laugh with you too. When you find a real friend, hang on with both hands.

Love you,

P.S. To answer your question - we are "herd" and/or "pack" animals. Humans mostly feel more comfortable in groups (yes, 2 is still a group). It is for this reason you mourn the loss of a friend. I was just glad to read that it wasn't a friend passing away.

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OLDERDANDRT 11/23/2010 1:45PM

    So sorry you feel bad about these lost relationships, but life goes on. There's really nothing I can add to what's already been said here. Try to just remember the good times you had with those folks and leave it at that. Their time in your life is a thing of the past, now. Happens to the best of us.
Be well and smile!

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MARIE625 11/23/2010 9:04AM

    I have to say, I was totally surprised by the course your blog took. I kept expecting you to say you'd given up your "friend" called food or laziness or the couch. Guess I'm feeling a little guilty about my own friendship with those things. LOL

However, I've had great friends come & go too. I had kids Much later than my friends. Before my kids came along, I let a several friendships go because all they talked about was diapers & teething. By the time I did have kids, most of my friends were divorced & living the single life. Again, several of those friendships went by the wayside because I was the one talking about diapers while they talked about bar hopping. I too had a friend who was cheating and asking me to lie. She had to go - mainly because I felt that if she'd treat her husband, who she supposedly loved that way, how would she treat me? Plus, it hit a little too close to home - my first marriage ended because my best friend & my husband were sleeping together. I just can't tolerate cheating now because I know how much pain it can cause. And then money has occasionally come between a few of my friends. When they have way more or or way less for extended periods of time it can get in the way of friendship. And more recently, I've let a few slip away because of their lack of healthy lifestyles. I just have nothing in common anymore with the friends that just sit and eat 24/7. I don't live that way anymore and I don't want to be tempted back into that lifestyle.

Anyway, I think friendships coming & going are a natural part of life. And once again, I've blogged on someone else's blog. Sorry!

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NEWFIEGIRLHERE 11/23/2010 8:31AM

    I too have had similar experiences and when I am in doubt of being to harsh or doubt myself and the decisions that I make in relation to my friendships I always read this poem. I hope it helps

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realise is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

emoticon emoticon

sometimes the decisions may not always be easy...but necessary.

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JLITT62 11/23/2010 8:17AM

    You absolutely SHOULD let go of friends that are draining you. You have to surround yourself with what you want out of life.

My biggest problem is holding a grudge . . . yes, my best friend from when I was a kid, also my maid of honor, had a somewhat similar story. It was complicated, as our parents were best friends, too. I wish I could say I didn't still harbor some anger towards her, as it's been 25 years, but I do.

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I don't know what to say, there are all sorts of friends, really close ones (I have only one of those and I usually only get to talk to her once a year) supporting friends, like here on Sparks, you are not always able to be with them but they are always there and the (as my Dad used to say) blow in friends. They are the ones that usually want something all the time and they "need" all the time but are never there for you.

Don't fret the "blow in" friends, they were never really there for you in the first place. Chalk it up to experience and boy doesn't that go on for the rest of your life, get on with it and concentrate on the friends that are there for you.

Don't cling to negative, we are on this earth for a short time, focus on the positive and let the "blow ins" buzz off.

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JHADZHIA 11/22/2010 9:11PM

    It doesn't sound like this people were really your friends at all. Not my concept of a friendship anyway. You are well to be rid of them. They were not putting any effort in their relationship with you. Do not feel guilt in letting them go. It should be a two way street..
emoticon emoticon

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S3XYDIVASMOM 11/22/2010 8:54PM

    I think it is right to mourn the end of a friendship. That doesn't mean you shouldn't end it. Recognize that you had to do it and get past the bad feelings.

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DRGOMTI 11/22/2010 8:04PM

    I think, removing the negative feelings and people is a step in the right direction.
Let it go! n move on! : )) emoticon

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APIRLRAIN888 11/22/2010 7:13PM

    I just moved, new place new town, know no one!

I am screening my friends!
I care too much
so unless they are worth my time (2 kids now) why bother!

