PARTICLEGIRL22   13,718
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Mental Block

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Sometimes my inner defeatist gets the best of me and Iím convinced Iíll never get to a healthy weight. Right now, my inner defeatist the loudest voice in my head.

The day after I finished the Dr. Oz cleanse, I was down 7 lbs. The next day, 5 of those were back, and they havenít budged. Iíve been staring at the same number on the scale for weeks, minus the loss from the cleanse.

Iíve been working out, hard, daily. With Max in school I can devote more time to the gym and Iíve been trying to things to knock my body out of itís rut. Iím getting more than the daily recommended amount of exercise. Iím doing some light weight lifting too to help with toning.

Itís my food. Itís always my food. I start the morning with good intentions. I have a healthy green smoothie and I put it in my tracker. I usually track my lunch. Then it goes downhill from there.

Now that I stay at home, Iím surrounded by more temptation. Thereís always a treat for Max or Brett in the kitchen. Last week itís been fudge and jerky brought home from our recent Michigan vacation. Yesterday it was cookies that Max and I made to bring to Chicago.

I know what to do. Chew gum. Wait 10 minutes to make sure I really want it. Find something else to occupy myself. Do I do it? No. I feel like I have a mental block. Like I donít want to lose band enough. What is scaring me about this process? Do I not want to give up the foods I love? Do I not want my entire life to revolve around my diet plans? I donít know. Iím just rambling in hopes that I can find some breakthrough in journaling.

Itís time to set some small goals to help me get going. Here is my goal for the first week of September.

1) Track ALL FOOD 4 out of 7 days.
2) Take all vitamins and probiotics 6 of 7 days.
3) Spend 30 minutes each day on Spark People
4) Take measurements. Maybe Iím losing inches but not lbs.

Also, in order to make the possibility of weight loss more tangible, Iím setting up some weight loss rewards

5 lbs- pair of shoes
10 lbs-60 min massage
15 lbs- A new purse
20 lbs- 90 min massage

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUEPERWOMAN 8/29/2013 4:33PM

 

You sound like me, VERY hard on yourself.
Wishing you the best.


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SINGER73 8/29/2013 9:57AM

    I'm exactly the same way. When my dietitian looked at my food log, she only looked at 2 things. My total carbs and protein for the day and said that I'm eating way too many carbs and too little protein. At the end of the day my carb/protein ratio should be 1:1. So if I have 150 g of carbs I should also have 150g protein. It's been really hard for me to make that happen but a least I'm trying. Take a look at your protein intake. Try to find protein rich foods to snack on instead of carb snacks. Aim for at least 25-30 grams of protein with each meal. I eat 1 turkey sausage with breakfast everyday no matter what I eat. It has 15g protein in it.

Keep at it. You will find what works for you.

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CANADIANFROG09 8/29/2013 7:21AM

    Wishing you great success towards your goals! emoticon

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ELRIDDICK 8/29/2013 6:57AM

  Thanks for sharing

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Firecracker 5000 5K recap- A new PR!!

Friday, July 15, 2011

So my last blog discussed how I ended up running the Firecracker 5000 5K on HHI. This blog is my official ďrace reportĒ.

The day before the race, there was registration at a local mall. Since I was on the island for a friends party anyway, I figured I would sign up there instead of worrying about trying to do it in the madness of race day. I was shocked when I showed up 30 minutes before registration ended and there was still a long line. Most of the people looked like tourists on the Island for the holiday since everyone was in flip flops or wearing race shirts from out of town races.

I was bummed about the complete lack of swag in the race packet. I mean, I donít require swag but itís always nice to get a free sample. They first 1200 registrants got tech tís but I was to late. Instead, I got the cotton version, which was pretty ugly. I wonít wear it but it will look nice in my Race-T quilt I plan to have made to commemorate my first year of running!

Brett decided he and Max would come with me to cheer me on, which was super sweet of him. Plus, it meant I wasnít going to be by myself pre and post race. I havenít had anyone cheer for me during the race so them being there was added inspiration.

This was the first race where I made the decision to go for a PR. I knew it was a flat course and I didnít have a stroller or running buddy to hold me back. Making that decision had me a little nervous as we drove to Hilton Head.

The race took place around a mall/shopping center which sounds odd but was actually pretty scenic. I was worried I would be running on hot, un-shaded asphalt but at least 75% of the course was covered by large trees. Plus, the course was right on the marsh so there was a nice breeze. The heat was barely a factor- a happy surprise.

