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Catholic Gasoline

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Sister Mary Ann's Gasoline
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco Gasoline station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic!!!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNY332 2/11/2011 10:01AM

    emoticon

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TEACHLDY4 2/11/2011 9:46AM

  Very cute!

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BENDER7 2/11/2011 6:43AM

    Cute!

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FLAME42 2/10/2011 10:23PM

    This was very cute!

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MS.ELENI 2/10/2011 4:18PM

    Oh how I love ya.Always make me smile. emoticon emoticon

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PJSTIME 2/10/2011 4:10PM

    Another good laugh. Thank you

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DARBOYMOM 2/10/2011 3:59PM

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MILLISMA 2/10/2011 2:39PM

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MRE1956 2/10/2011 2:22PM

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JPUFFETT 2/10/2011 2:19PM

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JPUFFETT 2/10/2011 2:19PM

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MY KIND OF TEACHER.......

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

A good education story.......

A former Sergeant, having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher; but just before the school year started he injured his back.

He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.

The smart-alecky punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest.
.....Dead silence.....He had no trouble with discipline that year.

SEMPER FI!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRI289 2/12/2011 10:24AM

    Oh yeah!!

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MCSNYDER1 2/12/2011 8:52AM

    I LOVE this!!!!

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BENDER7 2/11/2011 6:41AM

    emoticon

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DARBOYMOM 2/10/2011 3:58PM

    OMG, where do you find these gems? Love it! LMSO!!

emoticon

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CHALLENGER15 2/10/2011 2:17PM

    emoticon

Thank you for the smile. My teaching day is half done, but I do not think I will try this. emoticon

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TEACHLDY4 2/10/2011 9:44AM

  emoticon

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PJSTIME 2/10/2011 9:24AM

    HAHA thats a good way to keep them in line from the get go

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FLAME42 2/10/2011 9:14AM

    Saw this before & loved it then too. As former teachers we know about such things.
The marines is a good place to train teachers, I am thinking.....

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SUNNY332 2/10/2011 7:58AM

    Hehehehe - GREAT!

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SHERYLDS 2/10/2011 5:10AM

    LOVE IT

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MS.ELENI 2/9/2011 11:49PM

    emoticon emoticon

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THECRAZYMANGO 2/9/2011 10:35PM

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WINTER TRAVEL WARNING

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

With all of the severe weather we have been having this winter, the Department of Transportation issued a travel warning. They suggest that anyone traveling in the current icy conditions should have the following:

Shovel
Blankets or sleeping bag
Extra clothing including coats, hats and gloves
24 hours worth of food
De-icer
Rock Salt
Flashlight and spare batteries
Road flares or reflective triangles
Empty gas can
Booster cables


I looked like an idiot on the bus this morning!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VICKILYN4 2/10/2011 10:51AM

    You always make me smile!!! Thank you!

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TEACHLDY4 2/10/2011 9:45AM

  Loved it!

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DARBOYMOM 2/9/2011 12:50PM

    emoticon emoticon
Thanks for the good advice along with a good laugh!

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FLAME42 2/9/2011 12:37PM

    I didn't get to your blog until (Wed.)noon. Sounded like the advice I give all my grandchildren that drive until the last line.Thanks for the smile.

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LILYGAL 2/9/2011 9:14AM

    emoticon How ever did you manage the steps up to the bus?? That is a hoot!!!

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BENDER7 2/9/2011 7:08AM

    emoticon

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SHARONSPARKLE 2/8/2011 6:30PM

    Your blogs always make me laugh or smile at the least!

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PJSTIME 2/8/2011 5:50PM

    emoticon I bet you had to take up more than one seat too:)

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MS.ELENI 2/8/2011 5:04PM

    I just know whenever I come to your blog I will be smiling. emoticon

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POSEY440 2/8/2011 4:52PM

    I think it is very cute like it. emoticon

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SUNNY332 2/8/2011 4:41PM

    What a hoot. I was just thinking about printing out the list when I saw the last line.

