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OOPS! I did it again....

Monday, October 10, 2011

I was having a wonderful time yesterday with a friend at a local cider mill. The day was sunny and gorgeous. My phone rang and I noticed it was my boss. I didn't answer it. I didn't want to talk to her. It immediately got me stressed and aggravated, however, as it does whenever she calls. She left a message as she was boarding a plane asking if I could come into the office today. She wanted me to call her back and leave a message. She also told me that she would be calling at 7:30 to ask me a few questions.

I'm tired of getting last minute phone calls asking me to come in for only a few hours. I'm tired of her calling me on my off days asking me work questions when any normal person would realize that I don't have my work notes and computer sitting in front of me. I'm tired of making commitments to other things and having her expect me to drop everything to come in. I'm tired of all the criticisms when she gives me no clear directions on what needs to be done and how. I'm tired of this whole situation eating away at my self-esteem.

I did call back and left a message that if she wanted me to come in today or tomorrow, I couldn't make it in until at least 2 pm. This would mean I will drive 45 minutes each way for 2.5 hours of work. Not worth the effort! She never did call me back. So, here I sit, my stomach in knots, not knowing if she really expects me to come in today or not. I am not sure what she has questions about. She knows what I did Friday. She called at least 15 times in addition to emailing me directions. She got a bcc on every email I sent out. And I know she goes into my email and reads everything anyway. She responds to every email sent to me and tells me not to even bother.

I did apologize to my friend for spoiling the mood and complaining. He mentioned that it sounded like I have my mind made up about this boss. Yeah, I do. I'm just trying to find any way to make money so I can tell this person goodbye. I really don't think I can last much longer. I already struggle with self-esteem issues. I don't think I need to keep putting myself in a situation that is going to hurt my progress. But, there's always that little "but" that I tell myself about needing the money. Darned if I do and darned if I don't.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMLILA 10/11/2011 1:15AM

    Can you set your phone to not accept her calls? You gotta get out of there and stop feeling obligated to help her out... you've already explained how much time and money in gas it takes for he few hours and it's really not worth it that way and for sure the blow to your self-esteem is definitely too high a price to pay....

I know how hard it is, but you know what you gotta do too.

Here's a section I read in a book yesterday and it is very appropriate....
Welcome trials into your life and trust Jesus will remain at peace and come out stronger each time"... (Sk. author Henry K. Ripplinger "The Angelic Letters Series"

You strong lady you!

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SUMMARAH 10/10/2011 8:42PM

    Girl ... been there, done that. If I were in your position, I would see myself as her equal, and recognize that SHE needs ME, just as much as I need this job, as seems to be the situation here. I would tell her that I needed to speak with her when she returned from her trip. FEEL CONFIDENT. Then sit her behind down, and lay some ground rules, without being rude, if at all possible at this point. Explain to her that you DO have a life outside of that job, and when she calls you at the last minute to come in for just a few hours, that's infringing on your personal life, and that if she's going to do that, she needs to pay for your time in getting there and getting back home.

She may just be doing it cuz she knows it irks you. This same thing is happening to my son right now. His boss calls him demanding that he be at work an hour earlier than what he's scheduled for. I'm pretty sure she does it to take out her frustrations about things that are happening in her personal life. She KNOWS it makes him nervous and antsy because he doesn't have a car and has to ask for a ride to work every day. And she constantly threatens to fire him if he does not comply, which makes him even MORE nervous. (While I'm typing this, I'm thinking she might could do with a good "talking to" from his mom, but I assure you, it wouldn't be pretty lol.)

You have the right attitude about getting yourself together and looking for another job. I would just try being a little more assertive on this one. Life is too long to have to put up with the bs. I'm sure if you act like you don't need her, she may just straighten up. Good luck. I'll be rootin' for ya!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NPA4LOSS 10/10/2011 7:21PM

    Maybe she won't call back after your message.

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NUTRON3 10/10/2011 8:53AM

    Awful boss

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Sunday Habits

Sunday, October 09, 2011

I have made some observations about my Sunday habits and think I should review them. Make some changes where I need to and leave some of them the way they are.

I let myself sleep in until 7-7:30. I enjoy the sleeping in, but I find that I do my exercising in little groups instead of first thing when I get up. (It's hard to fit them all in before church.) I guess that's okay one day a week.

At the church I go to, there are three men and two women that alternate giving the sermons. It dawned on me today that I tend to relate more to what the women are saying. Maybe I'm paying more attention to them or relating to them more. But I think on this one that I have to start listening to the men a little more carefully and see what more I can get out of what they are saying.

I'm a little more laid back about planning my day and staying busy. This can be either good or bad. I need to relax more, BUT maybe if I do a little more on Sunday and/or plan my week out better, the rest of the week might not be so crazy for me.