We got there was just enough time for me to hit the port-a-potty and line up. There was little expo area near the finish line we could have browsed but it was crowded and I would not have had much time anyway. There was a band too, but the start was about 300 yards away so there was no loudspeaker to pump us up. Since I was doing intervals I started near the back and didnít realize the race was about to begin until I heard the crack of fire crackers! Everyone around me giggled because we had no idea things were starting. Of course there was a typical surge where we all ran for 10 steps then had to walk again. I didnít actually break into a jog until about 50 yards after crossing the start!

Turns out there were 1400 runners. It seems small but for me, it was by far the biggest race I have ever run. It was super fun because of all the spectators cheering on the runners. Brett and Max were at the starting line and Brett snapped a few shots as I ran past. Max actually saw me in the crowd and smiled and sat up in his stroller giggling as I went by! I ended up running straight through the first mile. The runners were pretty bunched together and I was afraid if I quickly stopped someone would either run into me or I would block them.

I was feeling great and running a good clip. I was passing people left and right and trying not to get annoyed at the walkers standing three or 4 abreast. As a run/walker I always try to be courteous and stand on the sides and check behind me before I start walk. Even though I ran the first mile straight I was feeling great!I walked through the first water stop and made sure to get to drink the whole cup so I would regret it later in the race.

The second mile was through a more scenic and shaded area and the crowds thinned so I went back to intervals. It by far seemed like the longest mile but with my music and the crowds I was still running strong and walking quickly. At the second water stop I was starting to feel tired but checked my time and saw I was on par to PR so I kept pushing. It was just past mile 2 that I saw Brett and Max cheering me on! Brett had the camera out and even though I was in a walk, I picked up my step to a run so he could get some action shots! They are too big to post here, but I will put up in my pics!


The last half mile I was feeling pretty beat, but every time I wanted to give up or walk, I thought about how bummed I would be if I didnít PR. That kept me going even when I thought I couldnít. The last mile went pretty quick and suddenly I rounded the bend and the finish line was in sight. At the turn, there were a ton of people gathered, lining both sides of the course, cheering on the runners. Brett cut through and ran with Max so he could get a few shots of me near the finish. After seeing him I kicked it into high gear and passed a few people in the last 50 yards. I saw the time said 35:something and I let out a big cheer and fist pump as I crossed finish. I felt AWESOME. I was so excited!

I wasnít really in the mood to stick around for post-race activities. I grabbed some fruit, found my boys, stretched a little since I had an hour ride home, and then headed back to Savannah .

When I got home I compulsively checked the race site for my chip time.

35:11. 53 seconds faster than race one moth earlier.

Yes!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZWARNR 7/17/2011 7:24AM

    Congratulations on a new PR! It's so wonderful that you had your husband and baby there to support you. What could be better than that? Sounds like a great race to participate in. Keep up the great work. I hope your half training is going well for you.

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ABSOLUTZER0 7/15/2011 9:11AM

    Congratulations on the PR! Woohoo! It seems that when you are on par for a PR there is something in you that makes you push harder regardless of how you feel. Way to push yourself to a new level.

I, too, will commemorate my first year experiences of running with a quilt. I'm attempting to run every race in a series we have in Arkansas (21 races) and I'm racking up the shirts. I had to buy an extra shirt once because it was a really nice shirt and one of my favorites.

Keep up the good work!

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TINYFRIEND615 7/15/2011 8:53AM

    Congratulations on the PR. Good job pushing yourself! I think firecrackers to start a race would startle me.

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My independence from fear-belated DIY Challenge update.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

This weekend, I declared my independence from fear. Fear of new experiences, fear of the hot weather, fear of running with other hard core runners.

I did that by running the Hilton Head Island Firecracker 5000 5K race.

Back in February I decided I was going to run 1 race a month for the rest of the year. I mapped out my runs and saw slim pickings during the summer months. The only July race was the Firecracker so I said I would run it. Then, in May, it started to get hot. Plus, I saw that race didnít allow strollers which meant I would have to ask my husband to not run or I would need to pay a babysitter through the nose to watch Max at 6AM on the Fourth of July. I didnít like either idea so I used the weather as an excuse. However, forgetting about it, I still left the race up on my SP message board signature and never told the Galloway team I wasnít running.

Next thing I know, itís July 1 and Iím getting comments on my page wishing me luck on my race. I re-thought about running but I let fear get in the way. I didnít to impose on Brett on his rare day off. I didnít want to deal with the hot weather. I didnít want to drive up to Hilton Head (an hour away) on a holiday morning. I didnít want to stand alone at the start and be alone when I finished as. I didnít want to do any of those things, because I was afraid of them. Still, the well wishes showing up on my Spark Page.

