Good things come to those who wait

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Today I was blessed with a Rollator. For those who don't know, it's a walker with 4 wheels, a seat, handles with brakes, and a sometimes a basket. When we opened the closet to get out the television set to show a video at our meeting of handicapped people, sitting right in front of everything else was this shiny red Rollator. I've been wanting and needing one for so long now, ever since my Hoveround (tank !) plowed into the one I had and severely damaged the base. There was no way the steel legs of the rollator could be straightened again for use, and I couldn't afford a new one just then, so it was tossed on the rubble pile of broken wheelchairs in my garage. As a result, I have spent most of the past few years sitting down. That's also about the time I stopped losing weight on a regular basis, and just maintained my original loss.
As soon as I bring my new Rollator in from the car and dust it off, I hope to start taking additional steps each day, using my new walker for balance. It's been quite a while since I've had inspiration to build my walking stamina, so this will be a new beginning for me.
God has a funny way of teaching me patience: Waiting on Him for a new means of walking with assistance, holding my tongue while He works out family problems and situations, and letting me stay on a weight plateau for a good three years while I focused on my health and well-being, are just three things I've been kind of forced to endure, but all with happy outcomes. So I'm learning to wait on Him, and as the title of this blog says, good things come to those who wait.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RFJSJ50 1/29/2012 1:53PM

God provides - it may take a while - but HE provides! Sheila Report Inappropriate Comment

JILL313 1/29/2012 12:30AM

How Wonderful Patty--Was it a Birthday gift, just curious? I love my rollator and someday with God's help I hope not to have to use it. I regret that mine doesn't have a seat on it but didn't know how important that was when I ordered it over 3 years ago. I hope with a good weight loss to not have to use it any more as you know that often happens when people lose lots of weight. I also have to use it right now as need 2 knee replacements and it makes it necessary. I am so Happy for you--it's wonderful news and people love you and want you happy! Hugs, Jill Report Inappropriate Comment

ARTJAC 1/28/2012 9:41PM

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DEADDY 1/28/2012 9:34PM

God is so Good! Report Inappropriate Comment

JAKESOMA 1/28/2012 7:15PM

Wonderful! God's ways are so above our comprehension but He is always there and he is never late. Report Inappropriate Comment

VADAVICTORIA 1/28/2012 7:01PM

Patience is indeed a virtue and God certainly provides. Enjoy your new rollator and walk in God's grace. Report Inappropriate Comment

Creating my danger-free zone

Thursday, January 26, 2012

I got up this morning and while my coffee was brewing I went to the "cubby" where I had conveniently left a container of mini snack crackers, picked up the container, opened it and..............DUMPED the WHOLE CONTENTS in the GARBAGE. Just emptied the jar, didn't hold any back. So there's to you Ms. Passive-aggressive, and you Mr. Self-important! Two people in my life that play important enough roles to cause me distress. One friendship, the other organizational. Both only as powerful as the power I ALLOW THEM TO HAVE OVER MY LIFE. Both people were phone conversations at day's end yesterday that left me upset.
The conversations didn't go well, coming at the end of a day which featured a one pound weight gain for the week, and so I wanted to self-destruct. It's so strange; One week you couldn't get me to do anything self-destructive if you stood on your head, and the next, well, one container of snacks could have turned into a carton of chips. As spiritual as I feel sometimes, it's still all about the flesh and food. It's so complex; yet I try to figure it out each time, and never can. But working AT it and THROUGH it is my way of dealing WITH it, I guess. I DID throw out the offending food. That much I learned to do over the years, and WHEN I can do it, it serves me well. So the garbage bag will go outside in a little while, and I will have thrown away the poison. I am on track for today, and fortunately, had enough room in my food plan yesterday to accommodate the portion of snack I ate last night, so I was safe, and still am.
When things like this happen, it makes me so glad that I keep my home free of dangerous foods and snacks. Now I am in a danger- free zone again, will avoid talking with these negative people until I absolutely have to, and get on with my life. For today, I'm so grateful to still be learning and growing, and having the God-given strength to deal with issues that years ago caused me perpetuate an endless cycle of eat and gain, eat and gain.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAMAKITTY10 1/27/2012 9:11AM

