Friday, September 21, 2012
It is with both sadness and joy I tell you that my mom slipped peacefully away in her sleep at the same nursing home where my husband is a resident. Although I'm sad for the loss of this dear woman, there's a sense of joy in knowing she is out of the bed that's kept her confined for the last 15 years and is, again, up and walking -- no she's running. "I Can Only Imagine" what she's doing right now, but there is no doubt in my mind as to where she's doing it.
In the wee hours of this the morning of my mom's graveside service, the words to the chorus of that song are streaming through my head ...
"Surrounded by Your glory,
what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus
or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in Your presence
or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah,
will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine"
Mom always loved gardening--Gerber daisies and pansies were her favorite. But, she will be best remembered for her Southern-style cooking. Fond memories will include the little "care packages" we received from her on special occasions that consisted of a shoe box filled with all sorts of goodies that were especially selected for each of us. Pink was her favorite color and Southern Gospel her choice of music.
Rest peacefully mom, knowing "I'll meet you in the morning some great day." Oh, and give dad a kiss and tell him that I miss him.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Although I do have an excessive amount of arthritis in my knees, especially my left, the orthopedic doctor I saw regarding the numbness in my left knee due to a recent fall, ruled out my problem as being “joint” related, and thought it to be “vascular," and suggested I see a heart specialist. Well, I took his advice and made an appointment for November 10.
After examining me, he came to the conclusion, “there’s a lot of work to be done." His initial diagnosis is Congestive Heart Failure (CHF), Pulmonary Hypertension, Venus Reflex Disease, and Sleep Apnea (I was aware of the latter), and has scheduled a battery of tests for me over the next month.
My biggest disappointment was to see the fluctuation in weight since joining SparkPeople—from 267 down to 241 and now up to 274. That’s 33 lbs. Although my doctor attributes most of it to water gain and has me on a duretic—it's still so discouraging.
If that wasn't bad enough, my primary care doctor prescribed insulin shots until I get my blood sugar levels and weight under control. Yesterday was my first time, and I have to admit, it wasn’t as bad as I had thought.
My attitude lately has been, “Gloom, despair, and agony on me--Deep, dark depression, excessive misery. If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all--Gloom, despair, and agony on me.” That is until I was reminded deep down in my spirit that my life does not depend on "luck at all." If it did, I really would have reason to despair. The heaviness lifted when I remembered what God says about it, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jer 29:11). So, do I know, specifically, what those plans are? Of course not—but I have total trust in the One who does. And as I call upon God daily in prayer, I will come expecting Him to show me great and mighty things I can't even imagine (Jer 33:3). And regardless of the outcome, my hope is still in Him.
So, what is MY part in all this? It is to get up each and every day and attempt to do what I know to do—I don’t even have to be perfect at it. That includes going to work each day, eating healthy and exercising, taking my shots and meds, loving and praying for my dear husband and family members, enjoying my church friends and the friendships I’ve made on SparkPeople. But most importantly—I will continue to trust God. With a plan like that--what more could a girl ask!
Your prayers are much appreciated and I'll continue to keep you posted on whazzup wit' me.
... of the rest of my life.
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