I don't take the time to touch base with family and friends like I've wanted to. This is a must work on project! I don't want to give up any friendships and they must be cultivated. Shame on me for being neglectful!

I know there's always things I can do to improve myself or do around the house. I don't know if the "It's Sunday" attitude needs to change on this or not. Maybe as the weather grows colder, it will be easier to take out a half hour to hour to do something to improve me and/or my surroundings.

Just a few things to ponder on this beautiful Sunday afternoon. I think I will go for a walk around the block and ponder some more!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMLILA 10/9/2011 10:58PM

    Take me with you on your walk. I've eaten a big Thanksgiving Dinner today and dd has been experimenting with baking and it's all been successful, thus, my eating has not been successful... cheesecake, sweet potato pie, rocky road squares and red velvet macaroons..... to contend with.... My sis and bil were here and it was a nice visit.
I am reading my second book (in the series I bought for my other sis in NS, I guess I will have to mail them to her seeing as I got to read them for free - but I did get an inscription to her from the author). It's written by a former teacher from Saskatchewan, the next province to me. Starts with a 15. u.o. growing up in Regina, Sk in 1959. He starts working at an old grocery store and the man there treats him like a son and instills values and teaches him life lessons... awesome book set....

Take time for yourself on Sunday. maybe a visit with family or fiends, but you deserve a break Patty, you are always so busy and trying so hard... Pamper yourself.
Lila emoticon

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Motivated to Have New Goals

Saturday, October 08, 2011

I had such a bad day at work on Thursday that the mood followed me into yesterday. I then decided enough was enough! I have two goals that I've actually started on yesterday and another one that I need to start on.

One: I am going to put a renewed effort into practicing my job skills (including interviewing). I will put a renewed effort into finding a job that is closer to my house and more enjoyable. I will be flexible in what I'm looking for.

Two: I will put more effort into my Avon business. I've been going over my notes. I will take more training. I will actively seek out new customers and not be afraid to ask. I really think this one will help my self-esteem. The more I talk to people, the more comfortable I will be, the more successes I will have, the more my self-esteem will build.

Three: I will find something I am interested in to volunteer my time to. I will get satisfaction from helping others.

I've been feeling like I needed some new goals in my life for a few months now. I feel a little better knowing that I at least have three that I can start with. I just wish I had more time today to start working on these goals. But, I have a commitment of a baby shower in the middle of the day and dinner with a friend afterward. Maybe I can talk my friend into helping me with my job interviewing practice....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIDMIS 10/9/2011 4:15PM

    Goals are so important and when you say emoticonyou will know it is not the end of your life and you will have even higher goals.
Sounds like you are going to be a very busy lady.

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SLIMLILA 10/9/2011 1:51AM

    Hi Patty!
Sounds like good goals, I really should be setting some... But each day is such an emotional upheaval that I don't get very far. For instance, today I weighed in at 207.5, up another 1.5 lbs... not feeling good about that, so how did I deal with it, ate a lot of chocolate, that's how and I sure do know that doesn't work!!

Have you ever volunteered at a soup kitchen? I did that for over a year and actually did it at 3 different ones. Also, you like to knit/crochet, I used to knit those little sets for preemies, and also I made slippers for hospitals and abused women shelters...How about going to the hospital and reading to someone. I've never done that, but maybe I should try it myself!!

Think of how much actual time and money you could save by working closer to home... that long trip you had to make sounded horrendous. I was so spoiled at the 3 teaching jobs where I worked with living in their teacherages and only having to walk across the street or a little bit further... less car expenses for sure...
I hope you're having a great weekend and finally have the strength to tell that old boss to stuff it!!

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NPA4LOSS 10/8/2011 11:28PM

    emoticon emoticon Great plan!

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SUMMARAH 10/8/2011 10:49PM

    Hey Patty! Good to see that you know what you want and are determined to get it! Best of luck to you, from a fellow Avon Rep :)
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Yesterday was a Bad Day

Friday, October 07, 2011

I went to work yesterday against my better judgment. I know I should have a better attitude, but I also know that I should let go of people who make me feel bad. I have this sense of "do my best and be committed" that I'm still struggling with. But yesterday sure made a good argument for getting out of Dodge.

The boss was out of town. I was there from 10-4:45. She called - no lie- at least 15 times. She called the other worker to tell me to not answer any of my emails - she already did. She called to ask if we had received an email. She actually had to make three calls before I got it. It had two attachments on it, one of which was empty. She swore she only added one attachment. She called to ask me if I had the form to send the insurance company for the employees that would soon be covered with health, life, eye, dental insurance. She didn't believe me when I said I had it. So, she called back to say she talked to the representative at the company and he would be sending it again. And make sure I save it this time! She called to ask if we got a fax from a company and didn't understand why we didn't know why we didn't.