I had my share of your above issues! and I let my friends stress drive me to emotional eating!

right now I only have 2 friends. one is extremely healthy (my gym buddy) has same parenting idea, and have kids same age.

another is the friend I inspired to run, she is also from where I come from. so we have that, but has good head on shoulders and great with family and kids. same parenting ideas!

I have to say, I never been happier!

I still keep in touch with all my friends via FB.
I have significantly reduce the DRAMA in my life

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BELLALUCIA 11/22/2010 7:09PM

    No, getting rid of toxicity in your life is good! You did the right thing my dear friend! I have toxic parents and while I've tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, I've had enough of their lying, evil ways!

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A cute quiz that I think you will all enjoy!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Hi! One of my dear Spark friends posted this quiz so I've reposted it with my answers in brackets. Maybe you will learn a thing or two about me!

1. Who used to be your superhero when you were a child?
(Mr. Dressup and Finnigan....couldn't stand Finnigan's sidekick Casey!)

2. Most hated chore on the chore list?

3. If you were to start your own restaurant, what would it be called?
(The Sweating Ass Cafe...this has been a joke between my husband and I for years...we would put a donkey on our sign to make it more appropriate!)

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
(Yes, Peaches' blanket that is now hogged by Maddy)

5. If you had to only eat three things for the rest of your life, day in and day out, what would they be?
(Popcorn, peanut butter and apples).

6. What are you listening to right now?
(The sound of Maddy snoring and Louisa whining because "Daddy" is outdoors and didn't take her!)

7. What's the last sporting event you watched?
(Something from the 2100 Olympics!)

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
(Yesterday I drove about 1 hour to finish up my Christmas shopping with my Mom)

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
(No, our local theatre is closed more than it is open so I haven't seen a movie in a theatre in about 5 years!)

10. What was the last thing you had to drink?

11. Last food that you ate?
(A raisin tea biscuit from Tim Hortons)

12. If you were a time traveler and could only go back in time or forward in time, which would you choose?
(Back! I think I would go back to the 1920's so I could see my 97 year old grandmother as a little girl)

13. . If you could tell your best friend one thing that you can't stand about him/her what would it be?

(That she is a lying cheat.....don't go there! She was finally caught by her husband and it was just today that I had a chance to talk to him and to reassure him that he can't take all the blame....aren't you sorry you asked this question!)

14. If you were to be famous what would you like to be known for?
(For establishing a retirement home for aged, homeless dogs)

15. What does your last text message say?
(Probably asking my cousin if she wanted a coffee at delivered to her at work)

16. How early do you start holiday shopping?
(I shop all year round because I find I can always find things for people on my list when I'm not really looking!

17. If you wrote a movie, what would the title be?
(A children's movie called "Hamilton's Home for Homeless Huskies")

18. When did you first realize you needed to change your lifestyle food-wise?
(When my brother was home this summer and I didn't have the stamina to keep up)

19. What color ink do you prefer to write with?

20. What was your favorite toy as a child?
(I was given a pink stuffed rabbit by my grandmother. I carried it everywhere and Mom had to patch it up so many times. When my father died 4 years ago, all that was left of "Rabbie" was a three-inch scrap of pink fluff. I took Rabbie out of the tissue paper and wrapped two milkbones into the fluff before tucking the works into Dad's shirt pocket. Rabbie, the milkbones and Dad were cremated on July 7th, 2006)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VIXEN2188 11/22/2010 2:19PM

    There is a coffee shop here in utah called bad ass coffee house and they have a big donkey on top of their building!

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NEWFIEGIRLHERE 11/22/2010 11:41AM

    I LOVE reading your blogs!!!! emoticon

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LESLIES537 11/22/2010 11:32AM

    I would totally choose peanut butter too! emoticon

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BLESSED2BEME 11/21/2010 8:07PM

    Very interesting...makes me miss Tim Hortons though:(

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IBECCA 11/21/2010 6:44PM

    haha peanut butter for sure!

