Ohhh the scale.

Sunday, October 03, 2010

I know that the numbers don't always mean something, but I can't help grappling with the idea that I shouldn't be as heavy as I am. I recently started Crew (rowing) and we workout 2-3 hours 8 times a week. I've gotten really fit and toned, but my weight is still ridiculously high. I'm having trouble just accepting the fact that I shouldn't care what the number is as long as I look fine. The thing is, I don't always trust my own body image opinions because whenever I look "fine" I want to look "finer."

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PARICARP 10/4/2010 1:54PM

Adiposerose, your comment is remarkably accurate and inspirational; I really appreciate your input. I agree professional opinions are the ones that "should" matter... but it's definitely easier said than done. There aren't really any guys involved in all of this.. mostly just my own thoughts and opinions. I understand someone who works out all the time is going to have a lot of muscle weight, but it's frustrating I can't be "light" no matter how much I work out. I'm 5'7" and 160 lbs. People look at me and guess 140, maybe 150 if I hint that they're way off. It makes me feel like in order to look fit, I have to have defined muscles and abs so there is no mistake that my weight is from muscle, and not fat/ bulk. I don't know if that makes any sense.. Report Inappropriate Comment

ADIPOSEROSE 10/3/2010 4:11PM

Ridiculously high by whose standards? For what body type, height, and age? For someone who's lean and muscular, or someone who's fat and flabby? The measurement you are applying to make your determination is the *least* reliable (and the one that *matters* least) of all! Where do you fall, on the body-fat index scale? What's your blood pressure, cholesterol range, fasting glucose level? What does your doctor say, about your physical condition? For whom are you trying to look "finer"--someone who loves you and wants you to be healthy, or some jerk who wants to show off a "hot babe" to his salivating buddies? You need to tell the voice that tells you "fine" has to be "finer" to get lost. You can do serious damage to your body and your health and your mental well-being, traveling down that road. Go to your doctor, and get an expert's opinion on how "fine" you are--then take it from there! Report Inappropriate Comment

Emotional Eater...

Monday, September 06, 2010

I always labeled myself as an emotional eater on the criteria that they tended to partake in mindless eating. I never really considered the "emotion" aspect of it, because it wasn't as if I would have a bad day and gorge myself on cookies. Although, I just took the "diet personality type" quiz, and nearly started crying at the realization that I was so wrong. Not wrong on the emotional eater part, but wrong on the extent of my association with it. I've been trying to overcome a very difficult four years of Bulimia and one year of Anorexia, and some of the phrases were solemnly correct and painfully remindful...

"...grappled with weight most of your life."
"...'all-or-nothing' extremes..."
"A few spoonfuls turn into a snack turns into a binge..."

And then the atomic bomb,

"grow obsessed about eating."


It was hard to read, but it reminded me why I'm here, and why I need to put those four years behind me for good.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COMFYGLAMDIVA 9/6/2010 3:25AM

I'm the same way, never thought I was an emotional eater either. Now I know different. Good for you and realizing that about yourself. Take it one day at a time and enjoy the journey. Good luck! Report Inappropriate Comment