I barely got my little bit of work done by the time I had to leave for the day. I will probably be criticized for what I did with the insurance papers. (I talked to the insurance guy myself and know I did it the way he wanted me to do it!) I also know she had made a mistake and sent a letter out to someone with the wrong name on it - I don't think I was supposed to overhear that one! I found it very hard to concentrate with all the phone calls. I also found that it was harder to remember how to do things when I don't get a chance to do them very often. Everyone has to stop and think about stuff when they haven't done it in awhile. But she honestly doesn't see it that way. She thinks I lied when I told her all that I had done for other companies. She got a little ticked at me when I told her one day that every company doesn't do things exactly how she does them.

I realize that I'm rambling. But I do find that putting my feelings and thoughts into words on paper helps me sort things in my mind. I do know that I was so exhausted last night that I couldn't really do anything after 8 pm. I was dozing at 9, and I so very much wanted to watch the whole Tigers-Yankees game!

I'm going to spend some time on my Avon job today. And I'm going to apply for as many jobs as I can, along with practicing my job interviewing skills. I'll give myself today to recuperate and think things over. I really expect that my decision will be to tell the boss that I'm not coming back in. My mental health isn't worth the little bit of money that I make and all the stress that this job comes with.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WRITEFROMHOME 10/9/2011 10:44PM

    Can you take stress leave? It seems to be a popular thing to do around here. it would give you time to think and plan.
its too bad you have to go through this - wish I could help.

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SLIMLILA 10/8/2011 2:05AM

I feel so bad when I hear how she treats you. You said it, now you have to do it, you can't have horrible people like that in your life, your mental health is certainly not worth the few bucks you get and all the stress..
I sure hope you get a real job in a nice environment real soon.
Relax and enjoy your Avon job, at least Christmas sales will be starting soon and you will make some more money there for a while!

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LOSEITLINDSAY 10/7/2011 1:28PM

    Ugh! I am so sorry!

Perhaps you should think about taking a short-term disability leave if you have coverage? Go to a stress center, and focus on yourself for a bit. You'll still get some income, and can job search during that time.

I would suggest that you have something lined up before you leave permanently, though. I was unemployed for over a year after a similar situation. Talk about stress! But, that was me.

The number 1 thing is to take care of yourself!

Comment edited on: 10/7/2011 1:29:17 PM

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NPA4LOSS 10/7/2011 12:11PM

    Patty, maybe you should just make a final decision and not look back. emoticon Talk to your daughter about your financial situation and see if she has any ideas about the condo. You need some peace in your life and much less worry. emoticon

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PRAYINGSUZIE 10/7/2011 10:28AM

    I am so sorry that you had a bad day. I hope you find today to be better! I have a boss like yours! The only way that I can stay sane is to know that I am doing everything to the best of my ability. Keep your head up and keep going. Please remember that YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!


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STRONGERLEANER 10/7/2011 10:26AM

    So sorry about how things went. Some people are more difficult to work with than others.

Keep applying for new stuff. Someone who will appreciate you and not second-guess you is out there!

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I was thinking...

Thursday, October 06, 2011

I got my usual last minute phone call from my boss late last night wanting me to come in tonight just as I was delivering some Avon. On my way home, I stopped and got $25.00 worth of gas so I wouldn't have to stop this morning. If I work 5 hours at $10.00 an hour, that's $50 before taxes. It takes me a good 45 minutes of stop and go traffic to get to work and back. So, when I subtract the taxes and the gas (I usually have to put in $30 a week but didn't have the extra $5), that doesn't leave me much profit for all the grief I go through. This is not a situation I want in my life right now.

I want to make the most of everything, including my time. I started going back through my Avon notes. I am thinking if I finish that, take some more training and put some more time into it, I should be able to make as much money as I am at this one-day-last minute job. I know I enjoy it a lot more.

It's just thoughts that I'm throwing out there. I will ponder this some more and still keep putting in applications wherever I can.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETANGO 10/7/2011 7:15AM

    So hard to figure things out sometimes. And sometimes there is a clear choice. You are on the right track and you will figure out what is right for you. emoticon

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SLIMLILA 10/7/2011 1:41AM

    I wish I could be there to help you get through this and see you be done with that place forever..
I am stupidly trying once again to complete things around here. I asked dh to copy my DL and Birth certificate 25 minutes ago and he just brought it back to me.. now he is gone to let the dog pee, no wonder I can't get anything finished...

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    It's time to be done with the part-part-time job. It isn't making you any money and causing you nothing but stress. Focus on your Avon and being happier!

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FRANCESLUCAS 10/6/2011 4:32PM

    You go girl! You are on the right track thinking about those things. Doing what you enjoy will pay off in the end and the rewards are much greater! When you are in control of your career and enjoying what you do, the opportunities are endless! Will be praying for you!!

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