PATTYKLAVER   225,173
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PATTYKLAVER's Recent Blog Entries

Motivated

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I woke up motivated and full of good intentions. There's a lot I want to do today. I have errands to run, chores to do, etc. I've got my list made and am anxious to see how much I can really accomplish. I think that it will help my state of mind if I can at least accomplish most of what I want to do today.

A main priority is to look for another job/find a way to bring money in. I'm done with letting this job that I have drag me down. It's not worth it any way I look at it.

I also want to organize the house and get rid of a lot of stuff that I just don't use or need anymore. There are a few reasons for this: I could possibly sell some things and use the money, I will feel like I am getting a clean start, and when/if I have to move because I can't afford this place anymore, I won't have so much to move.

I will take stock tonight and see how far I've come.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETANGO 8/16/2011 7:44PM

    emoticon Great to hear! emoticon

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NPA4LOSS 8/16/2011 7:11PM

    emoticon I am so glad that I downsized. My life is so much easier and a smaller place means less stress. emoticon Great ideas!

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FULLOFFAITH 8/16/2011 3:33PM

    Keep that motivation on High emoticon

Lisa

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KAMAPERRY 8/16/2011 3:05PM

    emoticon Keep it up!

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Another Monday Full of Promise and Determination

Monday, August 15, 2011

This morning begins another Monday morning - another beginning of another week. I always start out promising myself that this week will be different: that I will have a better attitude, set some goals, get some positive things done. I am tired of not following through and am disappointed in myself. It's time to get a little more proactive and start improving myself. Setting some goals is high priority this morning. I will get them down on paper (even if they start off vague). I will post them in a blog to make myself more accountable. I can do this.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAMAPERRY 8/15/2011 11:37PM

    emoticon

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MNABOY 8/15/2011 11:01PM

    Pressure is high for a successful SP Leader! You have proven you can deal with multiple challenges so you shall prevail.

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GLASSART43 8/15/2011 4:54PM

    One day at a time - since joining SP I am really focusing on this idea. Don't beat yourself up and don't give up.
emoticon

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NPA4LOSS 8/15/2011 1:42PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MPEACH87 8/15/2011 8:41AM

    You can do it Patty!!

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MPEACH87 8/15/2011 8:40AM

    You can do it Patty!!

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BABYGIRLLOVE1 8/15/2011 8:38AM

  emoticon It helps to have a journal and track what u eat ,your fitness and your daily goals.

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A Strange Weekend

Sunday, August 14, 2011

My family had planned for a couple months to go to my sister's cottage this weekend. I really felt that I needed to go because my mother really wanted to have all her children with her. I'm not sure if she'll ever get the chance to do this again. I didn't really know until the last minute if I would be able to get the time off of my "wonderful" job, but I did.

We got on the road about 1:30 Friday. The closer we got to the cottage, the worse the weather got. It absolutely poured all day Saturday until about 6:30 and was cool and miserable. Not the best of weather for being right on the lake with a beautiful beach and a pontoon boat. So, yesterday was not very exciting. We did play cards a little and sit in the hot tub in the rain.

I had a bad dream last night and couldn't fall back asleep. So, I just got up at 5:30 and started cleaning up the cottage. My brother woke up while I was taking my shower. About 8:20, we were going to go see what the weather was like outside. We heard a beeping noise and the power went out. So...we got everybody up and headed home as it was cool and still rainy outside.

So, I did enjoy spending the time with my family, but I was really expecting the weekend to go so differently and be so much more fun. No swimming...no boat rides...no bonfires to sit around. Now I'm home trying to adjust my spirits. It's a struggle. I'm hoping a good night's sleep in my own bed will help turn my attitude around. I'm thinking I'm going to have to journal and talk with some friends before I do this.

