I've been trying for at least two months to at least write down some new goals. I don't know how long it's been since I've known that I needed to re-vamp my goals. I haven't actually completed writing down all my goals, but I know that I have accomplished some little ones this past week. It feels good to say that.
I've been wanting to take my little SP scribbles and sayings that I've written on loose paper and put them in my SP journal book. I was able to do that on the day that I filled in for a receptionist in betweeen phone calls and other duties that needed to be done. Now I just have to get back into the habit of journaling. I did well for awhile, but that's been months ago.
My fall cleaning has started. I've got my kitchen done (with thanks to the couple ants that I didn't want to see in there.) There were canned goods left over from when my daughter and her boyfriend were still there that I knew I that would probably never use. So, I got to give them to family members that I knew would use them. It's nice to have a little more room in the cupboard. I can see what I have a little easier.
My daughter and I had a "re-gift" box. It started on top of the cupboards in the laundry room and had made it's way into the spare bedroom. I finally went through it the other day. decided what to throw away, and gave the rest of the stuff to two of my nieces. One can use some of the stuff to give to her daughters for Christmas and the other can give the stuff to her parents for Christmas. One less box of stuff that I would probably never use!
I had grand ideas of having a yard sale with my brother. But, my brother being my brother (the only boy and the baby of the family), that never materialized. And I realized that I really didn't have enough stuff of my own to have much of a sale. Maybe next year I can get him off his duff!
I am coming along on the afghan that I need to have done by October 8. I made a lot of progress yesterday when I took it with me when I went with a friend who had a lot of errands to run. It seemed rather strange to not have my grandkitty "helping" me, though.
I think my biggest accomplishment this week was taking a soft skills job interviewing class. It got me thinking about all the soft skills that I really already possess and I know now to use them to the fullest when at a job interview. I've also been going through my packet that I kept from the job interview seminar that I took maybe 6 or 7 months ago. I've been writing down my answers and trying to fine tune them. I need to go through it once more today as I am going to practice in the morning with one of my case workers.
I am trying my best to build my self-esteem back up. The boss I have now has successfully undermined a lot of the progress I had made. I admit that it was easy for me to let her. I will also admit that I'm to the point with her that her cutting remarks are not being taken to heart like they once were. I see the situation for what it is. It is temporary and it is giving me a little money and experience as I look for the next step in my career.
Now to think about and start doing more of my goals...
I am more aware of the steps I want to take in my life and where I want them to take me. I've made some of these steps lately. But it seems like there are so many more that I want to take that I haven't gotten to yet. I'm wanting to get from point A to point B a little faster than I am. I don't feel like I've quite given it my best shot yet and I really need to. Okay, I will step up with the steps a little bit each day and see where I am at the end of October.
I want to have a stable job by then. At least, I want to cut my ties with the job I have now that is causing me so much stress. I want to be more organized in my life. This means that first, I want my household to be more organized. Second, I want my personal life to be more organized and on a schedule that is more balanced. I will be healthier both physically and mentally this way. I'm not sure how I'm going to get there. But, I really want to be at least a little closer to what this is.
As I spend time on the SP website, I'm always writing down motivational sayings that inspire me and notes on articles that catch my attention. I save them to put them in my SP journal. I got called in to fill in for a sick receptionist yesterday (Yay!) and brought the notes and my notebook with me. I had enough down time between phone calls to get caught up on writing these notes into my notebook. I realized, however, that it has been a long time since I've actually written in my journal. I started a class at church yesterday that suggested that I get into the habit of journaling every day.
Okay, I had to be hit over the head, but the light bulb finally reconnected. I'm making a commitment right now to get back into the habit of journaling every day, even if it is only a line or two. I think this will help me get my emotions back in check, my stress levels down a bit and help me with those ever elusive goals that I've been wanting to update for at least two months now. I've journaled off and on ever since junior high school and know that it does help me. So....I'm going to get with it again.
I realized after my boss told me to come in today instead of yesterday that she really did me no favors and kinda messed my day up. I've got my job interviewing class from 3 - 4:30. I start a Life Cycle class that starts at church from 7:30-8:30 this evening. I've got to deliver Avon and pick up orders. I'm supposed to make it to the bank for my daughter. I've got to keep working on a baby afghan to have it ready in time for the baby shower in a couple weeks. And time for housework? What's that? I managed to misplace my water bottle from yesterday and am really hoping I left it in the car. Now I'm supposed to fit in "extra" time to go to a job that is driving me crazy. I've said before that I need to quit. I've also said that I need to get a handle on planning my days so I'm not running like crazy like today. I am now even more determined to make this happen. Now...how do I do this? I know the answer: sit down, set some goals, prioritize, set limits, say no when I have to. Can I do it? For my own sanity, YES I CAN! I HAVE TO!
I knew this would happen. I was bound and determined to go to this job interviewing class that is every day this week. I had it in my head that the job I have isn't doing me any good and that my boss is undermining my self-confidence. The phone rang about 8 pm last night and I just KNEW it was my boss. She left a message: "Can you come in tomorrow? I will be there at 11. I will see you then."
My first reaction was to call her back and tell her NO. But, my "good worker" side kept wanting to kick in and tell me that I need to go in. What to do?
I was sitting here this morning and the answer came to me. I will be the "good worker" and be there at 11 am and get some work done that I know needs to get done. (Okay - it's the payroll - I want to make sure I get the hours I worked in there correctly.) But, I will tell her that I have to leave at 2 pm. This will give me time to get to my class that I really believe will help me.
I am just a little tired of trying to live my life around a job that only has me working about 6 hours a week. It's not paying my bills. It's only stressing me out. I can take those 6 hours (plus the two hours travel time) and spend it on either my Avon business or finding a job that has more of a set schedule for me and enables me to pay my bills. I know I have to tell her that this job isn't working for me. I'm feeling like Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz" when she refers to herself as the meek and mild. Gotta get over it!