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Will I ever lose the weight?

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I have never done this before, so I'm just going to ramble on like I do in my journal. I am sick of being overweight. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough to be seen at my son's school, being judged because of my weight (like it makes me less of a person somehow). I want to be able to play with my boys without being winded. I'm not going to even go there about thigh rub, although it's not so bad at this point because they've gotten so big, they don't move anymore in order to rub. I hate the way my body looks, and that's exactly why I'm here. I'm tired of putting myself last in line. I am here for myself. My father has health issues due to diabetes, and most recently had his right foot amputated. Sounds selfish, I know, but I'm scared for myself. I am mostly my father, and after having gestational diabetes twice, I have a greater chance of developing it in the future. I'm worried I won't be here for my boys in the distant future, at least in a good capacity. I don't want to become a burden to them, like my father has become. That sounds horrible, I know, but my mother doesn't have much of a life anymore, and I hate it for her. She's constantly stressed and running him to doctors appointments, and with her heart (and lack of health insurance), she needs to do something for herself. She needs SparkPeople, too, because of her weight, but she has very little time to exercise because of Dad. I try to help out when I can, but with an infant, it's not easy. I can't carry him and push a wheelchair at the same time. Enough for now. I'm done ranting. Got to get the motivation to get on my elliptical, especially since the baby is asleep! :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMMAX64 4/21/2010 5:46PM

    Hey Patti, go back and read this blog and think about 11 lbs in less than 2 monthes! Go girl!!

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POLICYDOC 2/25/2010 11:18PM

  By laying it out there, you've taken one major step towards making the changes you desire. Congratulations! It's easier said than done but if you can change one tiny thing each day or even week, you'll feel upbeat and even more compelled to reach your goals. I agree 110% with healthygirl2010 - believe in yourself. Your kids certainly will. :-)

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PAMMAX64 2/25/2010 9:54PM

    YES YOU CAN! And there is no better place to do it. I admire you for getting on here and working on changing You into someone that YOU love and are not angry with. GO GIRL!

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TAMMYSLITELIFE 2/25/2010 9:34PM

  You're in the right place and have all the right reasons, The good part is your fed up and tired and when we get fed up and tired we do something about it. Well Congratulations for taking the first step and Good Luck on your Journey!!! emoticon

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MAMAKNITSSOCKS 2/25/2010 9:29PM

    Hey, there! I've had GDM, too, and that was NO fun, especially because I have this HUGE aversion to needles...seriously! One thing I noticed in your blog was that you didn't have anything nice to say about yourself. You have to be on this journey for YOU first. So, you must really believe that you are worth it!!! Find that inner diva warrior, embrace the beauty that you are, curves and all and then send that warrior into a battle for your life, because you are worth it!!! You are strong and beautiful and deserving. You have it in you to succeed!!!

So, go for it!

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HEALTHYGIRL2010 2/25/2010 9:13PM

  You can do it! Whatever you put your mind to doing, you know you can accomplish! Have belief in yourself, others totally believe in you. Have a GREAT day and congrats on starting to change the way you think!

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