PATTYCAKE17   47,951
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Plan ahead while we can

Friday, February 10, 2012

My Mom is doing fine again after a rough transition day from the hospital to the rehab center. The hospital neglected to send her out with a pain patch, an essential part of her daily meds. I was so upset when i learned of this but was able to alert my sister nearby and she got the new facility on the ball ASAP. Thank God. So I had a peaceful sleep after that, and I think my Mom did, as well.
Throughout this ordeal of my Mother's, I've become much more conscious of my own vulnerability. I see my Mom trying to hold onto the last vestiges of independence, as "others" gradually take it from her; and then there was the fall, and the fractured hip. It was an automatic surrender of her independence, and not a thing she could do about it. How do you prepare for such an event, and its' consequences? That has become a question that is ever present in my mind. I have thought of some things, and I hope others will be able to add their ideas.
Some things we need to consider and DO beforehand, such as:
1. There are conversations we NEED TO HAVE long before they are relevant.
2. Our loved ones, and closest friends need to KNOW ONE ANOTHER.
3. Our loved ones and closest friends need to KNOW HOW WE FEEL about MEDICAL INTERVENTIONS and expected OUTCOMES.
4. They need to know that we would like to be CONSULTED about decisions directly concerning our lives and future.
5. They need know that old age does NOT have to mean SENILITY.
6. They need to know that we still need to maintain a semblance of dignity even if we are reduced to a bedpan. Please remember back to when I was the smartest lady you knew and the one you came to with every problem, expecting it to be solved by your wonderful all-knowing Mom!
7. Please remember that there is still a sensitive, intelligent, and loving individual lying on that bedpan, or pushing that walker around.
8. Please remember that I was once young and part of me still is.
9. Back to #2. some of my friends know me better than you do, so please get them involved in my present circumstance and ask their opinions, if they haven't already given them. LOL
Hopefully, we will not have to go through the changes my Mom has had to endure in the past two months, or at least not as quickly, but if we do, remember, if we fail to plan, we plan to fail.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VINGRAM 2/13/2012 8:33AM

    Patty....good blog. We all need to TALK before this happens to us! So many are caregivers now and are getting worn out. Take care of yourself! vista emoticon

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TRACYZABELLE 2/13/2012 2:52AM

    My friend had the same problem with her MIL when she was transferred out-- no pain meds on board and she was in so much pain especially after being shuttled around in that ambulance! I am so sorry your mom is having difficulties!

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MARITIMER3 2/12/2012 11:36PM

    Very wise blog. It's really important to pre-plan, and to write things down so that if you can't speak for yourself, someone else can speak for us.

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BELDONDOG1 2/10/2012 11:41PM

    Pattie, a beautiful blog. After I lost my sister, I was going through a lot of funny changes and I decided I would start to get my things in order, because we never know if we'll be here tomorrow. Hold no grudges, tell those we love how we feel and what we want and as you said, remember there is still a sensitive, loving person, even if we are on the pan or pushing a walker. Everyone, if lucky enough, will get old and hopefully they have a great daughter as you. Good writing!

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JILL313 2/10/2012 10:16PM

    Such good ideas and gives me food for thought about myself and my children. Both of my parents died quite a few years ago. Sometimes I feel other people who don't really know me already are putting me in the elderly category but I feel I'm far from that even if I'm a Senior now. It is so hard giving up your independence and depending on others for your mere survival. I'm so glad you understand how your Mom feels and hope and your siblings and friends do also.

Hugs,

Jill

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RFJSJ50 2/10/2012 7:56PM

    I can relate to all you said. I've recently been going through a similar situation (although not as drastic) with my mom. It's hard to reverse roles and become the care taker but I keep assuring mom that I WANT to do it. She values her independence and I have to walk a fine line with her. Sometimes it can be frustrating but it's worth it because we love our mothers!
Sheila

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Gifts of insight from my mother's fall

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Last week my 91 year old mother fell and fractured her hip. As she was in the dining room at the assisted living facility that she now lives in, help came immediately, and she went to the hospital. Everyone in the family was, of course, quite upset by this latest mishap of our previously independent and stalwart Mother.
As a Christian, the first thing I need to do in a time of crisis is to go to the Lord in prayer, to bring Him into the situation and submit the process and the outcome to God, so I called my favorite national prayer line and also the heads of the prayer chains at my church. Since I believe God knows the beginning and the end, and wants the best for His children, I believe that everything can be turned for good, and even when we make mistakes, or fall or have accidents, God can take the burden from us and carry us through to the outcome. He never fails me.
It has been a week since my mother's fall, and several days since her surgery. They placed 2 pins in her hip to allow the bones to knit together, and she is doing remarkably well. They had her up and walking the next day, and she walks to the bathroom, and gets out of bed with help, and is getting around just fine. Her appetite is very good.
How does all this fit into Spark and health? My Mom was always a believer in vitamins and has always eaten a healthy diet. She's also a naturally positive thinker and doesn't dwell on the past AT ALL! She spent her younger years chasing and caring for seven children, almost by herself, as my father worked in the city and was gone 12 hours a day. In her later years she was still active, especially walking and swimming. She watched her 13 grandchildren, as well as the fats and snacks she ate, and always maintained an average slim body, but was a big fan of the McDonald's fish sandwich, but only on occasion.
I think the lesson we can take from this is that we need to prepare physically, mentally and spiritually while we have it in our power to do so, as when we get older, it may be beyond our control. If we are blessed with long life, we want it to be quality long life, and we can make it so while we still have the time. It's not only about weight loss, but about healthy eating and living a positive life of faith and love. It's developing relationships with family and friends that will carry over into our later years when we will need them the most. It's giving your best to others while waiting for the circle to come back to you, and to develop a relationship with God so that when you need him, you won't need to introduce yourself! LOL
Some things will always be beyond our control, but we can sure do our conscious best in the meantime! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 2/8/2012 1:55AM