Way to go. Report Inappropriate Comment

ARTJAC 1/27/2012 3:45AM

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ZEEDRA 1/26/2012 6:31PM

Good for you! Report Inappropriate Comment

MARITIMER3 1/26/2012 6:05PM

Congratulations on throwing out the crackers. Salty foods are my absolutely worst temptation, and I simply can't keep them around. Problem is, DH always wants to have chips, salted nuts, etc. etc. around. Ice cream too. I love him dearly, but he isn't much help to me in this program. You're doing really well; keep up the great work and try not to let Ms. Passive-Aggressive and Mr. Self-Important get to you... easier to say than to do, I know, and when someone gets to me, I head right for the fridge... so I do understand. Gail Report Inappropriate Comment

DEADDY 1/26/2012 4:50PM

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CHERYLL1949 1/26/2012 12:13PM

You ROCK! Report Inappropriate Comment

JILL313 1/26/2012 11:46AM

I can't handle negative friends or family members and if I have to I just don't call them anymore. . .it's best to be surrounded by positive people. You were smart to throw out those crackers so there is nothing unhealthy even tempting you. Like they say if you don't buy it you can't eat it. Just continue to move forward and very soon you will drop a few pounds again. I am so proud of you--keep up the good job you're doing. Love, Jill Report Inappropriate Comment

What was that hunger, and where did it go?

Monday, January 23, 2012

Just "lost" an hour's worth of blogging in one false move! Oh well, nothing new about that.
WHAT I NEEDED TO WRITE ABOUT, and still do, WAS THE EMPTY FEELING that I get when I cut back on my food, or even when I just stop eating for the night. But that's another subject!! Right now I'm actually very comfortable, in that I'm not hungry, and not full or stuffed.
I only had half an avocado on my sandwich for lunch instead of my usual whole avocado. So I feel like something is missing; it really isn't because whenever I ate a whole avocado, it was as a meal without the bread. Usually, I cut the avocado in half, remove the pit, and eat the meat from both halves with a spoon. Today, I decided to do it differently.
You would have thought I was making a MAJOR LIFESTYLE CHANGE the way it initially affected me! LOL
But now that I have spent more than an hour on Spark pages, blown a blog, and come back to write what I needed to say, I'm satisfied. I don't feel empty anymore. Is it that my food has finally had time to digest, or that I've been distracted, or have rationalized what my emptiness really was, or a combination of all of the above? It no longer matters, because now I have something else more important to do to fill the time I would have spent (over)eating, and life is good again.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 1/26/2012 8:47AM

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CAROLYNINJOY1 1/23/2012 8:51PM

You're doing great! I suspect it was a combination of the above. Regardless, BRAVO! Report Inappropriate Comment

RFJSJ50 1/23/2012 1:56PM

The important thing is that you are feeling good and continuing on! I know that sometimes I feel like a bottomless pit and could eat and eat and eat! I know that it's not hunger I'm trying to satisfy when I feel that way and I'm working on learning why it happens. I know it's all tied up with emotions! One thing that does seem to help me is to spread a tablespoon of unsweetened applesauce on a salt-free rice cake, sprinkle it with cinnamon and a pinch of truvia - I get the crunch and the sweetness. I've been known to eat five of them in one sitting - not a good choice but much better than many I've made! Stay strong! Sheila Report Inappropriate Comment

It's my turn

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Since the beginning of 2012 I have lost a total of 12.6 pounds. I am thrilled and overjoyed and bewildered beyond my wildest imagination. I was stuck on a plateau for the past three years, going up and down the same ten pound staircase over and over.
I've now dropped a total of 66.2 pounds of fat from 2001, and am totally in awe of this sudden turn of events. I worked in frustration for so long and now that my hard work is paying off, it seems unreal. I didn't even announce it at my Weight Watchers meeting today, or last week. I think a part of me is afraid that something will happen and I'll turn into a balloon overnight. OMG, that's so negative. To change that attitude I will do the following: Believe in myself , appreciate this great blessing for what it is, and give thanks to God.
Then, I'm going to continue to work my program and when (not if) I have another weight loss next week I promise myself and everyone who reads this that I will announce my total at the meeting. Besides, Weight Watchers owes me a few little weight loss charms for my totals.
Okay, so something else just occurred to me. There is a part of me that doesn't want to share this wonderful news with people who may take it lightly and not understand that this is my life's work, and it's who I am at the very core of my being. Undoing my fatness, which has been the very bane of my existence, is so close, and so deeply personal, that I can't risk sharing this in person just yet. I've done this before and it's always come back. Part of me is afraid, very afraid, that speaking my weight loss out loud will cause something self-destructive to happen. I need time to get used to it.
I know all of you understand exactly what I'm talking about. You've walked this walk and YOU KNOW. None of this will sound strange to any of you, and for that I am sooooooooo grateful.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARITIMER3 1/19/2012 8:16PM

