PATTYKLAVER   254,291
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Compromise

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I knew this would happen. I was bound and determined to go to this job interviewing class that is every day this week. I had it in my head that the job I have isn't doing me any good and that my boss is undermining my self-confidence. The phone rang about 8 pm last night and I just KNEW it was my boss. She left a message: "Can you come in tomorrow? I will be there at 11. I will see you then."

My first reaction was to call her back and tell her NO. But, my "good worker" side kept wanting to kick in and tell me that I need to go in. What to do?

I was sitting here this morning and the answer came to me. I will be the "good worker" and be there at 11 am and get some work done that I know needs to get done. (Okay - it's the payroll - I want to make sure I get the hours I worked in there correctly.) But, I will tell her that I have to leave at 2 pm. This will give me time to get to my class that I really believe will help me.

I am just a little tired of trying to live my life around a job that only has me working about 6 hours a week. It's not paying my bills. It's only stressing me out. I can take those 6 hours (plus the two hours travel time) and spend it on either my Avon business or finding a job that has more of a set schedule for me and enables me to pay my bills. I know I have to tell her that this job isn't working for me. I'm feeling like Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz" when she refers to herself as the meek and mild. Gotta get over it!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GLASSART43 9/22/2011 2:23PM

    Good for you for taking the class. Sometimes it's hard to be assertive on our own behalf, but I've learned that there are times when you need to put yourself first, even if others give you grief (or you think they will...)
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ANGIEINTRAINING 9/22/2011 8:00AM

    You need to do what is right for you. Six hours a week for constant stress is just not worth it!

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SLIMLILA 9/21/2011 11:12PM

    YOu and me both! When you're looking so hard for work, it doesn't seem right to be quitting, but you have to make that decision, as hard as it is.. put yourself first this time!!

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MOMMA48 9/21/2011 8:32PM

    emoticonand you know that I super understand with my past position. There comes a time when you have to take a good look at the whole picture and do what is right for you -- I know you'll make the right decision and best wishes, hun.

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NORASH3 9/21/2011 6:38PM

    Trust and honesty is very important!
You have bills to pay!!

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Wishing you success in all your endeavours!
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TOPAZROSE 9/21/2011 10:52AM

    Insecurity is very stressful. I wish you success with your job search. emoticon

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NPA4LOSS 9/21/2011 9:41AM

    emoticon Best wishes on the day ahead. emoticon

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MJRVIC2000 9/21/2011 9:30AM

    You live with compromise because your life is full of conflicts.
This world demands compromise. Be honest with your boss and tell her the truth...you need a job that pays your bills. Have a blessed day, Vic.

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Job Interviewing

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Last week, I started practicing my job interviewing answers by myself. Yesterday, I practiced with my case worker at Michigan Rehabilitation Services. I realized how much farther I need to come in order to come across as being confident and enthusiastic. I've always struggled with self-esteem issues and I'm realizing now that the piddly job that I have right now is not helping any. I found myself cringing when the phone rang this morning because I thought it may be my boss wanting me to drop everything and come in for a few hours today. (I got a total of 6 hours last week - it wasn't worth going in considering the gas it took to get there.)

My other case worker at MRS called me at about 2:50 yesterday. She apologized for not thinking of it earlier, then asked me if I wanted to come to a week-long (1.5 hours a day) job interviewing class. I jumped at the chance and think it will be very good for me.

I've talked it over with the people at MRS and with my counselor last night. They all think this class is a good idea. They also think that my boss is definitely undermining my self-confidence and it would be in my best interest to let the job go.

It scares me to not have something lined up, but I have had a few interviews in the past couple weeks and have the possibilities of a few more. I do have one this morning at a major company. I am saying a little prayer that I will remember enough of what I have practiced so far and that I will have a decent job interview.

I've got to believe that somehow I will pull through by letting this job go. I will at least know I won't have to cringe when the phone rings. No boss telling me that I won't be able to learn something or that I screwed up (because she forgot to explain how to do something - oh, excuse me: she's perfect and doesn't make mistakes.) This has me feeling somewhat like I did before I came up to Michigan. I hate the feeling. I'm not getting any younger and am scared that if I don't get a job soon, I will not be able to get one at all. So, I'm going to take a leap of faith and go for it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMLILA 9/21/2011 1:28AM

    Glad you have so much support, Patty. That gives me an idea too, the interviewing class sounds wonderful... I have a mental health consult tomorrow, and I think I should ask about something similar..

How'd it go today? I know how scarey it is to actually quit a job with no backup and even having other people who believe in you telling you it's the right thing to do must be very good for your confidence...

I had a 2 hr. talk today with unemployment agent and she helped me to feel so much better. She even understood when I said I am not ready yet to put my name on the substitute teacher list. She even gave me a big HUG by phone......
Here's one for you too.. emoticon

and remember where God guides, God provides.... and also that some gifts come wrapped in black paper.....

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REVSERENA 9/21/2011 12:03AM

    Sometimes the best way for me to gain confidence is to get the focus off myself. I find that if I can make myself really curious about the company and the position, curious enough to do research ahead of time, and to come up with some good questions to ask THEM, the part of the interview where they are questioning me goes easier. Best of luck with the interviewing class and the upcoming interviews!

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MELLYBEANS0919 9/20/2011 11:45PM

    The interview class will be super helpful, I took one last year! Good for you taking care of yourself. Awesome on getting a bunch of interviews too, you will find something!!

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NPA4LOSS 9/20/2011 11:45AM

    emoticon Don't give up on yourself. You are taking all the right steps. emoticon

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MPEACH87 9/20/2011 11:12AM

    I think I'd have found a way to make my boss quit if they were that terrible.

Good luck with the interviews and the class!!!