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JHADZHIA 11/21/2010 5:06PM

    Interesting most certainly!
I used to love popcorn and have it every single day, but had to get away from it because I only like it heavily buttered ;)
Your love of fur babies shines through in this list :)
That was a bittersweet send off of your favorite toy.

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S3XYDIVASMOM 11/21/2010 3:05PM

    Sometime you need to write a blog about the Sweating Ass restaurant. You've piqued my curiosity.

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I'm Thankful for SparkPeople!

Saturday, November 20, 2010


This blog is going to be short and sweet because Mom and I were out of town today finishing up all of our Christmas shopping! Done! Now it is all piled up in our spare bedroom and it looks like Santa's sleigh crashed in there.

As I was driving home tonight (in the dark!) I was keeping a watchful eye out for moose but my mind kept wandering to how my life has changed since I was told about the Spark program.

I refer to the program and all of my friends as My Big Brother! I just love reading all of your blogs and your comments on my blogs! It makes me feel a part of something great...which is true because everybody's life makeover is something great. We are all in this together. I really appreciate each and everyone of you. Even if I ever felt like the lifestyle makeover was becoming too much I wouldn't be able to leave Spark because of all of you! It is like finishing a fantastic novel and you wonder what the characters did afterwards.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks to all of my great new friends. You definitely keep me sparked! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEMARE 11/24/2010 10:28AM

    emoticonand your blogs! emoticon

I may not comment on a lot of them but I do read them! emoticon


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NEWFIEGIRLHERE 11/22/2010 11:43AM

    ...and thank you very much as well. It is so nice to know that you can come on here, blog about your happiness or sorrows and you will get support...genuine support either way.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DRGOMTI 11/21/2010 3:31PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really needed this positive reinforcement today!!! And to be reminded how much SP has done for me!! I was in a bad downward spiral for a couple weeks, but today I feel like I'm Sparking out of it!! Thanks to all you positive bloggers!! I love what you said, PCOHO, that "we are all in this tog"!! n am jealous that you have to keep your eye out for MOOSE when you drive!!! My sisters and I have been going on sister trips every yr. on moose quests, just want to see one, n I guess we'll have to come up to Canada!!! I loved what JHADZHIA, said, "The action is happening here!" SP has taken the place of my face booking too. So much more rewarding too!!! I'm thinking about printing out this page so when those dang sweets cravings hit, I can read this again n again!! emoticon dr

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TEMPEST272002 11/21/2010 12:59PM

    I know exactly what you mean. Even when I have so many other things calling for my attention, sparkpeople keeps me coming back. I want to know what you are doing and how you're doing and learn and connect and feel support and give support. Totally addictive - in a great way!

So glad we're on this journey together. I hope one day that we can meet in person. I have a dream of visiting all the provinces in Canada. I've made it from BC to Quebec. Maybe this summer, I'll journey out to the Rock and get to meet you in person.

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JLITT62 11/21/2010 8:22AM

    Love the novel analogy!

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HOPEFULANGE 11/21/2010 6:57AM

    I know! It's wonderful!! It's definitely the community at Spark that's helped me stay on track the most. Glad you feel the same!

Spark On!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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I'm with you, I love Sparks, it has helped me through some trying times. I love all my friends here they are worth their weight (high or low) in gold.

emoticon emoticon

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JHADZHIA 11/20/2010 11:34PM

    Thanks very much to you too :) This is the only internet site I hang out at. My Facebook is gathering mothballs, have no interest in it what so ever. The action is happening here!! Is inspiring over and over again to read how people overcome their trials..
emoticon emoticon

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S3XYDIVASMOM 11/20/2010 7:56PM

    And thanks to you, as well. emoticon

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APIRLRAIN888 11/20/2010 7:41PM

    emoticon and emoticon too ;p

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DOLE10 11/20/2010 7:33PM


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In your dreams sweetheart!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Okay, I'm letting you all know that I've officially lost my mind. My Spark times are usually early in the mornings and early evenings but last night I was out with my mom so I missed checking in.

