Monday, October 10, 2011
I was having a wonderful time yesterday with a friend at a local cider mill. The day was sunny and gorgeous. My phone rang and I noticed it was my boss. I didn't answer it. I didn't want to talk to her. It immediately got me stressed and aggravated, however, as it does whenever she calls. She left a message as she was boarding a plane asking if I could come into the office today. She wanted me to call her back and leave a message. She also told me that she would be calling at 7:30 to ask me a few questions.
I'm tired of getting last minute phone calls asking me to come in for only a few hours. I'm tired of her calling me on my off days asking me work questions when any normal person would realize that I don't have my work notes and computer sitting in front of me. I'm tired of making commitments to other things and having her expect me to drop everything to come in. I'm tired of all the criticisms when she gives me no clear directions on what needs to be done and how. I'm tired of this whole situation eating away at my self-esteem.
I did call back and left a message that if she wanted me to come in today or tomorrow, I couldn't make it in until at least 2 pm. This would mean I will drive 45 minutes each way for 2.5 hours of work. Not worth the effort! She never did call me back. So, here I sit, my stomach in knots, not knowing if she really expects me to come in today or not. I am not sure what she has questions about. She knows what I did Friday. She called at least 15 times in addition to emailing me directions. She got a bcc on every email I sent out. And I know she goes into my email and reads everything anyway. She responds to every email sent to me and tells me not to even bother.
I did apologize to my friend for spoiling the mood and complaining. He mentioned that it sounded like I have my mind made up about this boss. Yeah, I do. I'm just trying to find any way to make money so I can tell this person goodbye. I really don't think I can last much longer. I already struggle with self-esteem issues. I don't think I need to keep putting myself in a situation that is going to hurt my progress. But, there's always that little "but" that I tell myself about needing the money. Darned if I do and darned if I don't.