PATTYKLAVER   236,362
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Resigned, Yet not Resigned

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I am resigned to the fact that there are changes happening in my life that I do not like and I don't want to happen. But that doesn't mean that I'm happy about them at all. The parts that bother me the most are: (1) One thing is the result of no fault of the people that are involved and (2) it's hurting people that I care aboutthe most. I have to deal with this the best way I can for the benefit of all.

On another hand, some things that are happening are the results of things that I did or did not do. I am determined to change that. It's time for me to reach for the stars and grow a little. I can do this!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA48 4/11/2011 2:50PM

    emoticonYou can do it, Patty! emoticon

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LINDA! 4/10/2011 7:45PM

    Sending Spark love to you. emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 4/10/2011 6:49PM

    emoticon Rooting for ya!

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CTEMPLE 4/10/2011 6:40PM

    Dear Patty GREAT BLOG! and yes You can!
Claudia

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NPA4LOSS 4/10/2011 11:49AM

    You go girl! We need to expand our horizons and enjoy life no matter where we are in life. emoticon

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Too Much on My Mind

Saturday, April 09, 2011

My schedule has been wacked out lately and doesn't seem like it's going to get better for at least a couple weeks. Combine this with some personal changes that are going on in my life, and I'm an emotional wreck lately. Tears spring up quickly at the worst possible moments. I know I have to be strong for myself and my daughter, but I'm still struggling to do this. "One moment at a time" has been my mantra lately. The next three days will be the hardest. I'm hoping things will start to even out for me after that.

I start my training for my job Monday. I really don't want the job, I don't think I'll like it, and it certainly won't pay my bills. Just not enough money per hour. But, it's a paycheck for right now. And I've been spending a lot of time job-hunting on line. I'm still checking into getting some re-training in some areas that I need to work on. I'm just not sure if it will be at a school: What school? How do I pay for it? I may be able to get an updated software program, buy or borrow a book from the library, and muddle through some of the training myself.

So much on my mind - so much to think about! How long will it be before I have all my answers? I just need to concentrate on my number one priority right now: my daughter. A lot of my decisions that will have to be made are with her best interests in mind.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAMAPERRY 4/10/2011 12:38AM

    Praying for you.

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CTEMPLE 4/9/2011 10:33PM

    Hope is not too difficult these first 3 days. After that you will have more clarity for other things.
There are excel books that teach you the new version in 24 lessons, that kind of thing I find useful. As to how well you know a software there's no end to what you can learn, but it's very difficult to retain it unless you use it all the time and reaffirm your knowledge with practise at work.

Fingers crossed for Monday
Claudia emoticon emoticon

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MYTURN11 4/9/2011 3:13PM

    You are a great Mom. The best of luck to you. Jobs are very hard to come by right now. My daughter looked for a year and a half after the downsizing at her bank job and then her stay at home software support job.

Just try to not think too far ahead. Try to stay in the moment and take a walk with your daughter and don't forget to breathe ~ deeply ~ in and out. It will all be ok.


emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/9/2011 3:14:11 PM

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Time for Change

Thursday, April 07, 2011

My temporary job may or may not have one more night tonight. I enjoy the job, but not the late hours. It's played havoc on my schedule! It was a good experience, either way.

After not doing well on the Excel test at the new employment agency, I got to thinking about ways to improve my marketability. I did stop and check with one school yesterday. There's a possibility that I may get my employment office to help with some re-training. But the person I need to talk to won't be back in the office until Monday. I've also thought of checking with the local community college to see what it has to offer.

After sending out so many resumes and going on so many interviews, I'm just not feeling very confident of my abilities right now. Having been out of the workforce for so long because of my back problems didn't help. Neither does my age or my ADD (although I don't mention that). I've got to get back on the confidence track in order to accomplish more than getting an $8 an hour job that I know I won't be happy doing for an extended period of time. Plus, it just won't pay all my bills. I really don't want to have to get a second job.

So many thoughts are racing through my mind. But I am acting on them one thought at a time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARLIGHT22146 4/8/2011 1:46PM

    Been thinking of you, and hoping the job situation improves quickly!!