On Sunday, the day before the race, I went for a walk. I ran 7.5 the day before with the half marathon team but was still feeling good. I wanted to run but I knew I needed a rest between runs. So instead, I started mapping out a plan to get up early on Monday (the 4th) and run. The more I thought about it the more I realized I could probably swing the race. I was going to get up early anyway. I realized it was silly to worry about imposing on Brett. Heís my husband, itís not like he was going yell at me for asking. In fact, he would probably be super supportive. If there was late registration available, I was in.

I got home and went on-line. Late registration was available, so I signed up.

And I ran.

And I knocked 57 seconds off my PR.

Fear-schmear.

I got this.

(Race report to come)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIRACLELOVE77 7/9/2011 7:38PM

    that's AWESOME. Way to prove to yourself that excuses are just that and that you are bigger and stronger than little gnawing voices in your head. You proved to yourself that it's all in your mind and that you are even MORE AWESOME that you thought!!! CONGRATS on beating your PR by nearly a minute, that's incredible! :)

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SUZWARNR 7/7/2011 8:16PM

    You are awesome girl! Congrats on the new PR! I know what you mean about going to a race alone. I did that too last month. It just shows how strong you are. You can do anything and your hard work has certainly paid off. Looking forward to reading your race report.

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JUDIL62 7/6/2011 1:52PM

    Awesome!

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MOMASAURUS 7/6/2011 12:40PM

    emoticon
Awesome!!!!!

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JESSIKA_56 7/6/2011 9:56AM

    Woohoo, great job! Glad to hear the team motivated you! What a great encouragement.

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TINA_LYNN91 7/5/2011 10:53PM

    Good luck!!!!

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HJFOGARTY 7/5/2011 9:26PM

    way to go! that really is awesome! thanks for sharing and you really are a great inspiration!

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SRHALLIN 7/5/2011 9:19PM

    This is such an excellent testament to the power of positive thinking. Admittedly, it was SParkers, but, you were open to it, and you allowed it to motivate you; which is what SP is all about.

Congratulations on improving on your run time, completing the race, and learning just how much you can accomplish when you put your mind to it. You should be very proud of yourself.

Best wishes on your journey to good health and personal happiness.

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Catching up and a new decade on the scale!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Gaaah! I have so much to catch up on I donít know where to begin.

1). Doing RUNTRILAUGHís 10 day food tracking challenge was an EPIC fail. My trip to the Twin Cities was totally insane starting the night before we left when United called up telling us our flight out of Savannah was canceled. From there, all my plans of the trip faded away as I tried to just go with the flow and not freak out. I tried to make informed, healthy decisions about what I ate but there were some seriously splurges. Chipotle, full fat/sugar drinks from Caribou, desserts from local bakeries, wedding cake and lots and lots of liquor. Seriously, my family canít stand to see anyone without a drink in their hand. I made sure to have lots of water as well and I was never drunk. Still, I had way more than I normally would in a weekend. Despite that, I only gained 0.4 lbs at my official weigh in yesterday! Not bad indeed

2) I havenít run more than 4 miles in two weeks. That should make the 8 miler on Saturday interesting. I did get in one run while in MN. It was AWESOME! I started off on the hotel treadmill because I didnít know the neighborhood of the hotel. After 5 minutes I realized that was stupid because it was a gorgeous, cool morning and I wonít see those in Savannah until at least October! Even if I had to run laps around the hotel, it would have been better than the treadmill. So I went outside and just started running. It was great! I found a nice neighborhood and path. There will hills! It was cool! It was perfect. I was under a time crunch but got in 4 miles, mostly because I got lost!

3) Weight Watchers started back up at work again! WOOHOOO! I find meetings so inspiring but I had such a hard time making them when I had to go to the center. I think I went once in 2 months, though I at least went to a few more weigh-ins. This is the kick start I need to start eating right and tracking again. I have to be much more accountable as I know I wonít be missing any weigh ins. Plus, Iíve lost more than anyone else in the group so people look to me as inspiration. I need to be true to myself if I want to encourage other people

4) This morning the scale said 189!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was my personal scale and not the official WW weigh in but still- itís hardcore encouraging. Iíve been stuck in the 190s for months and months. This makes me feel so much more optimistic about getting to 175 by my half marathon in November!