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INGMARIE 9/20/2011 9:50AM

    You have a terrible boss it seems, and quitting will be the best for you and your self esteem
Good Luck emoticon with the new interviews.


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PASTORJO 9/20/2011 9:45AM

    I hope the job interviewing class helps! I've been there - where someone has been so negative, so viral that their voice makes you cringe You aren't paid enough to put up with that.

Stay focused on your strengths and talents Patty! You can do it!

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CHRIS3215 9/20/2011 9:24AM

    YUP go for it & show them U can do it & that your age don't mean you are too old EXPERIENCE is the word not OLD..lol
GOOD LUCK & keep us posted...

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CATREB 9/20/2011 8:34AM

    emoticon

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Nice Weekend, But..

Sunday, September 18, 2011

I had a very nice weekend this weekend. I helped someone who wasn't expecting it and got in some exercise doing it. I got to go to my first baby shower in years and visit with people I hadn't seen in awhile. Last night, I had a chance to have a good visit with someone dear. I went to church this morning after sleeping in too late the last two Sundays. After church, I got to stop and buy stuff for another baby shower. (Guess I shouldn't have made the comment about not having gone to any showers!) I love babies, though, and it cheered me up just looking through all the baby stuff that's out there. It was hard to make decisions on what to buy, though. I may go to the cider mill this afternoon, but that will depend on how tired the person is that I would go with.

But, now that I'm home from the store and sitting in front of the computer, I think of all the things I should be doing. Should I have spend so much time and money at the store today? I should be applying for jobs and practicing my job interviewing skills. Not to mention, there's always cleaning to do. I have this major side of me that thinks I have to be doing something constructive all the time instead of taking time out just to enjoy life.

At times, I think it's because I don't have a job and money and structure in my life that I feel I need to do this to have structure. At times, I just wonder if it's in my psyche just because I have ADD. At times, I just want everything to be different and perfect. I remind myself to make lists and to put things on them in order of importance. Do I really do that every day to the best of my ability?

It's a good thing that I have an appointment with my counselor tomorrow. I want to throw a few of these questions that I have out to her and see what kind of feedback she gives me. Meanwhile, I will get done what I can and just start all over tomorrow.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMLILA 9/18/2011 11:36PM

    Yeah, why do we feel like we need to be doing something productive all the time? I've seen a post on the message boards that says, "what should you be doing right now?" and I always want to say (maybe even have) why should I have to be doing anything at all right now? I know it always seems like there's something to do, but even if we don't get it done, iy will still be there if we enjoy something instead. emoticon

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NPA4LOSS 9/18/2011 7:49PM

    I think it is great that you took timeout to relax today. It will make your thinking clearer when you go back to your lists.

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PRAYINGSUZIE 9/18/2011 7:02PM

    There is always something to do but you need to take care a little time for yourself.

Suzie

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DONNABRIGHT 9/18/2011 3:04PM

    It's ok to give yourself a break now and again. None of us are perfect.

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Not a Good Start

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I didn't sleep well last night and the dogs made sure I was up when they wanted me up. It's made for a sluggish morning. The computer must have been awakened too early, too, because it's been acting up: locking up, etc. I don't know how many times I've had to get out of the internet and start over. I've even shut down the computer a couple times. It's almost noon and I can't say I've accomplished much yet today. So, it's time to get busy and at least get dressed.

I've got a baby shower to go to this afternoon. I can't remember the last time I've been to one: definitely years. I debated on what to get as a gift, then decided to go with my standard gift. I made a baby afghan, bought some baby food, and gathered together some stuff that most people forget to get until after the baby is born (i.e. bags for dirty diapers, plugs for the outlets, containers for finger foods for when you're out and about with baby) I hope I got enough and that it doesn't look cheesy.

I'm not sure what I will be doing this evening. I'm so used to planning every minute that since I didn't, I feel lost. I'm sure I will come up with something relaxing. After my busy week, I think I can handle that.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NPA4LOSS 9/17/2011 4:17PM

    emoticon Sometimes the best plan is to not have a plan and enjoy what comes along. emoticon

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POINTAFTER 9/17/2011 3:09PM

    The gifts sound very thoughtful, actually. Not stuff people put on a registry, but you're right; something they need and don't think about - until they need them emoticon

I'm sure something to do will pop into your head on the way home from there. Enjoy your day!

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One Journey on New Path Started

Friday, September 16, 2011

I started going through my folder on what employment agencies I'm registered with, my job interview notes, thank you letter notes, etc. I emailed all the agencies an updated version of my resume. I already got one response that wants to send my resume off to a position that's only two miles from my house. I guess the squeaky wheel sometimes does get the grease.

I also started answering some of the interview questions that were listed in the packet I have from a seminar I took through the state. It got me thinking about what I really do want from a job and what I liked and hated about the jobs that I've had. This was a really good thing for me. I feel like it's my start on getting some new goals in my life. I want to go through and answer more questions and see how I can improve some of my answers.

I couldn't believe how long it took me to do this project. I didn't get as far as I wanted to and I certainly didn't get to a lot of other things that I wanted to do yesterday. But I believe it was an important step in defining my new paths in life and figuring out how to get down those paths.

I will be working on it again today. But I will pay more attention to the time and limit myself on this project. There are other things that I feel I need to do to help me get organized in life. I'm counting on all of this helping me define the new me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NPA4LOSS 9/17/2011 4:19PM

    It sounds like a great plan! emoticon

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SLIMLILA 9/17/2011 1:38AM

    Good for you Patty... Sounds like you had a productive day... nice thought to think about what you liked or disliked and what you would like to have in a job... I think I have always been in the same boat as you that I needed money coming in ASAP, and couldn't stop to think and only look for what I wanted. I hope this new job you heard about so close to your house works out, that would be so awesome..

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