Great to hear that you're doing so well. Sometimes it seems like we work without seeing results; other times it's "easy"... not really, but I think you know what I mean. Keep up the good work. Report Inappropriate Comment

JILL313 1/19/2012 12:24PM

I can really relate to your blog. . .I am so thrilled and happy for you! This is still almost unreal to you but sweetie the scale doesn't lie. When your ready to announce this wonderful news at WW I know others will be so happy for you. I honestly know how hard this is as we've not come to expect that we'll ever lose a significant amount of weight but you've done the hard work so wear those charms proudly. . .and more WL will happen as long as you stay on track, which I have no doubt you will. Thank you for always being there for me and others. . .now it's your turn to shine and you will keep shining brightly. Love, Jill Report Inappropriate Comment

IOWAGRAMMA 1/18/2012 9:33PM

Oh, Patty...like the others, I truly do understand. I, too, have been afraid to say much or let on like I'm even aware that I'm shedding pounds--that worked until it was obvious and then some of my friends were almost afraid to say anything!! At first they thought I was sick, but finally word got out that I was 'working on it' and lots of compliments came my way. I am still uncomfortable with that--I've been down this road before and I'm half afraid that something will happen to mess up the road map and cause me to lose my way. Slowly I'm learning to be more open and put it out there, but it is a struggle and one that is hard to learn. Part of it is that I'm usually a pretty private person. Patty, you must do what is right for you and if you are ready, get those charms from WW! You've earned them the hard way, and I'm thrilled for you! You know what else you need a big hug for? Not giving up--you've stuck it out and now it is paying off for you! Way to go, my friend!! Hugs!!! Jeannie Report Inappropriate Comment

TEXASLYNN 1/18/2012 8:24PM

Do I ever understand! Awesome job, keep up the good work. Report Inappropriate Comment

CAROLYNINJOY1 1/18/2012 8:12PM

AWESOME!!!! While I totally understand your hesitance about 'announcing' the success about your weight, it is a TREMENDOUS accomplishment. I'm so proud of you! It is deeply personal & significant that you might feel anxious about the return. ::gasp:: God forbid! *told you I understand* Bewilderment is to be expected. However, if you proceed doing what you've been doing, success will build on success. Take care my dear friend & congratulations. Report Inappropriate Comment

Weight loss-finally!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Well, the water pill that I should have been on all along finally kicked in this past week, and at my Weight watchers weigh-in today the scale was down 9.2pounds!! I was so thrilled I could barely talk about it. I finally felt justified in my complaints that the generic substitute water pills were just not working. Finally, the mfc. started producing MY PILL again. Finally, the fluid retention was coming to an end. FINALLY. My total weight loss is 62.8.***** I feel a hundred pounds lighter, and a lot of other good feelings that have eluded me for so long while I watched the pounds go up on the scale. I feel like I have a shot at achieving my goals again! I even called my doctor tio leave a message about the good news. I just needed it put on record so they know about it if there ever is a next time.
Just wanted to share the best news in my belated new year. thanks to all of you for your encouragement along the way that kept me from quitting.
. to all of you.
*****When i did the math it's actually an even 63 pounds

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 1/17/2012 4:42AM

AWESOME~~~ Report Inappropriate Comment

JKURJACK1944 1/13/2012 6:35PM

Congratulations. You must feel vindicated and ecstatic. Report Inappropriate Comment

LINOVER 1/12/2012 5:39PM

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GREENTHUMB70 1/12/2012 4:00PM

Wonderful Report Inappropriate Comment

LIVELAUGHXO 1/11/2012 8:29PM

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MARITIMER3 1/11/2012 4:57PM

That's terrific - you must have been the star of the class today. Report Inappropriate Comment

CO-CREATOR 1/11/2012 4:18PM

Congrats!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

ANGIEJAY77 1/11/2012 3:42PM

That is great news! I'm so happy for you! Report Inappropriate Comment

RFJSJ50 1/11/2012 3:26PM

That's fantastic news! I've noticed several people lately remarking "well, it's just water weight." BALONY to that! Pounds are pounds! Especially to those who deal with blood pressure and other medical problems. I'll join you in partying to celebrate those pounds gone! Sheila Report Inappropriate Comment

MISSB8604 1/11/2012 3:10PM

I am seriously so proud and happy for you! 62.8lbs of weight loss is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! Happy New Year Indeed! Report Inappropriate Comment

CAROLYNINJOY1 1/11/2012 3:05PM

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