PATRICIAANN46   264,765
SparkPoints
100,000 or more SparkPoints
 
 
PATRICIAANN46's Recent Blog Entries

Potatoes (A Bit of Lightness)

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Well,
A girl potato and boy potato had eyes for each other,
And finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called "Yam."
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting Half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like "Hot Potato," and end up with a bunch of tater tots.
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries.
And when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get Scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, "Frito Lay."
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for her, one day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!!!!!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just.............
Are you ready for this?
Are you sure?
OK!
Here it is!

A COMMONTATER.......... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKLISE 5/9/2012 9:19PM

    emoticon I can't beleive the ending,but I have to admit it was a great word game! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHOAPIE 5/6/2012 12:26PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 5/6/2012 11:51AM

    I needed a good laugh emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 5/5/2012 9:09PM

    Too funny!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHERYLDS 5/5/2012 5:43PM

    THAT WAS GREAT.....luv it luv it luv it

Report Inappropriate Comment


Kids Say The Darndest Things!!!

Friday, May 04, 2012

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked my seven-month-old daughter. She was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, "No." I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Sooooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled.....
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_BEAR_69 5/4/2012 9:20PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Didn't see this one coming but definitely can see it happening.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLAME42 5/4/2012 9:10PM

    The title to the blog says it all. The honesty of children, wow!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEE1221 5/4/2012 9:01PM

    One of those times that you will remember and tell for years!! Very Funny.

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 5/4/2012 8:09PM

    Too funny!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHERYLDS 5/4/2012 6:20PM

    good one....and I can picture it happening too

Report Inappropriate Comment
0309COOKIE 5/4/2012 5:48PM

    That's hysterical!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATTOMMC3 5/4/2012 5:44PM

    OMG that is too funny!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PAMNANGEL 5/4/2012 5:39PM

    emoticonGeez! First laugh I've had in days!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Hypnotist At The Senior Center

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center.

Claude, the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.

"I want each of you to keep your eyes on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch....."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.

A hundred pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch until, suddenly, the chain broke; it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"S_ _ _!" said the hypnotist.......

It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Center.

Claude was never invited back. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_BEAR_69 5/4/2012 9:36PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
DH laughed as hard or harder than I did and we were both rolling!!!
THANK YOU!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PAMNANGEL 5/4/2012 5:42PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHERYLDS 5/3/2012 5:08PM

    good one.....
bet that was the best BM they had in a long time

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATTISTAMPS 5/3/2012 1:01PM

    OH OH OH OH.... It took me a second to get this, then I laughed until I cried.... TFS!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 5/2/2012 9:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 5/2/2012 8:37PM

    Uh oh . . . those post hypnotic suggestions will get you in the end! LOL

Report Inappropriate Comment
BIGMAMAT 5/2/2012 7:13PM

    hahahaha. oh goodness. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAC936 5/2/2012 6:34PM

    emoticon
So much for the show must go on! I bet the audience roared with laughter.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Wrong E-Mail Address (Priceless)

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!!!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

TO: MY LOVING WIFE
SUBJECT: I'VE ARRIVED
DATE: APRIL 27, 2012

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in.

I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!!!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!!!!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHERYLDS 5/4/2012 6:19PM

    that was great

Report Inappropriate Comment
PAMNANGEL 5/4/2012 5:45PM

    emoticonWanna bet the widow joined her husband sooner?

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 5/2/2012 9:49AM

    Uh oh! Messages from beyond!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 5/1/2012 10:42PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MY4KITTIES 5/1/2012 10:22PM

    This was funny! Thanks for the laugh!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLAME42 5/1/2012 9:27PM

    From now on I will definitely check my e-mail addresses!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELSEEBEE 5/1/2012 9:20PM

    This is TOOOOO funny! Thanks for giving me such a good laugh! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LILLI56 5/1/2012 9:18PM

    lol


Report Inappropriate Comment


Female Humor

Monday, April 30, 2012

Great Female Humor! After you read the message about the pilots, please read the quote of the day---it is so perfect!

While the C-5 plane was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc..

Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan."

An old Master Sergeant sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the Captain a woman?"

When the attendant came by he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?" "Yes!" said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."

"My God," he said, "I wish I had two double scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing, Sergeant," said the crew member, "We no longer call it the cockpit.....It's the box office."

Quote of the day:
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of
s_ _ _! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTISTAMPS 5/1/2012 11:05AM

    YES!!!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLAME42 5/1/2012 7:56AM

    This started my day with a very big smile! When will men learn those facts...

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 4/30/2012 8:48PM

    Definitely YES to that last one! HEE HEE

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 4/30/2012 6:38PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JIMIPAGE29 4/30/2012 6:14PM

    I'd be nervous to. My wife on a trip from Maine to CT ended up in Newport, RI. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WORKOUTWITHPAM 4/30/2012 3:46PM

    Very nicely stated!!!!! Thanks for sharing.

HUGS
Pam

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 Last Page