Anyway, I logged in this morning to see if anybody replied to my blog about the outfit I was hoping to wear to the college's staff Christmas party. Guess what, I must have dreamed I posted it! It was going to be a toss up between a top I already own or a new one I bought yesterday on sale. And, yes, I'm going to wear bottoms but that decision is already made....black pants.

What I find the funniest about this is how much all of you are becoming an integral part of my life! You have all helped me through this lifestyle change by your encouragement and support. Now I'm dreaming about you guys!

So here is the deal...I have a grey longish blouse with sparklies on the shoulders that apparently I bought in a moment of pure insanity as I feel too young in it. It finally fits across the tummy area and my mom says it slims me down. Or, I found a dark purple satin tank top over which I was going to wear a little mini sweater (the ones that fit over your shoulders). It was on sale and I figure I can wear it again.

By now, I bet you are all rolling your eyes. The issue is that I still "see" myself as bigger and as the person who hid behind bagging clothes. The grey top exposes me in many ways as I feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not quite comfortable with. I don't mean it exposes flesh...my arms are bare and that is about it.

Has anybody else encountered this? There clothes become too big (yeah) but they don't want to get out of their comfortable rut? Both colors and styles are new to me as I usually wear earth tones. How do you learn to accept and embrace the new you instead of clinging on to the safer old you? Then I worry that people will think I'm putting on airs if I dress different than I usually do. Maybe deep down I am afraid that the old me will be victorious and that somehow I will go back to that mindset and accompanying body issues.

Once again, thanks for reading! You guys are truly a special bunch to me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REMEMBER2BME 11/22/2010 5:20PM

    Agreed, pic would be great. However.... I say Go Gray with Sparklies because why not. It is the holidays the perfect opportunity to dress up and different. If you end up thinking you wish you hadn't worn it then no biggie you will at least then know.

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JHADZHIA 11/20/2010 11:58PM

    I love the color purple myself, but the more fitted blouse with sparkles sounds pretty.. I still prefer my blacks and baggy. Probably won't get away from it, not because of how it looks, but because its comfortable which is more important for me then anything. I have fitted clothes, but with my painful elbow and hand, its a struggle to get myself into them. So much easier having baggy slip on clothing, no buttons, zippers, etc. needed.. I do like the compliments with the dressy clothing though :))
I hope you can post some photos!!

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S3XYDIVASMOM 11/19/2010 9:39PM

    Off hand, I'd say the gray because of the sparkles. Hey, it's Christmas and the goal is to be festive. But post the pictures. emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 11/19/2010 6:30PM

    oh yes, I think I know exactly what you're talking about. I find it hard to accept that I fit into a size 12 instead of a 22. I spent so long using clothes to hide in that I have no idea of what styles I might like to wear... even what colours I like. I agree with newfiegirlhere - why not post some pics & we'll give you feedback?

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HOPEFULANGE 11/19/2010 2:15PM

    Go Gray with Sparklies!!! Because guess what? That comfort zone is left over from the OLD YOU. Now you get to create a brand new comfort zone! I know most of us are used to hiding and hoping not to get noticed, but you deserve to have all your hard work rewarded. And with a more slimming top, I bet you'll get loads of compliments!

Well, that's my two-cents. Good Luck deciding!

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PRETTYLILHEFFER 11/19/2010 11:25AM

    I still do that! I think bigger is still better sort of thing.. but if your outfit, i vote purple! I love purple satin, brings some serious spice.

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OLDERDANDRT 11/19/2010 10:27AM

    Awwww....so sweet you dream about us!! emoticon My take on the top....your mom says the gray one slims you, so if it were me, I'd go with that one and wear a big smile with it!! HOpe this helps!


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JLITT62 11/19/2010 8:37AM

    I've always loved clothes, but when I was heavier, yes, I hid behind a lot of black. Black has its place, but too much is not a good thing!

I think there are 2 schools of thought here. One says you should be comfortable with what you wear (or you'll feel uncomfortable, obviously). Another says to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

I tend to push myself, in more ways than one!

It's really natural for your view of yourself to be stuck in the old you days.

