I have started programs before and lost this 10 pounds and gained it back at least 3 to 4 times. That means I have lost 30 to 40 pounds. I have done this before I can do it again. I just have to break the habit of emotional eating and comfort food. I will work the sparks program.
Once again I reach a success, 154 pounds and I have to even it out with a failure. I was down 7 pounds with 12 to go to reach my goal. My Boys bought ice cream before they left for college. The ice cream was gone but the fudge sauce was alone in the refrigerator. The other day I had 2 T and I controlled myself. But not last night I had a glass of wine. Then I tried to just eat 2 T but I finished off the hole jar.....what happen to stopping and writing how I was feeling? Didn't even think of it. Then I worked on this really hard puzzle we have going and unconsciously ate corn chips. I recognized what I was doing but obviously didn't care. It almost a foggy state like a food coma. The positive thing I can say is I am back on the program and my pig out are less often and much less food consumed then in the past.
Why do I sabotage myself? Yesterday I weighted 155. I was thrilled even excited to weigh that morning.
Six pounds is a lot when you are 59. As the decades pass it takes more work to get weight off.
Our identical twin boys are leaving for college in 4 days. Last nite the boys stayed home a rarity for them. i made eggplant parm had a glass of wine, we played fun games. (on an ipod it is called Ellen Degenerous.) Then right before I went to bed I saw Stew eating tortilla chips....salty. ( Worst habit late night eating) They were the crumbs at the bottom of the bag, that no one eats I was doing a service to eat them. So I ate maybe a cup of crumbs. Now I am 156.5 so stupid.
But I am already back on the horse. I hope... I can only do this so many times before I stop? It is chilly today when it warms I will go biking. I can't decide why I sabotage 1) I did good I deserve a treat or 2) i don't deserve to reach my goal of 142? Who knows but I must stop.