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DIDMIS 4/8/2011 12:57AM

    I wish the very best for you and trust you will find just the right job.

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CTEMPLE 4/7/2011 9:00PM

    Thinking of you in this difficult situation. You have to do what feels right for you.
Claudia

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KAMAPERRY 4/7/2011 1:09PM

    emoticon

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Schedule Crazies

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

I have been wanting to have more of a set schedule for at least a month now. With my temporary job and intense job hunting, I feel that my attempts at having a better schedule have been futile. I feel that my sleep has taken the brunt of the craziness. Of course, this has had a trickle down effect on the rest of my life. I was so tired yesterday afternoon that I had to lay down for about 45 minutes. This was not something I wanted to do. There were things that I wanted to get done that got pushed off again.

My schedule will again change next week, as I feel that I need to take the low paying job. At this point, I need to take any job as opposed to not having a job at all.

I have been seriously thinking that I may need to take some refresher classes. I can't help but wonder if this would help my chance of obtaining a better paying job. It's been three years since I've graduated. With my being off work a year and a half because of my back and my time off looking for work, I probably have forgotten some of the things that I have used. But, where to fit it in???

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTEMPLE 4/7/2011 2:35AM

    Hi Patty the most important thing is sleep and rest, everything depends on it. Time spent resting is never wasted.
Refresher course sounds good but unless you can set aside a night or do it online it might be too hard on you at the moment.
I do hope you find something you like better, but sometimes need imposes!
Claudia

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MOM2OR 4/6/2011 7:11PM

    I hope you're able to find something you love doing! I didn't go to college or university but I know some people who did and they can't even find full time jobs...ESPECIALLY in their fields! Crazy how the working world works. Good luck! I'm sure you'll find something.

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C11ELF16 4/6/2011 1:45PM

    Take care of yourself in all the craziness. What about online classes that you can do at your own pace? Hope you find something that works for you ! emoticon

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NPA4LOSS 4/6/2011 11:31AM

    You have to make time for yourself in all the craziness of life. You deserve to be at the top of your to do list not at the bottom. My therapist always says " you can't do anything if you are running on empty. Take some time to fill your self up. Rest, exercise and eating right.

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THEEXERCISER 4/6/2011 9:03AM

    I hope that everything works out for you!

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Job Update

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

I've got tonight and tomorrow night left at my temporary job. (It has to be done by the 7th.) I have enjoyed the work but not the disruption to my somewhat shaky schedule - i.e. I haven't slept well. But, the money will come in handy.

I'm still hunting another job that will have some satisfaction and growth to it. The job that I'm supposed to start training for on Monday is definitely temporary for the first 90 days and only pays $8 an hour. After the 90 days, the company can hire me on permanently, but the most I'd ever make would be $9 an hour. The last time I did my budget, I think I figured I'd need between $12 and $13 an hour to pay my bills.

Yes, I want a satisfying and challenging job that will pay the bills. No, I don't want to have to work two jobs to make ends me. I really don't thinks that because of my age and my physical limitations that I'd really be able to do that. So, I'm still debating back and forth about taking the position. If I do take it, it will be difficult to spend time job hunting and going on job interviews. But...it will be some money coming in. What a quandary!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTEMPLE 4/5/2011 7:52PM

    Yes it's difficult, I would take low paying and keep an eye on a better one.
Claudia

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KKP4673 4/5/2011 12:16PM

    I appreciate that you are still in the game and trying and trying!! I hope this job will provide some challenges and some gains that aren't monetary based. --Maybe some people you will encounter will help lift the weight of life?! --Wouldn't that be nice?!

I absolutely hope for the best for you!!

emoticon

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C11ELF16 4/5/2011 11:50AM

    Good luck...these are difficult decisions. I know that you will make the right decision for you. HOPING good things will come your way !!! emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 4/5/2011 11:05AM

    You will find one!

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DONNABRIGHT 4/5/2011 9:05AM

    Sometimes we have to do the temporary thing to get to the right thing for us. Hang in there.

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EAP1115 4/5/2011 8:05AM

  I WISH I COULD OFFER YOU A GUARANTEE, JUST DO YOUR BEST AND THINGS WILL WORK OUT

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