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JUDYFRANCE 11/19/2010 8:30AM

    I found that it is most important for me to feel comfortable with what I am wearing. But, as time has gone on, I've also found that what I feel comfortable wearing has changed. The better I feel about myself, the more fitted my clothes become. Choose what you feel good in today - what you think makes you look your best. But, save that blouse that your mom thinks looks great on you! Soon will may think the same.

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NEWFIEGIRLHERE 11/19/2010 7:52AM

    I have a great idea. why don't you post some pics and we can all vote. emoticon
I know I have gone through that. I done have a style and I wonder what is appropriate. It is a work in progress but I will tell you the new you in newer and different looking clothes will make you feel VICTORIOUS emoticon

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APIRLRAIN888 11/19/2010 7:42AM

    love it! yes I still see myself as the big girl! i only have mirrors in the bathroom ;p so I totally agree!

I also blogged about it, BRAIN still thinks I am the fat girl! ;p

Yeah this month is working on making BRAIN stop thinking that

Comment edited on: 11/19/2010 7:50:05 AM

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I'm making a list and checking it twice

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Good Morning!

In my attempt to get myself organized for the upcoming holiday season, I am making my list of what I have planned, what I need to do etc. I know this sounds like a regular daybook but what is new is that I'm finally getting the knack of scheduling some "me" time.

I printed off a blank calendar and have commitments written in but I'm also writing in when I plan to exercise. I figure if I schedule it in it has less chance of being forgotten.

I always get very overwhelmed by Christmas preparation but this year I am trying very hard to get prepared. I've booked my volunteer time (I volunteer to sit with the Salvation Army Kettle) for the first week in December and will get 6 hours of volunteering in then. I usually do it the last few days before Christmas but this year I'm doing myself a favour.

Maddy, Lou and I walked 3.5 km yesterday and during our walk I planned part of my Christmas list. Then when I brought the two little monkeys home, I ran out and did part of my list. This year we are trying hard not to focus on material goods so it will be interesting using our imaginations rather than our wallets. I thought I would ask my husband's father for his Christmas cake recipe as it is my husbands all time favourite. Then I would attempt to make it myself as a surprise.

Anyway, wishing you all a wonderful day! I've got to go and get ready for work!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

S3XYDIVASMOM 11/18/2010 8:09PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Good luck with your plans. They sound well thought out.

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OLDERDANDRT 11/18/2010 6:11PM

    Great idea!!! emoticon

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    That is emoticon

doing stuff for yourself AND for others
and you even did stuff for US by writing this blog
so we can learn your good ways!

Keep up your good deeds!

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JLITT62 11/18/2010 12:28PM

    Sounds like you have a great plan! And we're all here to make sure you stick to it (as much as possible, of course).

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JHADZHIA 11/18/2010 12:00PM

    Well done! This is what Spark recommends, making appointments for yourself. If you know exactly what your plans are coming up, then filling in your planner will work for you! All the best with it!! You will show us all how its done right!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NEWFIEGIRLHERE 11/18/2010 10:34AM







good luck to you on keeping focused and on track this holiday season.


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PRETTYLILHEFFER 11/18/2010 10:32AM

    woo salvation army! I am a bell ringer for them! Check that list and enjoy your me time!

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RIMAJO 11/18/2010 9:52AM

    I love the idea of scheduling "You" time for exercise, especially as the holiday season nears.. it practically guarantees you'll stay on track! Great thinking Susan!

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MEMARE 11/18/2010 9:39AM

    Sounds like you've definitely got a plan! emoticon

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SHERRYTOO 11/18/2010 8:22AM


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KTACKEBE 11/18/2010 7:25AM

    Sure wish I could get organized!

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BAYSIDE07 11/18/2010 7:04AM


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APIRLRAIN888 11/18/2010 6:59AM

    great plan! keep checking 'em off!

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TBONE13 11/18/2010 6:57AM

  good plan, good luck !!

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LUVDOGZ 11/18/2010 6:25AM

    THat sounds like a great plan! emoticon

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