Still a pretty good idea though.

BTW - I posted some Proud Momma photos on my blog today. Stop by if you have time.

Hugs, Sunny

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USMAWIFE 2/8/2011 4:40PM

    Cute.. a lot of bus's out there really could use them.

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STELLABERGEN 2/8/2011 4:31PM

  watch out for slick roads

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PLATEAU11 2/8/2011 4:30PM

  Great info

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MALE OR FEMALE???????

Monday, February 07, 2011

You may not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

Freezer Bags: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

Tires: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

Hot Air Balloons: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

Sponges: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

Web Pages: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

Trains: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

Egg Timers: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

Hammers: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

A little bit of lightness for a Monday.......

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIA4472 2/8/2011 6:51PM

    Thanks for the chuckles! emoticon

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SHARONSPARKLE 2/8/2011 6:35PM

    Another chuckle out of me!

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DARBOYMOM 2/8/2011 1:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
So very very true!!!

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KISSMYHIPSBYBY 2/8/2011 11:46AM

    I totally agree! emoticon

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BENDER7 2/8/2011 11:25AM

    Thanks... I needed that. emoticon

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PJSTIME 2/8/2011 11:09AM

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LOUANN22 2/8/2011 9:37AM

    lol i needed a good laugh

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FLAME42 2/7/2011 9:15PM

    Loved every one of these, great way to get a smile going. Needed a smile after spend a LONG time on the phone getting our Dish Network TV's up & working again today.

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KIGGANSJ 2/7/2011 8:51PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MS.ELENI 2/7/2011 7:38PM

    You always make me smile

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THECRAZYMANGO 2/7/2011 7:23PM

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SUNNY332 2/7/2011 6:44PM

    emoticon Thanks for taking my mind off of everything. It (my mind) needed the break.

Hugs, Sunny

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MY4KITTIES 2/7/2011 6:43PM

    I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for giving me a little chuckle! Thanks for sharing!!

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PONYFARMER 2/7/2011 6:33PM

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WD-40

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Do you know what the main ingredient is in WD-40?

WD-40 USES:

1. Protects silver from tarnishing.
2. Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3. Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4. Gives floors that "just-waxed" sheen without making them slippery.
5. Keeps flies off cows.
6. Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7. Removes lipstick stains.
8. Loosens stubborn zippers.
9. Untangles jewelry chains.
10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13. Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14. Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.
18. It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor. Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
19. Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40.
20. Gives a children's playground gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
21. Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.
22. Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
25. Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
29. Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31. Removes splattered grease on stove.
32. Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35. Removes all traces of duct tape.
36. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
37. Florida's favorite use is: "Cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers."
38. The favorite use in the state of New York, WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
39. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
40. Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
41. WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
42. Also, saturate lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash. Presto! The lipstick is gone!
43. If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.

PS........The basic ingredient is FISH OIL.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DARBOYMOM 2/7/2011 10:27AM

    Love that it is made from fish oil! That is too cool!

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BENDER7 2/6/2011 8:05PM

    WOW--I learned so many new uses! Thanks!

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SUNNY332 2/6/2011 6:54PM

    Who knew? I certainly didn't. Thanks!

Hugs, Sunny

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FLAME42 2/6/2011 6:44PM

    I didn't know all of these, some were familiar. Had no idea about the fish oil. Need to learn something new each day....

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MS.ELENI 2/6/2011 6:38PM

    I knew it did all that stuff but I didn't know it was mostly fish oil.Interesting

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2BFREE2LIVE 2/6/2011 4:10PM

    Good to know. I often substitute spray cooking spray for a lubricant for squeaks and things like that. I wonder if it uses fish oil as well.

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PJSTIME 2/6/2011 3:54PM

    Is this really true? I needed it for #40 just last week when I got bit my a few fire ants on my hand.

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