    God bless your sweet momma!

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MARITIMER3 2/7/2012 10:08PM

    I'm glad your mother is doing well since her fall.

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PRINCESSNIBBLES 2/7/2012 9:19PM

    I am glad your mother is up and moving, and what a great example she is for all of us. I myself fell and fractured my hip three weeks ago (I am 48), and this is very encouraging for me to read. Thanks for posting emoticon

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JILL313 2/7/2012 8:41PM

    So glad your Mom is doing so well as Falls are really hard as we get older. I admire that she always took care of herself and yet had time for others, thinks positive and lived a healthy life. We all can learn something from how well she's lived her life. Prayers do work and she had lots of them said for her. Give your Mom an extra kiss and a hug as she's set a good example for her family and all of us. Thank you for sharing this about your wonderful Mom as I enjoyed reading that's she's recovering well.

Hugs,

Jill

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BELDONDOG1 2/7/2012 7:38PM

    Patty, loved this blog and you are so right. A lot of people only think of God in time of crisis and as you said "have to introduce themselves" I am very glad your mom is doing well and she sounds like a very fine lady. You take care of her and certainly yourself.

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BAMAJAM 2/7/2012 4:24PM

  What a delightful message in this wonderful story. So glad that your mother is doing so very well after her fall. She is indeed a remarkable woman... and fortunate to have a devoted daughter. Stay happy and stay healthy, and thanks for sharing!

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Extenuating circumstances

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The last time I saw my darling Grandson, I invited him and his girlfriend to come over for a "Pizza Party" one day, or evening. I left the invitation wide open due to his very busy and fluctuating schedule.
Last evening we had that little party, but it occurred in a kind of strange way. I was on Spark a lot of the day, and while on someone's page, had written my weekly goal as:"to not plan a personal pizza party for one (myself) for the Superbowl event. I had already postponed this pizza indulgence from a new year's eve party for one, so I had every intention of doing this again, and gaining strength from my self-denial.
So after I shut down my computer I pulled out my Caesar Salad kit from the closet and proceeded to prepare dinner. I broke the head of romaine into bite sized pieces, salivating and anticipating this joyous salad event the whole while. I mixed the dressing, croutons, lettuce and bacon bits in a large bowl and took it into my TV room to enjoy.
I was half way through my lovely dinner when the phone rang. It was the light and love of my life, my grandson! He reminded me that we had a tentative date for pizza, and could he and his little GF come over to visit that evening. I kind of hesitated as at first I thought I would have to ditch the salad in order to straighten up the place. I then regained my sanity, LOL , and proposed a 6pm. visit which gave me over an hour to eat my salad, (I SURRENDER NO FOOD!!!), put the sink full of dishes into the dishwasher, clean off the dining room table(which seconds as my computer space and office) and await the arrival of my guests. Mission accomplished!!
They arrived, the pizza delivery guy arrived, and we sat down to a scrumptious feast. We had the best time, and I enjoyed the best of both worlds. I was able to fit in, and enjoy some pizza without actually breaking my weekly goal, finish my earlier salad, and have the company of the person I adore most in this world.No sacrifice is too great for my grandson! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 2/3/2012 3:31AM

    You done good grandma!!

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BELDONDOG1 1/31/2012 11:51PM

    Patty, you did well. I find if I have one or two little pieces of pizza, it doesn't put me over my calories either. However, I don't have a GS to enjoy it with. Lucky Lady! :)

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JILL313 1/31/2012 12:09PM

    Patty, I am so proud of you as you had your pizza party with your GS and his GF but didn't go "crazy" when the pizza was right in front of you. I have a hard time when I'm around Pizza as it is one of my favorite foods but God help me as I always seem to overindulge in spite of my determination not to. Your GS sounds very Special and he is to you and I know you are to him. So Glad you enjoyed yourself last night!

Love,

Jill

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JEANNE229 1/31/2012 11:41AM

    What a great story. LOVE my grandkids. My oldest (granddaughter) has a boyfriend, but too far away for me to invite them over. Wish mine were closer. They ARE a joy.

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 1/31/2012 11:16AM

    That sounds wonderful! Aren't grandchildren the best???

