Saturday, August 25, 2012
"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however." ~ Richard Bach
This quote seems especially fitting to me this week. I've been working towards wishes during the past year. I'm getting closer to having answers to my wishes and it seems like they are still dangling in front of me just out of my reach. I feel that I've worked so hard for so little results.
I left my husband in June, 2010 and moved back to Michigan. I moved in with my daughter in her condo. She has since moved to Nova Scotia and I've been struggling to make the mortgage payments for her. I am ever grateful that I do have a wonderful place to stay and that I have the company of my grand-kitty, Lulu. She is a joy in my life.
DH has been fighting the divorce tooth and nail. He's hiding assets and not cooperating with my lawyer at all. With a little creativity and the help of good friends, I have found out where he has hidden these assets and have been able to get proof to my lawyer. I really don't know if I will get anything out of the divorce that is rightfully coming to me except, of course, the divorce. We have property together and a business. He has a 401K and some retirement benefits. By law, I am entitled to some of this. He believes that I am not. At my age, I feel that I am starting over with absolutely nothing.
Since 2006, I have had three major back surgeries. There are things that I will never be able to do again. There are things that I shouldn't do so as to not aggravate my back, but sometimes I have no choice. One of these things is working where I am working. But, it's been a struggle to find a job at all and I felt that I had no choice but to take the job in order to survive and pay my bills.
I have found out that this week will be my last week at the job. No word came from any of the bosses. I'm just not on the schedule. I do have another part time job lined up, but the mandatory drug test results are not in yet. I've never had them take so long. So, it's a waiting game.
I am trying to get some disability help. I have a hearing scheduled for Tuesday. The lawyer I hired pretty much told me that because of the job I had no choice in taking, I will most likely not get it. It doesn't matter that I've been back and forth to my doctor, scheduled for physical therapy, put on work hour and lifting limitation and put on medications for the pain and muscle spasms. Knowing that there are people out there with less problems than I have getting disability makes it an even harder pill to swallow.
It's been a struggle lately to keep my spirits up. I've had nightmares every night this week. But, I am still wishing. I've made it this far in life. I've had a lot of good things come my way. I have a fantastic family. I've got a great support system in my SP buddies. And I thank every one of you for being there for me.
It's time to come up with some new wishes and goals. I am carefully considering them. I want these to be ones are are more easily attainable.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
For two years now, I have been spending anywhere from one to three hours every day applying for jobs. I have signed up at I don't know how many employment agencies. I've had a few temporary jobs in these two years, but so far nothing permanent. It's been a job looking for a job.
In May, in desperation, I took a part time temporary job at The Home Depot as a cashier. There was so much to learn. It's hard on my back to be on my feet on concrete lifting things that I really shouldn't be lifting. And, anyone who has worked with the public knows that not every customer is pleasant and "right". The pay isn't the greatest. I can't plan anything because I never know from week to week what my schedule will be. There were many days where I worked until 10:30 at night and been back in at 6 in the morning. It's definitely not something that I enjoy doing. But I've done it to squeek by and pay the bills. It's been challenging.
I finally got a call this morning with a job offer. Granted, this one, too, is part time. But it's in an office. It pays more and I will have REGULAR HOURS. I will have my life back. I will be able to do the things I like to do and have committed myself to doing. I will have more time for family and friends and things that I enjoy.
I will be able to still hang onto my Avon business and be able to put a little more time in it. This will boost my earnings ability.
I don't think the reality of this has sunk in yet. But I'm going to enjoy the ride.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
My attempts to organize my life is coming along more slowly than I would like it to. I feel that for every step forward that I take, I take two to three backward. I still have more questions than answers right now. I know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, though. I just know realistically that the tunnel is about a month to two months long. I am just taking it one day at a time knowing that eventually I will get there. Sometimes we all have to travel the bumpy road.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
There are many things going on in my life right now that I don't feel that I have too much control over. It drives me a little crazy. But, it has given me the motivation to find areas in my life that I can control. So, in that respect, it's a good thing.
One thing that I have decided to do is go through and organize my house. I have already thrown away some things that have outlived their usefullness. This has made me feel a little better.
Another thing I am working on is determining the items in my household that are still useful but that I really haven't used in awhile or have no plans on using within the next year or so. I have always read that if you haven't used something in a year, you don't really need it. I found a resale shop that's really close to my house and have set up an appointment with them for 11 am on Monday. I've got a few things ready to take already. I'm planning on spending time today and tomorrow getting a few more things together. If I am pleased with the shop, I can always get more things together and set up another appointment. If I am not pleased, I have a list of other resale shops that I can try. Uncluttering the house and making some money is a win-win situation. A yard sale is not an option, as I live in a condo that is off the main road.
I'm anxious to see how much I can accomplish. I am hoping that by doing this, it will accomplish a couple things. I will be more organized and have a little more room for things that really matter. I will have a little extra money. And I will spend time and energy on something I can control as opposed to sitting and worrrying about things I can't control.
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