5) On my trip to the Twin Cities I received so many compliments from friends and family and frankly I LOVED IT. I totally let it go to my head and basked in the fact people noticed all my hard work. I drank in all the amazement when I told people I was training for a half marathon. Honestly, I want more. Iím trying not to sound super selfish, but if Iím being honest, a large reason I am losing weight is to look good. Yes its for health reasons, yes itís to inspire my son to lead an active lifestyle when he grows up and yes itís because working out and eating well makes me feel great but ultimately, Iím doing this so I can be happy with what I see in the mirror. So I can shop wherever I please and not be limited to one or two stores when I need a new outfit. To borrow clothes from friends or steal a comfy t-shirt from my hubby. The endless compliments showed me that what I am doing is working and I need to keep it up. I look good now but technically, I am still obese. I can and I will look (and feel better).

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZWARNR 7/2/2011 7:44PM

    Sounds like you had a great trip, despite the challenges with food. Soak up all the attention you can get. It's very motivating. I'm glad you got a chance to run in a new place. I always love trying new things out and probably wouldn't have been able to pass up a run either. How did your run go today? It can be hard to adjust to the longer runs when you've been doing short for a while. I found that out last weekend on my long run. Congrats on the scale victory! You have great goals. Liking what we see in the mirror is one everyone needs to have. I am finally starting to appreciate the girl who looks back at me and can see what she has done and is accomplishing. You've done great so far and will continue to do so.

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MIRACLELOVE77 7/2/2011 1:01AM

    great blog. congrats on getting into the 180's!!! And I loved your honesty! It's true, I think a lot of us like seeing our reflections change for the better!

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BROWNJB0 7/1/2011 9:26PM

    You deserve that praise! Soak it up! Congratulations on your progress.

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ERLYWA 7/1/2011 12:11AM

    I love your honesty! So often we are made to feel vain or egotistical if we say that one of the reasons we want to lose weight is to look good and feel good about what we see in the mirror. Yet I cannot imagine one single soul who has lost weight that didn't have that as one of the goals. I guess it's possible, I just don't think it's likely. So it's really refreshing to see someone be so honest about it. Way to go! :)

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SM-ARTGIRL 6/30/2011 10:27PM

    How inspiring your page is and this blog too!
Keep it up, I love running too, and good on you for exploring an unknown neighbourhood- I find the treadmill tedious but jump at any opp to find a new track.
emoticon

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My DIY Challenge Entry!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

emoticon Challenge Name: The Iím Digging the Compliments and Totally Want More Challenge


emoticon Starting Weight: 190.8

emoticon Other things I will be measuring during this challenge & their current stats: (body measurements, race times, crunch max, jeans size, whatever YOU need to track)

1. Hips: will do tonight.
2. Waist: Will do Tonight
3. BMI: 30.8 (want to get out of the obese category!)
4. fit of my jeans: Want my 14 to be loose

emoticon I am going to be 100% honest with myself, the reason I am doing this challenge is because: I recently had an event where I saw people I havenít seen 6 months longer. All weekend long I was getting compliments about how I looked. I havenít had that happen in a long time and I donít want those going away any time soon! I only want to look better/healthier.

emoticonI feel like the reason that I have not been progressing as well as I hoped I would be is because: I havenít been tracking my food intake.
This time, I commit to finishing my challenge because I know that: If I do, I can finally see some scale and non scale results. Since April Iíve been at a plateau.

emoticon scared of: pussing out on another challenge.

emoticon want to: see the low 180s by the end of the challenge.

emoticon I have faith in: my desire to do this!

emoticon THIS TIME, I will NOT quit, because THIS TIME: I have the support of my fellow challenge-mates and the feelings of accomplishment I got from those compliments.

emoticon top five non-health related motivations right now are:
1. More Compliments
2. To not always be at the back of the pack of my HM training group
3. To be more comfortable when nekkid
4. The thought of never needing to shop at Lane Bryant ever again.
5. To be able to brag about my progress.

emoticon best way to motivate me is to: Cheer me on.

emoticon best way I can motivate myself is to: track the results.

emoticon name is Laura and I will not bow out early.
emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIRACLELOVE77 7/2/2011 1:12AM

    You've got this in the bag!

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APPLEHEAD326 6/30/2011 2:35PM

    You're doing great and your such a motivation :) keep it up!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOMASAURUS 6/30/2011 10:22AM

    SUPER excited!!! This is going to be an awesome challenge!!!
emoticon emoticon

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ASHLEYVRONEK 6/29/2011 8:49PM

    emoticon All of your ideas sound great! Keep it up! emoticon

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TRILLIUM22 6/29/2011 8:36PM

    emoticon

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JESSIKA_56 6/29/2011 8:29PM

    Woohoo! You go girl!!

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