Saturday, August 25, 2012
"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however." ~ Richard Bach
This quote seems especially fitting to me this week. I've been working towards wishes during the past year. I'm getting closer to having answers to my wishes and it seems like they are still dangling in front of me just out of my reach. I feel that I've worked so hard for so little results.
I left my husband in June, 2010 and moved back to Michigan. I moved in with my daughter in her condo. She has since moved to Nova Scotia and I've been struggling to make the mortgage payments for her. I am ever grateful that I do have a wonderful place to stay and that I have the company of my grand-kitty, Lulu. She is a joy in my life.
DH has been fighting the divorce tooth and nail. He's hiding assets and not cooperating with my lawyer at all. With a little creativity and the help of good friends, I have found out where he has hidden these assets and have been able to get proof to my lawyer. I really don't know if I will get anything out of the divorce that is rightfully coming to me except, of course, the divorce. We have property together and a business. He has a 401K and some retirement benefits. By law, I am entitled to some of this. He believes that I am not. At my age, I feel that I am starting over with absolutely nothing.
Since 2006, I have had three major back surgeries. There are things that I will never be able to do again. There are things that I shouldn't do so as to not aggravate my back, but sometimes I have no choice. One of these things is working where I am working. But, it's been a struggle to find a job at all and I felt that I had no choice but to take the job in order to survive and pay my bills.
I have found out that this week will be my last week at the job. No word came from any of the bosses. I'm just not on the schedule. I do have another part time job lined up, but the mandatory drug test results are not in yet. I've never had them take so long. So, it's a waiting game.
I am trying to get some disability help. I have a hearing scheduled for Tuesday. The lawyer I hired pretty much told me that because of the job I had no choice in taking, I will most likely not get it. It doesn't matter that I've been back and forth to my doctor, scheduled for physical therapy, put on work hour and lifting limitation and put on medications for the pain and muscle spasms. Knowing that there are people out there with less problems than I have getting disability makes it an even harder pill to swallow.
It's been a struggle lately to keep my spirits up. I've had nightmares every night this week. But, I am still wishing. I've made it this far in life. I've had a lot of good things come my way. I have a fantastic family. I've got a great support system in my SP buddies. And I thank every one of you for being there for me.
It's time to come up with some new wishes and goals. I am carefully considering them. I want these to be ones are are more easily attainable.