PARKERCM   28,309
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2+ year Spark Member Writes First Blog!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

This has been an interesting week for me. My weight is up a few pounds, though exactly the same as September 3rd when I last weighed myself at home. And I need to weigh-in for my job before September 24th.
And that weigh-in is never pretty because it is fully dressed, with shoes, pockets full of work tools and pens, and with a jacket (or even winter coats and boots). There is an upper limit of 220 pounds. Right now I couldn't make that weight even if I were naked!
And I am stressed about this weigh-in. But it happens quarterly .I know it's coming. I have stressed about each for the past 18 months or so.
Then Wednesday I needed to do laundry--but I didn't. After my shower, I was trying to find something to wear--that fit. I tried on several pairs of pants that normally fit--but today did not. Now, I did get dressed and I did do laundry. But I kicked around stopping a Kohl's to buy a bigger pair of pants to "get me by" till I lose the same 5 pounds I have been playing with all year. Probably last year and the year before too.
I remember hearing a TV news team talking about cookies. The lady stated she hadn't had a cookie all year. I can't remember the last time I turned a cookie down. Even when dieting, I allow myself indulgences. No wonder my weight is up and my self esteem and confidence are in the crapper!!
So I am wondering: is this my rock bottom? Am I finally ready to commit to losing weight and becoming healthy? Or am I still just "hoping" the weight will come off. Because I know from past experiences that doesn't happen for me!!
Oh friends! Wish me well!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 9/15/2012 11:16AM

    Hang in there. You sound like you're ready to make it happen now. You CAN do it. For sure. Definitely you knwo we're here for you and glad to see you blogged about it, because I KNOW there's plenty of others in the same boat. Good for you!!

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TORTISE110 9/15/2012 7:39AM

    Honest blog, brave blog! Thank you for posting it. Tracking ahead? That was the step that got me going. Keep Sparking!

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REJ7777 9/15/2012 7:03AM

    Congratulations on writing your first blog! emoticon

I wish you success in reaching your goals. emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 9/15/2012 6:33AM

    I wrote a blog like this a loooong time back. Recently another Spark friend pointed it out to me, it was in August of 2008. In August of 2010, I declared myself at goal. It's a long road, but it is worth each step... and sometimes it takes each of those steps to learn what it is we're meant to learn.

One message to keep uppermost: you are worth doing this for. YOU, not the job. You will amaze even yourself, when you decide you are worth it. emoticon emoticon

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GREASE31 9/15/2012 5:41AM

    Hi PARKERCM,

I know exactly what you are going through, my weight has not always been perfect (see my sparkpage for relevant details), so i can understand what your going through. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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