Saturday, July 30, 2011
I'm starting to see a pattern at work. My boss is a highly motivated multi-tasker, which is fine for some people. I can be highly motivated and am perfectly capable at multi-tasking. But I have found that my boss's pace is faster than mine. And her pace seems to get faster at about 4:30 when most people are starting to wind up work projects for the day. I end up getting out of work anywhere from 15 minutes to two hours later than when I'm supposed to. Combine this with my long rush hour commute, and I come home very stressed.
At times like this, my lack of self-confidence comes out. I know I'm not the fastest person in the world. And I know, especially with my ADD, that I like to double-check my work without someone watching over me and pushing me to get things out yesterday. I've got to figure out how to be quicker, more efficient, and better at getting things right the first time all the time. Maybe this position will motivate me to become more perfect. Maybe this position is just a stepping stone for something more suited to my capabilities.
Is there a job out there that I would be able to do? I am having a doubting-myself day: one of many. Lots of thinking and soul-searching to do...and waiting and seeing how I do next week.