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Good things come to those who wait

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Today I was blessed with a Rollator. For those who don't know, it's a walker with 4 wheels, a seat, handles with brakes, and a sometimes a basket. When we opened the closet to get out the television set to show a video at our meeting of handicapped people, sitting right in front of everything else was this shiny red Rollator. I've been wanting and needing one for so long now, ever since my Hoveround (tank !) plowed into the one I had and severely damaged the base. There was no way the steel legs of the rollator could be straightened again for use, and I couldn't afford a new one just then, so it was tossed on the rubble pile of broken wheelchairs in my garage. As a result, I have spent most of the past few years sitting down. That's also about the time I stopped losing weight on a regular basis, and just maintained my original loss.
As soon as I bring my new Rollator in from the car and dust it off, I hope to start taking additional steps each day, using my new walker for balance. It's been quite a while since I've had inspiration to build my walking stamina, so this will be a new beginning for me.
God has a funny way of teaching me patience: Waiting on Him for a new means of walking with assistance, holding my tongue while He works out family problems and situations, and letting me stay on a weight plateau for a good three years while I focused on my health and well-being, are just three things I've been kind of forced to endure, but all with happy outcomes. So I'm learning to wait on Him, and as the title of this blog says, good things come to those who wait. emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RFJSJ50 1/29/2012 1:53PM

    God provides - it may take a while - but HE provides!
Sheila

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JILL313 1/29/2012 12:30AM

    How Wonderful Patty--Was it a Birthday gift, just curious? I love my rollator and someday with God's help I hope not to have to use it. I regret that mine doesn't have a seat on it but didn't know how important that was when I ordered it over 3 years ago. I hope with a good weight loss to not have to use it any more as you know that often happens when people lose lots of weight. I also have to use it right now as need 2 knee replacements and it makes it necessary. I am so Happy for you--it's wonderful news and people love you and want you happy!

Hugs,

Jill

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ARTJAC 1/28/2012 9:41PM

    emoticon

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SCTRACKER 1/28/2012 9:34PM

    emoticonGod is so Good!

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JAKESOMA 1/28/2012 7:15PM

    Wonderful! God's ways are so above our comprehension but He is always there and he is never late. emoticon

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VADAVICTORIA 1/28/2012 7:01PM

    Patience is indeed a virtue and God certainly provides. Enjoy your new rollator and walk in God's grace. emoticon emoticon

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Creating my danger-free zone

Thursday, January 26, 2012

I got up this morning and while my coffee was brewing I went to the "cubby" where I had conveniently left a container of mini snack crackers, picked up the container, opened it and..............DUMPED the WHOLE CONTENTS in the GARBAGE. Just emptied the jar, didn't hold any back. So there's to you Ms. Passive-aggressive, and you Mr. Self-important! Two people in my life that play important enough roles to cause me distress. One friendship, the other organizational. Both only as powerful as the power I ALLOW THEM TO HAVE OVER MY LIFE. Both people were phone conversations at day's end yesterday that left me upset.
The conversations didn't go well, coming at the end of a day which featured a one pound weight gain for the week, and so I wanted to self-destruct. It's so strange; One week you couldn't get me to do anything self-destructive if you stood on your head, and the next, well, one container of snacks could have turned into a carton of chips. As spiritual as I feel sometimes, it's still all about the flesh and food. It's so complex; yet I try to figure it out each time, and never can. But working AT it and THROUGH it is my way of dealing WITH it, I guess. I DID throw out the offending food. That much I learned to do over the years, and WHEN I can do it, it serves me well. So the garbage bag will go outside in a little while, and I will have thrown away the poison. I am on track for today, and fortunately, had enough room in my food plan yesterday to accommodate the portion of snack I ate last night, so I was safe, and still am.
When things like this happen, it makes me so glad that I keep my home free of dangerous foods and snacks. Now I am in a danger- free zone again, will avoid talking with these negative people until I absolutely have to, and get on with my life. For today, I'm so grateful to still be learning and growing, and having the God-given strength to deal with issues that years ago caused me perpetuate an endless cycle of eat and gain, eat and gain. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAMAKITTY10 1/27/2012 9:11AM

  Way to go.

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ARTJAC 1/27/2012 3:45AM

    emoticon

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ZEEDRA 1/26/2012 6:31PM

    Good for you!

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MARITIMER3 1/26/2012 6:05PM

    Congratulations on throwing out the crackers. Salty foods are my absolutely worst temptation, and I simply can't keep them around. Problem is, DH always wants to have chips, salted nuts, etc. etc. around. Ice cream too. I love him dearly, but he isn't much help to me in this program.

You're doing really well; keep up the great work and try not to let Ms. Passive-Aggressive and Mr. Self-Important get to you... easier to say than to do, I know, and when someone gets to me, I head right for the fridge... so I do understand.

Gail emoticon

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SCTRACKER 1/26/2012 4:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CHERYLL1949 1/26/2012 12:13PM

    You ROCK! emoticon

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JILL313 1/26/2012 11:46AM

    I can't handle negative friends or family members and if I have to I just don't call them anymore. . .it's best to be surrounded by positive people. You were smart to throw out those crackers so there is nothing unhealthy even tempting you. Like they say if you don't buy it you can't eat it. Just continue to move forward and very soon you will drop a few pounds again. I am so proud of you--keep up the good job you're doing.

Love,

Jill

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