But I'm determined to get a better outlook. I'm tired of not being happy with how my life is going - I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and need to push myself out.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NPA4LOSS 8/15/2011 1:42PM

    emoticon Keep working on that positive attitude and it will come. emoticon

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PASTORJO 8/15/2011 10:52AM

    While family time can be great, I understand the disappointment of wanting/expecting outdoor, water time and not getting it.

Is there a way you can go again before the summer ends?

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KAMAPERRY 8/14/2011 11:45PM

    Love the family time!

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DIDMIS 8/14/2011 9:08PM

    Maybe you were supposed to just spend time with your mom and the rest of the family.
I am sure you will never forget the week end and I am glad you could go.
Irene

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Saying a Little Prayer

Friday, August 12, 2011

I'm saying a little prayer today that I can get my work done by 12 noon. I'm hoping that I have no problems getting out of work then so I can go to my sister's cottage with my family. Sounding selfish, I need a couple days of R & R with my family. My mother is up in age and her health is not the best. I don't know if I will ever get another chance to do this with her. I want the good memories. Plus, with the economy the way it is, my sister is not sure how long she will be able to afford having two households - definitely understandable. So, getting a chance to do this means a bit to me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAMAPERRY 8/13/2011 12:20AM

    emoticon

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DIDMIS 8/12/2011 7:09PM

    I hope you made it. You are not selfish at all and do have some good reasons to go. Let us know if you got to go.
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LINDA! 8/12/2011 3:52PM

    emoticon emoticon

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NPA4LOSS 8/12/2011 10:59AM

    emoticon and emoticon my friend. Have a great weekend!

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FITMARY 8/12/2011 7:31AM

    Have a great weekend! It sounds wonderful!

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GARDENCHRIS 8/12/2011 7:29AM

    go and enjoy the week end... emoticon

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Still Struggling

Thursday, August 11, 2011

I am still struggling with my emotional state and am trying like crazy to stay on an even keel. I think my work situation is the biggest reason. I can't get a definite schedule out of them. It's hard to plan and have consistency with an irregular schedule. And the remarks from the boss and the other employee undermine what little confidence I had built up. The boss's remarks remind me of my (separated) husband's comments - I can't do anything right and they want to check everything I do because they just "know" they'll find something wrong. It's hard to keep going with people like that breathing down my neck.

I'm trying to get back into the habit of saying my prayers and journaling every day. I'm hoping this will help. And I've got a knot tied at the end of the rope I'm hanging on to. It's just so hard some days to keep holding on. I'm actively searching for new employment, but am questioning myself about how I'd do at another job. Will I not do well somewhere else? Will my ADD be a problem? (I know that I have to have notes and consistency and a variety of things to do - as opposed to the same thing all the time - to do better with this.)

I am hoping that I will be able to finish my work tomorrow by noon so I can go to my sister's cottage with my family. Maybe a weekend away is just what the doctor ordered. If I'm MIA Saturday and Sunday, you'll know that I'm up north trying to re-group.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIDMIS 8/14/2011 4:17PM

    Hope you are at your sisters cottage. Look up. Don't let others influence you.
God bless you.
Irene

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SLIMLILA 8/12/2011 1:17AM

    I sure hope to find you MIA for the weekend, like they say sometimes a change is as good, as a rest, and you could get both. Your are so patient, I am sure the Lord has a special reward for you - just wish his timing was the same as ours.. emoticon

Don't let them undermine your confidence, I know how hard it is to build it up! I did apply to those 30 jobs and only the personnel agency called me back... and after the interview, I haven't heard from them at all... Good thing I have money to fall back on or I would be starting to worry by now...and I'm keeping busy with too many things, so I try not to take it personally and let it destroy my confidence... dh is doing a job on that all my himself....

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NPA4LOSS 8/11/2011 7:14PM

    I hope that you can finish tomorrow in order to make your trip. You seem so much more relaxed when you are able to get away for a while. I am proud of you for hanging on. Best wishes for where ever this journey may lead.

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KAMAPERRY 8/11/2011 1:23PM

    Praying for you!

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